In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Welcome To The Hellmouth Written by: Joss Whedon Directed by: Charles Martin Smith Transcribed by: AleXander Thompson Copyright (c) 1997 Alexander Thompson ~~~~~~~~~~ Prologue ~~~~~~~~~~ In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. Sunnydale High School at night. The camera pans around from the side of the building to the main entrance. Cut to a hall. The camera moves down the hall past the trophy case and at the library turns to the right down another hall. Cut to a science classroom. The camera pans low along a row of desks. Cut to the windows. The counter in front of them is full of various things: a skeleton, some vertebrae, jars of things in formaldehyde, a skull and a microscope. A fist punches through a windowpane and reaches in to undo the clasp. It's a boy and a girl, sneaking into the school. Darla: Are you sure this is a good idea? Boy: It's a great idea, now come on. They crawl in. Cut to the hall. They come out of the classroom and walk down the hall. Darla: Do you go to school here? Boy: I used to. On top of the gym it's so cool. You can see the whole town. He continues down the hall, but she stops him close to the intersection. Darla: I, I, I, I don't wanna go up there. Boy: Aw, you can't wait, huh? Darla: We're just gonna get in trouble. Boy: Yeah, you can count on it. They almost kiss when Darla startles, draws a quick breath and turns her head around to look down the hall. Darla: What was that? Boy: What was what? Darla: I heard a noise. Boy: It's nothing! Darla: Uh, uh, maybe it's something. Boy: Or maybe it's some *thing*! Darla: That's not funny. He looks down the other hall. Boy: Hellooooo! (to Darla) There's nobody here. Darla: Are you sure? (looks away) Boy: Yes, I'm sure. Darla: Okay. She turns back to him all vamped out. She growls and bites him. He grunts in pain as they sink to the floor. ~~~~~~~~~ Credits ~~~~~~~~~~ Wolf: Howl. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ Buffy's room. The camera shows a shot from above of her in bed. She's having the nightmares, with visions of the Master's lair, the cemetery, the Master, of vampires and other demons, various events and artifacts. She wakes with a start. Joyce: (off camera) Buffy? Buffy: (sitting up) I'm up, Mom! Joyce: (off camera) Don't wanna be late for your first day! Buffy: (to herself) No... Wouldn't want that. Cut to the school. The camera pans from the street to the main building. Cut to Joyce pulling up to the school in her Jeep to drop off Buffy. Joyce: Okay! Buffy gets out. Joyce: Have a good time. I know you're gonna make friends right away, just think positive. (gives a thumbs up) Buffy looks through the open car door and gives her mother a quick nod. She turns to go and closes the door behind her. Joyce: And honey? Buffy looks back at her mom again. Joyce: Try not to get kicked out? Buffy: I promise. Joyce: Okay. Buffy faces the school and lets out a deep breath. Joyce drives off. Cut to Xander, doing his usual bob and weave through the crowd on his skateboard. Xander: 'Scuse me, comin' through, pardon me, 'scuse me, whoa! 'Scuse me, not sure how to stop! Please move, whoa, 'scuse me... (notices Buffy) Whoa. He stares at her and doesn't notice that he's headed right for the stair railing. He crashes into it and falls beneath it, grunting in pain. Xander: God! Willow walks up and has to step high to avoid tripping over his legs. Xander: I'm Okay. I feel good. She looks down at him, smiling and pulling her hair behind her ear. Xander: (sees her) Willow! You're so very much the person that I wanted to see! (gets up) Willow: Oh, really? They start walking toward the school. Xander: Yeah. You know, I kinda had a problem with the math. Willow: Uh, which part? Xander: The math. Can you help me out tonight, pleeeease, be my study buddy? Willow: Well, what's in it for me? Xander: A shiny nickel! Willow: Okay. Do you have 'Theories in Trig'? You should check it out. Xander: Check it out? Willow: From the library? Where the books live. Xander: Right, I'm there! See, I wanna change... Cut to the hall just inside the door. Jesse: Hey, hey! Xander: Hey, Jesse, what's what? Jesse: New Girl! Xander: That's right, I saw her. Pretty much a hottie! Willow: I heard someone was transferring... Xander: So tell! Jesse: Tell what? Xander: What's the sitch, what do ya know about her? Jesse: New girl! Xander: Well, you're certainly a font of nothing! Cut to Principal Flutie's office. Buffy is seated. He has her school records and walks around the desk to his chair as he looks them over. Mr. Flutie: Buffy Summers, sophomore, late of Hemery High in Los Angeles. Interesting record, quite a career... He sits, takes the sheet he's reading and tears it into four pieces. Mr. Flutie: Welcome to Sunnydale! A clean slate, Buffy, that's what you get here. What's past is past. We're not interested in what it says on a piece of paper, even if it says... (reads) Whoa. Buffy: Mr. Flutie-- Mr. Flutie: All the kids here are free to call me Bob. Buffy: Bob-- Mr. Flutie: But they don't. He begins reassembling the torn sheet. Buffy: I know my transcripts are a little... colorful. Mr. Flutie: Heeey... We're not caring about that. Do you think, uh, 'colorful' is the word? (tapes the paper) Not, uh, 'dismal'? Buffy: Wasn't *that* bad! Mr. Flutie: You burned down the gym. Buffy: (exhales) I did, I really did, but... You're not seeing the big picture here, I mean, that gym was full of vampi--asbestos. Mr. Flutie: Buffy, don't worry. Any other school they might say 'watch your step', or 'we'll be watching you'... But, that's just not the way *here*. We want to service your needs, and help you to respect our needs. And if your needs and our needs don't mesh... He puts the poorly repaired sheet back into her file and slaps it shut. She gives him a thin, nervous smile. Cut to the hall. Buffy comes out of Mr. Flutie's office. She opens her bag and rummages through it as she walks into the hall right in front of a girl and a boy. The girl bumps into her, making her lose her grip on the bag and spill its contents. Buffy: Oh! Sorry! Girl: That's okay. Buffy: (looks down at the mess) Oh... Xander hears the noise, looks back, quickly comes over and squats down next to her to help her gather her things. Xander: Can I have you? She gives him a confused look. Xander: Duh... (chuckles) Can I help you? Buffy: (smiles) Thanks. Xander: I don't know you, do I? Buffy: I'm Buffy. I'm new. Xander: Xander. Is-is me. Hi. (smiles) Buffy: Um, thanks. They finish gathering up everything. Xander: Well, uh, maybe I'll see you around... maybe at school... since we... both... go there. Buffy: Great! (they stand up) It was nice to meet you. She starts down the hall. Xander: (unimpressed with himself) We both go to school. Very suave. Very not pathetic. He notices a stake still on the floor. Xander: Oh, hey! (picks it up) Hey, you forgot your... stake. Buffy doesn't hear him and continues down the hall. Xander holds on to the stake. Cut to a classroom. The teacher writes "The Black Death" on the board and then turns to the class. Teacher: It's estimated that about twenty-five million people died in that one four-year span. But the fun part of the Black Plague is that it originated in Europe how? Cordelia is taking notes. So is Buffy, seated next to her. Teacher: As an early form of germ warfare. If you'll look at the map on page sixty-three you can trace the spread of the disease into Rome, and then north... Buffy doesn't have a book and looks around for help. Cordelia notices and shares her book. Buffy: (to Cordelia) Thanks. Teacher: And this popular plague led to what social changes? Steve? The bell rings and the students get up to leave. Cordelia: Hi! I'm Cordelia. (offers her hand) Buffy: (accepts it) I'm Buffy. Cordelia: If you're looking for a textbook of your very own there's probably a few in the library. Buffy: Oh, great, thanks. (they get up) Where would that be? Cordelia: I'll show you, come on. (they start out of the classroom) So you're from Hemery, right? In L.A.? Buffy: Uh, yeah. Cordelia: Oh, I would *kill* to live in L.A. That close to that many shoes? Buffy has to laugh as they go into the hall. Cut to the two of them walking down another part of the hall. Cordelia: Well, you'll be okay here. If you hang with me and mine, you'll be accepted in no time. Of course, we do have to test your coolness factor. You're from L.A., so you can skip the written, but let's see. Vamp nail polish? Buffy: Um, over? Cordelia: So over. James Spader? Buffy: He needs to call me! Cordelia: Frappaccinos? Buffy: Trendy, but tasty. Cordelia: John Tesh? Buffy: The Devil. Cordelia: That was pretty much a gimme, but... you passed! Buffy: Oh, goody! They turn toward a drinking fountain. Willow is there. She straightens up and sees them coming. Cordelia: Willow! Nice dress! Good to know you've seen the softer side of Sears. Willow: Uh, oh, well, my mom picked it out. Cordelia: No wonder you're such a guy magnet. Are you done? Willow looks at the fountain, then back at Cordelia. Willow: Oh! She turns and leaves. Buffy watches her go for a moment, then looks back at Cordelia after she starts talking again. Cordelia: You wanna fit in here, the first rule is: know your losers. Once you can identify them all by sight (glances after Willow) they're a lot easier to avoid. Buffy lets out a nervous laugh and nods. She looks at Willow again, who has gone through the door at the end of the hall. Willow looks back at them before she continues. Cut to another area in the halls. The two of them continue their walk to the library. Cordelia: And if you're not too swamped with catching up you should come by the Bronze tonight. Buffy: The who? Cordelia: The Bronze. It's the only club worth going to around here. They let anybody in, but it's still the scene. It's in the bad part of town. Buffy: Where's that? (stops outside the library doors) Cordelia: About a half a block from the good part of town. (laughing) We don't have a whole lot of town here. But, um, you should show! Buffy: Well, I'll try. (looks toward the library) Uh, thanks. Cordelia: Good. So, um, I'll see you in gym, and you can tell me absolutely everything there is to know about you. (waves and goes) Buffy: (waves back) Great! (to herself) Oh, that sounds like fun. She goes into the library. Cut inside. She comes in and looks around. It looks deserted. Buffy: Hello? (continues in) Is anybody here? She looks at the book checkout counter and sees a newspaper. A picture has been circled. The caption above it reads "Local Boys Still Missing." Giles comes up behind her and taps her on the shoulder. She spins around, startled. Buffy: Ooh! (exhales) Anybody's here! Giles: Can I help you? Buffy: I was looking for some, well, books. I'm new. Giles: Miss Summers? Buffy: Good call! Guess I'm the only new kid, huh? Giles: I'm Mr. Giles. The librarian. I was told you were coming. He heads around behind the counter. Buffy: Great! So, um, I'm gonna need 'Perspectives on 20th Century--' Giles: (interrupting) I know what you're after! With a big grin on his face he pulls out a large old book with the word "VAMPYR" written in gold leaf on the front cover. Buffy looks up at him with an uneasy gaze. Buffy: That's not what I'm looking for. Giles: Are you sure? Buffy: I'm *way* sure. Giles: (confused) My mistake. He puts the book back behind the counter. Buffy quickly leaves. Giles: (straightening back up) So, what is it you said-- He sees her go out of the library. Their first encounter leaves him puzzled. Cut to the girls' locker room. Two girls are discussing Buffy. Aphrodisia: The new kid? She seems kind of weird to me. What kind of name is Buffy? Girl: Hey, Aphrodisia! Aphrodisia: Oh, Hey! Aura: Well, the chatter in the caf is that she got kicked out, and that's why her mom had to get a new job. The girls work the combinations to their gym lockers. Aphrodisia: Neg! Aura: Pos! She was starting fights! Aphrodisia: Neg-ly! Aura: (opening her locker) Well I heard from Blue, and she said that-- The dead boy falls out of the locker onto Aura's arm. She screams and lets the body fall. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ The quad at school. Willow is sitting on a bench in front of a wall taking out her lunch. Buffy approaches her. Buffy: Uh, Hi! Willow, right? Willow: (looks up) Why? I-I mean, hi! Uh, did you want me to move? Buffy: Why don't we start with, 'Hi, I'm Buffy,' and, uh, then let's segue directly into me asking you for a favor. (sits next to her) It doesn't involve moving, but it does involve hanging out with me for a while. Willow: But aren't you hanging out with Cordelia? Buffy: I can't do both? Willow: Not legally. Buffy: (exhales) Look, I really wanna get by here--new school--and... Cordelia's been really nice... to me... anyway, but, um, I kinda have this burning desire not to flunk all my classes, and I heard a rumor that you were the person to talk to if I wanted to get caught up. Willow: Oh, I could *totally* help you out! Uh, if you have sixth period free we could meet in the library? Buffy: Or not. Or we could meet someplace quieter. Louder. Uh, that place just kinda gives me the wiggins. Willow: Oh, it has that effect on most kids. I love it, though, it's a great collection, and the new librarian is really cool. Buffy: He's new? Willow: Yeah, he just started. He was a curator at some British museum, or, or *The* British Museum, I'm not sure. But he knows everything, and he brought all these historical volumes and biographies, and am I the single dullest person alive? Buffy: Not at all. Xander hops up onto the wall behind the girls and sits on it between them. Jesse stands in front of them and drops his bag. Jesse: Hey! Xander: You guys busy? Are we interrupting? We're interrupting. He tosses his bag to Jesse. Buffy: Hey! Willow: Hey! Jesse: Hey there! He drops Xander's bag next to his own. Willow: Buffy, this is Jesse and that's Xander. Xander: Oh, me and Buffy go waaay back, old friends, very close. Then there's that period of estrangement where I think we were both growing as people, but now here we are, like old times, I'm quite moved. Jesse: Is it me, or are you turning into a bibbling idiot? Xander: No, it's, uh, it's not you. Buffy: Well, it's nice to meet you guys, I think. Xander jumps down to retrieve the stake from his bag. Jesse: Well, you know, we wanted to welcome ya, make ya feel at home, unless you have a scary home... Xander: And to return this. (holds up the stake) The only thing I can think is that you're building a really little fence. (hands it to her) Buffy: (takes it) Hah, no, um, a-a-actually it was for self-defense. Everyone has them in L.A. Pepper spray is just so passé. Xander: So what do you do for fun, what do you like, what do you look for in a man, let's hear it. Jesse: If you have any dark, painful secrets you'd like us to publish? Buffy: Gee, everyone wants to know about me. How keen. Xander: Well, not much goes on in a one Starbucks town like Sunnydale. You're pretty big news. Buffy: I'm not. Really. Cordelia: (interrupts) Are these guys bothering you? Buffy: Uh, no! Willow: She's not hanging out with us. Jesse: (stands next to her) Hey! Cordelia! Cordelia: (to Jesse) Oh, please! (to Buffy) I don't mean to interrupt your downward mobility, but I just wanted to tell you that you won't be meeting Coach Foster, the woman with the chest hair, because gym was canceled due to the *extreme* dead guy in the locker. Buffy: What? Willow: What are you talking about? Cordelia: Some guy was stuffed in Aura's locker! Buffy: Dead. Cordelia: Totally dead. Way dead. Xander: It's not just a little dead, then? Cordelia: Don't you have an elsewhere to be? Jesse: Y'know, if you need a shoulder to cry on, or just to nibble on... Buffy: How did he die? Cordelia: I don't know. Buffy: Well, were there any marks? Cordelia: Morbid much! I didn't ask! Buffy: (looks at everyone) Um, I gotta book. I'll, I'll see you guys later. She grabs her things and leaves. Cordelia stares after her. Cordelia: What's her deal? Cut to outside the gym. Buffy sneaks up to an outside entrance. It's locked. She uses her strength to break the door and goes in, looking around to make sure no one sees her. Cut to the locker room. Buffy finds the body and pulls back the sheet. She sees the vampire bite. Buffy: Oh, great. Cut to the library. Buffy barges in. Buffy: Okay, what's the sitch? Giles: (in the stacks) Sorry? Buffy: You heard about the dead guy, right? The dead guy in the locker? Giles: (steps into the light) Yes. She drops her bag on the study table and heads up the stairs. Buffy: 'Cause, it's the weirdest thing. He's got two little, little holes in his neck, and all his blood's been drained. (meets him) Isn't that bizarre? Aren't you just going, 'ooh'? Giles: I was afraid of this. Buffy: Well, *I* wasn't! It's my first day! I was afraid that I was gonna be behind in all my classes, that I wouldn't make any friends, that I would have last month's hair. I didn't think there'd be vampires on campus. And I don't care. Giles: Then why are you here? Buffy: To tell you that... I don't care, which... I don't, and... have now told you, so... bye. (turns away to go) Giles: Is he, w-will he... rise again? Buffy: (turns back) Who? Giles: The boy. Buffy: No. He's just dead. Giles: Can you be sure? Buffy: To make you a vampire they have to suck your blood. And then you have to suck their blood. It's like a whole big sucking thing. Mostly they're just gonna kill you. Why am I still talking to you? Buffy turns and goes down the stairs. Giles moves over to the railing. Giles: You really have no idea what's going on, do you? You think it's coincidence, your being here? That boy was just the beginning. Buffy: Oh, why can't you people just leave me alone? Giles: Because you are the Slayer. (comes down the stairs) Into each generation a Slayer is born, one girl in all the world, a Chosen One, one born with the strength and skill to hunt-- Buffy: (interrupts and joins in) With the strength and skill to hunt the vampires, to stop the spread of their evil blah, blah, blah... I've heard it, okay? Giles: I really don't understand this attitude. You, you've accepted your duty, you, you've slain vampires before... Buffy: Yeah, and I've both been there and done that, and I'm moving on. Giles: What do you know about this town? (goes into his office) Buffy: It's two hours on the freeway from Neiman Marcus? Giles: Dig a bit in the history of this place. You'll find a, a steady stream of fairly odd occurrences. Now, I believe this whole area is a center of mystical energy, (comes back with four books) that things gravitate towards it that, that, that you might not find elsewhere. (sets them on the table) Buffy: Like vampires. He puts the volumes into Buffy's arms one by one as he lists off various monsters and demons. Giles: Like zombies, werewolves, incubi, succubi, everything you've ever dreaded was under your bed, but told yourself couldn't be by the light of day. They're all real! Buffy: What? You, like, sent away for the Time-Life series? Giles: Ah, w-w-w-yes. Buffy: Did you get the free phone? Giles: Um, the calendar. Buffy: Cool! But, okay, (gives back the books) first of all, I'm a Vampire Slayer. And secondly, I'm retired. Hey, I know! Why don't you kill 'em? Giles: I-I'm a Watcher, I-I haven't the skill... Buffy: Oh, come on, stake through the heart, a little sunlight... It's like falling off a log. Giles: A, a Slayer slays, a Watcher-- Buffy: Watches? Giles: Yes. No! (sets down the books) He, he trains her, he, he, he prepares her-- Buffy: Prepares me for what? For getting kicked out of school? For losing all of my friends? For having to spend all of my time fighting for my life and never getting to tell anyone because I might endanger them? Go ahead! Prepare me. They just look at each other for a moment. Buffy exhales, turns and leaves the library in disgust. Giles hesitates for an instant. Giles: (to himself) Damn! He runs after Buffy. Xander walks out from behind the stacks. Xander: What? Cut to the hall. Giles catches up with Buffy. Giles: It's getting worse! Buffy: What's getting worse? He guides her over to the wall and speaks with her in a low voice. Giles: The influx of the undead, the... supernatural occurrences, it's been building for years. There's a reason why you're here and a reason why it's now! Buffy: Because now is the time my mom moved here. She tries to evade him, but he puts his arm out to stop her. Giles: Something's coming, something, something... something is, is gonna happen here. Soon! Buffy: Gee, can you vague that up for me? Giles: The signs, as far as I can tell, point to a crucial mystical upheaval, very soon. Days. Possibly less. Buffy: Oh, come on! This is Sunnydale! How bad an evil can there be here? Cut to outside the school. The camera descends behind some bushes and sinks through the ground into the lair of the Master. There are candles everywhere. Vampires bearing torches are gathering. The camera moves around the lair as Luke chants and eventually comes to rest on him. Luke: The sleeper will wake. The sleeper will wake. The sleeper will wake. The sleeper will wake, and the world will bleed. Amen! ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ Buffy's room. She's considering what to wear to the Bronze. She holds a shiny black outfit up to the mirror. Buffy: Hi! I'm an enormous slut! (holds up a blue floral dress) Hello! Would you like a copy of 'The Watchtower'? (lowers the dress) I used to be so good at this. Her mother comes into the room. Joyce: Hi, hon. Buffy returns her dresses to the closet. Buffy: Hey! Joyce: Are you, uh, going out tonight? Buffy: Yeah, I'm going to a club. Joyce: Oh. Will there be boys there? Buffy: No, Mom. It's a nun club. Joyce: Well, just be careful. Buffy: I will. Joyce: You know, I think we can make it work here. I've got my positive energy flowing... I'm gonna get the Gallery on its feet... Oh, uh, we may have found a space today. Buffy: That's great. Joyce: Oh, and that school is a, a very nurturing environment, which is just what you need. Buffy: Well, actually... Joyce: Oh, not too nurturing. I know, you're sixteen, I've read all about the dangers of over-nurturing. Buffy goes to her bed and lays out a couple of outfits. Joyce: It's hard. New town and everything... It is for me, too. I'm trying to make it work. (takes her daughter's hands in hers) I'm *going* to make it work. Buffy: I know. Joyce: Oh, you're a good girl, Buffy, (pats her on the head) you just fell in with the wrong crowd. But that is all behind us now. Buffy: It is. From now on I am only going to hang out with the living. (they let go of their hands, and she picks up her dresses) I mean, lively. People. Buffy heads back to her closet with an awkward look on her face. Joyce: Hmm. Okay. You have fun. Cut outside later that evening. Buffy is walking down a dark street, when someone appears behind her. She senses that she is being followed. After walking for a ways, when she gets a chance she ducks down an alley and looks around for a place to hide. A cat yowls and kicks some cans as it runs away. She spies something above her. Angel comes into the alley but doesn't see her. As he slowly walks along, the camera pulls up to reveal Buffy in a handstand on a bar high above the pavement. When Angel has passed underneath her, she swings down and kicks him in the back. He is knocked to the ground, and Buffy positions herself above him with a foot on his chest. Angel: Ah, heh. Is there a problem, ma'am? Buffy: Yeah, there's a problem. Why are you following me? Angel: I know what you're thinking. Don't worry, I don't bite. She backs off and lets him get up, but keeps her fighting stance. Angel: Truth is, I thought you'd be taller, or bigger muscles and all that. You're pretty spry, though. (massages his neck) Buffy: What do you want? Angel: The same thing you do. Buffy: (lets down her guard) Okay. What do I want? Angel: (steps toward her) To kill them. To kill them all. Buffy: Sorry, that's incorrect. But you do get this lovely watch and a year's supply of Turtle Wax. What I *want* is to be left alone! She starts a determined walk away. Angel: Do you really think that's an option anymore? You're standing at the Mouth of Hell. And it's about to open. She stops, turns to him and looks at him with a wide-eyed gaze. He reaches into his jacket and pulls out a small box. Angel: Don't turn your back on this. (tosses her the box) You've gotta be ready. Buffy: What for? Angel: For the Harvest. Buffy: Who are you? Angel: Let's just say... I'm a friend. (starts to leave) Buffy: Yeah, well, maybe I don't want a friend. Angel: (turns back) I didn't say I was yours. He leaves. Buffy stares after him for a moment, then opens the box. It contains a silver cross and chain. She takes it out, holds it in her hand and takes another glance in his direction. Cut to outside the Bronze. People are arriving and meeting. Buffy is wearing the cross around her neck. She walks up to the entrance, gives the doorman some cash and goes in. Sprung Monkey is playing "Believe" loudly, and the dance floor is crowded with people. Lyrics: Oh, I just want to believe / Can you hear me? / Can you see me? / What's inside of me? / Oh, I just want to believe / If my life can have a purpose / Help me to believe / Oh, I just want to believe / Can you hear me? / Can you see me? / What's inside of me? / Oh, I just want to believe / If my life can have a purpose / Help me to believe Buffy moves to the music a bit. She sees a guy waving in her direction and waves back, then notices someone behind her waving back and pulls her hand down, embarrassed. Lyrics: Everybody wants to find the circle / The line of truth that has no end / Because so many nights I've slept with the feeling of empty / And I say, right now I'm ready to believe She finds the bar and sees Willow sitting there. Buffy: Hey! Willow: Oh, hi! Buffy walks around her and sits on the stool next to her. Willow turns to face her. Willow: Hi! Buffy: Oh, you're here with someone? Willow: No, I'm just here. I thought Xander was gonna show up. Buffy: Oh, are you guys going out? Willow: No, we're just friends. We used to go out, but we broke up. Buffy: How come? Willow: He stole my Barbie. (Buffy looks confused) Oh, we were five. Buffy: Oh. Willow: I-I-I don't actually date a whole lot... lately. Buffy: Why not? Willow: Well, when I'm with a boy I like, it's hard for me to say anything cool, or, or witty, or at all. I-I can usually make a few vowel sounds, and then I have to go away. Buffy: It's not *that* bad! Willow: No, i-it is. I think boys are more interested in a girl who can talk. Buffy: You really *haven't* been dating lately. Willow: It's probably easy for you. Buffy: Yeah, real easy. Willow: I-I mean you don't seem too shy. Buffy: Well, my philosophy, do you wanna hear my philosophy? Willow: Yeah, I do! Buffy: Life is short. Willow: Life is short! Buffy: Not original, I'll grant you, but it's true. You know? Why waste time being all shy and worrying about some guy, and if he's gonna laugh at you. Seize the moment, 'cause tomorrow you might be dead. Willow: Oh, that's nice! Buffy looks up and sees Giles on the upper level. Buffy: Um, I'll be back in a minute. (gets up to go) Willow: Oh, tha-that's okay, you don't have to come back. Buffy: (smiles) I'll be back in a minute. Willow: (to herself) Seize the moment. Cut to Buffy, making her way to the stairs. The camera follows her up. Lyrics: I feel love with my friends / I feel love in my songs / If I could just hold love / Then all the answers might come / I said, oh, if we're all children of God / And we just turned away / I got a lack of belief / I said a world without faith / It's time we turn back around Buffy: (finds Giles) So, you like to party with the students. Isn't that kinda skanky? Giles: Oh, right, this is me having fun. Watching... clown hair prance about is hardly my idea of a party. I'd much rather be at home with a cup of Bovril and a good book. Buffy: You need a personality, stat! Giles: (points to the crowd below) This is a perfect breeding ground for vampire activity. It's dark, it's crowded... Besides, I knew you were likely to show up, and I have to make you understand-- Buffy: That the Harvest is coming. I know, your friend told me. Giles: What did you say? Buffy: The Harvest. That mean something to you? 'Cause I'm drawing a blank. Giles: I'm not sure. Uh... W-who told you this? Buffy: This... guy. Dark, gorgeous in an annoying sort of way. I figured you two were buds. Giles: No. The Harvest. Did he say anything else? Buffy: Something about the Mouth of Hell. I *really* didn't like him! The band has finished its song and there's lots of applause. They soon start their next song, "Swirl". Giles moves around Buffy, leans on the railing and looks down at the crowd. Giles: Look at them, throwing themselves about, completely unaware of the danger that surrounds them. Buffy: Lucky them. Giles: Or perhaps you're right. Perhaps there is no trouble coming; the signs could be wrong. It's not as though you've been having the nightmares. Buffy is silent. Cut to below. Cordelia: My mom doesn't even *get* out of bed anymore. And the doctor says it's Epstein-Barr. I'm like, pleeease! It's chronic hepatitis, or at least chronic fatigue syndrome. I mean, *nobody* cool has Epstein-Barr anymore. Jesse spots Cordelia and comes over. Jesse: Hey, Cordelia! Cordelia: Oh, yay, it's my stalker. (makes a face) Jesse: Hey, you, uh, you look great! Cordelia: Well, I'm glad we had this little chat. Jesse: (coughs) Listen, uh, you know, you wanna dance, you know? Cordelia: With you? Jesse: Well, uh, yeah. Cordelia: Well, uh, no! C'mon, guys. She and her friends leave. Jesse is left in the dust. Jesse: Fine! Plenty of other fish in the sea. Oh, yeah, I'm... on the prowl. Witness me prowling! Cut to Buffy and Giles on the upper level. Buffy: I didn't say I'd never slay another vampire. It's not like I have all these fluffy-bunny feelings for them, I'm just not gonna get way extracurricular with it. You know, if I see one, sure I'll-- Giles: (interrupting) Will you be ready? There's so much you don't know about them, about your own powers. A vampire appears to be completely normal until the feed is upon them, only then do they reveal their true demonic visage. Buffy: You're like a textbook with arms, I know this. Giles: The point is, a Slayer should be able to see them anyway. Without looking, without thinking. Can you tell me if there's a vampire in this building? Buffy: Maybe... Giles: You should know. Even through this mass and this... din, you should be able to sense them. Well, try! Reach out with your mind. (Buffy looks around) You have to hone your senses, focus until the energy washes over you, until you, you feel every particle of-of-- Buffy: There's one. Giles: W-where? Buffy: Right there, talking to that girl. Giles: You don't know-- Buffy: Oh, please! Look at his jacket. He's got the sleeves rolled up, and the shirt! Deal with that outfit for a moment. Giles: It's dated? Buffy: It's carbon dated. Trust me, only someone living underground for ten years would think that was still the look. Giles: But you didn't... hone. Buffy: (notices that the girl is Willow) Oh, no. Giles: Isn't that-- Buffy: Willow. Giles: What's she doing? Buffy: Seizing the moment! She starts down to rescue Willow. Lyrics: We're formed in liquid / Pushed out still dripping / A world was thrown before my eyes Cut to below. Willow is being led out of the Bronze by the vampire. Cut to Giles. He's at a loss for what to do. Lyrics: Now paint a picture / Crayon stick figures / With blue-haired people, purple skies Cut to below. Buffy has lost them. She tries the back. She breaks a leg off of a chair from a stack and begins to stalk. After a while Cordelia comes out of the restroom and surprises her. Buffy reacts, grabbing Cordelia by the throat and pushing her up against a wall. Buffy: (recognizing) Cordelia! (she lets go) Cordelia: God! What is your childhood trauma?! Her entourage appears in the restroom door behind her. Buffy: Have you guys seen Willow? Did she come by here? Cordelia: Why? Do you need to attack her with the stick? Jeez! Buffy turns and goes. Cordelia: (to her groupies) Excuse me, I have to call *everyone* I have *ever* met, right now. Cut to the main floor. Giles catches up with Buffy. Giles: That *was* quick. Well done! I-I need to go to the library. This Harvest thing... Buffy: I didn't find them! He grabs Buffy by the arm and turns her to face him. Giles: The vampire is not dead? Buffy: No, but my social life is on the critical list. Giles: (lets go of her) So, what do we do? Buffy: I'll take care of it! Giles: I-I-I need to come with you, yes? Buffy: Don't worry. One vampire I can handle. She leaves, walking past Jesse talking to Darla. Jesse: So, um, what did you say your name was? Darla: Darla. Jesse: Darla. You know, I haven't seen you around before. Are you from around here? Darla: No, but I have family here. Jesse: Have I met them? Darla: You probably will. Cut to the Master's lair. The Master rises out of the pool of blood as Luke kneels and looks on. He steps out of the pool over to Luke and offers his hand. Luke takes it. Luke: Master! ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ In the Master's lair. Master: I am weak. Luke: (quotes scripture) 'In the Harvest, he will be restored.' Master: The Harvest. Luke: We're almost there. Soon you'll be free! The Master reaches his arm out to test his mystical confines. Master: I must be ready. I need my strength. Luke: I've sent your servants to bring you some food. Master: Good. Luke? Luke: Yes? Master: Bring me something... young. Cut to the sidewalk next to the cemetery. Willow and Thomas are walking. Willow: Sure is dark. Thomas: It's night. Willow: Well, that's a dark time, night. Traditionally. I still can't believe I've never seen you at school. Do you have Mr. Chomsky for history? Thomas ignores her babbling and heads into the cemetery. Willow: Uh, the ice cream bar is this way. It's past Hamilton Street? Thomas: I know a shortcut. He grabs her hand and leads her into the cemetery. Cut to outside the Bronze. Buffy is trying to find Willow. Xander: Hey, you're leaving already? Buffy: Oh, Xander! Have you seen Willow? Xander: Not tonight, no. Buffy: She left with a guy. Xander: We're talking about Willow, right? Scorin' at the Bronze, work it girl-- Buffy: (interrupts) No, I need to find her. Where would he take her? Xander: Why? Oh, hey, I hope he's not a vampire, because then you might have to slay him. Buffy: (taken aback) Was there a-a school bulletin? Was it i-in the newspaper? Is there anyone in this town who doesn't know I'm the Slayer? Xander: No. I only know that you *think* that you're the Slayer, and the reason why I know that-- Buffy: (interrupts) Well, whatever, it doesn't matter, just tell me, where would Willow go? Xander: You're serious! Buffy: We don't find her and there's gonna be one more dead body in the morning! Cut to the cemetery. Willow and Thomas are walking. Willow: Oh, okay, th-this is nice... and scary. Are you sure this is faster? They reach the mausoleum. Thomas: Hey! Ever been in one of these? Willow: No. Thank you. (turns away) Thomas: Come on. (comes up behind her and pulls her hair back) What are you afraid of? He moves in toward her neck. She lets out a yelp as he grabs her and pushes her into the mausoleum. Cut to inside the mausoleum. Willow trips down the stairs and stops up against the stone coffin. She turns around. Willow: That wasn't funny! Thomas comes down the steps. She backs away from him, against a wall. She trips over some stones. Willow: I think I'm gonna go. Thomas: Is that what you think? He comes toward her again. She skirts by him, but only because he lets her. Darla blocks her way out of the mausoleum. Darla: Is this the best you could do? Thomas: She's fresh! Darla: Hardly enough to share. Thomas: Why didn't you bring your own? Darla: (gives him a look) I did. Jesse stumbles into the mausoleum, holding his neck. Jesse: Hey! Wait up! Willow: Oh, my God, Jesse! He is weak from blood loss and collapses. Willow tries to catch him and breaks his fall. Jesse: Y'know, you gave me a hickey. Thomas gives Darla a look. Darla: (shrugs) I got hungry on the way. Willow: Jesse, let's get outta here! Darla: Oh, you're not going anywhere. Willow: (confronts her) Leave us alone! Darla: You're not going anywhere until we've (vamps out) *fed*! Willow screams and falls back down next to Jesse. Buffy and Xander show up. Buffy: Well, this is nice. I-it's a little bare, but a dash of paint, a few throw pillows... call it home! Buffy moves behind the coffin to draw the vampires away from the others. Darla: Who the hell are you? Buffy: You mean there's actually someone in this town who doesn't know already? Whew, that's a relief, I'm telling you! Having a secret identity in this town is a job of work. Xander: Buffy, we bail now, right? Thomas: Not yet! Buffy: Okay, first of all, what's with the outfit? Live in the now, okay? You look like DeBarge! The vampires close in on her. She turns to Darla. Buffy: Now, we can do this the hard way, or... well, actually there's just the hard way. Darla: That's fine with me! Buffy: Are you sure? Now, this is not gonna be pretty. We're talking violence, strong language, adult content... Thomas roars behind Buffy. She pulls the chair leg out from inside her shirt. He attacks from behind, but Buffy neatly jams the makeshift stake into his chest. He falls back and turns to ashes. Darla can't believe her eyes. Neither can anyone else. Buffy: See what happens when you roughhouse? Darla: He was young and stupid! Buffy: Xander, go! Darla: Don't go far! Buffy and Darla start to fight. Darla punches high, but Buffy blocks. Xander helps Willow pick up Jesse. Darla throws a backhand punch, but Buffy blocks again and follows up with a front snap kick to Darla's stomach. As she leans forward from the pain, Buffy slams her elbow into Darla's back. Cut to outside. Xander and Willow help Jesse out and they start to run. Cut to the mausoleum. Darla hits the wall and falls to the floor, winded. Buffy: You know, I just wanted to start over. Be like everybody else. Have some friends, y'know, maybe a dog... But, no, you had to come here, you couldn't go suck on some other town. Darla: Who are you? Buffy: Don't you know? Luke grabs her by the neck from behind. Luke: I don't care! He throws her across the room. He grabs Darla and lifts her to her feet. Luke: You were supposed to be bringing an offering for the Master! We're almost at Harvest, and you dally with this child! Darla: (fearfully) We had someone, but then she came. She killed Thomas. Luke, she's strong. Luke: You go. I'll see if I can handle the little girl. He approaches Buffy as she starts to get up, still a little dazed. Darla quickly climbs the steps, looks back once and runs out of the door. Luke attacks Buffy with a double punch, but she blocks it and delivers a punch to his gut and a hopping front snap kick to his jaw. He steps back, but isn't fazed. Luke: You're strong. He lands a solid backhand fist on her. She goes flying. Luke: I'm stronger! Cut to outside in the cemetery. Xander and Willow are supporting Jesse as they run. Willow: We'll get the police, it's just a few blocks up! They are stopped by a group of vampires. Cut to the mausoleum. Luke: You're wasting my time. She backs away up the stairs toward the exit. Buffy: Hey, I had other plans, too, okay? Luke shoves the heavy lid off of the coffin. Buffy does a cartwheel onto and over it to avoid it and kicks Luke in the chest with both feet, knocking him down. She grabs the stake from the floor and lunges at Luke, but he is too quick for her, and grabs her by the wrist. Luke: You think you can stop me? Stop us? He grabs the stake with his other hand and breaks it. Then he grabs her by the shirt. Luke: You have no idea what you're dealing with. He throws Buffy onto the rim of the now open coffin. She rolls off onto the floor, dazed. Luke gets up and starts toward her, quoting scripture. Luke: 'And like a plague of boils, the race of man covered the Earth.' Cut to the library. Giles is paging through an old volume and stops on a picture of Satan with lightning coming from his hand to a man's. Luke: 'But on the third day of the newest light would come the Harvest. And the blood of men will flow as wine.' Cut to the Master sitting in an intricately carved chair. Luke: 'When the Master will walk among them once more.' Cut to Xander, Willow and Jesse surrounded by vampires, including Darla. Luke: 'The Earth will belong to the old ones.' Cut to Buffy. Luke is in her face. Luke: 'And Hell itself will come to town.' He grabs Buffy and growls. He lifts her by the throat and throws her toward the coffin. Buffy flips over in a front layout and lands in the coffin next to a skeleton, and lets out a quick scream, but then remains silent, only breathing. She can't see or hear Luke. She slowly starts to get up. Suddenly Luke jumps up and into the coffin. Luke: (smiling widely) Amen! He moves in to bite Buffy. To Be Continued... The Harvest Written by: Joss Whedon Directed by: John Kretchmer Transcribed by: AleXander Thompson Copyright © 1997 Alexander Thompson ~~~~~~~~~~ Prologue ~~~~~~~~~~ In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. Inside the mausoleum. Luke tries to bite Buffy, but burns himself on the cross hanging around her neck and jerks back. Buffy seizes the opportunity and push kicks him out of the coffin. She climbs out of it and races outside. Cut outside. Buffy runs to catch up with Willow, Xander and Jesse. She hears a vampire roar and a girl screaming and runs toward the sounds. Cut to Willow on the ground, about to be bitten. Willow: No! Get off! Buffy: Hey! The vampire looks up, and Buffy snap kicks him off of Willow. He gets up and runs away. Willow is shocked by what she sees. Buffy quickly starts the hunt again. Willow gets up and runs after her. Cut to Xander being dragged away by two vampires. Willow appears between two gravestones. Willow: Xander! The vampires are distracted. Buffy takes advantage of the opening and jumps in, high punches one and side kicks the other. She notices a dry branch on a tree and breaks it off. As one of the vampires gets up she plunges the stick into him. Willow rushes over to Xander who's still on the ground. Willow: Xander, are you okay? Xander: Man, something hit me. Buffy: Where's Jesse? Willow: I don't know! They surrounded us. Xander: That girl grabbed him and took off. Buffy: Which way? Xander: I don't know. She stands up straight and slowly scans the cemetery. Buffy: (whispers) Jesse. ~~~~~~~~~ Credits ~~~~~~~~~~ Wolf: Howl. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ The library. The globe up on the stack level is spinning. Giles stops it while he lectures and makes his way down to where Buffy, Willow and Xander are at the study table. Giles: This world is older than any of you know. Contrary to popular mythology, it did not begin as a paradise. For untold eons demons walked the Earth. They made it their home, their... their Hell. But in time they lost their purchase on this reality. The way was made for mortal animals, for, for man. All that remains of the old ones are vestiges, certain magicks, certain creatures. Buffy: And vampires. Xander: Okay, this is where I have a problem. See, because we're talking about vampires. We're having a *talk* with vampires in it. Willow: Isn't that what we saw last night? Buffy: No. No, th-those weren't vampires, those were just guys in thundering need of a facial. Or maybe they had rabies. It could have been rabies. A-and that guy turning to dust? Just a trick of light. (Xander gives her a look) That's exactly what I said the first time I saw a vampire. Well, after I was done with the screaming part. Willow: Oh, I-I need to sit down. Buffy: You are sitting down. Willow: Oh. Good for me. Xander: So vampires are demons? Giles: The books tell the last demon to leave this reality fed off a human, mixed their blood. He was a human form possessed, infected by the demon's soul. He bit another, and another, and so they walk the Earth, feeding... Killing some, mixing their blood with others to make more of their kind. Waiting for the animals to die out, and the old ones to return. Cut to the sewers. Darla and Luke are forcing Jesse into the Master's lair. Luke: Move! They reach the lair, which is actually what remains of a church, and Luke forces Jesse down the slope to the floor below. The Master approaches. Master: Is this for me? Luke: An offering, Master. Darla: He's a good one! His blood is pure! Master: (draws the obvious conclusion) You've tasted it. Darla looks down in shame. Master: I'm your... faithful dog. You bring me scraps. Darla: I, I didn't mean it-- Master: I have waited. For three score years I have waited. While you come and go I am stuck here, here in this house of... (with extreme contempt) worship! My ascension is almost at hand. Pray that when it comes... (takes Darla by the neck) I'm in a better mood. Darla: Master, forgive me! We had more offerings, but there was trouble. A girl! Luke: And there was a girl. She fought well and she knew of our breed. It is possible that she may be... Master: A Slayer! Cut to the library. Xander: And that would be a what? Giles: For as long as there have been vampires, there's been the Slayer. One girl in all the world, a Chosen One. Buffy: He loves doing this part. Giles: Alright. The Slayer hunts vampires, Buffy is a Slayer, don't tell anyone. Well, I think that's all the vampire information you need. Xander: Except for one thing: how do you kill them? Buffy: *You* don't, *I* do. Xander: Well, Jesse's my-- Buffy: (interrupts) Jesse is *my* responsibility. I let him get taken. Xander: That's not true. Willow: If you hadn't shown up they would have taken us, too. Does anybody mind if I pass out? Buffy: Breathe. Willow: Breathe. Buffy: Breathe. (to Giles) This big guy, Luke. He talked about an offering to the Master. Now, I don't know what or who, but if they weren't just feeding then Jesse may still be alive. I'm gonna find him. Willow: Uh, this may be the dumb question, but shouldn't we call the police? Giles: And they'd believe us, of course. Willow: Well, we don't have to say vampires. We, we could just say that there's a, a bad man. Buffy: They couldn't handle it even of they did show up. They'd only come with guns. Giles: You have no idea where they took Jesse? Buffy: I looked around, but soon as they got clear of the graveyard, they could have just, voom! Xander: They can fly? Buffy: They can drive. Xander: Oh. Willow: I don't remember hearing a car. Giles: Let's take an enormous intuitive leap, shall we, and say they went underground. Buffy: Vampires really jam on sewer systems. You can get anywhere in the entire town without catching any rays. But I didn't see any access around there. Xander: Well, there's an electrical tunnel that runs under the whole town. Giles: If we had a diagnostic of the tunnel system it might indicate a, a meeting place, it would, uh... I suppose we could go to the building commission. Buffy: We *so* don't have time. Willow: Uh, guys? There may be another way. Cut to the Master's lair. Master: A Slayer! Have you any proof? Luke: Only that she fought me, and yet lives. Master: Hmm, very nearly proof enough. I can't remember the last time that happened. Luke: 1843. Madrid. He caught me sleeping. Master: She mustn't be allowed to interfere with the Harvest! Luke: I would never let that happen! Master: Don't worry about it. I believe she'll come to us. We have something she wants. Luke smiles at Jesse. Master: If she is a Slayer, and this boy lives, she'll try to save him. Luke: I thought you nothing more than a meal, boy. He moves behind Jesse and takes his neck. Luke: Congratulations, you've just been upgraded. To bait. Cut to the library. Willow has the city plans on the computer monitor. Buffy: There it is. Willow: That runs under the graveyard. Xander: I don't see any access. Giles: So, all the city plans are just, uh, open to the public? Willow: Um, well, i-in a way. I sort of stumbled onto them when I accidentally decrypted the city council's security system. Xander: Someone's been naughty. Buffy: There's nothing here, this is useless! Giles: I think you're being a bit hard on yourself. Buffy: You're the one that told me that I wasn't prepared enough. Understatement! (exhales) I thought I was on top of everything, and then that monster, Luke, came out of nowhere... She flashes back to the fight in the mausoleum. Xander: What? Buffy: He didn't come out of nowhere. He came from behind me. I was facing the entrance, he came from behind me, and he didn't follow me out. The access to the tunnels is in the mausoleum! The girl must have doubled back with Jesse after I got out! God! I am so mentally challenged! Xander: So, what's the plan? We saddle up, right? Buffy: There's no 'we', okay? I'm the Slayer, and you're not. Xander: I knew you'd throw that back in my face. Buffy: Xander, this is deeply dangerous. Xander: I'm inadequate. That's fine. I'm less than a man. Willow: Buffy, I'm not anxious to go into a dark place full of monsters. But I do want to help. I need to. Giles: Well, then help me. I've been researching this Harvest affair. It seems to be some sort of preordained massacre. Rivers of blood, Hell on Earth, quite charmless. I'm a bit fuzzy, however, on the details. It may be that you can wrest some information from that dread machine. Everyone stares at him. He looks back at them all. Giles: That was a bit, um, British, wasn't it? Buffy: (smiles) Welcome to the New World. Giles: (to Willow) I want you to go on the 'Net. Willow: Oh, sure, I can do that. (begins to type) Buffy: Then I'm outta here. If Jesse's alive, I'll bring him back. (starts to leave) Giles: Do I have to tell you to be careful? Buffy turns back, gives Giles a look and goes. Cut outside. Buffy is making strides for a side gate. Mr. Flutie is there and stops her. Mr. Flutie: And where do we think we're going? Buffy: We? (turns to face him) I... Me... Mr. Flutie: We're not leaving school grounds, are we? Buffy: No! No, I'm... just admiring the fence. You know, this is quality fence work. Mr. Flutie: Because if we were leaving schools grounds on our second day at a new school, after getting kicked out of our old school for delinquent behavior... Do you see where I'm going with this? Buffy: Mr. Giles... Mr. Flutie: What? Buffy: He asked me to get a book for him. Uh, from the store, 'cause I have a free period, and I'm a big reader. Did it mention that in my transcripts? Mr. Flutie: Mr. Giles? Buffy: Ask him. Mr. Flutie: (swings the gate closed) Well, maybe that's how they do things in *Britain*, they've got that royal family and all kinds of problems, (locks it) but here at Sunnydale nobody leaves campus while school's in session. Are we clear? Buffy: We're clear. Mr. Flutie: That's the Buffy Summers I want in my school. Sensible girl with her feet on the ground! He turns and leaves. Buffy watches him go. When he's gone a ways she crouches and leaps the fence. Cut to Willow and Xander walking down a hall. Willow: Murder, death, disaster. What else? Xander: Paranormal, unexplained, did you get natural disasters? Willow: Earthquake, flood. Xander: Rain of Toads. Willow: Right. Xander: Rain of Toads! Do you think they'd have anything like that in the paper? Willow: I'll put it on the computer search. If it's in there, it'll turn up. Anything that'll lead us to vampires. Xander: And I, in the meantime, will help by standing around like an idiot. Willow: Not like an idiot, just... standing. Buffy doesn't want you getting hurt. They stop in front of their next class. Willow: I don't want you getting hurt. Xander: This is just too much. I mean, yesterday my life's like, 'Uh-oh, pop quiz.' Today it's 'Rain of Toads'. Willow: I know. And everyone else thinks it's just a normal day. Xander: Nobody knows. It's like we've got this big secret. Willow: We do. That's what a secret is, when you know something other guys don't. Xander: Right. Look, maybe you should get to class. (indicates the door) Willow: You mean 'we'. We should get to class. Xander: Yeah. Willow: Buffy'll be okay. Whatever's down there, I think she can handle it. Xander: Yeah, I do, too. Willow: So do I! Cut to inside the mausoleum. Buffy comes in slowly, looking and listening. She scans around. Satisfied that no one's there, she walks down the steps to the floor. She hears a rat behind her and twists to look toward the sound. She continues and finds the tunnel access. It's locked with a chain. She lifts the lock. Angel appears behind her. Angel: (exhales) Buffy: I don't suppose you've got a key on you? Angel: They really don't like me dropping in. Buffy: (faces him) Why not? Angel: They really don't like me. Buffy: How could that possibly be? Angel: I knew you'd figure out this entryway sooner or later. Actually, I thought it was gonna be a *little* sooner. Buffy: Sorry you had to wait. (exhales) Okay. Look, if you're gonna be popping up with this Cryptic Wise Man act on a regular basis, can you at least tell me your name? Angel: Angel. Buffy: Angel. It's a pretty name. She turns to the tunnel entrance. Angel: Don't... go down there. Buffy: (turns back) Deal with my going. Angel: You shouldn't be putting yourself at risk. Tonight is the Harvest. Unless you can prevent it, the Master walks. Buffy: Well, if this Harvest thing is such a suckfest, why don't *you* stop it? Angel: 'Cause I'm afraid. She looks at him for a moment and then spins around quickly, kicking open the doors to the tunnel. She turns back to him. Angel: They'll be expecting you. Buffy: I've got a friend down there. Or at least a potential friend. Do you know what it's like to have a friend? He lowers his eyes as a look of sadness fills them. Buffy: That wasn't supposed to be a stumper. They look at each other a moment longer. Angel: When you hit the tunnels head east towards the school. That's where you're likely to find them. Buffy: You gonna wish me luck? Angel says nothing. They look at each other for another moment, then Buffy turns and heads into the tunnels. He watches her go. Angel: (whispers) Good luck! ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ Inside the tunnels. Buffy comes down a flight of stairs. She looks around. She hears rats. One crawls across her shoes. She slowly starts down the tunnels. There are lights at regular intervals. When she reaches an intersection, Xander surprises her from behind. Xander: Did you see anything? Buffy: (exhales in fright) Xander, what are you doing here?! Xander: Something stupid. I followed you. Buffy: Well, you-- Xander: (interrupts) I couldn't just sit at home and do nothing. Buffy: I understand. Now, go away! Xander: No! Buffy: Xander, you're gonna have to. Xander: Look, Jesse's my bud, okay? If I can help him out, that's what I gotta do. Buffy considers, then nods her head for him to follow. She starts down the tunnel again. Xander: Besides, it's this or chem class. Cut to them reaching the top of some stairs. Xander: Okay, so, crosses, garlic, stake through the heart. Buffy: That'll get it done. Xander: Cool! Of course, I don't actually have any of those things. Buffy: (hands him a cross) Good thinking. Xander: Well, the part of my brain that would tell me to bring that stuff is still busy telling me not to come down here. I have this, though. (turns on a flashlight) Buffy: Turn that off! Xander: (turns it off) Okay! Okay! So, what else? Buffy: What else what? Xander: For vampire slayage. Buffy: Oh, fire, beheading, sunlight, holy water, the usual. Xander: You've done some beheading in your time? Buffy: Oh, yeah. There was this time I was pinned down by this guy that played left tackle for varsity... Well, at least he used to before he was a vampire... Anyway, he had this really, really thick neck, and all I had was a little, little Exact-O knife... Xander laughs nervously. Buffy: You're not loving this story. Xander: No, actually, I find it oddly comforting. Cut to the library. Giles is reading from a volume. Giles: 'For they will gather and be gathered. From the Vessel pours life.' P... Pours life... He turns the page back to the picture of Satan feeding power to a man. Giles: 'On the night of the crescent moon, the first past the solstice it will come...' Of course. That's tonight! Cut to the computer lab. Cordelia is struggling with her computer programming assignment. Cordelia: No! It's supposed to find the syntax and match it. Or wait... Harmony: Are we going to the Bronze tonight? Cordelia: No, we're going to the other cool place in Sunnydale. Harmony looks confused. Cordelia: Of course we're going to the Bronze. Friday night? No cover? But you should have been there last night. 'Cause I ran into Buffy... Willow overhears the conversation. Cordelia: ...and can she be any weirder? She attacked me! Do you believe it? Harmony: (exhales) I think we did this part wrong. Cordelia: Why do we have to devise these programs, isn't that what nerds are for? (whispers, indicating Willow) What'd she do? Harmony looks at Willow's screen. She's surfing a newspaper archive website. Harmony: (to Cordelia) Uh, she's doing something else. Cordelia: Okay, and then pattern run, right? Or go to end? That's it! Harmony: Maybe! Cordelia: So anyway, I come outta the bathroom, and she comes running at me. Screaming! With a stick! 'I'm gonna kill you! I'm gonna kill you!' I swear! Boy: Who? Cordelia: Buffy! Harmony: The new girl? Boy: What's her deal? Cordelia: Well, she's crazed. Harmony: Did you hear about her old school? Cordelia and the boy both shake their heads. Harmony: Booted. Cordelia: Well, I exhibit no surprise. Boy: Why was she kicked out? Cordelia: Uh, because she's a psycho loony! Willow: (interjects) No, she's not. Cordelia: What? Willow: (turns to them) She's not a psycho. You don't even know her. Cordelia: Excuse me? Who gave you permission to exist? Willow turns away, eyes down. Cordelia: Do I horn in on your private discussions? No. Why? Because you're boring. Willow gets up and goes to get her printouts. Harmony: Okay, I think the program's done. Cordelia: Finally the nightmare ends! Okay, so how do we save it? Willow: Deliver. Cordelia: Deliver? Where's that? (searches the keyboard) Oh! She hits the "Del" key, and her program disappears. She stares at the screen in wide-eyed, open-mouthed horror. Cut to the tunnels. Buffy: They're close. Xander: How can you tell? Buffy: No more rats. Xander turns on his flashlight and spots Jesse on the ground. Xander: Jesse! Buffy: Oh, no! Jesse reacts and jumps up. Xander: J-J-Jesse! Jesse: Xander! The two boys embrace. Xander: Jesse, man, are you okay? Jesse: I am not okay, on an *epic* scale. Buffy shines the light on the shackles around Jesse's ankle. Jesse: We gotta get outta here! Xander: It's cool, Buffy's a superhero. Buffy: Hold on... (breaks the shackles) Xander: Do you think anyone heard that? They see shadows moving on the walls and start to run down the tunnel. Vampires come around the corner. Cut to Xander, Buffy and Jesse in another part of the tunnel. Jesse: They knew you were gonna come. They said that I... I was the bait. Xander: Oh, great, now you tell us. They round a corner and are met by vampires. Buffy: Oops! Jesse: Oh, no, no, no, no! Buffy: Do you know another way out? Jesse: I dunno. Maybe. C'mon! They run. At another intersection they see glowing eyes to their right. Jesse: Wait, wait. They brought me through here, there, there should be a way up. I hope! Jesse leads them into a chamber. Buffy: I don't think this is the way out! Xander: We can't fight our way back through those things. What do we do? Jesse: I got an idea. (vamps out) You can die! ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ In the chamber. Xander: Jesse, man. I'm sorry. Jesse: Sorry? I feel good, Xander! I feel strong! I'm connected, man, to everything! Buffy begins struggling with the door, trying to close it. Jesse: I, I can hear the worms in the earth! Xander: That's a plus. Jesse: I know what the Master wants. I'll serve his purpose. That means you die. And I feed. Buffy: (looks back at them) Xander, the cross! He holds the cross up to Jesse's face. Jesse steps back and growls. Xander: Jesse, man. We're buds, don't you remember? Jesse: You're like a shadow to me now. Xander: Then get outta my face. Jesse knocks Xander's arm to the side, making him hit the wall. He jumps to the other side of the room, facing Xander. Buffy grabs him from behind and throws him out of the chamber into the advancing vampires, knocking them all down, and goes back to trying to close the door. Buffy: (to Xander) Help me! Xander jumps up to help, and together they get it to move. They close it on a vampire's arm. The vampire pulls its arm back out of the door, and Buffy slams it shut and closes the latch. The vampires begin pounding on the door. Buffy: We need to get out of here! Xander: There is no out of here! He uses his flashlight to look around and spots a grate in the ceiling. Xander: Up there! Buffy leaps on top of a barrel and begins to pry the grate open. The vampires have started to bend in a corner of the door. They twist it and push it in further. Buffy gets the grate open. Buffy: Go! She helps Xander crawl up into a ventilation duct. A vampire starts to struggle through the bent corner of the door. He reaches in and pulls the latch open as Xander gets through the grate. Buffy follows him quickly as the first vampire enters the chamber. He follows them through the grate into the duct. Xander and Buffy crawl like mad. He finds a ladder up to a manhole and starts climbing the rungs. Buffy follows. The vampire is right behind them. Xander pushes open the manhole cover and climbs out into daylight. He turns to help Buffy out. The vampire grabs her ankle and tries to pull her back down. Buffy: Xander, pull! He pulls on her, and the vampire's hand is exposed to the sunlight and burns. The vampire lets go, and they tumble backward to the ground. Cut to the Master's lair. Master: She escaped? She walks free when I should be drinking her heart's blood right now? Careless... Colin: Master, we had her trapped! Master: Oh, are you going to make excuses? Colin remains silent. Master: You are all weak. It has been too long since you have faced the Slayer. Huh. It is no matter to me. She will not stop the Harvest. Just means there'll be someone worth killing... when I reach the surface. Is Luke ready? Colin: He waits. Master: It's time. Bring him to me. Colin turns to go get Luke. Master: Ah, Colin... (Colin turns back) You failed me. Tell me you're sorry. Colin: I'm sorry! Master: There. That wasn't so bad, was it? Hold on... He stabs his finger into Colin's face. Master: You've got something in your eye. Cut to the library where Giles is still doing his research. He hears someone come in. Giles: Buffy? Willow: It's just me. So there's no word? Giles: Ah, not as yet, no. Willow: Well, I-I'm sure they're... great. Giles: Did you find anything of interest? Willow: I think, maybe... I surfed through the old newspapers around the time of that big earthquake back in '37? And for several months before there were a rash of murders. (hands him her printouts) Giles: Great! I-I mean, well, not, not 'great' in a good way, uh, um, uh, go on? Willow: Well, they sound like the kind you were looking for. (flips through the pages) Throats, blood... (looks squeamish) Giles: It's all coming together. I rather wish it weren't. Cut to the Master's lair. Luke approaches the Master and kneels before him. The Master offers his hand. Luke takes it and kisses it. He releases it and the Master turns it over to offer the underside of his wrist. Darla is watching and smiles. Luke opens the cuff of the Master's sleeve and pulls it back. He takes his hand again, sinks his fangs into the wrist above it and drinks of the blood. He releases the hand, and the Master takes it back. Master: My blood is your blood. My soul is your soul. Luke: My body is your instrument. The Master steps down to Luke and begins to draw a three-pointed star on Luke's forehead with the blood still flowing from his wrist. Master: On this... most hallowed night... we are as one. Luke is the Vessel! Darla's smile widens. Master: Every soul he takes will feed me. And their souls will grant me the strength to free myself. Tonight I shall walk the Earth, and the stars themselves will hide! Cut to the library. Willow is looking at one of Giles' volumes. She hears the door open and looks up to see Xander and Buffy come in. Willow: Did you find Jesse? Xander: Yeah. Willow: Was he dead? Buffy: Worse. (sits at the end of the table) I'm sorry, Willow. We were too late. And they were waiting for us. Willow: At least you two are okay. Xander violently kicks a waste basket. Buffy is startled. Xander: I don't like vampires. I'm gonna take a stand and say they're not good. Buffy: (turns to Giles) So, Giles! Got anything that can make this day any worse? He goes over to the whiteboard and puts down his pen. Giles: How about the end of the world? Buffy: Knew I could count on you. Giles: This is what we know. Some sixty years ago, a very old, very powerful vampire came to this shore, not just to feed. Buffy: He came 'cause this town's a mystical who's it. Giles: Yes. The Spanish who first settled here called it 'Boca del Infierno'. Roughly translated, 'Hellmouth'. It's a sort of, um, portal between this reality and the next. This vampire hopes to open it. Buffy: Bring the demons back. Xander: End of the world. Willow: But he blew it! Or, I mean, there was an earthquake that swallowed half the town, and him, too. Giles: You see, opening dimensional portals is a tricky business. Odds are he got himself stuck, rather like a, uh, cork in a bottle. Xander: And this Harvest thing is to get him out. Giles: It comes once in a century, on this night. The Master can draw power from one of his minions while it feeds. Enough power to break free and open the portal. The minion is called the Vessel, and he bears this symbol. He draws a three-pointed star on the whiteboard. Buffy: So, I dust anyone sporting that symbol, and no Harvest. Giles: Simply put, yes. Buffy: Any idea where this little get-together is being held? Giles: There, there are a number of possibilities. Xander: They're goin' to the Bronze. Willow: Are you sure? Xander: Come on. All those tasty young morsels all over the place? Anyway, that's where Jesse's gonna be, trust me. Giles grabs his coat and starts out of the library. The others begin to follow. Giles: Then we should get there. The sun will be down before long. Buffy: I gotta make a stop. Won't take long. Giles: What for? Buffy: Supplies. Cut to a view of the sun setting above a ridge. Cut to Buffy in her room. She goes to her closet and pulls out a heavy, black jacket. Her mother walks into the room. Joyce: Buffy? Buffy: Mom! Joyce: You're going out? Buffy: I have to. (puts on her jacket) Joyce: I didn't hear you come in last night. Buffy: I was really quiet. Joyce: It's happening again, isn't it? I got a call from your new principal. Says you missed some classes today? Buffy: I was running an errand. Joyce: We haven't finished unpacking, and I'm getting calls from the principal. Buffy: Mom, I promise, it is *not* gonna be like before. But I *have* to go. Joyce: No. Buffy: Mom?! Joyce: The tapes all say I should get used to saying it. No. Buffy: This is really, really important. Joyce: I know. If you don't go out it'll be the end of the world. Everything is life or death when you're a sixteen-year-old girl. Buffy: Look, I don't have time to talk about this... Joyce: Buffy, you've got all the time in the world, you're not going anywhere. Now, if you wanna stay up here and sulk, I won't hold it against you. But if you wanna come down, I'll make us some dinner. She leaves the room, pulling the door closed behind her. Buffy can't believe what just happened. She leans against the closet door, takes a deep breath and exhales. Then she turns and opens the closet again and pulls out a large chest. It has a flat box in it full of her stuff. She lifts out the box to reveal what's underneath. Stakes, crosses, garlic, bottles of holy water. She pulls a bunch out and puts it in her sports bag. She takes a particularly sharp stake and conceals it in her jacket sleeve. She closes the chest, zips the bag closed and goes over to her door to make sure her mother isn't nearby. Then she grabs the bag, slides it out of the window onto the roof and climbs out after it. Cut to the sun going down over a hill. Cut to the Bronze. The doorman is checking ID's. Cut inside to the upper level. Cordelia and her friends find a table. Cordelia: Senior boys are the only way to go. Guys from our grade, forget about it, they're children. Y'know? (they sit) Like Jesse. Did you see him last night, following me around like a little puppy dog. (they all giggle) You just wanna put him to sleep. But senior boys, hmm, they have mystery. They have... What's the word I'm searching for? Cars! I just am not the type to settle. Y'know? It's like when I go shopping. I have to have the most expensive thing. Not because it's expensive, but because it costs more. Girl: You know, I-- Cordelia: Hello, Miss Motormouth, can I get a sentence finished? Oh, I love this song! Come on! Cordelia and her gang make their way to the dance floor and start to move to the sound of "Wearing Me Down" by the Dashboard Prophets. Lyrics: You fight the good fight / You fight the good war / You fight to be right / You fight to restore / Why should I believe a word that you say / It was just a game that you don't wanna play / And I say / It's wearing me down, I realize / It's all in my head now, now, and I realize / It's not what you've done / As much as what you've said / As what you've said / As what you've said / As what you've said Jesse watches Cordelia from the side. He walks onto the dance floor. The song is over, and Cordelia stops dancing. She starts to leave, but Jesse is standing in front of her, fingers on his lips. Cordelia: Uh, what do you want? Another song, "Ballad For Dead Friends", starts. Jesse lowers his hand, takes hers and leads her back onto the dance floor. Cordelia: Hey! Hello! Caveman brain! What are you doing? Jesse: Shut up! He begins to dance with her. Cordelia: Well, just one dance. They dance close. Cut to outside where the doorman is counting money. Darla comes out of the shadows in a bouncy walk. She turns around and walks backward while other vampires come into the light behind her. She turns back again and approaches the doorman. They're all sporting their game faces. Lyrics: How are you feelin'? / Do you feel okay? / 'Cause I don't! ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ Outside the Bronze. The vampires head in. Doorman: Need ID. (looks up) Hey! Nobody gets inside until I get some sorta-- Luke: (growls in the doorman's face) Get inside. Cut inside. The vampires come in, pushing the doorman in with them. The last one shuts the door and stands guard. Lyrics: How are you feelin'? / Do you feel okay? / 'Cause I don't! One of the vampires makes his way to the upper level. Another one finds the main power switch and shuts it off. The people start complaining and wondering what happened. Luke gets up on the stage. Luke: Ladies and Gentlemen! There is no cause for alarm. Actually, there is cause for alarm. It just won't do any good. There are screams from the crowd as they see Luke's face. He laughs. Cordelia: I thought there wasn't any band tonight. She looks at Jesse next to her. He's got his game face on, and she inhales in fright. Luke: This is a glorious night! It is also the last one any of you shall ever see. Bring me the first. A vampire brings the doorman to Luke. Doorman: What do you guys want, man, huh? You want money? Man, what's wrong with your faces? Luke grabs him by the throat. He wraps his other arm around the doorman's head. Luke: Watch me, people. Fear is like an elixir. It's almost like blood. He bites the doorman and feeds on him. The doorman screams. Cut to the Master in his lair. He raises his head as he feels the first of the souls that will be taken for him. Cut to Luke. He drops the doorman's body. Luke: Next! Cut outside. The team arrives running. Buffy tries the door. Buffy: It's locked! Giles: We're too late! Buffy: Well I didn't know I was gonna get grounded! Xander: Can you break it down? Buffy: No, not that thing. Um... You guys try the back entrance, and I'll find my own way. Giles: Right. Come on. Buffy: Um, wait! Guys! Here! (hands Willow her bag) You get the exit cleared and the people out. That's all! Don't go Wild Bunch on me. Giles: Uh, see you inside, then. Giles, Xander and Willow run around to the back. Cut to the back. Willow tries the door. It's locked, too. Willow: No joy! Xander: We've gotta get in there before Jesse does something stupider than usual. Giles: You listen to me! Jesse is dead! You have to remember that when you see him, you're not looking at your friend. You're looking at the thing that killed him. Cut to the Master, testing his confines. Cut to Luke, feeding on a girl. Cut to the Master. Master: Almost free! Cut to Luke, still feeding on the girl. Cut to the Master. Master: Give me moooooore! Cut to Luke. He's finished with the girl and drops her body. Cut to Darla and Jesse. She wants to take Cordelia to Luke. Jesse: This one's mine! Darla: They're all for the Master. She pulls on Cordelia. Jesse lets go of her. Jesse: I don't get one? Cut to Buffy breaking an upper window and crawling in. Luke: I feel the Master's strength growing! Buffy sees Luke on the stage. Luke: I feel him rising. Every soul brings him closer! I need another! Buffy: (to herself) The Vessel. The vampire on the upper level sees Buffy and growls. She looks over at him. Luke: Tonight is his ascension. Tonight will be history at its end! Yours is a glorious sacrifice! Degradation most holy. (no one in the crowd stirs) What? No volunteers?! Darla: (brings him Cordelia) Here's a pretty one. Cordelia screams when she sees Luke up close. He caresses her face. He's about to bite her when Buffy kicks the vampire down from above them. Luke watches him land with a thud. Buffy approaches the railing. Buffy: Oh, I'm sorry, were you in the middle of something? Luke: You! Buffy: You didn't think I'd miss this. Did you? Luke: I hoped you'd come. Buffy: Be right down! She steps away from the railing and executes a roundoff to get down. She lands on a pool table. A vampire attacks from her right. Buffy does a front walkover off of the table, grabbing a pool cue on the way. When she lands she thrusts it into her attacker and lets go. He begins to fall and burst into ashes. Buffy: Okay, Vessel boy. (removes her jacket) You want blood? Luke: I want yours! (releases Cordelia) Only yours! Buffy: (shrugs) Works for me. She runs and cartwheels up onto the stage, and immediately launches into a full spinning hook kick. Luke staggers into a pile of chairs. Buffy assumes a fighting position. Luke gets up and growls. He comes at her and swings, but she ducks the punch and comes up behind him. He tries a backhand punch, but she blocks him, holds onto his arm and gives him three roundhouse kicks to his stomach before he shakes loose. She takes her stake and lunges at him. He blocks the lunge, knocking the stake from her grip. He lifts her up and throws her into a pile of boxes. Cut to the back of the Bronze. Giles, Willow and Xander break in. Giles: Hurry! Xander runs in to see what's going on. He sees Buffy is down. She gets up, so Xander turns his attention to the crowd. Xander: (in a low voice) C'mon! Let's go! C'mon! C'mon! C'mon! C'mon! Cut to the back. Giles guides the people to the back door. Giles: (whispers) Hurry up! Come on! Through this door! Come on! This way! Cut to the main room. Buffy spins around and lands a backhand punch on Luke's face, knocking him into another pile of stuff. He's dazed. Buffy turns to see a vampire grab Xander. She grabs a cymbal from a drum set and throws it at the vampire like a Frisbee. Xander sees it coming and ducks. The cymbal decapitates the vampire. Xander: Head's up! Buffy can't resist a chuckle. Luke grabs her from behind. Cut to Cordelia on the floor with Jesse above her. She struggles and he grabs her arms. Jesse: Hold still! You're not making this easy! Xander comes up behind him, stake in hand. Xander: Jesse, man! Don't make me do it. Jesse turns to look up at Xander. Jesse: Buddy! Cut to Buffy being held tightly from behind by Luke. Luke: I always wanted to kill a Slayer! Cut to the back where Giles and Willow are still guiding people out. Giles: One at a time! Quickly! Quickly! He crosses to the other side of the room in front of some stairs. Darla is standing on the steps above him. Giles: We're going to have to open the front as well! Darla leaps onto him from behind, knocking him to the floor. Cut to Xander and Jesse. Xander: Jesse! I know there's still a part of you in there. Jesse: (jumps up) Okay... Let's deal with this. Jesse was an excruciating loser who couldn't get a date with anyone in the sighted community! Look at me. I'm a new man! Cut to Buffy and Luke. Luke: Master! Taste of this... and be free! He roars and moves in to bite Buffy. She senses his proximity and snaps her head back to land a headbutt on his face, knocking him off of her and back to the wall. She turns to him, winded. Buffy: How'd it taste? Cut to Giles and Darla struggling on the floor. Willow approaches them while taking out a jar of holy water. Willow: Get off of him! Darla is distracted and looks up. Willow throws the holy water at her. It burns her face and steams. She gets up and runs from the club, screaming. Cut to Jesse and Xander. Jesse grabs Xander by the jacket and lifts him around against a wall. Xander has the stake pointed at Jesse's chest. Jesse: Ooo! Alright. Put me out of my misery. You don't have the guts. A fleeing patron bumps into Jesse, impaling him on the stake. Xander lets go of the stake, and Jesse begins to fall. He turns to ashes before he even hits the floor. Two vampires grab Xander. Cut to Buffy. She grabs a microphone stand and holds it like a javelin. Luke: You forget, metal can't hurt me. Buffy: There's something you forgot about, too. Sunrise! She throws the stand at the window behind Luke. He ducks, and it breaks the window behind him. A bright light pours in through it. Buffy spies the stake she dropped on the stage and picks it up. Luke gets up and shields his face with his hands, expecting to be burned. He stops when he realizes it's only a bright lamp. Buffy lunges at him from behind and jams the stake home. Buffy: It's in about nine hours, moron! Luke begins to stagger off of the stage. Cut to the Master. He's testing the strength of his confines. Cut to Luke. He continues to stagger. Cut to the Master. Still testing. Cut to Luke. He falls from the stage and explodes into ash. Cut to the Master. He feels Luke's death and falls to his knees. Master: Noooooooo! Noooooooo! Cut to Buffy. She stares at Luke's ashes. The two vampires still have Xander. She lifts her gaze to meet theirs. The vampires panic and run. Cut outside. The vampires run past Angel standing behind some crates stacked against a wall. He watches them run, then looks back the other way. Angel: She did it! I'll be damned! He walks away. Cut inside to the stage. Buffy hops down to the floor. Giles and Willow meet her. Giles: I take it it's over. Willow: Did we win? Buffy: Well, we averted the Apocalypse. I give us points for that. Xander: One thing's for sure: nothing's ever gonna be the same. Cut to Sunnydale High the next Monday. Everything appears normal. Buffy walks along and overhears Cordelia talking to a friend. Cordelia: Well, I heard it was rival gangs. You know, fighting for turf? But all I can tell you is they were an ugly way of looking. And Buffy, like, knew them! Which is just too weird. I mean, I don't even remember that much, but I'm telling you, it was a freak show! Girl: Oh, I wish I'd been there! Cordelia: You should have been there. It was so creepy... She and her friend walk off. Buffy meets Xander. Buffy: What exactly were you expecting? Xander: I don't know, something. I mean, the dead rose. We should at least have an assembly. They run into Giles and Willow, and the four of them continue to walk. Giles: People have a tendency to rationalize what they can and forget what they can't. Buffy: Believe me, I've seen it happen. Willow: Well, I'll never forget it, none of it. Giles: Good! Next time you'll be prepared. Xander: Next time? Willow: Next time is why? Giles: We've prevented the Master from freeing himself and opening the Mouth of Hell. That's not to say he's going to stop trying. I'd say the fun is just beginning. Willow: More vampires? They stop walking. Giles: Not just vampires. The next threat we face may be something quite different. Buffy: I can hardly wait! Giles: We're at the center of a mystical convergence here. We may, in fact, stand between the Earth and its total destruction. Buffy: Well, I gotta look on the bright side. Maybe I can still get kicked out of school! The three students continue to class. Giles stays behind and watches them go. Xander: Oh, yeah, that's a plan. 'Cause lots of schools aren't on Hellmouths. Willow: Maybe you could blow something up. They're really strict about that. Buffy: I was thinking of a more subtle approach, y'know, like excessive not studying. Giles turns to go back to his library. Giles: The Earth is doomed! The Witch Written by: Dana Reston Directed by: Stephen Cragg Transcribed by: AleXander Thompson Copyright © 1997 Alexander Thompson ~~~~~~~~~~ Prologue ~~~~~~~~~~ In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. Sunnydale High School. Cut to the library. Giles: (upset) This is madness! What can you have been thinking? You are the Slayer! Lives depend upon you! (begins pacing) I make allowances for your youth, but I expect a certain amount of responsibility, and instead of which you enslave yourself to this, this... (stops pacing) Cult? Buffy: (wearing a cheerleader outfit) You don't like the color? Giles: I d... (exasperated) Do you, um... (puts some books on a cart) Do you ignore everything I say as a, as a rule? Buffy: No, I believe that's your trick. Giles pushes the cart to the counter. Buffy skips in front of him and poses. Buffy: I told you, I'm trying out for the cheerleading squad! Giles: You have a sacred birthright, Buffy. You were chosen to destroy vampires, not to... wave pompoms at people. And as the Watcher I forbid it. (goes back to the table) Buffy: And you'll be stopping me how? Giles: Well, I... (sits on the edge of the table and crosses his arms) By appealing to your common sense, if such a creature exists. Buffy: I will still have time to fight the forces of evil, okay? I just wanna have a life, I wanna do something normal. Something safe. Cut to the witch's attic. The camera moves through the dark space. There are flowers and herbs hanging upside down from the rafters to dry and personal items with identification tags. The witch moves around in the darkness. The camera follows her to the cauldron. She waves a pendant on a chain over the brew, then pulls it back. She goes over to a rack and yanks off a doll hanging there by its neck on a wire. Cut to the gym. Cheerleader tryouts are about to start. Girls are stretching and practicing, doing back handsprings, cartwheels and walking handstands. One girl does a roundoff followed by a back handspring. Buffy, Willow and Xander come through the door. Willow: Giles didn't approve, huh? Buffy: He totally lost his water. We haven't seen a vampire in over a week. I'd say he should get a girlfriend if he wasn't so old. Willow: Well, we're behind you. Xander: People scoff at things like school spirit, but look at these girls giving their all like this! He notices Amber doing the splits between two chairs. Xander: Ooo, stretchy! Where was I? Willow: You were pretending that seeing scantily clad girls in revealing postures was a spiritual experience. Xander: Who said I was pretending? (to Buffy) Oh, hey! Here's a good luck thing for tryouts. (hands her a bracelet) Buffy: What's this? Willow: What's that? Buffy: Oh, how sweet! (reads the inscription) 'Yours Always.' Xander: I-i-it came that way, really, they all said that! Willow: (exhales) Cordelia: (approaches them) Just look at that Amber. Who does she think she is, a Laker Girl? Willow: I heard she turned them down. Joy, the cheerleading squad leader, steps up with her clipboard and calls for everyone's attention. Joy: Okay, listen up! Let's begin with (checks her clipboard) Amber Grove. If you're not auditioning, move off the floor. Willow: (to Amy) Amy! Hi! Amy: (comes over) Hi! Willow: I didn't know you wanted to be a cheerleader! You lost a lot of weight. Amy: Had to. Willow: Do you know Buffy? Amy: Hi. Buffy: Hi. Amy: Oh, how I hate this, let me count the ways. Amber begins her routine. It's very athletic. She starts off with a needle-split lift followed by a double spin and a jumping double spin. After landing, Amber launches herself into an aerial and a cartwheel. Jazz slides are then followed by a single spin. Everyone in the gym is intent on watching her. Amy: (to Buffy) She trained with Benson. He's one of the best coaches money can buy. Buffy: They have cheerleading coaches? Amy: Oh, yeah! Don't you have? I train with my mom, three hours in the morning, three at night. Buffy: Hmm, that much quality time with my mom would probably lead to some quality matricide. Amy: Oh, I know it's hokey. But she's really great. Cordelia turns her back to Amber with a look of contempt on her face. Cordelia: Hmm! Buffy and Xander watch Amber in amazement. Amy and Willow are impressed, too. Amber's hands begin to smoke. Buffy: What the...? Willow: That girl's on fire! Cordelia: (facing away, not seeing the smoke) Enough of the hyperbole! Amber's hands catch fire. She drops her pompoms and screams. Buffy reacts. Amber flails her hands in the air. Buffy jumps up onto the stands and pulls down a banner. She runs back to Amber, knocks her down and snuffs out the flames with the banner. Everyone stares in shock. Buffy: (trying to comfort Amber) It's okay, it's okay, you're gonna be... okay. (to herself) God! Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ The library. Buffy is pacing. Willow and Xander are sitting at the study table. Buffy: I've been slaying vampires for more than a year now, and I have seen some pretty cringeworthy things, but... nobody's hands ever got toasted before. Giles: (comes out of the cage) I imagine not. Buffy: So, this isn't a vampire problem. Giles: No. Buffy: (turns to Giles) But it is funky, right? Not of the norm? Giles: Quite. Spontaneous human combustion is, is rare, and, and scientifically unexplainable, but there have been cases for hundreds of years. Usually all that's left is a pile of ashes. Willow: That's all that would have been left if it hadn't been for Buffy. Xander: So, we have no idea what caused this. That's a comfort. Giles: But that's the thrill of living on the Hellmouth! (sits on the edge of the table) There's a veritable cornucopia of, of fiends and devils and, and ghouls to engage. (everyone looks at him) Pardon me for finding the glass half full. Buffy: Any common denominators in cases of spontaneous combustion? Giles: Uh, rage. In most cases the person who combusted was, was terribly angry or, or upset. Xander: So maybe Amber's got this power to make herself be on fire. It's like the human torch, only it hurts. Buffy: I need to get the skinny on Amber. Find out if she's had any colorful episodes before. (starts to go) Willow: That means hacking illegally into the school's computer system. At last, something *I* can do! She and Xander get up and go over to Buffy. Xander: I'll ask around about her. Buffy: You guys don't have to get involved. Xander: What d'ya mean? We're a team! Aren't we a team? Willow: Yeah! You're the Slayer, and we're, like, the Slayerettes! Buffy: I just don't like putting you guys in danger. Xander: Oh, huh, I laugh in the face of danger. Then I hide until it goes away. Buffy: Okay, just walk softly, at least until we know a little more. I mean, what if Amber isn't causing these problems herself? Giles: Well, then we have to determine who or what did, and, uh, deal with it accordingly. Cut to the kitchen at the Summers house. There are several wooden boxes and crates. Joyce is trying to pry one open with a crowbar. Buffy comes in. Buffy: Hey! Joyce: Hi, how was school? Buffy: Mm, a reverent joy. What's all this? Joyce: It's for the tribal art display. Buffy: Cool! (examines a piece) We had tryouts today. Joyce: Oh, great! How'd it go? (exhales) Buffy: I didn't actually get to try out. There was an accident. Pretty fierce competition, though. Joyce: Oh, I know you'll do fine. Keep on pluggin', just have to get back on the horse. Buffy: Mom? Joyce: Yeah? Buffy: What was I trying out for? Joyce: Oh, uh... (stops prying at the crate and looks at Buffy) Some activity? I have no idea, I'm sorry. Buffy: That's okay. Your platitudes are good for all occasions. Joyce: (exhales) I'm distracted. (starts prying again and exhales) Got a lotta inventory to go through here. (exhales) This is my Gallery's first major show. (exhales and gives up) You know, it might not physically kill you to give me a hand here. (goes to check her clipboard) Buffy grabs the lid of the crate and effortlessly tears it off. Buffy: It was cheerleading. Joyce: Oh good! I'm glad you're taking that up again, it'll keep you out of trouble. Buffy: I'm not *in* trouble. Joyce: No, not yet. Buffy is hurt. Her mother looks up from her clipboard and notices. Joyce: I mean, you stopped cheerleading just before the trouble, so it's good you're going back. She goes back to the crate and partially lifts out a statue. Joyce: Oh, dear. Buffy: What? Joyce: The fertility statue, you don't need to see it. She replaces the crate's lid and goes back to her clipboard. Buffy: Y'know, there's this girl, Amy, and, um, she trains with her mom, like, three hours a day. Joyce: Uh-huh. Buffy: Sounds like her mom's pretty into it. Joyce: Sounds like her mom doesn't have a lot to do. She walks out of the kitchen with a piece of art. Buffy lifts the crate's lid a little bit and looks in. Buffy: Jeepers! Cut to the gym the next day. Tryouts have resumed. Joy: (pacing) Despite the terrible thing that happened yesterday we still have to pick new cheerleaders. If you make the team you'll find your names posted in the quad after lunch. Let's begin with group performance. Amy: (to Buffy) Why do my hands have to sweat when I get nervous? Buffy: (to Amy) Don't worry. You'll do great. Joy: (loudly) Five, six, seven, eight! All: Sunnydale! Sunnydale! We never fail! We never fail! Jump and Shoot! Swish and score! The other team is such a bore! Yeah! Amy blows the cartwheel and crashes into Cordelia. Cordelia yelps as she falls and then quickly gets up. Cordelia: You saw that, right? That wasn't me! You saw that, right? (looks at Amy and back again) Right? Cut to the halls. Amy is admiring the trophies in the case with a longing look. Buffy comes up next to her. Amy notices her, smiles and points to a picture in the case. Amy: That's my mom! Buffy: No! (reads the inscription) Catherine Madison. Get down with your bad self! Amy: Her nickname was 'Catherine the Great'. She took that team and made them tri-county champions. Y'know, no one's ever done that before, or since. She and my dad were Homecoming King and Queen. They got married right after graduation. Buffy: That's kinda romantic. Amy: Well, he was a big loser. Never made any money. Ran off with Miss Trailer Trash when I was twelve. Buffy: Okay, that part's less romantic. My folks split up, too. Amy: Drag, huh? Uh, he left my mom with nothing. She put herself through cosmetology school. (smiles) Bought me everything I ever wanted. (shakes her head) And never once gained a single pound. Buffy: (walks around to face Amy) Uh, she sounds really great, Amy, but, um... it doesn't mean that you need to lock step as far as this cheerleading thing. Amy: She was the best! And I can't get my body to *move* like hers! I choked in there so bad! Buffy: No, Amy, you did fine. Amy: (dejected) I'm gonna get changed. Buffy: Wait! No... Willow: (walking by) Hey, Amy! (comes over to Buffy) Is she okay? Buffy: No, she's, she's wiggin' about her mom, big cheer queen back when. Willow: Yeah, her mom's kinda... Buffy: ...Nazi like? Willow: Heil. If she gains an ounce she padlocks the fridge and won't eat anything but broth. Buffy: So, mommy dearest is really... Mommy Dearest? Willow: There's a bitter streak. But Amy's nice. We used to hang in Junior High. When her mom would go on a broth kick, Amy'd come over to my house and we'd stuff ourselves with brownies! They start down the hall. Buffy: Hey, any word on Amber? Willow: Nothing thrilling. Average student. Got detention once, for smoking. Regular smoking... with a cigarette, not, like, being smoky. Buffy: Hmm. Willow: All pretty normal. Buffy: So we just have to wait and we'll see what happens. Maybe nothing will. Cut to the girls' locker room. The camera shows the showers dripping. Cut to a row of lockers. The camera follows them around a corner to Amy alone at her locker. She hears a noise and turns to look. Nothing. The showers keep dripping. Amy closes her locker and starts to go, but is surprised by Cordelia. Cordelia: I have a dream. It's me on the cheerleading squad, adored by every varsity male as far as the eye can see! We have to achieve our dreams, Amy. Otherwise we... wither and die! Amy: Look, I'm sorry about... Cordelia: (cuts Amy off) Shhh! If your supreme klutziness out there today takes me out of the running, you're gonna be so *very* beyond sorry! (smiles) Have a nice day. Cordelia turns and leaves. She throws her scrunchie into an open locker and slams the door as she rounds the corner, but it doesn't stay shut. Amy leans against her locker, apparently shaken. Cut outside. Willow and Xander are walking along the colonnade. Willow: I told Buffy about Amber. Xander: Cool! Was she wearin' it? The bracelet, she was wearin' it, right? Pretty much like we're goin' out. Willow: Except without the hugging or kissing or her knowing about it. Xander: So I'm just a figure of fun. (exhales) I should ask her out, right? Willow: You won't know till you ask. Xander: That's why you're so cool! You're like a guy! You're my guy friend that knows about girl stuff! Willow: Oh, great. I'm a guy. Xander: Oh, hey, they're posting the list! He runs off to check the list of names for the cheerleading squad. Cut to the crowd in front of the bulletin board. Buffy and Amy are at the back. A girl rushes away in tears because her name is not on the list. Amy: I can't take this. Joy steps away from posting the list on the bulletin board. Lishanne sees her name on the list. Lishanne: Yes! Xander comes up behind Buffy and Amy. Xander: Cover me, I'm goin' in. He pushes his way through the crowd and looks at the list. Cordelia comes out of the crowd. Cordelia: (to Amy) You're lucky! Amy: I made it? Cordelia: *I* made it! Xander comes back out of the crowd and gets hit on the way. Xander: One of those girls hit me really hard! You should test for steroids. Okay, not only did you make the team, but you, Miss Summers, are the first alternate, and Amy's number three. Amy looks at Buffy, badly disappointed, and leaves. Xander: And what a better way to celebrate than with a romantic drive through... Willow: Xander, alternates are the ones who didn't make the team, they only fill in if something happens to the ones who did. Buffy: Excuse me. (goes to console Amy) Xander: (downtroden) For I am Xander, King of Cretins. May all lesser cretins bow before me. Buffy: (catches up with Amy) At least it's over. And you know what I think we should do about it? Brownie pig-out, my house, after school. Amy: It's just how many more hours a day can I practice? Y'know, how much more can I do? This would never happen to my mother. Never. She walks off. Buffy stares after her. Cut to Amy's house. The camera closes in on the brickwork outside of the attic. Cut inside the attic. The camera pans from the wall across a bunch of tagged personal items that she's taken from people. Cut to the cauldron. Amy stirs the pot. Amy: Give me the power. Give me the dark. She goes to get another doll from her rack. Amy: I call on you, the laughing gods. She yanks one of the dolls off of the rack. Amy: Let your blackness crawl beneath my skin. She wraps Cordelia's scrunchie around the doll's head. Amy: Accept thy sacrifice... of Cordelia. Feed on her. She drops the doll into the brew. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ The Summers kitchen. The toaster pops up, and Buffy pulls out a freshly toasted half of a bagel. She takes it to the island in the middle of the kitchen for more preparation. Her mother comes in. Joyce: Look what I found. It's my yearbook from junior year. (finds herself) Oh, look! There I am. She puts the book down on the island and goes to get a cup of coffee. Buffy looks at the picture. Buffy: Mom, I've accepted that you've had sex. I am not ready to know that you had Farrah hair. Joyce: This is Gidget hair. Don't they teach you anything in history? Buffy: Well, it's really cool, but I gotta book. Joyce: Well, I was thinking. I know the cheerleading thing didn't work out... Maybe you should think about joining the yearbook staff. I did, it was a lot of fun. Buffy: Not really my tip, mom. (opens the refrigerator) Joyce: I was, uh, photo editor. I got to be on every page, made me look much more popular than I was. Buffy: And have you seen the kids that do yearbook? Nerds pick on them. (walks to her bag) Joyce: (insulted) Some of the best times I had in school were working on the yearbook! Buffy: (faces her mom) Oh, this just in: I'm not you! I'm into my own thing. Joyce: Your own thing, whatever it is, got you kicked out of school, and we had to move here to find a decent school that would take you! Buffy is hurt. She takes her bag and starts to go. Joyce: Honey, uhhh... (Buffy leaves) (disgusted with herself) Uhhh! Great parenting form! Little shaky on the dismount. Cut to the hall at school. Cordelia walks past Willow and Xander in a daze. Xander: Cordelia, you haven't been mean to me all day. Is it something I've done? (to Willow) Okay, see how she has no clue that I'm even a mammal, much less a human being? Willow: (takes the pen from her mouth) I see that. Xander: This is the invisible man syndrome. A blessing in Cordelia's case. A curse in Buffy's. Willow: (closes her locker) You're not invisible to Buffy. She chews on her pen some more as they start to walk down the hall. Xander: It's worse! I'm just like a part of the scenery, like an old shoe. Or a rug that you walk on every day but don't even really see it. Willow: (takes her pen out of her mouth) Like a pen that's all chewed up, and you know you should throw it away, but you don't, not 'cause you like it so much, more 'cause you're just used to... Xander: Will, yeah, that is the point, you don't have to drive it through my head like a railroad spike. I'm gonna take your advice and not beat around the bush. Willow: Or I could be wrong! Maybe you should beat around the bush more. Xander: Nah, I gotta be a man and ask her out. Y'know, I gotta stop giving her ID bracelets, uh, subtle innuendoes, taking Polaroids outside of her bedroom window late at night, that last part is a joke to relieve the tension because here she comes. Buffy comes out of a classroom and walks toward them. Xander: Okay, into battle I go. (quickly turns to Willow) Would you ask her out for me? He grabs her by the shoulders, startling her. Buffy sees Cordelia trying to work the combination on a locker. Xander pulls himself together. Xander: No. Man. (lets go of Willow) Me battle. (to Buffy) Buffy! Would you like to, uh... Buffy: (reaches Willow and Xander) Is that even Cordelia's locker? They see Cordelia give up and continue down the hall. Xander: Huh? Oh, I don't know. What I'm saying is accompany me Friday night... Buffy: (watching Cordelia go and cutting him off) Xander, I have to, um... (faces him) We can make this up later. You don't mind, do you? She gives him her book and follows Cordelia. Xander whistles the sound of a bomb falling and exploding. Willow looks at him and continues chewing on her pen. Cut outside. Buffy comes out of the hall and looks around for Cordelia. She sees her and starts to follow. Cut to Mr. Pole, the Driver's Ed. Teacher. He's waiting impatiently for Cordelia. He turns and sees her coming. Mr. Pole: Nice of you to join us, Cordelia. We didn't keep you waiting or anything, did we? It's your turn to drive. (to the others) Okay, people, let's buckle up. Cordelia: (goes around the front of the car) I don't wanna drive today, Mr. Pole. Mr. Pole: You've flunked Driver's Ed. twice already. Show me some moves, or you'll be taking the bus to college. He gets into the car. Cordelia gets in last. Buffy watches from behind a school bus. Mr. Pole: Okay. Check the brake. Check the mirror. Start the engine. Cordelia turns the key and the engine starts, but she seems out of it. Mr. Pole: Hello? Put the car in drive. Cordelia struggles with the shifting lever. Mr. Pole: Let's move forward through the cones with a gentle even turn to the... The car takes off backward, crashes into some signs and stops. Cordelia gets it in drive, and the car races forward, burning rubber. Mr. Pole: Slow down. Slow, slow, turn right! Turn right! Cordelia loses control as the car races along the course, knocking down cones and signs. Buffy begins running after them. Mr. Pole: Brakes! Brakes! The car crashes through a fence and bushes and careens out onto the street, where it comes to a sudden halt. Another car just manages to swerve around them. Mr. Pole: Everybody out! They all get out. Cordelia is in a daze, and she walks into the middle of the street. A delivery van is coming the other way, but it doesn't slow down. Buffy comes running. Cordelia turns to see the van coming and screams. Buffy leaps over the Driver's Ed. car and grabs Cordelia, pulling her down and out of the way. The van takes out the open car door as Buffy and Cordelia roll to a stop. Cordelia: Oh, my God, I, I can't see anything! Buffy: It's, it's okay, it's... (sees Cordelia's eyes) Oh God! Cordelia: What's happening? I can't see anything! Her eyes no longer have irises and are completely white. Cut to the library. The team is sitting at the table. Giles: Witchcraft. Blinding your enemy to disorient and disable them is, it's classic! Xander: First vampires, now witches. No wonder you can still afford a house in Sunnydale. Giles: Why should someone want to harm Cordelia? Willow: Maybe because they met her? Did I say that? Giles: And setting Amber ablaze? Xander: Yeah, those guys don't hang... Buffy: They're both cheerleaders. Giles: Someone doesn't like cheerleading. Buffy: Or likes it too much. Willow: Amy! Buffy: Amy! Xander: So, you guys are leaning towards Amy? Buffy: She's desperate to get on that team, and I've got this feeling she'd do just about anything to make her mom's dream come true. Giles: Uh, let me make sure I have this right. This witch is casting horrible and disfiguring spells so that she can become a cheerleader? Buffy: I think you're underestimating the amount of pressure a parent can lay on you. If you're not a picture perfect carbon copy they tend to wig. Willow: Cheerleading was kind of her mom's last hurrah. Xander: Look, we still have to stop Amy. We should grab her and... Giles: (interrupts) I think we should be sure she's the witch before we arouse her suspicions. She's, she's capable of some fairly unpleasant things. Buffy: Okay, alright, (gets up) so, you're in high school, you are desperate to make the team and please your mom, so you turn to witchcraft. What's the first thing you're gonna do? Willow: Check out the books on witchcraft! She and Buffy go over to the computer to access the on-line library card catalog. Xander: Uh, no! No, that would be the *last* thing you would do! You don't wanna leave a paper trail. Forget that! Willow: It'll just take a minute. Xander gets up and stands behind them. Xander: We don't have a minute! Cheerleaders are in danger. Buffy's in danger. (to Buffy) You were the first alternate, you are on the team now that Cordelia's out. You could be next. We gotta get you to a safe house. Willow: Xander... Xander: Yeah. Willow: (exhales and reads the monitor) 'Witches: Historic Roots to Modern Practice.' Checked out by Alexander Harris. Buffy: (reads also) 'The Pagan Rites', checked out by Alexander... Xander: Alright, alright, it's not what you think. Willow: You like to look at the semi-nude engravings? Xander: Oh, well, uh, I-I guess it *is* what you think. Giles: Have you all quite finished? We have to find a conclusive test. There may be something in here... (pages through a book) Yes, this should do it. You'll need some of her hair, a little quicksilver and some aqua fortis. Willow: Well, that's just mercury and nitric acid. You can get that in the science lab. Giles: (reads) 'Heat ingredients and apply to witch, and if a spell has been cast in the previous 48 hours, witch's skin turns blue.' Hmm. (shuts the book) Oh, and you'll need some Eye of Newt. Cut to science class. The camera shows Dr. Gregory holding a frog as reflected in a mirror propped up on a stick above him. It pans down to show him holding the frog up for the class to see. Dr. Gregory: Those of you in track one may begin your dissections... now. He indicates where the students should cut their frogs. Cut to Xander trying to take his frog's eye out with tweezers. Dr. Gregory: Those of you in track two (cut to him) take your hydrochloric acid and your ammonium hydroxide and carefully pour them into your beakers. He begins to pour. Cut to Xander still struggling with the frog's eye. Dr. Gregory: Now slow, slow... Xander: I can't. Willow grabs the frog and takes out its eye. Dr. Gregory: ...capping one, I'm being safe. And you get... Willow: (drops the eye into the beaker) Eye of Newt! Cut to Dr. Gregory. The ingredients in the beaker react and begin to bubble and smoke. Dr. Gregory: ...that. Cut to Xander. Xander: How's Buffy doing with the hair? They look toward Buffy. Cut to Lishanne at another lab table. Lishanne: (to Buffy) Isn't this exciting! Buffy: Oh, yeah! (to Amy) Amy, help me. Um, which is the hydrochloric acid and which is the, uh, ammonium hydroxide? Amy: Well, the bottle that says 'hydrochloric acid' is usually the hydrochloric acid. Buffy: Read the bottles. Good concept! (laughs nervously and drops her pencil) Oops. She crouches down to pick up the pencil. She reaches into Amy's bag and pulls some hair off of her brush. She gets up and tries to pretend nothing happened. She glances at Amy to gauge her reaction. Amy smiles back weakly. She noticed but pretends she didn't. Buffy waves her pencil and smiles back. She heads back to her lab table with an expression of relief at having avoided a close call. She puts the hair on Willow's bench as she walks by. Willow picks up the hair and mixes it into the concoction. Amy looks back at them to see what they're doing. Willow and Xander look back nervously. Xander: (in a low voice) Wave 'Hi' to the nice little witch! Amy overhears and gives them another quick look. Willow takes the beaker and pours some of the liquid into a test-tube. Willow: All set. (hands the tube to Buffy) Do you have a plan? Buffy: Spill it on her. Try 'n' make it look natural. Xander: We're right behind you, only... further back. Buffy slowly makes her way over to Amy. Dr. Gregory: Lishanne, can you tell me why these chemicals have this reaction? Buffy pours some of the mixture onto Amy's arm and feigns an accident, drawing in her breath. She sees the liquid turn blue on contact. Dr. Gregory: Lishanne? Amy apparently didn't notice the spill. She's looking over at Lishanne. Dr. Gregory: Are you... Oh, my God! Buffy looks over at Lishanne now, too, and sees her shaking her head violently. She turns to the camera, and everyone sees that she no longer has a mouth. Buffy stares in amazement. She looks back at Amy, who looks amazed, too. Willow and Xander are also stunned. Cut to the halls. Buffy, Willow and Xander are discussing the result of their experiment. Xander: Did you see? Amy was as freaked out as the rest of us. Willow: So it's not her? Buffy: The test was positive! She's our Sabrina. I just don't think she realizes what she's doing. Willow: Well, should we talk to her? Buffy: Maybe we should talk to her mother. I wonder if *she* knows what she's created. Cut to Amy's house. She walks through the gate with determination. The gate has a gargoyle face on it. Cut inside the house. She comes in and looks around for her mother. Amy: Where are you? Cut to Catherine. She quickly turns off the TV and gets up. Amy sees her. Amy: Another productive day in front of the TV? Catherine just looks back. Amy: I got a history report due tomorrow. (drops her bag) Write it! Catherine can only keep looking and exhales. Amy: (considers) I should be on that team by now. But instead Miss *Buffy* and friends are sneaking around stealing bits of my hair. Catherine shakes her head. Amy opens her hand, and out drops Buffy's bracelet. Amy: I'll be upstairs. Catherine watches her go. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ The next morning in Buffy's room. It's a bit of a mess. The camera pans through it and stops on Buffy still sleeping. The alarm clock goes off. She slaps it with her hand hard enough to smash it with her strength. Buffy: Oh! Oops! Oh... (sits up) Mm... Cut to the kitchen. Joyce is making fresh-squeezed orange juice. Buffy comes dancing in singing and wearing her cheerleader outfit. Buffy: Macho, macho, man! I want to be a macho man. Macho... Oh, hey, juice! (grabs the glass and drinks) Mm... Quality juice. Not from concentrate! Joyce: (glances at Buffy) You're in a good mood. Buffy: I am! I'm on the squad, which is great, 'cause I feel like cheering and leading others to cheer. Ooo, hey, juice! Buffy takes the second glass and drinks again. Joyce: Listen, honey, about yesterday, I really... Buffy: Mm! That is totally yester. Besides, it's not like you were wrong, y'know. I did get kicked outta school. I'm just wacky that way! Joyce: Still, I just want you to know that, despite the problems you've had, I really... Buffy: (cuts her off) Mom, you just don't get it. And, believe me, you don't want it. Y'know, there are just some things about being a Vampire Slayer that the older generation... Joyce: A what? Buffy: It's a... long story. Joyce: Buffy, are you feeling well? Buffy: What? Oh, I'm, I'm fine, y'know? What, like, I can't be in a good mood? Is it, like, a new house rule? Fine, y'know? It's just fine, fine, fine, 'cause... (sings) I'm a macho, macho man! I want to be a macho man! (bobs her head) Macho, macho man! (leaves the kitchen) I want to be a macho man! Cut to the gym for cheerleading practice. Buffy is positioned next to Joy in the lineup. Joy: (loudly) Five, six, seven, eight! The cheerleaders begin practicing a routine. Buffy: Turn up the music! The routine continues until Buffy accidentally stomps on Joy's foot. Joy: (yells) Ow! Get it together Buffy! We have a game in less than four hours! Xander and Willow come in. Buffy: (jumping gleefully) Willow! Xander! My buds are here! I love my buds! Hi! (notices everyone staring) Hi... Oh... She gets back in line, and the routine continues. Xander: (to Willow) Is it me, or is Buffy a bit looped? Willow casts a worried gaze. The cheerleaders continue with a series of assisted cartwheels. Willow: We better get her outta there. Xander: Yeah, before she... Buffy overthrows Joy's aerial, sending her crashing into the gym wall. Xander: ...hurts someone. Ay... Joy gets up as Buffy comes running over. Buffy: Did I do that? Joy: (pushes Buffy) You are *so* out of here! Willow and Xander come running up and each grab one of Buffy's arms. Willow: It's not her fault! Xander: She's on medication. Buffy: (to Xander) What? Joy: Well, obviously not enough. Who's our next alternate? (sees Amy behind her) Oh. Amy, you just made cheerleader. Buffy: No, no, no. You don't want her, she's a wi... Xander quickly puts his hand over Buffy's mouth. Xander: A wise choice indeed! He and Willow pull Buffy away, nodding and casting nervous smiles at Amy and Joy. Amy stares after them. Cut to the hall outside the gym. Willow and Xander are supporting Buffy between them as they come down the hall. Buffy: She's a witchy! Willow: Buffy... Buffy: I just got kicked off the team, didn't I? Xander: I don't think it was your fault. Buffy: Hmm, I know you don't, that's 'cause you're my friend. You're my Xander-shaped friend! (leans her head on his shoulder) Do you have any idea why I love you so, Xander? Willow: We gotta to get her to a... Xander: (stops Willow with a gesture) Let her speak! Buffy: I'll tell you! You're not like other boys at all. Xander: Well... Buffy: You are totally, and completely one of the girls! (to Willow) I'm that comfy with him. Willow smiles widely. Xander: That's great. Buffy: Any other guy who'd give me a bracelet, they'd... wanna date me, and be like a... She begins to feel woozy. Buffy: Oh! I, I don't feel so good. Willow: Buffy? Buffy collapses into their arms. Cut to the library. Buffy is lying back in a chair with a wet cloth on her forehead. Willow supports her head and keeps the cloth in place with her hand. Willow: We've gotta get her to a hospital! Giles: They can't help her. This is a bloodstone vengeance spell. (takes her pulse) Hits the body hard like a, a quart of alcohol, and then it e-eradicates the, uh, immune system. Xander: A vengeance spell, like she's trying to get even with Buffy? Buffy: 'Cause she knows I know she's a witch. Giles: The others she just wanted out of the running. You she intends to, um... Buffy: Kill? Willow: How much time do we have? Giles: Oh, uh, I'm sure, uh... Buffy: Truth. Please. Giles: Couple of hours... Three at most. Xander: Well, how do we reverse the spell? Giles: (gets up) Well I, I've been researching that, and, uh, we can reverse all the spells if, um... (takes off his glasses and rubs his eyes) ...we can just lay our hands on, on Amy's spell book. Willow: And if we can't get a hold of it? Giles: Well, the other way is to cut the witch's head off. (puts his glasses back on) Xander: Show of hands! (raises his hand) Buffy: It's not Amy's fault. She only became a witch to survive her mother. Xander: (to Buffy) Look, I don't care why, I just care that you go on breathing. Buffy: Giles, where would she be casting these spells? Giles: Oh, she needs a, a sacred space. A-a-a pentagram, um, large pot. Buffy: Her home. Okay. Help me up. Xander and Willow help her up. Buffy: We'll just go to her house and we'll get her book. Willow: Okay, we'll go with you. Buffy: Uh, no! You guys stay here and keep an eye on Amy. Giles: (takes Buffy from them) And keep her away from the science lab. We'll need it to cast our counter-spells. He and Buffy go. Willow and Xander exchange worried looks. Xander exhales. Cut to Giles' old car pulling up to Amy's house. Cut inside. Catherine has a plate of brownies on her lap and takes a bite out of one. Giles knocks on the door. She looks up, startled. Giles knocks some more. Buffy looks very tired and out of it. Catherine slides the plate under the coffee table and gets up. Giles knocks again. Catherine opens the door. Catherine: Who are you? Wha, um, uh, is there something wrong? Giles: Mrs. Madison, we need to talk to you about your daughter. Catherine: I'm not allow... You'll have to come back later. She tries to close the door, but Giles prevents her and pushes his way in. Giles: Excuse me! Catherine: What?! Giles: (turns to help Buffy) You alright? (looks for a place to sit her down) Um, in here. (leads Buffy into the living room) (to Catherine) Your daughter is meddling with something very dangerous, are you aware of that? (sits Buffy on the couch) Catherine: Uh, I don't know what you're talking about. Giles: Oh, I think you know only too well. Catherine: You've got to go. She's gonna be home soon, and you... Giles: (interrupts, indicating Buffy) This girl is very sick. (very angrily) Now you will shut up and you will listen to me! Your daughter has access to some very powerful magicks, and somehow your obsession with cheerleading has made... Catherine: (interrupts, incredulous) I don't care about cheerleading! It's not my fault she's doing stuff. Buffy sees the brownies and begins to realize who Catherine really is. Giles: As her mother you should assume some responsibility for her actions. Catherine: (laughs) Well, you know, these kids today! I... (calms down a bit) She's out of her mind. Ever since dad, her dad... left I can't control her. Buffy slowly gets up. Giles: You're afraid of her? Buffy: Amy? Catherine looks at Buffy and realizes she's been found out. Giles looks at Buffy, still puzzled. Buffy: Are you Amy? Giles: (looks back at Catherine) I don't understand. Buffy: She switched! She switched your bodies, didn't she? Catherine looks down, defeated. Giles: (the truth dawns on him) Good Lord! Buffy: She wanted to relive her glory days. Catherine: (looks back up) She said I was wasting my youth. So she took it. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ The living room at Amy's house. The camera pans to them sitting on the couch. Catherine: (distraught) I didn't know anything about her powers. I mean, when dad was here they would fight and yell and he would... call her a witch and... I mean, I would, just thought he meant... Oh, God, when he left I wanted to go with him. But she wouldn't even let me call. She went crazy, I mean, she'd lock herself upstairs for days, and she was always coming down on me, telling me I didn't deserve to have it so easy, and that I didn't know... how hard it was to be her, and... I guess she showed me, huh? Buffy: (takes her hand) Amy, it's gonna be okay. Catherine: A few months ago, I woke up in h... her bed! I didn't know where I was, and... then I looked in the mirror... Giles: She locked herself upstairs? Catherine: Yes. Giles: Where? Cut to the attic. Giles breaks in the door, comes in and starts to look around. Catherine comes in after him. Catherine: (tries to stop him) Don't! If she finds out I've been here she'll kill me! Giles walks around the cauldron to the rack with the hanging dolls. He sees the two dolls bound together for the body-switching spell and takes them in his hand. Giles: My God! (exhales) I believe we can reverse your mother's spell. Well, all of them, in fact. (lets go of the dolls) Catherine: You could? Really, you could? Giles: We need to find her books. There'd be specific volumes she'd need for this kind of casting. He begins to look around some more. He finds a trunk and knocks off the things on top. Giles: Collect those dolls, and, uh, any other personal effects... As he starts to open the trunk, a black cat jumps at him and surprises him. Giles: Ah! Nice kitty... (calms down) Let's see what you were guarding. (opens the trunk) Ah, yes! (takes out a book) This is it. Cut to Giles and Catherine coming back down the stairs and going into the living room. Buffy: Did we find? Giles: We found. Come on. He helps Buffy up from the couch. She's gotten weaker. Catherine: But where are you going? Giles: We're going to school. He realizes Buffy is too weak to walk and picks her up in his arms. Giles: And you're coming with us. Cut to the gym. The Sunnydale High basketball team comes through the doors and runs onto the court. The camera pans across the court, then back and across the cheerleaders, stopping on Amy. Amy's clearly very happy to be there. Cut to Xander and Willow in the stands, watching Amy. Cut to the science classroom. Giles carries Buffy in and lays her down on a lab table, knocking everything off of it in the process. He takes off his coat. Giles: (to Buffy) I'm gonna stop this. I promise. Buffy looks up at him. He folds his coat and puts it under her head as a pillow. Her vision is blurred. Giles: You just hang on. Buffy moans. Giles goes to the box of books and other things Catherine has set on Dr. Gregory's bench and reaches in to get Amy's spell book. Catherine: (concerned) How is she? Giles: We only have a few minutes left. Cut to the gym and the cheerleaders. Cheerleaders: Go, Sunnydale go! Go, Sunnydale go! Go! Six, seven, eight! Go Sunnydale go! Go, Sunnydale go! Go, Sunnydale go! Go! Six, seven, eight! Go Sunnydale go! Go, Sunnydale go! Go, Sunnydale go! Go! Six, seven, eight! Go Sunnydale go! Go, Sunnydale go! Go, Sunnydale go! Go! (yells from the cheerleaders) The camera focuses on Amy in slow motion. Cut to a slow pan across the crowd. Cut to Amy with a smile on her face. Cut to the science classroom. Catherine is cutting an eye from a frog, and is squeamish about it. Giles: Right! Here we go! Cut to Buffy. She's getting weaker. Cut back to Giles. He recites as he mixes a potion. Giles: The center is dark. Centrum est obscurus. The darkness breathes. Tenebrae respiratis. The listener hears. Hear me! Cut to the gym. The cheerleaders are doing a counting chant. The camera focuses on Amy. She stops chanting and looks startled. Her vision flashes to what Catherine sees in the science lab, the book and the frog. She's back in the gym and takes up the count again, but has a worried look on her face. Cut back to the lab. Catherine: Oh, it's... it's working! Giles takes the book up from the table and reads. Giles: Unlock the gate. Let the darkness shine. Cover us with holy fear. Catherine staggers back and covers her face. Giles: Show me... The lights go out in the classroom. Cut to the gym. Some of the cheerleaders are lifting Amy. Once up, she thrusts her fists into the air and gives the crowd a big smile. Her smile fades as she has another flash to the lab, where she gets a glimpse of Buffy. She comes back to the gym and begins to lose her balance. Xander and Willow watch. The cheerleaders supporting Amy struggle for control, but they collapse. The crowd reacts to the fall. Xander and Willow see everything, too. Cut back to Amy. Joy: Amy, what's your problem? Amy shoots her a dirty look. Joy is taken aback. Amy gets up, looks around and runs from the gym. Cut to the lab. Catherine: She's coming! Giles looks worried. Cut to the halls. Amy violently pushes open a door. Willow stops her. Willow: Amy! Amy: Get out of my way! Willow: W-wait! I-I-I need to talk to you, I-I can help you. Amy: Help me? With what? Willow: Uh, well, y'know, all your witchcraft! I, I know this really good cauldron. Xander sneaks up behind Amy. Willow: Do you actually ride a broom? Amy twists around, growls and holds out her hand like she's grabbing Xander's neck. His hand goes to his throat. Amy makes a fist and twists it. Xander collapses to the floor, choking. Willow: Xander! Amy spins back around and punches Willow hard in the face, knocking her to the floor. She starts running to the lab. Cut to the lab. Giles is holding up his arms and chanting. Giles: Corsheth and Gilail! The gate is closed! Receive the dark! Release the unworthy! Take of mine energy and be sated! He plunges his hands into the mixture he's concocted. Cut to the halls. Amy slams through another door and continues walking to the lab with a determined look on her face. She tries the door, but it's locked. She yanks at it. Cut inside. Giles takes his hands out of the brew. Catherine looks at the door and sees it's being yanked on. Giles: Be sated! Release the unworthy! Cut back to the hall. Amy stops yanking at the door and finds a fire axe in a glass case. She breaks the glass with her fist and takes out the axe. Cut inside to Buffy. She can't keep her eyes open and is just rolling her head slowly. Giles: Release! Amy begins to chop down the door. Giles: Release! Buffy lies prone. Amy has made a hole, reaches through and gets the door open. She marches in, axe in hand, straight over to Buffy. Giles: RELEEEEASE! Amy starts to wield the axe, but stops when there's a flash of light and the spells are all broken. She is herself again. She looks around, a bit confused, steps back and lowers the axe. Buffy has her strength back and gets up from the table. Giles sees that she is okay. Amy: Buffy? Buffy: Amy? Catherine lunges at Buffy from the side and tackles her to the floor, knocking her out. Giles advances, holding his arm out and pointing. Giles: You... you... Catherine growls and looks at him. She uses her powers to force him back and push a table against him, knocking him down and out. Amy just stands there watching, still holding the axe in both hands. Catherine gets up and confronts her. Catherine: You! You little brat! Amy: (holds the axe threateningly) Mom! Please! Catherine holds out her hand, and the axe flies from Amy's hands to hers. Catherine: How dare you raise your hand to your mother! I gave you birth. I gave up my life so you could drag that worthless carcass around and call it living? (swings the axe into a lab table) You've never been anything but trouble. I'm going to put you where you can't make trouble again! Buffy: (jumps up behind Catherine) Guess what? Catherine turns to face her. Buffy: I feel better! She punches Catherine, and she flies through the air, lands on a lab table and rolls off, hitting a shelf full of bottles along the way. She quickly gets up. Catherine: That body was mine! Mine! Buffy: Oh, grow up! Catherine growls, holds her arm out toward Buffy and uses her powers to send her flying against the wall. Buffy hits the wall and falls to the floor. She gets up, craning her neck. Catherine begins to cast a spell. Catherine: I shall look upon my enemy! She looks up at Buffy, and her eyes have become pitch black. Catherine: I shall look upon her and the dark place will have her soul! Buffy looks around for a way to stop her. She sees the pole holding up the mirror above her. Catherine: Corsheth, take her! Buffy does a standing hook kick, knocking the pole out from under the mirror and letting it flop down. Catherine's spell leaps from her hands and is reflected by the mirror back at her. The power of the spell envelops her as she screams. The energy twists around her and disappears with a roar, taking her with it. Buffy surveys the scene. Amy is badly shaken. Buffy sees Giles unconscious on the floor. He wakes up. Giles: Well, that was, um, interesting. Buffy gives him her hand and helps him up. Buffy: You guys okay? Amy: I'm fine! Giles: I assume the, uh, all the spells are reversed. It was my first casting, so... (inhales) I may have got it wrong. Buffy: You saved my life! You were a god! Amy: Well, I didn't think you'd pull it off. Suddenly Xander comes rushing in and grabs Amy tightly. Xander: I got her! I got her! Cut her head off! Buffy: Xander, what are you doing? Xander: Saving you? Buffy: Get your hands off of her. Xander: But she's evil. Giles: It wasn't exactly her. Amy: I was my mom. Xander: Oh! (releases her) Now Willow comes running in, too, wielding a bat. Willow: Where is she?! Xander: Uh, hey Willow! It's cool! Willow: It is? Xander: Yeah, I took care of it. They all just look at each other. Cut to Buffy's room. She scoops her smashed alarm clock into a wastebasket. Her mother comes in. Joyce: I don't get it. Buffy: What? Joyce: I've been doing a lot of thinking about... where you're coming from, how to relate to you... and I've come to a very simple conclusion: I don't get it. Buffy: I'm inscrutable, huh? Joyce: You're sixteen. I think there's a, a biological imperative whereby I can't understand you because I'm not sixteen. Buffy: Do you ever wish you could be sixteen again? Joyce: Oh, that's a frightful notion. (exhales) Go through all that again? Not even if it helped me understand you. She smiles at her daughter, and Buffy smiles back. Buffy: I love you, mom. She jumps up and kisses her mom on the cheek, then runs from the room. Joyce: I don't get it! Cut to the school halls. Buffy and Amy are walking together. Amy: My dad is *so* impossible! He doesn't ever want me going anywhere! He wants to spend total quantity time together. And I'm, like, 'Dad, I can go out, it's perfectly safe!' But he's got all this guilt about leaving me with my mom. And he's being a total pain. Buffy: You're loving it. Amy: Every single minute. Cut to another part of the hall. Amy: This Saturday night he wants to stay in and make brownies. Well, the brownies were my idea. Cordelia: (comes up behind them) Hey, I'm really sorry you guys got bumped back to alternate. (reconsiders) Hold it, wait... No I'm not! Amy: Well, I know that I'll miss the intellectual thrill of spelling out words with my arms. Cordelia: Ooo, these grapes are sour! Buffy and Amy stop at the trophy case while Cordelia continues on. Amy: (to Buffy) Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot that you wanted to be on the squad. Buffy: Oh, hey, that's okay. Cheerleading's just a little too hairy for me these days. Amy: (takes a breath) That's for sure. They go around to the front of the case and look at Catherine's picture. Amy: Catherine the Great. Buffy: And there's been no sign of her? Amy: That last spell... She said I'd never make trouble again. Wherever she is I don't think we'll have to worry. They both look at Catherine's cheerleading trophy. Buffy: Twisted. They turn and go. Amy: I'm just happy to have my body back. I'm thinking of getting fat. Buffy: Y'know, I hear that look's in for spring. The camera closes in on the cheerleading trophy. Catherine's eyes are looking out and she's making muffled noises. Teacher's Pet Written by: David Greenwalt Directed by: Bruce Seth Green Transcribed by: AleXander Thompson Copyright © 1997 Alexander Thompson ~~~~~~~~~~ Prologue ~~~~~~~~~~ In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. The Bronze. A girl is screaming. A vampire is advancing on Buffy as she backs into a pole. She throws a solid right to his face followed by a left. The vampire isn't fazed, and he grabs her and throws her onto a pool table. He leans over her to bite. Xander comes up behind the vampire, grabs him by the shoulders and pulls him off of Buffy. Xander: May I cut in? He bashes the vampire's head into the pool table, turns him around and punches him in the gut and the face. The vampire falls to the floor, unconscious. Buffy is impressed and gives him a big smile. Xander offers her his hand to help her off of the pool table. Xander: You alright? Buffy: (exhales) Thanks to you! She slides off of the table and notices Xander's hand. Buffy: You hurt your hand! Will you still be able to... Xander: ...finish my solo and kiss you like you've never been kissed before? He gives her a wink and starts back to the stage. The vampire gets back up and growls at Buffy. Xander sees him, breaks the leg off of a chair that's been knocked over and throws the makeshift stake at the vampire. Buffy watches the stake fly into the vampire's chest, and he falls dead. She turns her gaze back on Xander. He jumps up onto stage and grabs his guitar to continue his solo. Buffy looks up at him adoringly and advances to the stage as he plays. Buffy: You're drooling. Xander gives her a confused look. Cut to science class. It's dark because Dr. Gregory is giving a slide show. Buffy: Xander! He wakes up from his daydream and shakes his head. Buffy indicates the corner of her mouth. Buffy: You've got a little... He picks up on her gesture and quickly wipes the drool off of his mouth and chin. Dr. Gregory: Their ancestors were here long before we were. Their progeny will be here long after we are gone. The simple and ubiquitous ant. He turns off the projector, turns the lights on and begins walking up the aisle. Dr. Gregory: Now. If you read the homework you should know the two ways that ants communicate. He stops at Xander's lab table and leans on it to face Buffy. Dr. Gregory: Miss Summers. Buffy: (on the spot) Ways that ants communicate. Dr. Gregory: (nodding his head) Mm. Buffy: With other ants. Dr. Gregory: From the homework. Behind him Willow tries to get Buffy's attention. Dr. Gregory: Ants are communicating... Buffy: (sees Willow's signals) Um, uh, uh... Willow strokes Xander's back, indicating "touch". Buffy: Touch... Dr. Gregory: (nodding) Mm-hmm. Buffy: And, um... She looks at Willow again. She is sniffing Xander, indicating "smell". Buffy: (confused) B.O.? Several students laugh. Willow gives her a disappointed look. Blayne: Thank God someone finally found the courage to mention that! Dr. Gregory: That would be 'touch' and 'smell', Miss Summers. Is there anything else Miss Rosenberg would like to tell you? Willow quickly turns away in her seat. The bell rings. Dr. Gregory starts to move back to the front of the class. Dr. Gregory: Alright, chapters six through eight by tomorrow, people. (stops and looks back at Buffy) Can I see you for a moment? Buffy nods. Cut to after the other students have left the room. Buffy leans against a lab table. Dr. Gregory idly reviews his slides. Dr. Gregory: I gather you had a few problems at your last school? Buffy: Well, what teenager doesn't? Dr. Gregory: Cut school, get in fights, burn down the gymnasium... Principal Flutie showed me your permanent record. He walks to the front of the class, and Buffy follows him. Buffy: Well, that fire, I mean, there was major extenuating circumstances. Actually, it's, uh, kinda funny! Dr. Gregory: Can't wait to see what you're gonna do *here*. He goes to the closet, gets his other glasses from his coat and cleans them. Buffy: Destructo Girl. That's me. Dr. Gregory: But I suspect it's gonna be great. Buffy: You mean, 'great' in a bad way? Dr. Gregory: (looks at her, then back at his glasses) You have a first- rate mind and you can think on your feet. Imagine what you could accomplish if you actually did the... Buffy: ...the homework thing. Dr. Gregory: The homework thing. I understand you probably have a good excuse for not doing it. (closes the closet and walks back to his lab table) Amazingly enough, I don't care. I know you can excel in this class, and so I expect no less. Is that clear? Buffy: Yeah! Sorry. Dr. Gregory: Don't be sorry, be smart. (looks at another slide) And please don't listen to the principal or anyone else's negative opinion about you. Let's make 'em eat that permanent record. Whadaya say? He looks up at Buffy and gives her a little smile. She smiles back. Buffy: Okay! Thanks. He nods his head. She grabs her bag. Dr. Gregory: Chapters six through eight! Buffy looks back at him with a smile and leaves the classroom. Dr. Gregory puts the slide down, goes over to turn off the lights and comes back to his slide-viewing plate. While he concentrates on the slides, the closet door opens. Cut to a view of Dr. Gregory from the closet. The camera advances on him. Cut in front of him. He's concentrating on the slides. Cut behind him. A large, green mantis claw goes around his neck. Dr. Gregory looks up behind him and screams. The claw drags him off of his chair. His glasses hit the floor and break, and an instant later so does he. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ The Bronze. The live band is Superfine, playing "Already Met You". Xander dances lamely through the crowd. Lyrics: The first date's the worst date / It's hard to know just what to do / And I take you to dinner / You don't eat, you just play with your food Xander is on the dance floor and looks around. He makes his way to the stage and gives the singer an acknowledging nod and grin. Lyrics: And there's something familiar... The singer gives him a "get outta here" look. Lyrics: About every word you say Xander is disappointed and moves away from the stage. Lyrics: It's hard to believe it's happened again / I already met you / And I already met you / You're like my last girlfriend / Yes, and the girlfriend I had before her Xander goes over to the bar where Blayne and his friend are sitting. Blayne: Seven, including Cheryl. I'll tell you, though, her sister was lookin' to make it eight! Boy: Ooo, Cheryl's sister? The one in college? Blayne: (nods) Home for the holidays and lookin' for love! She's not my type, though. Girls really gotta have something to go with me. Xander: (interrupting) Something like a lobotomy? The two boys look at him. Blayne: Xander. How many times you score? Xander: Well, uh... Blayne: It's just a question. Xander: Are we talking today, or the whole week? The two boys snicker. Xander spots Buffy and Willow coming down the stairs. Xander: Ooo! Duty calls! He leaves the bar and approaches the girls as Blayne and his friend watch. Xander: Babes! The girls look back at him. He comes up to them with his arms wide open and grabs them both around the shoulders. Buffy: What are you doing? Xander: (to Buffy) Work with me here. Blayne had the nerve to question my manliness. I'm just gonna give him a visual. Willow: (throws her arms around him tightly) We'll show him! Xander looks back at Blayne, gives him a thumbs up and puts his arm back around Willow. The two boys seem impressed. Buffy: (distracted) I don't believe it. Xander: I know, and after all my conquests. Buffy sees Angel and goes over to him. Xander: Who's that? Willow: That must be Angel! I think? Xander: That weird guy that warned her about all the vampires? Willow: That's him, I'll bet you. Xander: Well, he's buff! She never said anything about him being buff! Willow: You think he's buff? Xander: He's a very attractive man! How come *that* never came up? Cut to Angel. Buffy comes up to him. Buffy: Well! Look who's here! Angel: Hi. Buffy: I'd say it's nice to see you, but then we both know that's a big fib. Angel: I won't be long. Buffy: No, you'll just give me a cryptic warning about some exciting new catastrophe, and then disappear into the night. Right? Angel: You're cold. Buffy: You can take it. Angel: (takes off his jacket) I mean, you look cold. He puts his jacket around her shoulders. Cut to Willow and Xander. Xander: Oh, right! Give her your jacket. It's a balmy night, no one needs to be trading clothing out there! Cut to Buffy and Angel. Buffy: A little big on me. (notices a series of cuts on Angel's arm) What happened? Angel: I didn't pay attention. Buffy: To somebody with a big fork? Angel: He's coming. Buffy: The Fork Guy? Angel: Don't let him corner you. Don't give him a moment's mercy. He'll rip your throat out. Buffy: Okay, I'll give you improved marks for that one. Ripping a throat out, it's a strong visual, it's not cryptic! Angel: I have to go. (leaves) Buffy: (stares after him) Sweet dreams to you, too. Cut to Sunnydale High the next morning. Buffy and Giles are walking along in front of the school. Giles is eating an apple. Giles: That's all he said? Fork Guy? Buffy: That's all Cryptic Guy said: Fork Guy. Giles: I think there are too many 'guys' in your life. (laughs) They meet Willow sitting on a bench. Giles: I'll see what I can find out. (looks up at the sky) God, every day here is the same. Buffy: Bright, sunny, beautiful, how ever can we escape this torment? Willow gives her a smile. Buffy puts down her bag and sits down next to her. Giles: Really. Xander comes up behind Giles as he turns to leave. Giles: Good morning. Xander: Mornin'. (to the girls) Guess what I just heard in the office? No Dr. Gregory today. Ergo, those of us who blew off our science homework aren't as dumb as we look. He reaches down and flips Willow's book closed. She has to stop it from sliding off of her lap. Buffy: What happened, is he sick? Xander: They didn't say anything about sick, something about missing. Buffy: He's missing? Xander: Well, let me think. Um, the cheerleaders were modeling their new short skirts, that kinda got... Yeah! Yeah, they said missing. Willow and Buffy exchange a look. Xander: Which is bad? Buffy: If something's wrong, yeah! Willow: He's one of the only teachers that doesn't think Buffy's a felon. Xander: I'm really sorry, I'm sure he'll... He looks up and sees Miss Natalie French walking toward them. Xander: I, uh, huh... The girls look to see what's distracting him. Xander: Uh, huh... huh... Cut to a slow motion shot of Natalie walking. She comes right up to Xander, who just stares at her. Natalie: Could you help me? Xander: Uuuuuuhhhhhh... Yes! Willow and Buffy give each other amused looks. Natalie: I'm looking for Science... 109. Xander: Oh! It's, um... He looks around himself, trying to remember the way. He turns back to Natalie. Xander: (smiles) I go there every day! Natalie laughs. Xander: (looks to the girls for help) Oh, God, where is it? Willow and Buffy just shrug. Blayne appears behind Natalie and introduces himself. Blayne: Hi! Blayne Mall. I'm going there right now. It's not far from the varsity field where I took All-City last year. (smiles smugly) Natalie: Oh! Thank you, Blayne! She and Blayne leave. Xander's gaze follows them for a moment, and then he turns back to Willow and Buffy. Xander: It's funny how the Earth never opens up and swallows you when you want it to. The girls nod their heads and give each other a smile. Cut to science class. Natalie is writing her name on the board. Buffy, Willow and Xander walk in. Buffy spots Dr. Gregory's glasses on the floor and picks them up. Willow: What's wrong? Buffy: Dr. Gregory dropped his glasses... Why wouldn't he pick them up? She sets the glasses on the lab table and gives Natalie a glance as she walks to her stool. Natalie faces the class. Natalie: My name is Natalie French, and I will be substituting for Dr. Gregory. Buffy: Do you know when he's coming back? Natalie: No, I don't, um, (checks her roster) Buffy. They just call and tell me where they want me. Blayne: (in a low voice) I'll tell you where I want you. Natalie: Excuse me, Blayne? Blayne: Uh, I was just wondering if you were gonna pick up where Dr. Gregory left off. Natalie: (smiles) Yes. His notes tell me you were right in the middle of insect life. She picks up a mantis mounted in a clear plastic box. Natalie: The praying mantis is a fascinating creature. Forced to live alone. Who can tell me why? Buffy? She puts the mantis back down. Buffy: Well, the words 'bug-ugly' kinda spring to mind. There's lots of muffled laughter. Natalie: There is nothing ugly about these unique creatures. The reason they live alone is because they're cannibals! Buffy: Eww! Everyone in class looks disgusted. Natalie: Oh, well, it's hardly their fault! It's the way nature designed them: noble, solitary and prolific. Over 1800 species worldwide, and in nearly all of them the female is larger *and* more aggressive than the male. Blayne: (aside to Buffy) Nothing wrong with an aggressive female. Buffy angles her head and gives him a look. Natalie picks up her notebook and starts to walk around the room. Natalie: The California Mantis lays her eggs, and then finds a mate... She looks at Xander. He stares back. Natalie: ...to fertilize them. Once he's played his part, she covers the eggs in a protective sack and attaches it to a leaf or twig out of danger. Now, if she's done her job correctly, in a few months she'll have several hundred offspring. She has made her way back to the front of the class and puts down her notebook. Natalie: You know, we should make some model egg sacks for the science fair. Who would like to help me do that after school? All the boys raise their hands. Natalie: (pleased) Good! Cut to the cafeteria. Buffy, Willow and Xander are in line. Buffy: Hot dog surprise. Be still, my heart. Willow: Call me old-fashioned, I don't want any more surprises in my hot dogs. Xander: I wonder what she sees in me? It's probably the quiet good looks coupled with a certain smoky magnetism. Willow raises her eyebrows at him. She turns to Buffy and they smile. Xander: Miss French. You two're probably a little young to understand what an older woman would see in a younger man. Buffy: Oh, I understand. Xander: Good! Buffy: The younger man is too dumb to wonder why an older woman can't find someone her own age, and too desperate to care about the surgical improvements! Xander: (taken aback) What surgical improvements? Willow: (to Buffy) Well, he is young. Buffy: And so terribly innocent! Xander: Hey, those that can, do. Those that can't *laugh* at those who... can do. Blayne comes up next to Xander, getting lots of food. Blayne: Gotta carb up for my one-on-one with Miss French today. When's yours? Oh, right, tomorrow. You came in second, I came in first. Guess that's what they call natural selection. (leaves) Xander: Guess it's what they call a rehearsal! (to the girls) Rehearsal... (laughs lamely) The girls smile. Buffy goes over to get some utensils. As she walks back Cordelia comes in through the exit and bumps into her. Cordelia: (to Buffy) Excuse you! She goes behind the counter, showing a piece of paper to the cafeteria workers. Cordelia: Medically prescribed lunch. My doctor ships it daily... I'll only be here as long as I can hold my breath. She opens a refrigerator and screams. Inside is a headless body. Buffy and Willow run to see what's wrong. Cordelia backs away from the fridge. Cordelia: (hysterically) His head! His head! Oh, my God, where's his head?! Buffy and Willow arrive to see what's inside. Buffy stares in disbelief. Xander is close behind and has to look away when he sees. Willow looks squeamish. The name on the body's lab coat is "Dr. Gregory". Cut to the library. Giles pours a glass of water. He brings it over to Buffy, who is sitting on the steps with Willow. Both girls have deeply sad looks on their faces. Buffy has been crying. Giles: (hands the glass to Buffy) Here. Drink this. Buffy: (idly takes the glass) No, thank you. (takes a sip) Xander: (behind Giles) I've never seen... Giles looks back at Xander. Xander: (shaken) I mean, I've never seen anything like... That was new. Willow: Who would wanna hurt Dr. Gregory? Giles: Uh, he didn't have any enemies on the staff that I'm aware of. He was a civilized man. I liked him. Buffy: So did I. Willow: (looks up at Giles) Well, we're gonna find out who did this. We'll find them and we'll stop them. Buffy: Count on it. Giles: What do we know? Buffy: Oh, not a lot, um... (sniffs and wipes a tear from her nose) He was killed here on campus. I'm guessing the last day we saw him. Giles: How do you work that out? Buffy: He didn't change his clothing. Xander: This is a question that no one particularly wants to hear, but... where did they put his head? Willow: Good point. I *didn't* wanna hear that. Buffy: Angel! (gets up) He warned me that something was coming. She takes another sip of water as she walks over to the table. Giles: Yes. Yes he did, didn't he? I wish I knew what he meant. I've been trying to gather more information about the Master, our, uh, local vampire king. There was one oblique reference to a, a, a vampire who displeased the Master and cut his hand off in penance. Buffy: Cut off his hand and replaced it with a fork? Giles: I don't know what he replaced it with. Xander: So, why would he come after a teacher? Giles: I'm not certain he did. There was an incident two nights ago... He walks over to the counter, picks up a newspaper and returns with it. Giles: ...uh, involving a homeless person in Weatherly Park. He was practically shredded, but, uh, nothing like Dr. Gregory. Buffy: (looks at the paper) Fork Guy doesn't do heads. Giles: Not historically. Buffy: And Dr. Gregory's blood wasn't drained. Xander: So there's something else out there? Besides Silverwareman? Oh, this is fun, we're on Monster Island. Buffy: We're on a Hellmouth. It's a center of mystical convergence. Guess it's the same thing. (walks toward Xander) Giles: Well, unpleasant things do gravitate here, it's true, but, uh, we don't know there's anything besides this chap. He's still our likely suspect. Buffy: Where was that guy killed? Weatherly Park? Giles: Buffy. (advances toward her) I know you're upset, but, uh, this is no time to go hunting, not until we know more. Please promise me you won't do anything rash? Buffy: Cross my heart. Cut to the park at night. Buffy climbs the fence. She walks through the park, carefully looking around. A bum comes up to her, startling her. Bum: Shouldn't be out here at night, little lady. Dangerous. The bum leaves. She notices another bum on the ground in front of a bench, and she checks him out. He's okay, just asleep. Buffy continues stalking. Dogs bark in the distance. Buffy finds some shrubbery covering a sewer access hole. She moves it aside, and Fork Guy jumps out at her. She rushes backward. He swings with his claw, but misses. She slams her straight arm into his gut, then again into his back. He swings again, but Buffy dodges him. She backhand punches him in the face, does a roundhouse kick to his jaw and backhand punches his face again. He takes another swing at Buffy, but she evades it. She front kicks him. He lunges at her, and she grabs his arm and flips him over onto his back. Buffy tries to stake him, but he rolls away and back onto his feet. She kicks him again, and he staggers backward and falls. Buffy hears voices and turns to see people with flashlights coming over the hill. Voices: Hold it! Police! Did you see that? I got nothing here! Buffy looks back and forth between Fork Guy and the posse. The vampire runs off. Voices: I heard it. Spread out. Let's go over here. This way, this way. Alright... Buffy makes tracks after the vampire. Cut to the fence at the edge of the park. Natalie is walking home on the other side with grocery bags in her arms. The vampire stalks her and climbs over the fence. Buffy comes running up. The vampire lands behind Natalie. Buffy reaches the fence and watches. Natalie senses the vampire, stops and turns to face him. Fork Guy hisses and runs away in fear. Natalie watches him go. Buffy can't believe what she's seeing. The vampire crosses the street, lifts a manhole cover and climbs down. Natalie continues her walk home. Fork Guy pulls the manhole cover back into place. Buffy came only stare after Natalie, her mouth agape. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ Sunnydale High, the next morning. Cut to the library. Giles: You went hunting last night. Buffy: Yes. He walks into his office. She follows behind him. Giles: When you assured me you wouldn't. (takes a sip from his mug) Buffy: Yes, I lied, I'm a bad person, let's move on. Giles: (opens his file cabinet) Did you see someone with a fork? Buffy: More like a jumbo claw. Giles: (turns to face her) Oh. Well, uh, at least you're not hurt. Buffy: And I saw something else. Something much more interesting than your average run-of-the-mill killer vampire. Giles: Oh? Buffy: Do you know Miss French, the teacher that's subbing for Dr. Gregory? Giles: (smiles) Yes. Yes, she's lovely. In a, a common, extremely well proportioned way. (puts some files away) Buffy: Well, I'm chasing Claw Guy last night, and Miss Well Proportioned is heading home. The Claw Guy takes one look at her and runs screaming for cover. Giles: (confused) He what? Ran away? Buffy: He was petrified. Giles: Of Miss French? Buffy: Uh-huh! So I'm an undead monster that can shave with my hand... How many things am I afraid of? Giles: Not many. And not substitute teachers, as a rule. Buffy: So what's her deal? Giles: I think perhaps it would be a good idea if we kept an eye on her. Buffy: Then I better get to class. She leaves the office. Cut to Buffy rushing down the stairs in the halls. She is stopped by Principal Flutie. Mr. Flutie: You were there. You saw Dr. Gregory, didn't you? Buffy: Um, you mean yesterday in the cafeteria when we found him... Mr. Flutie: Don't say dead! Or decapitated, or decomposing, I'd stay away from D-words altogether. But you witnessed the event, so this way, please. (starts down the hall) Buffy: (stops him short) Well, no, I'm gonna be late for biology... Mr. Flutie: Extremely late! (starts down the hall again) You have to see a counselor. Everyone who saw the body has to see a crisis counselor. Buffy: But I really don't need... Mr. Flutie: We all need help with our feelings. Otherwise we bottle them up, and before you know it, powerful laxatives are involved. I really believe if we all reach out to one another we can beat this thing. I'm always here if you need a hug, (jumps back) but not a real hug! Because there's no touching, this school is sensitive to wrong touching. Buffy: But, I really, really don't... Mr. Flutie: No, you have to talk to a counselor and start the healing. You have to heal. Buffy: But Mr. Flutie, I... Mr. Flutie: Heal! He sits her down in a chair outside of the counselor's office and paces off. Buffy leans back in the chair and looks bummed. Then she hears Cordelia inside the office. Cordelia: I don't know what to say, it was really, I mean, one minute you're in your normal life, and then who's in the fridge? (the camera pans over to show her inside) It really gets to you, a thing like that. (cut inside) It was... let's just say I haven't been able to eat a thing since yesterday. I think I lost, like, seven and a half ounces? Way swifter than that so-called diet that quack put me on. Oh, I'm not saying that we should kill a teacher every day just so I can lose weight, I'm just saying when tragedy strikes, we have to look on the bright side. You know? Cut to Buffy. What she's hearing is just too weird. Cordelia: Like, how even used Mercedes still have leather seats! Cut to science class. Natalie is giving a pop quiz, and is walking along the aisle. Natalie: Keep your eyes straight ahead on your own test. She comes up behind Xander. Natalie: (in a low voice) I think you meant 'pollination' for number fourteen. (puts her hand on his shoulder) I'll see you here after school. Cut to the hall. Buffy comes running to class and looks in through the door window. Buffy: Oh, great, a pop quiz. Cut inside. Natalie suddenly straightens up. Buffy looks in. She sees Natalie turn her head around 180 degrees. Her eyes go wide with amazement. She quickly rolls away from the window. Cut to the library. Buffy and Willow come in. Buffy: No, I'm not saying she craned her neck. We are talking full-on Exorcist twist. Willow: Ouch! Buffy: Which reminds me, how come Blayne, who worked with her one-on- one yesterday, isn't here today? Willow: Inquiring minds wanna know. Buffy: (to Giles) Any luck? Willow sits down in front of the PC and begins a search. Giles: Um, I've not found any creature as yet that strikes terror in a vampire's heart. Buffy: Try looking under things that can turn their heads all the way around. Giles: Nothing human can do that. Buffy: No, nothing human. There are some insects that can. Whatever she is, I'm gonna be ready for her. She turns and hops up the stairs to the stacks. Giles takes off his glasses. Giles: What are you going to do? Buffy: (turns back to answer) My homework. She continues up into the stacks. Willow looks up at her and smiles, then continues her search. Buffy comes running back. Buffy: Where are the books on bugs? Cut to the science classroom. Natalie is at the desk spreading butter on a slice of bread. She's about to open a plastic container when she hears Xander come in and looks up. Xander: Hi! Natalie: Oh, Hi! I was just grabbing a snack. Can I fix you something? Xander: No thanks, I never... eat when I'm making egg sacks. (sees the model) Wow, if this were real the bugs would be... Natalie: ...as big as you! Xander: Yeah! So! Where do we start? Natalie: Oh, Xander! (gets up) I've done something really stupid. I hope you can forgive me. Xander: Oh, forgiveness is my middle name! Well, actually it's LaVelle, and I'd appreciate it if you guard that secret with your life. (laughs) Natalie: (laughs) I have a teacher's conference in half an hour, and I left the paint and papier-mâché at home. I don't suppose you'd like to come to my place tonight to work on it there? Xander: (swallows) Come to, uh... your place? He flashes to his guitar solo for a moment. Natalie: 7:30? Here's my address. (writes it down) Xander can't believe his luck. Natalie: (hands him her address) I'll see you tonight? Xander: (in a high, squeaky voice) Yeah! Cut to the hall. Xander comes out of the classroom. Xander: (pumping his fists into the air) Ooo, yes! Cut inside the classroom. Natalie opens the container now. It's full of crickets. She dumps them onto the buttered bread and folds the slice in half. She takes a bite. Crunchy! Cut to the library. Buffy comes out of the stacks with a book. Buffy: Dig this: 'The praying mantis can rotate its head 180 degrees while waiting for its next meal to walk by.' (slams the book shut) Ha! (silence) Well, c'mon, guys. Ha! Willow: Well, Miss French is sort of big. For a bug? Giles: And she is, by and large, woman shaped. Buffy: (makes her way down to them) Okay. Factoid 1: Only the praying mantis can rotate its head like that. Factoid 2: A pretty whacked-out vampire is scared to death of her. Factoid 3: Her fashion sense screams predator. Willow: It's the shoulder pads. Buffy: Exactly. Giles: If you're right, then she'd have to be a shape shifter or a perception distorter. On a helpful note, I had a chum at Oxford, Carlyle, advanced degrees in entomology mythology. Buffy: Entoma-who? Giles: Bugs and fairy tales. Buffy: I knew that. Giles: If I recall correctly, poor old Carlyle, just before he went mad, claimed there was some beast... Willow: (the PC beeps) Buffy, 911! Blayne's mom called the school. He never came home last night. Giles: The boy who worked with Miss French yesterday? Willow: Yeah! If Miss French is responsible for... Xander's supposed to be helping her right now! He's got a crush on a giant insect! Buffy: Okay, don't panic, I'll warn him. But I need you to hack onto the coroner's office for me. Willow: Well, what are we looking for? Buffy: Autopsy on Dr. Gregory. I've been trying to figures out these marks that I saw on his corpse... I'm thinking they were teeth. And, uh, these cuddlies? (points to a picture of a mantis) Should definitely be brushing after every meal. (Willow types) (to Giles) And you were saying something about a beast? Giles: (gets up to go to his office) Oh, uh, yeah, I just need to make one transatlantic telephone call. (stops and turns back) Um, this computer invasion that Willow's performing on the coroner's office, one, one assumes it is entirely legal? Willow and Buffy answer simultaneously. Willow: Entirely! Buffy: Of course! Giles: Right. Wasn't here, didn't see it, couldn't have stopped you. Buffy: Good idea. Cut outside. Buffy catches up with Xander. Buffy: Hey! Xander: Hey! Buffy: So, how'd it go with Miss French? Xander: Well, it's a bit demanding being her absolute favorite guy in the universe, but I'll muddle through. Buffy: Xander, she's not what she seems. Xander: I know, she's so much more. Buffy: Okay, um... I'm gonna have to tell you something about her, and I'm gonna need you to really listen, okay? Xander: Okay. Buffy: I don't think she's human. Xander: I see. So if she's not human she's...? Buffy: Technically? A big bug. Xander laughs. Buffy: This sounds really weird, I'm aware of that... Xander: It doesn't sound weird at all, I completely understand. I've met someone, and you're jealous. Buffy: What? Xander: Look, there's nothing I can do about it. Uh, there's just this certain chemical thing between Miss French and me. Buffy: I know, I read all about it, it's call, um, a pheromone. It's a chemical attractant that insects give off. Xander: She's not an insect! She's a woman, okay? And hard as that may be for you to conceive, an actual woman finds me attractive. I realize it's no mystery guy handing out leather jackets, and while we're on the subject, what kind of a girlie name is 'Angel' anyway? Buffy: What does that have to do with... Xander: Nothing! It just kinda bugs me. Look, I really gotta... He walks off. Buffy turns and watches him go. Buffy: Wha...? Cut to Natalie's house that night. She pours two martinis. Her dress shows lots of cleavage. The doorbell rings. She smiles and goes to open it. Natalie: Hi! Come on in! Xander stares at her cleavage as he comes in. Natalie: Should I change? Is, is this too... (she closes the door) Xander: No, no, it's, the most beautiful chest... dress I've ever seen. She smiles and goes back into the living room. Xander follows. Natalie: Thank you. That's sweet. Martini? (offers him one) Oh, I'm sorry, would you like something else? Xander quickly accepts the drink. Natalie: (laughs) I just need to relax a little, I'm kinda nervous around you. (she sits down) You're probably cool as a cucumber! Xander: (sits down) I like cucumbers. Like in that Greek salad thing with the yogurt. Do you like Greek food? I'm exempting Schwarma, of course, I mean, what's that all about? It's a big meat hive. They laugh, he nervously, she playfully. Xander gulps the martini. Xander: Hhhhhhho! Hello! Natalie: Cheers! (clinks their glasses) Can I ask you a personal question? She puts her glass down and gets closer to Xander. Natalie: Have you ever been with a woman before? Xander: You mean, like, in, uh, the same room? Natalie: You know what I mean. Xander: Oh, that, uh... Well, let me think. Um... Natalie runs her fingers though his hair and around his ear. Xander: Yeah, there was, uh... several! She continues her stroke down to Xander's chin. Xander: I mean, and, uh, quite a few times... And then there was, uh... Oh, she was incredibly... No. Uh-uh. Natalie: I know. I can tell. Xander: You can? Natalie: Oh, I like it. You might say, I... *need* it. Xander: Oh! Well, needs should, uh, y'know... Needs should definitely be met, as long as it doesn't require ointments the next day, or... Muffled yelling can be heard from somewhere. Xander: Do you hear... Natalie: No... Xander: Sounds like someone crying... Natalie: I don't hear anything. (takes his hand) Your hands are so hot! Xander flashes to his dream. Buffy: Oh, you hurt your hand! Xander comes back. The drink is beginning to affect him. He leans back on the couch. Xander: Buffy. I love Buffy. Wow! So that's a martini, huh? Natalie: Mm-hmm. Xander: (sits back up) Do you hear... Natalie: (interrupting) Would you like to touch me with those hands? Xander: (looks at Natalie's hands) Your hands are sss... really... (her hands morph) serrated! Oh, wow, that martini, I... I really think I have to... Xander falls to the floor unconscious. Two mantis claws drag him away by his feet. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ Natalie's basement. The camera pans down from the window above the stairs to Xander. He's lying unconscious in a cage. There are squishing noises. Xander wakes up, looks around, grabs the bars and pulls himself up. He sees Natalie as a giant mantis preparing her nest. Xander: Miss... French? Natalie: Please, call me Natalie. Xander backs away into the cage. Cut to the library. Giles is on the phone. Giles: Frankly, madam, I haven't the faintest idea what time it is, nor do I care. Now, unlock his cell, unstrap him, and bring him to the telephone immediately. This is a matter of life and death! Cut to Willow typing. Willow: Got it! Coroner's report, complete with... Yuk! ...color pictures. Buffy: There *are* teeth marks. Which match perfectly the one insect that nips off its prey's head. Willow: Okay, I-I don't like this. Buffy: Huh! It's the way they feed, head first. It's also the way they mate. The female bites off the male's head while they're... Willow: No, no, no! See? Xander's, I like his head! I-it's where you find his eyes, and his hair, and his adorable smile... Buffy: Hey, hey, take it easy, Willow. Xander is not in any immediate danger. I saw him leave school. He's probably safe at home right now. Cut to Natalie's basement. Xander backs up in his cage and is surprised by Blayne when he reaches the far corner. Xander: Ah! Blayne! Blayne: (terrified) Oh, God! Oh, God! Xander: Are you all right? Blayne: Oh, God! (breathes) You gotta get me outta here! You gotta! She, she, she gets you, and, uh... Xander: What? Blayne: ...she, she... Xander: What does she do? Blayne: Oh, God! Oh, oh, no! Xander: Blayne! What does she do? Blayne: She, she... she, she takes you outta the cage, and she ties you up, and, and... she... she starts movin', and throbbin', and these eggs come shootin' out of her! And then... Xander: What? Blayne: And then... Xander: Then what? Blayne: She mates with you! Xander: Sheeee... Blayne: That's not the worst part! Xander: That's not? Blayne: You seen her teeth? Right while she's, you know, right in the middle of... I saw her do it! I don't wanna die like that! Xander: Blayne! Blayne! Chill! It's okay. It's gonna be okay. We'll get outta this. Blayne: (hopeful) You gotta plan? What is it? Xander: Just, uh, let me perfect it! Blayne: (gives up hope) Oh, God... Oh, God... Oh, God... Cut to the library. Giles is talking with Carlyle on the phone in his office. Giles: I-I understand, Carlyle. Yes... I-I'll take every precaution. Uh, absolutely, i-i-it sounds exactly like the creature you described. Y-you were right all along about everything. Well, n-no, you weren't right about your mother coming back as a Pekinese, but... uh... Try to rest, old man. Yes... Ta! Bye now! He hangs up and comes out of his office. Willow and Buffy are at the PC. Giles: Dr. Ferris Carlyle spent years transcribing a lost pre-Germanic language. What he discovered he kept to himself until several teenage boys were murdered in the Cotswolds. Then he went hunting for it. Buffy: It being... Giles: Uh, he calls her a She-Mantis. This type of creature, the Kleptes-Virgo, or, or virgin-thief, appears in, in many cultures. The Greek sirens, the Celtic sea maidens, who, who tore the living flesh from the bones of, um... Buffy: Giles, while we're young! Giles: Uh, well, basically the, uh, the She-Mantis assumes the form of a beautiful woman and then lures innocent virgins back to her nest. Buffy: Virgins? Well, Xander's not a, uh... I mean, he's probably... Willow: (quickly gets up, worried) ...gonna die! (goes to the phone) Buffy: Okay, okay, (walks around Giles) so this thing is breeding and we need to find it and snuff it. (faces Giles) Any tips on the snuffing part? Giles: Uh, Carlyle recommends cleaving all body parts with a sharp blade. Willow is on the phone in the background behind Buffy talking to Xander's mom. Buffy: Slice and Dice. Giles: Well, whatever you do, it had better be certain and swift. This beast is extremely dangerous. Buffy: Well, your buddy Carlyle faced it, and he's still around. Giles: Yes, in a straitjacket, howling his innards out day and night. Buffy: Okay, Admiral, way to inspire the troops! Giles: Sorry... Willow: (off the phone now) Xander's not home! He told his mom he was going to his teacher's house to work on a science project. He didn't tell her where. Buffy: (to Willow) See if you can get her address off the substitute rolls. (to Giles) And you need to record bat sonar, and fast! Giles: Bat sonar, right. What? Buffy: Bats eat them. (leads Giles to the stairs) The mantis hears sonar, its entire nervous system goes kaplooey. Giles: Where am I gonna find the... Buffy: In the vid library? There're no books, but it's dark and musty, you'll feel right at home, go! (exhales) (to herself) I guess I'll handle the armory. Cut to Natalie's basement. Xander and Blayne are in their cages. Xander is working on one of the bars. Blayne: Don't do anything to make her mad! Xander pulls the bar out. Blayne: (brightens) Hey, alright, now I can get outta my cage! (bummed) Into yours. What'd you do that for? Xander: A weapon! Blayne: (sees Natalie coming) I think you're gonna need it. Xander looks up and is startled. He drops the bar. Cut to the library. Miss French's record is coming out of the printer. Buffy comes in the door. Willow: Getting the address. Buffy: Great! Giles? Giles: (holding a tape recorder) Recording bat sonar is something soothingly akin to having one's teeth drilled. Buffy: (takes the tape recorder) Let's roll! They all head for the door. Willow: According to Miss French's personnel records, she was born in 1907. She's, like, 90 years old! Giles: And extremely well preserved! Cut to Natalie's basement. She is looking back and forth between the boys. Blayne: Oh, God! (goes through the hole into Xander's cage) Uh, he did that, he broke the cage, take him, not me, take him! Cut to Giles, Buffy and Willow driving up to Miss French's house. They get out and run up to the door. Giles: What now, exactly? We can't just kick the door down. Buffy: Yeah, that *would* be wrong. She gets ready to kick, but the door opens. An old lady is there. Miss French: Hello, dear! I thought I heard... Are you selling something? Because I'd like to help you out, but... You see, I'm on a fixed income. Buffy: I'm looking for Miss French. Miss French: I'm Miss French. Buffy: Natalie French, the substitute biology teacher? Miss French: (laughs) Goodness, that's me! I taught for over thirty years. I retired in 1972. Buffy: (to Giles) I can't believe this! She used Miss French's records to get into the school. She could be anywhere! Miss French: No, dear! I'm right here! Cut to Natalie's basement. Xander: What's she doing? Blayne: I think it's eeny, meeny, miney... Xander: Moe? The camera closes in on Xander's terrified face. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ Natalie's basement. She opens the door to the cage. Xander crawls out on his butt, bar in hand. Xander: I'm comin', I'm comin'. When he's just out of the cage he swings the bar and hits Natalie as he gets up. She staggers. He runs for the stairs. Halfway up Natalie trips him with her claw, and he tumbles back down the stairs. Cut to Miss French's house. Giles, Willow and Buffy are going back to the car. Willow: What do we do now? Giles: Abject prayer and supplication would spring to mind. Buffy: I saw her walking past this park with her grocery bags. She lives in this neighborhood. Willow: I'm gonna start banging on doors. (heads for the next house) Buffy: (stops Willow) Wait, no, we do *not* have time for that! Willow: We have to do something! Buffy: We will. Cut to the manhole cover where Buffy saw Claw Guy go in. Buffy lifts it off and starts to climb in. Buffy: I won't be long. (goes down) Giles: W... Buffy? Cut to Natalie's basement. Xander is tied up with leather straps. Natalie is in his face. Blayne: Oh, yeah, here it comes! Xander: What? What's happening?! Blayne: How do you like your eggs, bro, over easy or sunny side up? Xander: Eggs? She's gonna lay some... He sees her lay some eggs. He flashes to Natalie's lecture in science class. Natalie: The California Mantis lays her eggs, and then finds a mate to fertilize them. His flashback is over, and he's scared. Cut to the manhole. Willow: (into the hole) Come on, Buffy! Cut to some bushes. There are sounds of Claw Guy swinging his arm and ropes whipping through the air. Buffy pushes Claw Guy out of the bushes. His arms are tied behind his back. Claw Guy: You! Buffy: Me! She shoves him down the street. Cut to Natalie's street. Buffy is pushing Claw Guy down the sidewalk in front of her. Giles and Willow follow. Buffy: Come on! Come on, where is she? Which house is it? I know you're afraid of her, I saw you! Come on! Claw Guy begins to react to Natalie's presence. Buffy: Come on. What? What is it? This is her, isn't it, this is her house? This is it! Better than radar! She lets go of him. Claw Guy cuts the ropes with his blades. Willow: Buffy! He swings at Buffy, but she leans back in time, only to trip and fall backward over the miniature picket fence running along the walk to the house. Claw Guy jumps to follow. She crawls backward on her butt until she hits the fence on the other side of the lawn. She rips a picket from the fence and thrusts it into Claw Guy as he takes another swing at her. He falls over dead. Giles breathes a sigh of relief. Cut to the basement. Natalie advances on Xander. Natalie: Kiss me! (laughs) Kiss me! Xander: Can I just say one thing? HEEEELLLLP! HEEEELLLLP! Buffy smashes the basement window and slides in. Blayne: Uh, hey, o-over here, hello! In the cage! She pulls her bag though the window. Buffy: (to Natalie) Let him go! She runs down the stairs and sets the bag down. Willow climbs in the window, too. Buffy pulls two cans of insect spray from the bag and sprays Natalie in the face. Giles climbs in as Willow runs behind Buffy to open the cage. The spray disorients Natalie. Giles comes down the stairs now too. Buffy points him at Xander. Blayne: Help me! Help me! Buffy: (to Giles) Get them outta here! She pulls the tape recorder and a machete from her bag. Blayne: Hey, help me! Help me! Giles undoes the leather straps holding Xander. Natalie retreats to the back of her nest. Buffy starts to close in on her. Buffy: Remember Dr. Gregory? You scarfed his head? Yeah, well, he taught me, you do your homework, you learn stuff. Like what happens to your nervous system when you hear this! She plays the tape. It's Giles' voice. Buffy stares at the machine in disbelief. Tape: ...extremely important to file not simply alphabetically... Buffy: (back to Giles) Giles! Giles: (on the floor pointing at Natalie) I-it's the wrong side! Natalie knocks the tape recorder and machete from Buffy's hands. Giles watches the recorder fly over him, hit the ground and slide under a refrigerator. He scrambles to get it. Buffy turns her attention back on Natalie. Natalie tries to trip Buffy, but she jumps over her claw. Xander comes up next to her with a can of bug spray and sprays it into Natalie's face. Buffy pushes him away from danger, and Natalie takes the opportunity to knock her down. Buffy raises herself onto her hands and one leg, and with the other does two crouching side kicks to Natalie's legs to keep her at bay. Giles searches under the refrigerator. Buffy kicks again. She sees the machete on the floor and grabs it. Giles has the recorder now, jumps around on the floor with the recorder in front of him and plays the tape. The sounds of bat sonar severely hurt and disorient Natalie. She flails her claws around. Buffy: Bat sonar. Makes your whole nervous system go to Hell. You can go there with it! She slashes at Natalie fiercely and repeatedly with the machete, hacking her to pieces. She's winded afterward. Giles gets up. Willow runs over to Xander. Blayne is out of his cage. They look at the carnage. Giles: Well, I... I'd say it's deceased. Willow: And dissected. Xander: (to Buffy) You okay? Buffy: Yeah. Xander: Just for the record, you were right, I'm an idiot, and God bless you! Buffy lowers her head. Xander: (to the others) And thank you guys, too. Blayne: Yeah, really! Giles: Pleasure... Willow: I'm really glad you're okay. It's so unfair how she only went after virgins. Xander laughs and looks back and forth between the girls. Xander: (to Willow) What? Willow: I mean, here you guys are, doing the right thing, the smart thing, when a lot of other boys your age... Blayne: Flag down on that play, babe. I am *not*... Giles: (interrupts) Well, you see, that's the She-Mantis' modus operandi. Uh, she only preys on the pure. Xander: Well, isn't this a perfect ending to a wonderful day! Blayne: My dad's a lawyer. Anyone repeats this to anybody, they're gonna find themselves facing a lawsuit. Xander: Blayne! Shut up! Willow: I don't think it's bad, I think it's really... Xander holds up the machete. Willow: ...sweet! It's certainly nothing I'll ever bring up again. Xander takes the machete over to Natalie's nest, looks it over and starts hacking away at it. Cut to the Bronze. Buffy is at the bar wearing Angel's jacket. Angel comes up behind her. Buffy senses him and looks up at him. Angel: (smiles) I heard a rumor there was, uh, one less vampire walking around making a nuisance of himself. Buffy: There is. Guess I should thank you for the tip. Angel: Pleasure's mine. Buffy: Course, it would make things easier if I knew how to get in touch with you. Angel: I'll be around. Buffy: Or who you were? Angel just smiles and moves around to the other side of her. Buffy: Well... Anyway, you can have your jacket back. Angel: It looks better on you. He turns and leaves. Buffy stares after him. Angel gives another look back and disappears into the crowd. Buffy: (to herself) Oh boy! Cut to science class the next day. There's a new science teacher. Teacher: All midterm papers will be exactly six pages long. No more, no less. One third of your grade will be dependent... The camera closes in on Buffy, daydreaming. Teacher: ...on those papers. No more, no less. The bell rings. Buffy comes back to Earth. Everyone gets up and leaves. On the way out Buffy sees Dr. Gregory's glasses still on the lab bench where she left them. She picks them up and remembers him. She sees Dr. Gregory's jacket still hanging on the hook on the closet door and goes over to put the glasses in a pocket. Cut to inside the closet. As she closes the door the camera pans down from Buffy to a lower shelf and stops on a cluster of She-Mantis eggs attached underneath. One of the eggs hatches. Never Kill a Boy on the First Date Written by: Rob Des Hotel & Dean Batali Directed by: David Semel Transcribed by: AleXander Thompson Copyright © 1997 Alexander Thompson ~~~~~~~~~~ Prologue ~~~~~~~~~~ In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. The cemetery. Buffy is fighting a vampire. She kicks him in the face with a high roundhouse kick, forcing him to step backward to keep his balance. The vampire does a jumping half-twisting crescent kick, which Buffy ducks. He tries two punches, and Buffy neatly blocks them. On his third punch she grabs hold of his arm and hits him in the face with a high front snap kick. Letting go of the vampire's arm, Buffy punches him squarely in the midsection and follows up with a swinging punch to his face, sending him to the ground. Buffy: We haven't been properly introduced. (pulls out a stake) I'm Buffy, and you're history! She plunges the stake into him as he gets up. He falls and bursts into ashes. Giles: (pops up from behind a crypt) Poor technique. (comes around to her) Prioritizing, sub-par... Execution was adequate, but a bit too bloody for my taste. Buffy: Giles, don't mention it. It was my *pleasure* to make the world safe for humanity again. Giles: I'm not saying that your methods are without merit, it's, uh, y- you're spending too much time and energy. It should simply be: plunge, and move on. Plunge and... (notices something on the ground) Hello. (bends over to pick up a ring with his pen) Buffy: (sees the ring) Oh, that's great! I kill 'em, you fence their stuff. (Giles gives her a look) What is it? Giles: I don't know. Buffy: But it bothers you. Giles: Yes! Well, I... I thought this vampire was just on a random kill, but it may be something else. Buffy: Something big? Giles: Yes. I'd best consult my books. Cut to the Master's lair. He slams a book down on his lectern, opens it and reads. Master: 'And there will be a time of crisis, of worlds hanging in the balance. And in this time shall come the Anointed, the Master's great warrior. And the Slayer will not know him, will not stop him, and he will lead her into Hell.' As it is written, so shall it be. (picks up the book and walks) 'Five will die, and from their ashes the Anointed shall rise. The Brethren of Aurelius shall greet him and usher him to his immortal destiny.' (stops by one of the brethren) As it is written, so shall it be. 'And one of the brethren shall go out hunting the night before and get himself killed, because he couldn't wait to finish his job before he ate.' Oh, wait. (grabs one of the brethren by the throat) That's not written anywhere. (lifts the vampire from his feet) The Anointed will be my greatest weapon against the Slayer! If you fail to bring him to me, if you allow that girl to stop you... (throws the vampire into a coffin) Here endeth the lesson. He slams the book shut and walks off. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ The library. Buffy is sitting on the table and studying the ring. Giles makes his way down to her from the stacks while leafing through a book. Giles: That symbol on the ring... I believe it's the rune for fidelity, but, uh, it doesn't connect with any of the sects that I've studied. Buffy: What about this? (shows him the ring) On the inside. It's a sun and three stars. Haven't we seen that somewhere? Giles: Let me see. (takes the ring and looks closely) No, I-I don't think this, um, represents any... Buffy: (looks in a book) Wait, it's right here. Sun and three stars. Yuck, check these guys out. (hands Giles the open book) Told you it looked familiar. Giles: Oh, the Order of Aurelius. Yes, you're right. Buffy: Ooo, two points for the Slayer, while the Watcher has yet to score! Owen comes into the library and approaches them. Buffy: Oh! (slides off the table) Owen! Hi! Giles: (looks up at Owen) What do you want? Owen: A book? Giles: Oh! Buffy: (to Giles) See, this is a school, and we have students, and they check out books, and then they learn things. Giles: I was beginning to suspect that was a myth. Owen: I lost my Emily. Dickinson. It's dumb, but I like her around. Kind of a security blanket. Buffy: (awkwardly) I have something like that. Well, it's an actual blanket. Uh, and I don't really carry it around anym-more... So! Emily Dickens, huh? She's great! Owen: Dickinson. Buffy: She's good also. Giles: (points at the stacks) Poetry. Owen: (to Buffy) I didn't think I'd find you here. (goes up the stairs) Buffy: (follows Owen) W... Why not? Owen: I, I didn't mean... I mean... I think you can read. Buffy: Thanks. Owen: But you don't seem bookwormy. (finds his book) The type of person to lock themselves in a dark room with a lotta musty old books. (looks up from the book) Oh, and I've offended you. Buffy: No! No, I'm just surprised you gave any thought to what I'm like. Owen: You shouldn't be. (starts back down) Buffy: (follows again) Oh, well, I *love* books. I mean, I really *love* books. Owen sees the book they were consulting earlier on the table and heads over there to take a look. Owen: What's this? Buffy: (gets between him and the book) Not this one. Giles: (picks the book up) This one she doesn't love. He walks around Buffy, takes Owen's book and heads to the checkout station. Giles: Oh, Emily Dickinson. Buffy: We're both fans. Giles: Yes, uh, she's quite a good poet, I mean for a... (takes Owen's library card) Buffy: A girl? Giles: For an American. (scans the book and library card) Owen: (to Buffy) I'll, uh, see you in math... if I open my eyes at some point. (takes the card and book from Giles) Buffy: Cool... Owen leaves. Buffy stares after him. Giles: The Order of Aurelius is a very old and venerated sect. If they're here, it's for a good reason. Buffy: That was Owen! Giles: Yes, I remember. Buffy: Do you have any more copies of Emily Dickinson? I need one. Giles: (exasperated) Buffy, while the mere fact of you wanting to check out a book would be grounds for a national holiday, I think we should focus on the problem at hand. Buffy: Right. I'm sorry, you're right. Vampires. (looks down at her dress) Oh. (looks inquisitively at Giles) Does this outfit make me look fat? Cut to the cafeteria. Buffy and Willow are paying for lunch. Willow: Owen Thurman was talking to you? Buffy: It's all true. Willow: Wow! He hardly talks to anyone. He's solitary, mysterious... He can brood for forty minutes straight, I've clocked him. Buffy: He was so nice, it was eerie. Willow: What did you guys have to talk about? Buffy: (heads for a table) Emily Dickinson. Willow: (follows) He reads Emily Dickinson? He's sensitive, yet manly! (Buffy sets down her tray) Well, wait, you've never even read her. Buffy pulls out the book and sets it down for Willow to see. Willow: You vixen! (they both sit) Xander: (holds up his fork) Has anybody given any thought to what this green stuff is? Buffy: Hmm, I'm avoiding the subject. Xander: I think it's kale, or possibly string cheese. (lets the fork drop) So, Buffy, how'd the slaying go last night? Buffy: (gives him a stern look) Xander! Xander: I mean, how'd the *laying* go? (gets another look from Buffy) No, I don't mean that either. Buffy: It went fine, thank you. There's some new hoidy-toidy vampire sect in town. Willow: That's bad. Xander: Well, hey, they're bringing in the much needed tourist dollars. (sees Owen) Ooo, look at Mr. Excitement. Buffy: Owen! He's all alone! Maybe somebody should sit with him. Willow: Mm, just to be polite! (Buffy gets up) Good luck! Xander: (to Willow) Okay, what just happened? Buffy walks over to Owen's table. Cordelia is coming over, too, from another direction. Cordelia: Look, an empty seat! (bumps Buffy) Buffy: (spills her tray) Ooo! Ew... Owen: Let me get that. (bends down) Buffy: Thanks! (crouches) Boy! Cordelia's hips are wider than I thought! Cordelia: (sarcastically) Eh-heh! Owen: At least you don't have to eat your Soylent Green. Cordelia: (trying to get attention) Owen, a bunch of us are loitering at the Bronze tonight. You there? Owen: Who's all going? Cordelia: Well, um, I'm gonna be there. Owen: Who else? Cordelia: You mean besides me? Owen: (to Buffy) Buffy, what about you? Buffy: What? Cordelia: No, no, no! She, uh, she doesn't like fun. Owen: (to Buffy) How 'bout we meet there at eight? Buffy: (smiles) Yeah! Eight! There! She puts her empty tray on top of Cordelia's. Cut to the halls. Buffy and Willow come in through the doors. Buffy: It's not that big a deal. It's just a bunch of people getting together. Willow: It's a very big deal! Buffy: It's not! Willow: It is. (spots Giles) Tell her! Giles: I'm afraid it's very big. Willow: (smiles at Buffy) Thank you! (turns back to Giles, confused) Wait! They follow Giles into the library. Cut into the library. Willow: What are you talking about? Giles: What are *you* talking about? Buffy and Willow: Boys! Giles: Yes, well, I'm talking about trouble. A violent and disturbing prophecy is about to be fulfilled. Buffy: The Order of Aurelius. Giles: You were spot-on about the connection. (walks over to the table) I've looked at the writings of Aurelius himself, and he, he prophesied that the brethren of his order would come to the Master and bring him the Anointed. Willow: Who's that? Giles: Well, I-I don't know exactly, a-a-a-a warrior, but, but it says he will rise from the ashes of the Five on the evening of the thousandth day after the Advent of Septus. Buffy: Well, we'll be ready whenever it is. Giles: Which is tonight. Buffy: (takes in the information) Tonight, okay... (realizes the conflict) Not okay! It can't be tonight! Giles: My calculations are precise. Buffy: Nuh! They're bad calculations! Bad! Willow: Buffy has a really important date. Buffy: Owen! Giles: Alright, I-I'll just jump in my time machine, go back to the twelfth century and ask the vampires to postpone their ancient prophecy for a few days while you take in dinner and a show. Buffy: Okay, at this point you're abusing sarcasm. Giles: Buffy, this is no ordinary vampire. But we have to stop him before he reaches the Master. Buffy: But... Cute guy! Teenager! Post-pubescent fantasies! Giles: Those will just have to be put on hold! The dark forces are aligning against us, and we have a chance to beat them back. Tonight we go into battle! Cut to the graveyard. Giles and Buffy are sitting on a large gravestone. Giles: (sniffs) Perhaps I miscalculated. Buffy: I'm thinking yes. (sucks her drink dry) Giles: Well, you know what they say. Ninety percent of the vampire slaying game is, is waiting. Buffy: You couldn't have told me that ninety percent ago? Giles: Well, we, we've certainly waited here long enough. (gets up) Buffy: Besides, there aren't any fresh graves. Who's gonna rise? Giles: Apparently no one tonight. Buffy: (jumps up) Then I can bail? I can go to the Bronze and find Owen? Giles: Oh, very well then. Follow your hormones if you want. (Buffy hops down and starts to go) But I assume I don't have to warn you about the hazards of becoming personally involved with someone who's unaware of your unique condition. Buffy: Yeah, yeah, I read the back of the box. Giles: If your identity as the Slayer is revealed it could put you and all those around you in grave danger. Buffy: Well, in that case I won't wear my button that says, 'I'm a Slayer. Ask me how!' (gets a look from Giles) Good night. (leaves) Giles: 'Five shall die, and from their ashes the Anointed shall rise.' I was sure it was tonight. Cut to a bus. The passengers ride in silence. Collin: (to Andrew) I went on an airplane. Andrew: A pale horse emerged with death as its rider. You will be judged. You will be judged. Cut to the Bronze. Buffy goes in and looks around for Owen. "Rotten Apple", by Three Day Wheely, is playing on the sound system. Lyrics: ...is real / Then you wake up shouting some familiar name / It's not the same Buffy sees Owen dancing with Cordelia. She looks on, crushed by the sight of them together. Lyrics: You're just a girl / Just a girl who knows no shame / Whose desperate pace has lost its taste / A never-ending darkness weighs / I can't avoid, I can't complain / I know exactly who's to blame / The girl who shares my... Cut to the bus. Andrew has gotten up and stands in the aisle. Andrew: That day's gonna bring fire. Fire comin' down! Judgment! (to Collin and his mom) Don't think you're ready, ready to look upon him. If there's sin in there, there's sin all around. It's a liquid. On that day there won't be anybody tellin' us what to do or why we're doin' it. You can't prepare. On that day... Driver: (to Andrew) Hey, you gotta sit down. Okay? Andrew: Are you willing to stand with the righteous? One of the brethren steps in front of the bus. The driver hits the brakes and slams into the vampire. The bus begins to swerve, runs through a sign and hits a pole, which brings it to a stop. Driver: (looks back at the passengers) Is everyone okay? The passengers look at each other. They all seem shaken but okay. The driver gets out to check the victim. Driver: (to victim) Are you all right? (kneels down beside him) Can you move? The vampire grabs him by the throat and begins choking him. Another one punches through a window, grabs Andrew by the throat, pulls him out and bites him. The vampires all climb into the bus to get the other people. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ In the school halls at Buffy's locker. She slams it shut and leans on it. Xander: So you just went home? Buffy: What was I supposed to do? Say to Owen, 'Sorry I was late, I was sitting in a cemetery with the librarian waiting for a vampire to rise so I could prevent an evil prophecy from coming to pass?' Xander: (weighs options with his hands) Or flat tire? Buffy: (starts walking) I can't take this anymore. I feel like everyone is staring at me, the big, hideous, dateless monster. (to a passing student) What? Yeah, that's right, I have no life, c'mon, nothin' to see here, pal, move it along! Cut to a different part of the hall. Xander: You're acting a little overly, aren't you? I mean, you could have any guy in school. Buffy: He's not any guy. He's more... Oweny. Xander: Sure, he's got a certain Owenosity, but that's not hard to find. (they reach his locker) I mean, a lotta guys read. (with a goofy smile) I can read. Buffy is leaning on the lockers looking down when she notices Owen come up to her. Owen: Hey, Buffy! Buffy: Owen! Xander: Oh, look, it's Owen. (gets a look from Buffy) Buffy and Owen. And Xander. That'd be me. Owen: W-where were you last night? Buffy: Oh. Well, um, my watch broke and we don't have any clocks in our house and so I didn't know what time it was or even what day it was... Owen: I thought I was the only one that happened to. How 'bout we try it again for tonight? I'll even lend you my watch. He hands her his gold pocket watch and chain. Xander looks at the watch in wide-eyed amazement. Buffy accepts it. Buffy: Tonight? Y-you and me? Xander looks at his Tweety wristwatch. Owen: Well, we could invite the chess club, but they drink and they start fights... Buffy: Oh, no, it's just... Well, I... sort of heard that... you and Cordelia were... somewhat... all over each other. A little... Owen: I danced with her a couple of times. (with a look of distaste) She's kinda grabby. Buffy: Oh, well, let's see, if I rearrange that, and I push that to n... Sure! Tonight'll work! Owen: Great! I'll pick you up at seven? Buffy: Um, seven! Owen: That's when the little hand's (points on the pocket watch) there. Buffy: Oh! Between the six and the eight. Owen: Um, I'll see you then! (leaves) Buffy: (watches him go) Tonight! Isn't that so? Xander: What? Buffy: (dreamily) Me and Owen! (walks off) Xander: (feeling down) Yeah, so it is. (closes his locker) It sure is so. Cut to Giles' office. He has a headache from researching and is just sitting down to have some tea. Buffy barges in. Buffy: Hey, how's it going? Giles: Uh, alright. Buffy: That's great! I see we're still working on that Anointed One problem, that'll probably take you a few days, right? I mean, that's one obscure prophecy... Giles: Well, yes, there are a few interpretations... Buffy: So tonight's looking slow, right? Probably best to relax and regroup, no big disasters coming, that is *so* good, I will see you tomorrow then! Bye! (leaves quickly) Giles: She is the strangest girl. Cut to the Master's lair. The brethren give him their attention. Master: You have done well. Everything is in place. When this night's work is done, I will have a mighty ally. I'll be one step closer to freeing myself from this... mystical prison. (feels his confines) I've been trapped down here so long I've nearly forgotten what it's like on the surface. Well, there'll be time enough to remember... when I rule it! If she tries to stop you, kill her. Give your own lives, but do not fail to bring the Anointed. I know you won't disappoint me. (quickly grabs a fly from the air) Bug! Cut to Buffy's room. She's wearing her bathrobe, and Willow is helping her decide on an outfit. Willow: Pick! Buffy: (to Xander) Okay, (Willow holds up one minidress) do I wanna appear shy, coy and naive or (Willow holds up the other) unrestrained, insatiable and aggressive? Xander: (watching from the bed) Uh, y'know, Owen is a little home spun, he probably doesn't like that overly assertive look. (goes to her closet) Oh, hey, here's something. A nice comfy overcoat and a ski cap! (holds them up to her) The earflaps will bring out your eyes! Buffy and Willow exchange a look. Buffy: Maybe I should mix and match. (Willow nods) Okay, guy's opinion. (grabs two lipsticks from her desk) Which one do you think Owen will like better? (holds them up) The red or the peach? Xander: Oh, you mean for kissing you and then telling all his friends how easy you are so the whole school loses respect for you and then talks behind your back? The red's fine. Buffy: Thanks. I'll go with the peach. (puts on the lipstick) Willow: (hands Buffy a third minidress) Here, put this on. Buffy and Willow look at Xander. Xander: You're not bothering me! Willow sighs, turns him around and pushes him away. Willow: (to Buffy) So, where's he taking you? Buffy: Oh, I don't know. Where do you suppose young kids go on dates these days? (unties her bathrobe) Xander goes over to her drawer chest and tries to angle the mirror inside a box so he can see. Willow: Well, I read somewhere once that sometimes they go to movies. Buffy: (finishes pulling on the minidress) Movies! Interesting! Willow: And I saw on TV once, a bunch of people our age went to a party. Buffy: (pulls on a boot) Wow! I never knew being a teenager was so full of possibilities! (pulls on the other boot) Xander fumbles with the box. Buffy and Willow look over at him. The door bell rings. Buffy: (excited) That's Owen! Cut to Buffy opening the door. Buffy: That's Giles. Giles: We need to talk. Buffy: Buffy's not home. (tries to close the door) Giles: (pushes the door open and comes in) My calculations may not have been as far off as I thought. (holds up a newspaper) Buffy: (reads) 'Five Die in Van Accident'? Giles: Out of the ashes of five shall rise the one. That's the prophecy. Five people have died! Buffy: In a car crash. Giles: I know it doesn't quite follow, but, but it's worth investigating. Look! Among the dead was Andrew Borba, whom the police sought for questioning in a double murder. Now, he may be the Anointed One. The, the bodies have been taken to, to Sunnydale Funeral Home, w-we can... Buffy: (interrupts) Giles, why do you wanna hurt me? Giles: I beg your pardon? Owen: (shows up at the open door) Hey! (comes in) Uh, hi! Giles: You have a date? Buffy: Yes, but I will return those overdue books by tomorrow. Giles: Wait, you're not getting off that easily. Owen: Man, you really care about your work! Willow: (thinking quickly) Uh, Owen? Xander: Yeah, a couple of things about tonight. Willow and Xander lead Owen into the living room. Giles: Another date? Don't you ever do anything else? Buffy: This is the first date! There's never been a date, okay? This is my maiden voyage! Cut to the next room. Owen: What, she doesn't like to dance? Xander: Well, it's a little too late to do anything about that. Uh, you should probably know that Buffy doesn't like to be kissed. Actually she doesn't like to be touched. Willow: Xander... Xander: As a matter of fact, don't even look at her. Cut back to the foyer. Buffy: We don't even know if this is anything. Giles: No, we don't. Buffy: And I haven't had a day off in a while. Giles: True... Buffy: And a cranky Slayer is a careless Slayer! Giles: Buffy, maintaining a normal social life as a Slayer... i-i-is problematic at best. Buffy: This is the 90's. The 1990's, in point of fact, and I can do both. Clark Kent has a job. I just wanna go on a date. Giles: Well, I, I suppose it was a fairly slim lead... Buffy: (pleased) Thank you, thank you, thank you! And look, I won't go far, okay? If the apocalypse comes, beep me. Owen: (comes back) Is everything cool? Buffy: All set. Giles: Yes, and, uh, you'll face a pretty hefty fine in the morning. Buffy: Well, bye. Don't wait up. (leaves quickly with Owen) Willow: Is something going on? Giles: Oh, uh, probably not, no. I, uh, I suppose I'll just, uh, go to the funeral home in case, just see if anything comes up. (leaves) Willow: (to Xander, concerned) This is bad. Xander: I wish it was just bad. Willow: We should... go along. Xander: Yeah, you're right. I don't trust that Owen guy. It's the eyes. Crazy! Willow: Xander, we should go with Giles! He could get in trouble! Xander: Oh, he's gone, uh, it's, he's gonna be alright. He's like super librarian, y'know? Everyone forgets, Willow, that knowledge is the ultimate weapon. Cut to the Bronze. Velvet Chain is playing tonight. They begin with "Strong". Owen and Buffy are sitting at a table talking. Lyrics: I'll be right along / 'Cause, baby, you're so strong Owen: The thing about Emily Dickinson I love is, is she's just so incredibly morbid. A lot of loss, a lot of death... It gets me. With a lot about bees, for some reason. Buffy: Did she have a tragic and romantic life? With a lotta bees? Owen: Quiet. Kind of sequestered and uneventful. Which I can really relate to. I... don't get out much. Buffy: I don't get that. Owen: It's my fault. I just find most girls pretty frivolous. I mean, there's a lot more important things in life than dating, y'know? (Buffy looks down at her beeper) Oh. Did I say something wrong? Buffy: Uh, no! Come on. She leads Owen to the dance floor. Lyrics: Baby, baby, I know it's always been so / Physical love is, oh, so meaningful for you Buffy and Owen dance close. Owen: It's weird. Buffy: What is? Owen: You! One minute you're right there. I've got you figured. The next, it's like you're two people. Buffy: Really? Which one do you like better? Owen: I'll let you know. Lyrics: So strong / Baby, I'm yours / You know / Because you're so / So strong Cut to Cordelia entering the Bronze with some of her friends. She sees Buffy with Owen. Cordelia: Aren't there laws against this sort of thing? (walks over to Buffy and Owen) Owen! Look at you, here all alone... Lyrics: You're so, so strong Owen: Cordelia, I'm here with Buffy. Cordelia: Oh! Okay. Do you wanna dance? Owen: No, I'm still here with Buffy. Cordelia: You are so good to help the needy. Buffy: Cordelia, Owen and I would like to be alone right now, and for that to happen, you would have to go somewhere that's away. Cordelia: (gives Buffy a look) (to Owen) Well, when you're ready for the big leagues, let me know. (leaves) Lyrics: You would suffer, suffer for me Cut to the Sunnydale Funeral Home. Giles drives up in his ancient car. It's quiet. He gets out, slings his bag over his shoulder and starts around his car to the building. The night is creepy, and he has a look around. He continues toward the building, but stops short when he senses something. He looks around again to his right. Nothing. As he turn back he sees one of the brethren in front of him. He starts to back away, but another one is behind him. Giles: Damn! ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ In front of the Sunnydale Funeral Home. Giles is caught between two of the brethren of the Order of Aurelius. He pulls a cross from his bag and holds it up to them. They cower away in pain. Giles makes a dash for the building. Cut inside. Giles looks around and puts his cross back into his bag. He runs to the flower room door and finds it locked. The brethren come into the building after him. Cut to the Bronze. Velvet Chain is playing their next song, "Treason". Lyrics: I have a window in my mind / I can turn to look right through you Owen: Are you, uh, having fun? Buffy: Yeah. I almost feel like a girl. Lyrics: Won't cost you anything but time / To see me feel like you do They smile at each other and continue to dance. Cut to the funeral home. Giles finds the door to the morgue unlocked and rushes in. He slams the door behind him and looks around. He grabs a filing cabinet, tilts it and drags it over to block the door. It works, the brethren can't readily open it. Giles looks around for a way out. The windows are barred. He sees Willow and Xander through the bars. Giles: (startled) AH! Willow: (Willow and Xander raise the window sash) Giles, it's us! Giles: What are you doing here? Xander: We saw two guys going in after you. Are they... Giles: (looks at the door) They are! (looks back) Uh, listen, you should get to safety. Willow: Can you get out this window? Giles: (tests the bars) I'm afraid not. Xander: Look, I hate to state the obvious, but this looks like a job for Buffy? Giles: Uh, she has her, her... beeping thing! (looks around) Um, no phone, of course. Xander: Look, we'll get her, just, uh, hang in there. (Willow and Xander leave) Giles: (worried) Do hurry. Cut to the Bronze. Owen and Buffy are standing by the stairs. Owen: Do you want something to eat? Buffy: Sure. Just make it something fattening. Cordelia: (looking on from the shadows by a door) What a disgusting display. Is that really appropriate behavior in a public forum? I mean, I've never seen a girl throw herself at a guy like that. Uhhh! The door opens and Angel comes in. Cordelia: Ooo! Hello, salty goodness! (to her friend) Pick up the phone, call 911. That boy is gonna need some serious oxygen after I'm through with him. She starts to follow Angel, but stops when she sees him go over to Buffy. Angel: Buffy. Buffy: Angel. Cordelia: (to herself) Why is this happening to me? Angel: (to Buffy) I was hoping I'd find you here. Buffy: You were? Angel: Some serious stuff happening tonight. You need to be out there. Buffy: No, not you, too. (tries to leave) Angel: (stops her) What do you know? Buffy: Prophecy, Anointed One, yada, yada, yada... Angel: So you know. Fine. I just thought I'd warn you. Buffy: Warn me? You see that guy over there at the bar? (walks around him and faces Owen) He came here to be with me. Angel: You're here on a date? Buffy: (turns to Angel) Yes! Why is it such a shock to everyone? Owen: (returns) Here you go. Buffy: Oh. (looks between Angel and Owen) Um, Owen, this is Angel. Angel, this is Owen. (puts her arm around him) Who is my date. Angel: Hey. Owen: Hey! So. Where do you know Buffy from? Angel: Work. Owen: (to Buffy) You work? Willow and Xander come running up to them, out of breath. Willow: Buffy! Owen: Look at this! You show up everywhere. Interesting. Xander: (points at Owen) You don't know the half of it. (points at Angel) What's he doing here? Angel: I guess it's the same thing you're doin' here. Buffy: Uh, excuse me, what are *any* of you doing here? Xander: Look, we gotta get to, uh... (Willow kicks him) Uhhhh. We thought it'd be fun if, uh, we made this a double date! Willow and Xander put their arms around each other. Buffy: I didn't know you guys were seeing each other. Willow: Oh, yeah, well, we knew it would happen eventually, so we figured, hey! Why fight it? Owen: And you guys are thinking double? Xander: 'Cause of... (laughs nervously) ...the fun! Owen: (to Angel) And you're here because of work? Xander: Hey, maybe we should all go somewhere together. Buffy: Gee, that's so nice of you to ask, but Owen and I were, well, sort of... Owen and I. Xander: You know what'd be cool? The Sunnydale Funeral Home! Willow: (emphasizing) I've always wanted to go there! Buffy: The funeral home? Owen: Actually, that sounds kinda cool! Do you think we could all sneak in? Xander: We saw some guys in there before. They seemed to be (pointedly to Buffy) having fun! Buffy: (to herself) Bite me! She looks up at Angel. He gives her an 'I told you so' look. Buffy: (exhales) (to Owen) Um, Owen, I gotta go. Owen: I thought we were going to the funeral home. Buffy: No, you can't. I'll tell you what. I'll be back in a little while. Owen: Buffy... (leads her away) What's the deal? Do you wanna bail on me? Buffy: No! No... no... uh... You remember when you said I was like two different people? Well, one of them has to go. But the other one is having a really, really good time, and will come back. I promise. Owen just nods his head and watches her go. She comes back and lays a kiss on him. Then she really leaves with Willow and Xander close behind. Owen: (to Angel) She's the strangest girl! Cut to the funeral home. Everything seems quiet. Buffy, Willow and Xander come in through the front door. Buffy: Which way? Willow: The room's around back. They go off to their left. Around a corner they hit a dead end. Buffy: Damn it! Owen: (appears behind them) This is so cool! Buffy: Uh, Owen! You can't be here! Owen: Oh, and I suppose you guys are allowed? What are we doin' here? Are we gonna see a dead body? Buffy: Possibly several. (to Xander and Willow) Guys, watch him. (runs back the way they came) Owen: Is she mad? Willow: Oh, she just wants to make sure there're no guards so we don't get in trouble. Owen: Good thinking. Xander: (to Willow) Good thinking. They start after Buffy. Cut to Buffy quietly walking down the hall, looking and listening. She finds the morgue door open and goes in. The place is a shambles. Buffy: Giles? His bag is on the autopsy gurney. The window bars are torn open. She finds his cross. Suddenly one of the doors to a body storage drawer opens in front of her, and the drawer rolls out. Buffy jumps back, startled. Buffy: Giles! Giles: It *is* you. Oh, good. Buffy: What happened? Giles: Uh, two more of the brethren came in here. They came after me. But I was more than a match for them. Buffy: Meaning...? Giles: I hid. Uh, this, uh, chap was good enough to bunk with me till they went away. (he jumps down off of the cadaver) Buffy: Well, w-were they here after you, or w-was it that prophecy thing? Giles: Ah, well, that's what we have to find out. I don't know what these brethren mean to do exactly. Find the Anointed, or, or, or, or give him something perhaps, uh, it's all, all very vague. And the Anointed may be long gone! Buffy: But he may not be. Giles: We must find out. Buffy: Okay, I just need to get Owen and the others out of harm's way first. Giles: Owen? You brought a date? Buffy: (exhales) I didn't bring him, he came. Giles: Buffy, when I said you could slay vampires and have a social life, I didn't mean at the same time. Buffy: I know. I'll get rid of him. (starts to leave) Giles: Y-you can't make him go out there alone, we don't know where the brethren are. I-I'll just... Buffy: No! No, Giles, he sees you, he's gonna have more questions than he already does right now. I'll take care of it. She runs out into the hall and looks around for the others. They come around a corner and see her. Willow: Is everything okay? Buffy: It is. Xander: And we'll be leaving? Owen: We're not done lookin' around yet! Buffy: No, he's right. So let's find a nice, safe, fun room to look around in. She takes Owen's hand and leads the group down the hall. They reach the office door. Owen: We tried the office here, but it's locked. Buffy: (breaks the lock) No it's not! (goes in) Owen: Well, I don't think we'll find much in here. Buffy: (looks around) That's the plan. Owen: Okay. (confused) What? Buffy: (finished looking) I have to go now. (laughs nervously) Um, to the bathroom, I have to go to the bathroom. If you hear anything, like a security guard or something, just be really quiet. (to Willow and Xander) And barricade the door. She goes out into the hall again and looks around on her way back to the morgue. Xander closes the office door. Cut to the morgue. Buffy and Giles start looking through the body drawers hoping to find the Anointed One. Buffy: (opens one) Ewww, parts! Giles: Keep looking, he must be here somewhere. Cut to the office. Willow and Xander start to pile furniture in front of the office door. Owen: What are you guys doing? Willow: Uh, just in case! Owen sees a curtain and draws it open. Behind the window he sees a body covered with a sheet. Owen: Oh, my! Willow and Xander turn around to look. Cut to the morgue. Buffy and Giles are still looking. There's only one storage cell left. Giles opens it quickly and Buffy pulls out the drawer. It's empty. Buffy: Nothing. Giles: The Anointed must be gone. Buffy: I guess. I mean, this is where they keep all the dead bodies, right? Giles: Mm-hmm. Cut to the office. Owen is looking at the body with fascination. Willow and Xander look worried. Owen: I read a lot about death, but... but I've... never really seen a dead body before. The body's hand moves. Owen: Do they... usually move? The hand moves again. Willow and Xander approach to have a closer look. The hand reaches up and pulls the sheet off. Andrew sits up and faces them. He is a vampire now. He stands up, looks down at himself and flexes his hands. He looks back up at them. Andrew: I have been judged! ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ The mortuary office. Owen: What's goin' on? They back away from the window slowly. Andrew approaches the window and smashes it with his forehead. Cut to the morgue. Buffy and Giles hear the window being smashed. Buffy: Oh, no! She starts running to the office. Cut to the office. Andrew: (laughs) He is risen in me! He fills my head with song! Owen, Willow and Xander frantically begin moving the furniture away from the door. Andrew steps through the opening. Andrew: Pork and beans. Pork and beans! Xander: (to Willow) Gimme that! Andrew: I can smell you. They get the furniture moved. Willow opens the door and they run out. Andrew follows at a quick pace. Andrew: You're the chaff, unblessed. I'll suck the blood from your hearts, he says I may! Cut to the hall. Buffy meets them running down the hall. Xander: He's in there! Buffy: Uh, go! Get out! Xander: She'll be okay. C'mon! They continue running. Buffy tries to find Andrew. She can hear him singing as he comes down the hall toward her. Andrew: Shall we gather at the river? / The beautiful, the beautiful river? She decides to try to head him off another way. Xander, Willow and Owen find the exit, but are blocked by the brethren. Willow screams. Xander pulls her around and behind himself. Instead of attacking, the brethren close the gates. The hall is empty, but they can hear Andrew singing. Willow: I think he's coming this way! They run and find themselves at the same dead end as when they first got there. Owen: Oh, God, this is too much! Cut to the morgue. Giles is still there. Buffy rushes in. Buffy: What've you got? Giles: What? Buffy: What'd you bring? Do you have a stake? Giles: Oh, uh... (hands her a stake.) Buffy: Thank you! (starts back out the door) Giles: W-what should I do? Buffy: (faces Giles) Um, go outside and make sure the others are okay. Andrew comes up behind Buffy, grabs her and throws her into a cabinet. She hits the floor unconscious. Giles rushes to her aid. Giles: Buffy! Cut to the hall. Owen: Somebody's gotta help Buffy! Willow: Owen! Owen starts to run to the morgue. Willow and Xander follow. Cut to the morgue. Buffy is awake again, but still on the floor. Andrew approaches Giles. Andrew: They told me about you while I was sleeping. Giles holds up his cross. It is painful to Andrew. Andrew: Uh! Why does he hurt me? He slaps Giles' hand away, and the cross goes flying. He grabs Giles and throws him into the crematory controls. The fires in the chamber light. Giles falls unconscious. Andrew bends down to pick Buffy up. Owen comes running in. Owen: Buffy! Andrew raises her above his head. Owen: No! He grabs a tray and swings it into Andrew's back, stunning him. His knees buckle and he lets go of Buffy. She staggers into an open body drawer door and falls down unconscious. Andrew turns, grabs Owen by the neck and growls as he moves in to bite. Owen grabs an urn from a rack and smashes it over Andrew's head. He falls. Owen goes over to help Buffy. She wakes up again and tries to get up. Owen: Did you see that? He tried to bite me! (helps Buffy up) What a sissy! Andrew gets back up, grabs Owen and smashes a body drawer door into the back of his head, knocking him out. Buffy: No! Andrew: Dead! (lets Owen fall) He was found wanting! Buffy gets him solidly in the gut with a front snap kick. He rolls over the autopsy gurney and onto the floor. She runs around to the far end of the gurney. Andrew quickly gets up. She pushes the gurney into his gut, and then pushes down on her end so it pivots up to hit him in the chin. He staggers back and falls. She jumps up onto the gurney and does a roundoff onto the floor as he gets up. He swings widely at Buffy's face, but she blocks it. He tries again with his other arm, hitting Buffy solidly in the face and knocking her to the ground. He taunts her as she quickly gets up. Buffy: You killed my date! Willow and Xander appear at the door. Willow sees Owen wake up as Buffy and Andrew fight. Willow: Buffy! Owen's... Xander: (pulls Willow back) J-just give her a sec! Buffy blocks another punch, and then hits Andrew in the face with an open-hand punch. Blocking a second punch from him, she hits him in the gut with another open-hand punch. As he leans forward from the pain, she knees him in the gut, and then shoves him backward into a counter. Buffy: You killed my date! Giles regains consciousness. Andrew turns back to Buffy. Andrew: Your turn! He lunges at Buffy, but she sidesteps him and uses his forward momentum to launch him into the air. He lands on the gurney, and it rolls over to the crematory. The gurney stops when it hits, but Andrew continues to slide through the open door. Giles kicks the gurney away and slams the crematory door shut. Andrew screams. Buffy watches him burn through the small window. Then she notices Owen trying to sit up. Owen: Does anyone have an aspirin? Or sixty? Buffy: (goes to Owen) Owen! (crouches beside him) Owen: What happened to that guy? Buffy: Oh... We scared him away. Owen: Oh, good. 'Cause, y'know, I would've... Buffy: I know. Here... (helps him up) I'm sure this isn't exactly what you had in mind for our first date. Owen: (rubs his head) Yeah! I was hoping maybe we'd finish at Ben & Jerry's. Buffy: We still could... Owen: No, I, I, I think I'll just walk home. (starts to go, but stops) Uh, which way's home? Buffy: I'll get you there. Owen: No, I'll, I'll go it alone. Willow and Xander come over. Xander: We'll make sure he gets home safely. They lead Owen away. Buffy watches them go. Giles comes over behind her. Giles: Buffy, if I might, uh... Buffy: (cuts him off) Don't! (slowly walks out) Cut to the school. Buffy, Xander and Willow are walking along the balcony. Buffy: Well, did Owen say anything about me on the way home? Willow: Oh, you mean specifically about you? Buffy: Or generally... i-in the area, in the ballpark, any sort of indication? They round the corner and start down the stairs. Xander: Well, in that case, no. Willow: But he was pretty incoherent, so we might've missed it. Buffy: You think? Xander: No. Buffy: I knew it. I totally blew it last night! Xander: No, see, what you need is a guy who already knows your deepest, darkest secrets and still says, 'Hey! I like that girl!' Someone like... Buffy: (sees Owen) Owen! Willow: Well, heh... This is our stop. She walks around Buffy and drags Xander away with her. Owen: Hi. Buffy: Hi. (long awkward pause) This is going well. Owen: I don't really know how to say this, but... about last night... Buffy: You don't even have to. I'm sure you were pretty freaked out. Owen: Totally. (Buffy looks down) And... I was wondering when I could see you again. Buffy: (looks back up) Um, that was my hopeful ear. Could you repeat that? Owen: I think you're the coolest! Buffy: (smiles) Really? Owen: I mean, last night was incredible! I never thought nearly getting killed would make me feel so... alive! Buffy: (looks down and starts to walk) So that's why you wanna be with me. Owen: (follows her) Oh, absolutely! When can we do something like that again? Buffy: Something like... Owen: Like, walk downtown at three in the morning, a-and pick a fight in a bar. How about tonight? Buffy: Tonight would... (they stop walking) be... not a workable thing. Did I just say that? Owen: Tomorrow, then. I-I'm free any night this week. Buffy: I'm not. Please don't take this personally. It's not you, it's me. Owen: (begins to get it) Right. It's you. Buffy: And I was kinda hoping that... maybe you and I could still be... Owen: (very disappointed) I, I get it. You just wanna be friends. Buffy: That'd be nice. Owen: Friends. Yeah. Great. (leaves) Lyrics: The world will keep on turning / It'll all be there come morning / So tonight... Buffy: Yeah. Great. Lyrics: Let the sun fall down all around you (song by Kim Richey) Giles comes up behind her. They watch Owen leave. Buffy notices Giles and looks at him. He's at a loss. She goes over to sit on a bench. Giles follows her. Giles: I was ten years old when my father told me I was destined to be a Watcher. (sits next to her) He was one, and his, uh, mother before him, and I was to be next. Buffy: Were you thrilled beyond all measure? Giles: No, I had very definite plans about my future. I was going to be a fighter pilot. Or possibly a grocer. Well, uh... My father gave me a very tiresome speech about, uh, responsibility and sacrifice. Buffy: Sacrifice, huh? Giles: (looks toward Owen) Seems like a nice lad. Buffy: Yeah. But he wants to be danger man. You, Xander, Willow, you guys... you guys know the score, you're careful. Two days in my world and Owen really *would* get himself killed. Or I'd get him killed. (faces Giles) Or someone else. Giles: I, I went to the funeral home of my own free will. Buffy: And I should've been there. Giles: Buffy... Buffy: I blew it! Giles: I have volumes of lore, of prophecies, of predictions. But I don't have an instruction manual. We feel our way as we go along. And, I must say, as a Slayer, you're, you're doing... pretty well. Buffy: (smiles) Well. At least I did stop that prophecy thing from coming true. Giles: You did! Handily. No more Anointed One. And I would imagine the Master, wherever he is, is having a fairly bad day himself. He smiles. Buffy laughs back. Cut to the Master in his Lair. Master: (quotes scripture) 'And in this time will come the Anointed. And the Slayer will not know him. She will not stop him, and he will lead her into hell.' (kneels down next to Collin) Welcome, my friend. The Pack Written by: Matt Kiene & Joe Reinkmeyer Directed by: Bruce Seth Green Transcribed by: AleXander Thompson Copyright © 1997 Alexander Thompson ~~~~~~~~~~ Prologue ~~~~~~~~~~ In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. The Sunnydale Zoo. A sign points to the reptiles, elephants and the Hyena House. The camera pans down from the sign to Buffy walking along the path by herself. Kyle and his gang, Rhonda, Tor and Heidi, see her coming. Kyle: Oh, look. It's Buffy and all her friends. Buffy: That's a witty. Tor: Do you ever wonder why nobody cool wants to hang out with you? Buffy: Just thankful. Rhonda: Were you this popular at your old school? Before you got kicked out? The group laughs, and they continue on their way, leaving Buffy standing there alone. Tor: (at Buffy as they leave) Careful! She might beat you up! Cut to the elephants. Buffy is reading the plaque when Xander and Willow come running up. Xander: Hey! Buffy! Willow: You missed it! Buffy: Missed what? Xander: We just saw the zebras mating! (nods to Willow) Thank you, very exciting... Willow: It was like the Heimlich, with stripes! Buffy: (with mock disappointment) And I missed it. Yet somehow I'll find the courage to live on. (begins walking) Willow: (follows) Where were you? Buffy: Uh, I was looking at the fishes. Willow: Was it cool? Buffy: It was fishes. Xander: I'm feelin' that you're not in the field trip spirit here. Buffy: Well, it would... It's nothing, I... We do the same zoo trip at my old school every year. Same old, same old. Xander: Buffy, this isn't just about looking at a bunch of animals. This is about not being in class! Buffy: (brightens) You know, you're right! Suddenly the animals look shiny and new. Xander: Gotta have perspective. Cut to the monkeys. Lance is sketching them into his notebook. Kyle and his cronies approach him. Kyle: Lance! How's it goin'? Lance: Hey, Kyle. Kyle: So, is this like a, uh, family reunion? Lance: No. Kyle: I think it's a family reunion. It's so... touching. Doesn't anybody have a camera? (makes a sudden photo-taking gesture) Whapish! Rhonda: (behind Lance) Hey, does your mom still pick out your lice, or are you old enough to do that yourself now? Lance: Quit it, huh? (Tor takes his notebook) Hey! Guys, c'mon! It's got my notes in there! Mr. Flutie: (sees the commotion) What's going on here? I've had it up to here with you four! What're you doing? Kyle: Nothing. Mr. Flutie: Did I ask you to speak? Okay, I guess I did, but I want the truth. Lance? Lance: They weren't doing anything. Really! (lets out a nervous laugh) We were just playin' around. Mr. Flutie: Alright. (starts away, but turns back) I'll be watching you. (leaves) Kyle: (points at Lance) You! Came through big time. Rhonda: Way to go, Lance! (pats his shoulder) Tor: Flutie's been looking for a reason to come down on us. Lance: It's okay. Kyle: Come on, we're gonna check out the Hyena House. Lance: But I think it's off-limits. Kyle: And therein, my friend, lies the fun. Lance laughs, and they all go off toward the Hyena House. Cut to the Hyena House. It's closed, but they duck underneath the yellow barricade tape. Buffy, Willow and Xander see them go in. Willow: What are Kyle and his buds doing with Lance? Xander: Oh, playing with him as a cat plays with a mouse. Buffy: What is it with those guys? Willow: They're obnoxious. Professionally. Xander: Well, every school has 'em. So, you start a new school, you get your desks, some blackboards and some mean kids. Buffy: Yeah, well, I'd better extract Lance before... Xander: (interrupts) I'll handle it. This job doesn't require actual slaying. (goes in) Buffy: You don't think we should follow? Willow: Kyle and those guys are jerks, but they're all talk. Mostly. Buffy: (reconsiders) Why don't we... Willow: Yeah, why don't we? They duck under the tape and start in, but are caught in the act by a zookeeper. Zookeeper: Oh, hold it, hold it, are you blind, or are you just illiterate? Because hyenas are very quick to prey on the weak. Buffy: Oh, w-we were just gonna take... Zookeeper: You're not going in there. Anyone that does is in a world of trouble. Willow: No, no one's going in there. (she and Buffy come back out) Buffy: Why is it off-limits? Zookeeper: It's a quarantine. These hyenas just came in from Africa, so keep out. (cocks his eyebrow) Even if they call your name. Buffy: What are you talking about? Zookeeper: The Masai tribesmen told me that hyenas are capable of understanding human speech. They follow humans around by day, learning their names. At night, when the campfire dies, they call out to a person. Once they separate him, the pack (snaps his fingers) devours them. Cut inside the Hyena House. Kyle and the others tear through more tape blocking the way in and look around. Kyle: Cool! He and the girls walk up to the enclosure and look in. Lance stays back with Tor behind him. Lance: I don't see any hyenas. One of the hyenas growls and shows itself between some rocks. Lance: Okay! Now we've seen it. He tries to leave, but Tor stops him. Rhonda: Looks cute. Kyle: I think it looks hungry. (moves toward Lance) He and Tor grab Lance. Lance: No! Tor: C'mon, Spot! Lance: C'mon, stop it! Tor: Supper time! They drag him up the steps and lift him up to the bars. Lance: Guys! Stop! It's not funny! They press him into the bars and down on his neck. Lance: Ow! Stop it! It's not funny! Xander comes in, pulls their arms off of him and helps him away. Xander: (to Kyle) Why don't you pick on somebody your own species? Kyle: What, are *you* gonna get in my face? The hyenas growl. Xander, Kyle and the others look at them. The hyena's eyes flash green, and then two of the kid's eyes do. The hyena's eyes flash green again, and two more kid's eyes do. Cut to a shot from above of the sacred circle painted on the floor. Cut to Lance. He makes an anxious move to get away, but trips on a chair and falls. His notebook skids across the floor to the far wall. Kyle and the others turn and laugh when they see him. Lance gets up, retrieves his notebook and rushes out. Xander turns around now, too, and his eyes flash green. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ The Bronze. Cut inside. Willow and Buffy are coming from the bar. Buffy has a Coke and a croissant. They make their way over to an empty table. Willow: I thought Xander would be here by now. Buffy: Hmm, that'd make him on time. We couldn't have that! Willow: Did he seem upset at all on the bus back from the zoo? Buffy: About what? Willow: I dunno. He was quiet. Buffy: I didn't notice anything. (they sit) But then again I'm not as hyperaware of him as, oh, say, for example, you. Willow: Hyperaware? Buffy: Well, I'm not constantly monitoring his health, his moods, his blood pressure... Willow: (grins) 130 over 80! Buffy: (amused) You got it bad, girl! Willow: He makes my head go tingly. You know what I mean? Buffy: I dimly recall. Willow: But it hasn't happened to you lately? Buffy: Not of late. Willow: Not even for a dangerous and mysterious older man whose leather jacket you're wearing right now? Buffy: (in mock annoyance) Goes with the shoes! Willow: Come on, Angel pushes your buttons. You know he does. Buffy: I suppose some girls might find him good looking... (gets a look from Willow) ...if they have eyes, alright, he's a honey, but... it's just he's never around, and when he is, all he wants to do is talk about vampires, and... I, I just can't have a relationship... Willow: (sees Xander) There he is! Buffy: Angel? Willow: Xander! He walks into the club and checks out a girl on the way. She stares after him. He comes up to their table. Xander: Girls! Buffy: Boy! Xander: Sorry I'm late, I... just forgot that we were gonna be here. (sees Buffy's croissant) Hungry! (tears a piece off and eats it) Willow: Xander, you still want me to help you with geometry tomorrow? (Xander takes a swig of Buffy's cola) We can work after class... Xander: (gives Willow a thumbs-up) Yeah. (to Buffy) What is this crap? Buffy: Well, it *was* my buttery croissant. Xander: Man, I need some food! Birds live on this! Buffy and Willow look at each other and then at Xander. He looks back and forth at them. Xander: What? Buffy: What's up with you? Willow: Is something wrong? Did I do something? Xander: (to Willow) What could you possibly do? That's crazy talk. I'm just... restless. Willow: Well, we could go to the ice cream place... Xander: (points to the table) I like it here. He looks up and scans the area a bit, and then leans toward Buffy and sniffs her hair. Buffy: Okay, now what? Xander: You took a bath. Buffy: Yeah, I-I often do, I'm actually known for it. Xander: That's okay. Willow and Buffy exchange another look. Buffy: And the weird behavior award goes to... Xander sees Kyle and the others come in. Buffy sees them, too. "Reluctant Man", by Sprung Monkey, starts to play. Lyrics: Oh, Reluctant Man Buffy: Oh, great. It's the winged monkeys. Kyle and company come over to them. Lyrics: Who's afraid to touch the world / Why are you hiding? / What is the base of all your fears? Xander stares back at them. Lyrics: Do you find yourself in a cold cruel world Kyle stops at their table, and he and Xander stare each other down. Lyrics: Dark and desperate, scared and lonely? They go around to another table that's occupied. Lyrics: Selfish Man / Who never gave to no one else / What are you holding? / Is it worth the price you pay? Kyle: (to the boy at the table) Y'know, I don't understand why you're sitting at our table. Lyrics: 'Cause your eyes they see just what you want to see Rhonda: Yeah, shouldn't you be hovering over the football stadium with 'Goodyear' written on you? Lyrics: And I hope they're not staring blindly at me They all laugh. Xander was watching and laughs also as he turns back to Buffy. He stops laughing when he sees she doesn't think it's funny. Xander: Kid's fat. Cut to the school. Cut to the library. Giles is wearing protective gear while Buffy trains on him. She does a roundhouse kick followed by a high punch and a swinging middle punch to Giles' gloved hands. She continues, doing a full spin and finishing with a backhand punch. She does a full spinning jumping high wheel kick followed by a right middle punch, a high roundhouse kick and a front snap kick. Then she jumps high and does a twin straddle kick. She lands back on her feet and moves in to attack again, when Giles suddenly jumps back. Giles: Right! (Buffy stops short) That's enough training for one day. Buffy: Well, that last roundhouse was kinda sloppy. Are you sure you don't wanna do it again? Giles: (out of breath) No! No, no, that's fine. You just... run along to class. (Buffy goes) (to himself) While I wait for the feeling to return to my arms. Cut to the halls. Herbert the mascot has gotten loose. The students in the hall are startled and try to get away. Mr. Flutie chases the pig. Mr. Flutie: Look out! It's gotten loose! The camera dodges the students' legs from Herbert's point of view. Buffy comes around the corner, reacts quickly to catch him and picks him up. Mr. Flutie: Lordy, Herbert! Gave Mr. Flutie quite a scare, didn't he? Students, I'd like you all to met Herbert, our new mascot for the Sunnydale High Razorbacks! The students all clap. Buffy: He's so cute! Mr. Flutie: He's not cute. No! He's a fierce Razorback! (more clapping) Buffy: He doesn't look mean, Mr. Flutie. Mr. Flutie: He's mean, he's ready for action! See? (indicates Herbert's helmet with foam tusks) Here are the tusks... (gestures at a piece of serrated green foam tied to Herbert's back) the scary Razorback! Buffy: You're right. He's a fine mascot and will engender school spirit. Mr. Flutie: Uh, he better. Costs a fortune to feed him. (to Herbert) Alright, let's get you back into your cage. Herbert squeals when Buffy wants to hand him to Mr. Flutie. Mr. Flutie: (points behind himself) This way. Cut outside to Willow helping Xander with his geometry. Xander: I'm not getting this. Willow: It's simple, really. See, 'The bisector of a vertex is the line that divides the angle at that vertex into two equal parts.' Xander: It's like a big blur, all these numbers and angles. Willow: It's the same stuff from last week. You had it down then. Xander: Why do I need to learn this? Willow: 'Cause otherwise you'll flunk math? Xander: Explain the part where that's bad. (rubs the bridge of his nose) Willow: You remember, you fail math, you flunk out of school, you end up being the guy at the pizza place that sweeps the floor and says, 'Hey, kids, where's the cool parties this weekend?' We've been through this. (Xander rubs his right temple) Do you have a headache? (reaches up to him) Xander: (shakes her off) Yeah, and I think I know what's causing it. (throws his geometry book into the trash) Ah! That's better, it goes right to the source of the pain. Willow: Xander... Xander: (frustrated) Look, forget it, okay? I don't get it. I won't ever. (gets up) I don't care. He throws his math notebook into Willow's lap and leaves in a huff. Willow: (watches Xander go) We can finish this another time. Cut to the halls. Buffy follows Mr. Flutie to the faculty room with Herbert in her arms. They stop outside. Mr. Flutie: See, the problem is you kids today have no school spirit. Hold on, let me get his outfit off. (removes it) Today it's all gangs and drugs and those movies on Showtime with the nudity. (Buffy gives him a look) I don't have cable, I only heard. When I was your age we cared about the school's reputation and the football team's record, all that stuff! Of course, when I was your age I was surrounded by old guys telling me how much better things were when they were *my* age. (goes into the faculty room) Buffy: (to Herbert) Yeah! Xander comes into the hall from outside. Herbert squeals and reacts to his presence as he walks by. Buffy looks confused as she watches Xander pass, and tries to keep Herbert from jumping out of her arms. Cut outside. Lightning strikes. Cut to the gym. Coach Harrold: Alright, it's raining, all regular gym classes have been postponed, so you know what that means: (holds up a large rubber ball) dodgeball! Now, for those of you that may have forgotten, the rules are as follows: you dodge. He tosses the ball to Buffy. He blows his whistle, and the two groups move back from center court. He whistles again and the ball throwing commences. Xander nails his first victim. Buffy and the pack members easily dodge the balls. The coach enjoys the game from the sidelines. Xander nails another victim. The coach continues to watch. Buffy throws a ball and hits her mark. Xander throws again and nails Willow hard on the back. She gives him a hurt and confused look as she walks off of the court. Xander catches a ball as he watches Willow go, but soon continues the game. Willow sits down, crosses her arms and keeps looking at him. A few seconds later just the pack and Lance are left on one side, Buffy on the other. The pack looks at her briefly, then focuses on Lance. He falls to the floor and cowers as they each throw their ball at him hard. Buffy runs over and helps Lance up. She stares at Xander. He stares back. She watches as he and the others leave. Coach Harrold: God, this game is brutal. I love it! Cut to the halls. Willow is waiting for Xander, and goes up to him when he comes from the other hall with the pack. Willow: Xander... What's wrong with you? He looks at the others briefly and pulls Willow aside. Xander: I guess you've noticed that I've been different around you lately. Willow: Yes. Xander: I think, um... I think it's because my feelings for you have been changing. Buffy comes around the corner to her locker and sees them. She works the combination. Xander: And, well, we've been friends for such a long time that I feel like I need to tell you something. Willow looks at him expectantly. Xander: I've, um... I've decided to drop geometry. So I won't be needing your math help anymore. Which means I won't have to look at your pasty face again. He and the others laugh. Willow is crushed. She turns and leaves. Buffy watches her quickly walk by. She slams her locker and approaches Xander with her arms crossed. He stops laughing. Buffy: You gonna say something to me? Xander just looks at her and starts laughing again more loudly. He goes back to the pack, and they leave. Buffy goes after Willow. Cut outside. The pack walks along. Xander stops and sniffs the air. Xander: Dogs! Kyle: Where? Xander leads them to a group of three boys sitting at a table. Boy#1: You're out of your mind, that's no way to play guitar. Boy#2: What are you talking about? Boy#1: I mean, that's just hunt and peck! Boy#2: It's not! Boy#1: (the pack arrives) Hey, Xander, you've heard Wretched Refuse play, what do you think of the guy who plays lead? Tor reaches for Boy#1's hotdog. Heidi takes Boy#2's hotdog. Boy#1: Hey. Hey, what are you guys... Rhonda: Shut up. Kyle: You're sharing. Xander: Friends like to share. (to Tor and Heidi) Good? Tor: It's too well-done. He throws the rest of the hotdog back on Boy#1's lunch, Heidi back on Boy#2's. Boy#1: Hey! That is *not* cool. Xander sniffs the air again and looks in the scent's direction. He leads them off. Kyle climbs onto the table and stomps the boys' lunches. Boy#1: Hey! Cut to the faculty room. They all come in. Xander inhales deeply through his nose. The other two boys go to close the blinds. They all approach the cage. Xander bends down to look at Herbert. Xander: Let's do lunch. The pig becomes nervous and squeals. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ Outside at school. Xander and the pack come walking in slow motion up the stairs from below the administrative offices to the quad. Several students stare at them as they walk by. "Job's Eyes", by Far, plays as background music. Lyrics: I'm sure this rain won't last / I'm sure its time is up / Though it's pouring down Lance walks by and just stops in front of them. They look at him and Xander sniffs him, but they keep walking right by. Lyrics: I'm sure this rain won't last / And it falls on Job's eyes / This water of doubt / And I'm wading in lies / It's wearing me out / But if you want it, alright / I'll buy it / I'll buy it / I'll buy it / I'll buy it / I'll buy it / I'll... Xander notices Buffy and Willow sitting and talking on the balcony above. His hearing has become sensitive and he overhears. Willow: I've known him my whole life, Buffy. Cut to the girls. Willow: (tears in her eyes) Well, we haven't always been close, but he's never... (exhales) Buffy: I think something's wrong with him. Willow: Or maybe there's something wrong with me. Buffy: What are you talking about? Willow: C'mon. He's not picking on you. He's just sniffing you a lot. I don't know, maybe three isn't company anymore. Buffy: You think this has something to do with me? Willow: Of course. Buffy: No. That still doesn't explain why he's hanging out with the dode patrol. (hops off the railing) Something's going on. Something weird. (starts to go) Willow: What're you gonna do? Buffy: Talk to the expert on weird. Cut to the library. Giles is going about his work. Buffy follows him as they talk. Giles: Xander's taken to teasing the less fortunate? Buffy: Uh-huh. Giles: And, there's been a noticeable change in both clothing and demeanor? Buffy: Yes. Giles: And, well, otherwise all his spare time is spent lounging about with imbeciles. Buffy: It's bad, isn't it. Giles: It's devastating. He's turned into a sixteen-year-old boy. Course, you'll have to kill him. Buffy: Giles, I'm serious. Giles: So am I. Except for the part about killing him. Testosterone is a great equalizer. It turns all men into morons. He will, however, get over it. Buffy: (exasperated) I cannot believe that you, of all people, are trying to Scully me. There is something supernatural at work here. (grabs some books) Get your books! Look stuff up! Giles: (takes the books) Look under what? Buffy: I don't know. (exhales) That's your department. Giles: The evidence that you've presented me with is sketchy at best. Buffy: He scared the pig. (Giles gives her a look) Well, he did... Giles: Buffy, boys can be cruel. They tease, they, they, they prey on the weak. I-i-it's natural teen behavior pattern. Buffy: What did you just say? Giles: Um, they tease. Buffy: They prey on the weak. I've heard that somewhere bef... (it clicks in her mind) Xander has been acting totally wiggy ever since we went to the zoo. Him and Kyle and all those guys, they went into the hyena cage. Oh, God, that laugh... Giles: You're saying that, uh, Xander's becoming a hyena. Buffy: I don't know. Or been possessed by one? Not just Xander, all of them. Giles: Well, I-I-I've cer-certainly never heard of, uh... Willow: (comes into the library) Herbert! They found him. Buffy: The pig? Willow: Dead. And also eaten. Principal Flutie's freaking out. Buffy: (to Giles) Testosterone, huh? Giles heads towards his office. Willow: What're you gonna do? Giles: Get my books. Look stuff up. Cut outside. Mr. Flutie is walking angrily. He sees Kyle and the others. Xander isn't with them. Mr. Flutie approaches them. Mr. Flutie: (angry) You four! Kyle: What? Mr. Flutie: Oh, don't think I don't know. Three kids saw you outside Herbert's room. You're busted! Yeah! You're goin' down. Rhonda: How is Herbert? Heidi: Crunchy! They all laugh. Mr. Flutie is incensed. Mr. Flutie: That's it! My office, right now. (they laugh more) Now! They stop laughing. Kyle gets off of the table and indicates for the others to follow. Mr. Flutie: You're gonna have so much detention, your grandchildren'll be staying after school. Cut to the library. Willow is at the table researching. Buffy is on the stairs behind her with a book. Buffy: Wow! Apparently Noah rejected the hyenas from the Ark because he thought they were an evil impure mixture of dogs and cats. Willow: Hyenas aren't well liked. Buffy: They do seem to be the schmoes of the animal kingdom. (comes over to Willow) Willow: Why couldn't Xander be possessed by a puppy or, or some ducks? Buffy: That's assuming 'possession' is the right word. Giles: (comes over from the cage) Oh, I'll say it is. The Masai of the Serengeti have spoken of animal possession for, for generations. I... I should have remembered that. Buffy: So how does it work? Giles: Well, apparently there's a, a sect of animal worshipers known as Primals. They believe that humanity, uh, consciousness, uh, the soul, is a, is a perversion, a dilution of spirit. Uh, to them the animal state is holy. They are able, through trans-possession, to, to, um, draw the spirit of certain animals into themselves. Buffy: And then they started acting like hyenas. Giles: Well, only the most predatory of animals are, are of interest to the Primals, so, uh, yes, yes, that would fit, yes. Buffy: So, what happens to the person once the spirit's in them? Giles: If it goes unchecked... He hands Buffy a book open to a certain page. She takes one look, slams the book shut and quickly gets up to go. Buffy: I gotta find Xander. Willow picks up the book and opens it to the bookmark. There's a drawing of people with limbs bitten off, heads missing and other massive injuries. Cut to the faculty room. Herbert's cage has been mangled. Buffy comes in and looks around. She inspects the cage. Buffy: (exhales) They are strong. She steps on something that crunches and crouches down to the floor. She finds parts of Herbert, some vertebrae and other bones. She picks up a rib. Xander comes in and stands behind her. Buffy gets back up and turns around, only to be startled by him. Buffy: Xander. She tries to evade him, but he's quick to match her movement. Buffy: (exhales) This is ridiculous. We need to talk. She fakes him out and jumps on him, knocking him down with her on top holding down his arms. Xander: (smiles) Been waitin' for you to jump my bones. Cut to Mr. Flutie's office. He stands in front of his desk and lectures Kyle and his friends. Mr. Flutie: I have seen some sick things in my life! Believe me! But this is beyond the pale! What is it with you people? The pack starts to whine and stalk him. Mr. Flutie: Is it drugs? How could you? A poor defenseless pig? (notices their behavior) What are you doing? Cut to the faculty room. Xander growls and rolls Buffy over onto her back so he's on top now and has her arms pinned down. Buffy: Get off of me. Xander: Is that what you really want? (Buffy struggles a bit) We both know what you really want. You want danger, don't cha? You like your men dangerous. Buffy: You're in trouble, Xander. You are infected with some hyena thing, it's like a demonic possession! Xander: Dangerous and mean, right? Like Angel. Your Mystery Guy. Well, guess who just got mean. Cut to Mr. Flutie's office. He goes around behind his desk to get away from the pack. They slowly approach. Mr. Flutie: Now, stop that! You're only gonna make things worse for yourselves. I tell you how this is gonna work: I am gonna call your parents, and they are gonna take you all home. He reaches for his phone, but Tor gets his hands on it first and tries to stare him down. Mr. Flutie looks at him a moment and then gestures to be given the phone. Tor gives it to him. Mr. Flutie: Thank you. He starts to pull the phone toward himself to dial, but Rhonda tears it away from him and throws it off of the desk. Rhonda: I'm sorry... Mr. Flutie: (furiously) That is it! He tries to get past them, but Kyle growls at him and he falls back into his chair. Cut to Buffy and Xander. He is still on top of her. Xander: Do you know how long... I've waited... until you'd stop pretending that we aren't attracted... Buffy throws him off of her and quickly gets up to face him. He gets up, too, and begins to approach her as she backs away. Xander: Until Willow... stops kidding herself... that I could settle with anyone but you? Buffy: Look, Xander, I don't wanna hurt you... He grabs her by the shoulders and pushes her against the vending machine. Xander: Now do you wanna hurt me? Buffy struggles, but the possessed Xander is too strong. Xander: Come on, Slayer. I like it when you're scared. She struggles a bit more. Xander: The more I scare you, (sniffs her) the better you smell. He moves in and kisses her roughly on the neck. Cut to Mr. Flutie's office. The pack continues to taunt and sniff him. Mr. Flutie: You're about this close to expulsion, people! (gets up) I'm willing to talk to the school counselor, and we can discuss options... He tries to go again, but Heidi stops him. Tor climbs onto his desk and growls at him. Mr. Flutie: (angrily) Get down from there this instant! Rhonda gets in his face and scratches his cheek with her nails. He falls back into his chair with his hand covering his face. He takes his hand away and sees the blood. Mr. Flutie: (terrified) Are you insane?! Tor jumps on him from the desk, and the rest of the pack descends on him and begins feeding. The camera closes in on a picture of Mr. Flutie on his desk. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ The library. Willow is watching footage of feeding hyenas on the PC. She looks up when she hears the door open and stops the playback. She sees Buffy dragging Xander into the library and goes over to them. Buffy: Hurry up. We gotta get him locked up somehow before he comes to. Willow: Oh, my God, Xander! What happened? Buffy: I hit him. Willow: With what? Buffy: A desk. Willow opens the cage door, and Buffy drags him in. Buffy: He tried his hand at felony sexual assault. Willow: Oh, Buffy, the hyena in him didn't... Buffy: No. (they arrange him on the floor of the cage) No, but it's safe to say that in his animal state his idea of wooing doesn't involve a Yanni CD and a bottle of Chianti. (locks the cage) There, that oughtta hold him. Where's Giles? Willow: He got called to some teacher's meeting. What are we gonna do? I mean... how do we get Xander back? Giles comes into the library. Buffy: Right now I'm a little more worried about what the rest of the pack are up to. Giles: The rest of the pack were spotted outside Herbert the mascot's cage. They were sent to the principal's office. Willow: Good! That'll show 'em. (Giles is silent) Did it show 'em? Giles exhales but remains silent, searching for what to say. Buffy: They didn't hurt him, did they? Giles: They, uh... ate him. Willow has to sit down. She and Buffy can't believe what they just heard. Buffy: They ate Principal Flutie? Willow: Ate him up? Giles: The, uh, official theory is that wild dogs got into his office somehow. There was no one at the scene. Willow: But Xander didn't. (to Buffy) He, he was with you. Giles: (sees Xander in the cage) Oh! Uh, well, that's a small mercy. Buffy: Giles, how do we stop this? How do you trans-possess someone? Giles: I-I'm afraid I still don't have all the pieces. Um, the accounts of the Primals and their methods are a bit thin on the ground. There is some talk of a-a-a predatory act, but the exact ritual is, is, um... (thinks, picks up a book) The Malleus Maleficarum deals in particulars of demonic possession, which... may apply... (looks through a few pages) Yes, one, one should be able to transfer the spirits to another human. Buffy: Oh, that's great. Any volunteers? Giles: Oh. Good point. Buffy: What we need to do is put the hyena back in the hyena. Giles: B-but until we know more, uh... Buffy: Betcha that zookeeper could tell us. Maybe he didn't quarantine those hyenas because they were sick. Giles: We should talk to him. Buffy: Okay. (starts to go but stops) Oh, wait, somebody's gotta watch Xander. Willow: (gets up) I will. Buffy: Will, are you sure? If he wakes up... Willow: (holds her hand out for the keys) I'll be alright. Go. After a moment's hesitation Buffy gives Willow the keys to the cage and grabs her coat. Buffy: (to Giles) C'mon. Willow watches them leave, then looks over at Xander in the cage. She slips the keys into her pocket. Cut outside at night. A young woman with her baby in a backpack walks through some bushes and sees the pack lying on the ground, sleeping after their meal. The pack wakes and sees the woman. She becomes panicy and slowly backs up, almost stepping on Tor. She turns suddenly when she hears him growl. He drools heavily. The members of the pack slowly crawl toward her. The woman finally turns and runs, and the pack lies back down to rest some more. Cut to the library. Xander wakes up. Xander: Willow. She is watching the hyena video again. She stops it and turns to look at him. Willow: How are you feeling? Xander: Like somebody hit me with a desk. (looks around) What am I doin' here? Willow: (gets up and goes toward the cage) You're... resting? Xander: You guys got me locked up now. (stands up) Willow: 'Cause you're sick. Buffy said... Xander: (interrupts) Oh, yeah. Buffy and her all-purpose solution: punch 'em out 'n' knock 'em down. I'd love to see what she'd do to somebody who was *really* sick. Willow: That's not fair. Buffy saved both of our lives. Xander: Before she came here our lives didn't need that much saving, did they? Weren't things a lot simpler when it was just you and me? Willow: (moves closer) Maybe... Xander: When we were alone together... Willow, I know there's something wrong with me. I think it's gettin' worse. But I can't just stand around waitin' for Buffy to decide it's time to punch me out again. (exhales) Look, I want you to help me. I want you. Willow: I am helping you. Xander: (exhales) You're doing what you're told. Willow: Buffy's trying to help you, too. You know that. Or Xander does. Xander: Yeah... Buffy's so selfless. Always thinking of us. Well, if I'm so dangerous, how come she left you alone with me? Willow: I told her to. Xander: Why? Willow: 'Cause I know you better than she does... and I wanted to be here to see if... you were still you. Xander: You know I am. Look at me. (long pause) Looook. Willow: (moves even closer, whispers) Xander... He makes a grab for her through the book return slot in the cage, but she jerks back in time. Willow: Now I know. Xander: (bangs on the cage) LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT! Cut to the zookeeper's office. Zookeeper: The students have been possessed by the hyenas? Giles: Yes. Zookeeper: Are you sure? Buffy: We're really, really sure. Giles: Y-you don't seem enormously surprised by this. Zookeeper: The zoo imported those hyenas from Africa. There was something strange about them from day one. I did some homework... That particular breed is very rare. Totally vicious. Historically they were worshipped by these guys... Giles: Primals. Zookeeper: Yeah! Creepy guys! Now, they had rituals for taking the hyena spirits, but I-I don't see how that coulda happened to your kids. Giles: Uh, we don't know exactly how the ritual works. We know that it involves a, um, um... predatory act and some kind of symbol. Zookeeper: Predatory act? Of course. That makes sense. Where did you read that? Giles: Do you have Sherman Jeffries' work on, on cults and on... Buffy: (impatiently) Boys? Giles: Sorry. Zookeeper: Look. Giles: (raises his hand slightly) Sorry. Zookeeper: Look. I think we may have enough information so that together we could pull off a reverse trans-possession. Buffy: What do we do? Zookeeper: We've gotta get those possessed students over to the hyena cage right away. I'll meet you there. We can begin the rituals. Buffy: W-well, we can guarantee one of them, but there are four more, and we have no idea where they are. Zookeeper: No, I wouldn't worry about that. After hyenas feed and rest they will track the missing member of their pack until they find him. They should come right to you. Buffy: (worried) Willow! Cut to the library. Willow is watching the hyena video again. Xander paces in the cage. Xander: Willow... Willow: I'm not listening. Cut to the small arched windows high up on the wall. Kyle appears at one, Heidi at the other. Kyle: Wiiillooow... ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ The library. Kyle is looking in through the window. Kyle: Wiiillooow... Willow: (turns to the cage) Xander, shut up! Kyle: Wiiillooow... She looks up at the window where the sound is coming from, sees Kyle and startles. Kyle and Heidi kick in the windows. Willow gets up and runs from the library. The pack comes in as Xander kicks and pounds at the cage. Kyle manages to bend over the corner of the door. The others start banging at the cage, too. Cut to the hall. Willow stops at the intersection. Cut to the library. The pack pulls down the door, freeing Xander. They whine and sniff each other. Cut to the hall. Willow runs to a door and tries it, but finds it locked. Cut to the library. Xander looks toward the library doors and begins tracking Willow. The others follow. Cut to the hall. Willow runs to another door on the other side of the hall and finds it open. She goes in and closes the door behind her. The pack reaches the hall intersection and sniffs around for Willow's scent. Cut inside the classroom. Willow hides under the teacher's desk. Cut to the hall. The pack splits up and begins searching for Willow. Xander and Heidi come down the hall. He keeps sniffing. He looks at the door that Willow went through and goes into the classroom with Heidi. Willow stays quiet under the desk. Xander looks around and sees nothing. He motions with his head for them to leave. When Willow hears the door close she comes out from under the desk. She looks toward the door, sees Xander and screams as she jumps back against the window blinds. Xander growls and leaps over the desk at her. She runs around the desk to get away and tips over a student desk to block Xander's way. He comes after her and trips over the desk. Willow runs out of the door, but is met by Heidi. Buffy comes up behind Heidi and hits her on the back with a fire extinguisher, knocking her down and out. Willow comes out of the room and goes over to Giles. Xander has gotten up and rushes Buffy. She kicks him, and he falls in the hall outside the classroom also. Buffy discards the extinguisher. The other three pack members appear at the end of the hall. Giles: Run! They come running. Giles and Willow run back into the classroom, and Buffy follows, closing and locking the door behind her. The pack pounds on the door but can't get in and soon leaves. Buffy: I think they're going. Willow: They could be faking it. Buffy: No, they're hungry. They'll be looking for somebody weak. I'm really sorry, Will. I didn't know they were gonna come after Xander. Willow: (shaken) It's okay. Giles: We must lead them back to the zoo if we're going to stop this. Buffy: And before their next meal. Guess that's my job. Giles: Well, individually they're almost as strong as you. As a group they're... Buffy: They're tough, but I think they're getting stupider. You guys go to the zoo and I will bring them to you. (leaves) Cut to a house where a family is coming out. Mr. Anderson: I didn't say she looks better than you, I said she looks better. Mrs. Anderson: I heard what I heard. (to her son) Joey, chew! You have to chew or you'll choke! They get into their Jeep. Mr. Anderson: I don't see why we have to have this conversation every time we see them. Mrs. Anderson: I didn't start it. (puts on her seatbelt) Mr. Anderson: (looks at the ignition) Damn. Where are the keys? Mrs. Anderson: Huh? They hear Joey's name being called from outside and begin to look around. Kyle looks down from the Jeep's roof into Joey's window. The mother screams. Two others climb onto the hood and slap the windshield. Xander is at the window opposite Kyle. They all pound on the car. Mr. Anderson: What going on?! Hey! Get off! Get off of there! Xander breaks the window with his elbow. Joey: Get away! Xander growls and reaches in for Joey. His mother reaches back to try to protect him. Mrs. Anderson: Joey! Joey! Joey! Buffy comes running up, grabs Rhonda and throws her off of the hood to the ground. She climbs to the roof and does an in-to-out crescent kick, knocking Kyle off. She looks down at Xander's feet sticking out of the window. Mrs. Anderson: Joey! Buffy: Didn't your mom teach you? (Xander hears her) Don't play with your food. Xander crawls out and looks up at her. The pack gathers around him and looks up at her. She straightens up and puts her hands on her hips. Buffy: C'mon. You know what you want. She turns, jumps off of the car and starts running down the street. The pack gives chase. Cut to the Hyena House. Giles and Willow arrive at a run. Willow: The pathway to the Hyena House. Where's the zookeeper? Giles: Uh, he must be inside. I-I'll go in and prepare things. You just warn, uh, us when you hear Buffy and the others approaching. He runs in. Willow turns around to watch and wait. Cut to Buffy running through a stand of trees. The pack is close behind. Cut inside the Hyena House. Giles ducks under the tape and comes into the main area. Giles: Doctor? Uh... Zookeeper? He hears a door close and is startled by the zookeeper. He is all made up. Giles: Oh! Oh, of course, the, uh, Masai ceremonial garb. Yes... Very good. Are you, uh, otherwise prepared for the trans-possession? Zookeeper: (nods) Almost. Giles: (notices the markings on the floor) Oh, right! The, uh, sacred circle. Yes, you'd need that to, um... This would be here when... when the children first came. Why would you... (figures it out, exhales) How terribly frustrating for you, that a bunch of school children could accomplish what you could not. Zookeeper: It bothered me. But the power will be mine. Giles tries to get away, but the zookeeper hits him in the gut with his staff and again on the back, knocking him out. He tosses the staff aside and drags Giles away. Cut to Buffy, still running through the trees. Cut to outside the Hyena House. Willow hears them coming and runs in. Cut inside. Willow: They're almost here! Giles! Giles! (sees the zookeeper) Where are the hyenas for the trans-possession? Zookeeper: They're right here in the feeding area. Willow runs to see the hyenas, but he stops her. Zookeeper: Stay back! They haven't been fed. Willow: Where's Giles? Zookeeper: He's... laying in wait. Willow: They're almost here. Shouldn't you bring the hyenas out? Zookeeper: When the time is right. I'm gonna need your help. (begins binding her wrists) Cut outside. Buffy comes running in. Buffy: They're right behind me! Cut inside. Willow: That's Buffy! Get ready! The zookeeper takes Willow and positions her in front of him. Zookeeper: Here. Willow: What is this? Zookeeper: A predatory act, remember? (holds a knife to her throat) Willow: Uh, right. You'll pretend to slash my throat and, and put the evil in the hyenas? Zookeeper: Something like that. Willow realizes the zookeeper has other intentions. Buffy comes running in, but stops short when she sees Willow being held by the zookeeper. Willow: Buffy, it's a trap! Xander grabs Buffy from behind and they fall to the floor. The others come in and get on top of her, too. Zookeeper: YU BA YA SA NA! The pack looks up at him, and their eyes all flash green. Then the zookeeper's eyes flash green. He turns to Willow and growls. He drops the knife, grabs her head and moves in to bite her. Xander: Willow! He gets up and charges the zookeeper, knocking him down and away from Willow. The pack gets off of Buffy. The zookeeper gets up and punches Xander. Buffy gets up and punches the zookeeper. Kyle and his gang see the fight and begin to crawl away on their butts. The zookeeper charges Buffy, but she knocks him back down. He charges her again, and she tosses him over onto his back. He gets up and tries again. Buffy gets under him and throws him up and into the hyena pit. He tries to climb out, but is dragged back down by the hyenas. Kyle and company get up and scramble away. Buffy runs to the pit to see if she can save the zookeeper, but she's too late. She looks away as Xander comes over to untie Willow. Giles comes out of the back room. Giles: Uh, did I miss anything? Cut to the school the next day. The shot from the balcony shows Buffy, Willow and Xander walking across the quad. Willow: I heard the vice-principal's taking over till they can find a replacement. Buffy: It shouldn't be too hard to find a new principal. Unless they ask what happened to the last one. Xander: Okay, but I had nothing to do with that, right? They start to climb the stairs. Buffy: Oh, right. Willow: You only ate the pig. Xander: I ate a pig? Was it cooked and called bacon or... The girls shake their heads. Xander: (covering his face) Oh, my God! I ate a pig? I mean, the whole trichinosis issue aside, yuck! Buffy: Well, it wasn't really you. Xander: Well, I remember I was goin' on the field trip, and then goin' down to the Hyena House, and next thing some guy's holding Willow and he's got a knife. Willow: You saved my life. Xander: Hey! Nobody messes with my Willow. (gives her a hug) Buffy looks on and smiles. Willow smiles, too. Buffy: This is definitely the superior Xander. Accept no substitutes. Xander: I didn't do anything else, did I, around you guys or anything embarrassing? The girls smile, and Buffy considers what to tell him. Buffy: (shakes her head) Nah! Willow: Not at all. Buffy: (to Willow) C'mon. We're gonna be late. (takes her hand and they go) Willow: (to Xander) See you at lunch. Xander: Cool! Oh, hey, goin' vegetarian! Huh? He gives them two thumbs-up. Willow turns and smiles at him. So does Buffy. Xander starts to head the other way when he is met by Giles. Giles: I've been reading up on my, uh, animal possession, and I cannot find anything anywhere about memory loss afterwards. Xander: Did you tell them that? Giles: (leans to Xander's ear) Your secret dies with me. Xander: Shoot me, stuff me, mount me. Giles pats him on the shoulder as he shakes his head and starts walking along the balcony. He leans on the railing and watches Xander go. Xander can't believe what has happened to him. Angel Written by: David Greenwalt Directed by: Scott Brazil Transcribed by: AleXander Thompson Copyright © 1997 Alexander Thompson ~~~~~~~~~~ Prologue ~~~~~~~~~~ In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. The Master's lair. Collin is tossing stones into the pool. He takes a few more from the Master's hand. Darla comes into the lair. Master: Zachary didn't return from the hunt last night. Darla: The Slayer. Master: Zachary was strong, and he was careful. And still the Slayer takes him... as she has taken so many of my family. (takes a breath) It wears thin. Collin, what would you do about it? Collin: I'd annihilate her. Master: (inhales) Out of the mouths of babes... Darla: (makes her way down) Let me do it, Master. Let me kill her for you. Master: You have a personal interest in this. Darla: (disappointed) I don't get to have any fun. Master: I will send the Three. Darla: (intrigued) The Three? Cut to an alley. Three tough guys are lighting up cigarettes. The Three come around a corner at a steady, deliberate pace. The men see them coming and leave. Cut to the Bronze. A cockroach is being chased along the floor. Boy: Get it! Go get it, right there! Girl: I got it! She holds the roach up to the bartender and drops it into his jar. Girl: Free drink, please. The bartender nods his head and goes to get the drink. Willow: Ah, the fumigation party. Cut to Buffy and Willow sitting at a table. Buffy: Hmm? Willow: It's an annual tradition. The closing of the Bronze for a few days to nuke the cockroaches? Buffy: (not paying attention) Oh. Willow: It's a lot of fun... What's it like where *you* are? Buffy: (looks up and smiles) I'm... sorry, I was just... thinking about things... Willow: So, we're talking about a guy? Buffy: Not exactly a guy. For us to have a conversation about a guy, there'd have to be a guy for us to have a conversation about. Is that a sentence? Willow: (smiles) You lack a guy. Buffy: I do. Which is fine with me, most of the time, but... Willow: What about Angel? Buffy: Angel? I can just see him in a relationship. 'Hi, honey, you're in grave danger. I'll see you next month.' Willow: He's not around much, it's true. Buffy: (looks dreamily) When he is around... it's like the lights dim everywhere else. You know how it's like that with some guys? Willow: Oh, yeah! (looks over at Xander) Xander is on the dance floor, making a fool of himself. He dances up to a girl. Xander: Hey, Annie! (sees her boyfriend) Dino, just leaving! He backs away and bumps into Cordelia. Cordelia: Ouch! Please get your extreme oafishness off my two-hundred- dollar shoes! Xander: I'm sorry, I was just... Cordelia: ...getting off the dance floor before Annie Vega's boyfriend squashes you like a bug? Xander: Oh, so you noticed. Cordelia: Uh-huh. Xander: Yeah, thanks for being so understanding. Cordelia: Sure. Xander: Y'know, hey, I don't know what everyone's talking about. That outfit doesn't make you look like a hooker! (laughs) He leaves the dance floor and goes over to Buffy and Willow. Xander: Boy, that Cordelia is a regular breath of vile air. What are you vixens up to? Willow: Just sitting here, watching our barren lives pass us by. (sees a roach) Oh, look, a cockroach. (stomps it) Buffy lifts her eyes to see and then turns them back down. Xander: Whoa, well, let's stop this crazy whirligig of fun! I'm dizzy! Buffy: Alright, now I'm infecting those nearest and dear to me. I'm gonna call it a night. (gets up) Willow: Oh, don't go! Xander: Uh, yeah! It's early! We could, um, dance! Buffy: Rain check? Good night. (leaves) Xander lets out a breath. Willow holds her shoe up to him. Willow: Want a free drink? Buffy makes her way out of the Bronze looking bummed. She passes the stairs. Angel is watching her go. Buffy senses something and turns to look. Angel is gone. She continues out. Cut to the street. Buffy is walking home. She senses something and stops to look behind her. Nothing. She continues and walks past an alley. She hears a breath and stops. Buffy: It's late, I'm tired, and I don't wanna play games. Show yourself. One of the Three roars and drops down to the sidewalk behind her. She reaches into her coat, pulls out a stake and quickly spins around to stake the vampire. Another of the Three grabs her arm as she swings. Buffy: (surprised) Wuh! The third member comes up on her other side and grabs her other arm. Buffy: Ooo! Okay, okay, nice... They pull her into the alley and up against a fence. The first one approaches her. Buffy: Okay, okay... Look, I really don't wanna fight all three of you... unless I have to. She snap kicks him in the crotch, elbows the third, and tries to punch the second. He blocks her swing and thrusts his knee into her gut, slamming her into the fence. The other two recover and grab her again. The second one slowly approaches her with death in his eyes. Buffy is terrified and struggles to get away. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ In the alley. The vampire comes up to Buffy, grabs her head and moves in to bite. Angel comes up behind him, grabs him by the hair and pulls him off of her. Angel: Good dogs don't... (punches the vampire) ...*bite*! Buffy is surprised, but quickly regains her head. Using the support of the two vampires holding onto her arms, she kicks up with both feet and hits them both in the face with a straddle kick. One of them grabs her again and holds her against the fence. Angel continues to fight the other two, punching one and snap kicking the second. One of them pulls a piece of iron bar off of a window. Buffy: Look out! Angel turns around, only to be sliced in the chest with the bar. Buffy shoves an open palm into her assailant's chin, pushing him off of her, punches him once in the gut and then slams both fists into his head. Angel is bent over in pain and is about to be stabbed again. Buffy quickly side kicks his attacker in the face, and he falls back away from Angel. She helps Angel up. Buffy: Run! They come running out of the alley. The Three get up and give chase. Cut to Buffy's street. She and Angel jump over the bushes in front of her house and run onto the porch. The Three are hot on their trail. Buffy gets the front door open. Buffy: Get in! C'mon! She rushes inside. Angel is right behind her. Buffy slams the door on one of the vampire's hands. He struggles a moment, but pulls his hand back out. She slams the door shut and locks it. The vampire looks in through the glass. Another one looks in through the window. Angel: It's alright. A vampire can't come in unless it's invited. Buffy: I've heard that before, but I've never put it to the test. (leans on the door, sees his wound) Oh... I'll go get some bandages, just... take your jacket and your shirt off. She heads into the kitchen. Angel looks out the window one last time and follows her. He takes off his jacket and his T-shirt. Buffy looks at him from behind and sees his tattoo of a griffin straddling a large "A" below his right shoulder. She brings over the first aid kit. Buffy: Nice tattoo. (exhales) I was lucky you came along. (looks up at him) How did you happen to come along? (begins to bandage him) Angel: I live nearby. I was just out walking. Buffy: So, you weren't following me? I just had this feeling you were. Angel: (smiles) Why would I do that? Buffy: You tell me. You're the Mystery Guy that appears out of nowhere. I'm not saying I'm not happy about it tonight, but... if you are hanging around I'd like to know why. (finishes bandaging) Angel: Maybe I like you. Buffy: Maybe... They smile at each other. Buffy hears the door open and quickly goes to intercept her mom. She's also worried about the Three outside. She pulls her mom into the house and closes the door. Joyce: Hi! What are you doing? Buffy: There's a lot of weird people outside at night... Joyce starts toward the kitchen. Buffy comes after her. Buffy: ...I just feel better with you safe and sound inside. You must be beat. Joyce: I am. We're a little gallery. You have no idea how much... Buffy: (interrupts) Well, then why don't you go upstairs and get into bed, and I can bring you some hot tea? Joyce: That's sweet! (suspiciously) What'd you do? Buffy: Can't a daughter just be concerned about her mother? Angel comes into the living room behind Buffy. Joyce sees him. Joyce: Hi. Angel: Hi. Buffy: Oh! Okay... Um... Angel, uh, this is my mom. Mom, this is Angel. Uh, we ran into each other on the way home. Angel: Nice to meet you. Joyce: What do you do, Angel? Buffy: He's a student. (her mother gives her a disbelieving look) Uh, first year community college. Angel's been helping me with my history, you know I've been toiling there. Joyce: It's a little late for tutoring. I'm gonna go to bed, and, uh, Buffy? (starts up the stairs) Buffy: I'll say good night and do the same! Joyce looks back down at her daughter and nods. Joyce: (to Angel) It was nice to meet you. Cut to Buffy at the front door holding it open. Buffy: Good night! We'll hook up soon and do that study thing! She closes the door. Angel is still there behind it. They go up the stairs and into her room. She closes the door quietly. Angel: Look, I don't wanna get you in any more trouble... Buffy: And I don't wanna get you dead. They could still be out there. (moves to the center of the room) So, uh, (realizes) oh... two of us, one bed. That doesn't work. (faces him) Um, why don't you take the bed? Y'know, you're wounded... Angel: I'll take the floor. Buffy: Uh, no, that's not... Angel: (reassuringly) Oh, believe me, I've had worse. Buffy: Okay. Um, then why don't you check and see if the Fang Gang is still loitering and, um, keep your back turned while I change? Angel goes over to the window to have a look. Buffy goes to her closet and changes. Angel: I don't see them. Buffy: Y'know, I'm the Chosen One, it's my job to fight guys like that. What's your excuse? Angel: Uh, somebody has to. Buffy: Well, what does your family think of your career choice? Angel: They're dead. She has finished changing and comes over to him. Buffy: Was it vampires? Angel: (faces her) I-it was. Buffy: I'm sorry. Angel: It was a long while ago. Buffy: So, this is a vengeance gig for you. Angel: (pauses) Y-you even look pretty when you go to sleep. Buffy: Well, when I wake up it's an entirely different story. They go over to her bed. She hands him the comforter from it. Buffy: Here. Sleep tight. He lays the comforter down on the floor next to her bed. She gets into her bed and he lies on the comforter. Buffy: Angel? Angel: Hmm? Buffy: Do you snore? Angel: I don't know. It's been a long time since anybody's been in a position to let me know. He turns his head to look at her. She smiles and settles in to sleep. Cut to the library the next day. Xander: He spent the night? In your room? In your bed? Buffy: Not *in* my bed, *by* my bed. Willow: That is so romantic! Did you, uh... I mean, did he, uh... Buffy: (smiling) Perfect gentleman. The girls exchange smiles. Xander: Buffy, c'mon, wake up and smell the seduction. It's the oldest trick in the book. Buffy: What? Saving my life? Getting slashed in the ribs? Xander: Duh! I mean, guys'll do anything to impress a girl. I-I once drank an entire gallon of Gatorade without taking a breath. (grins) Willow: It was pretty impressive. Although later there was an ick factor. Giles: (coming to the table) Can we steer this riveting conversation back to the events that happened earlier in the evening? (Buffy sits down) You left the Bronze and were set upon by three unusually virile vampires. (puts a book in front of her) Did they look like this? Buffy: Yeah. What's with the uniforms? Giles: It seems you encountered the Three. Warrior vampires, very proud and very strong. Willow: (to Giles) How is it you always know this stuff? You always know what's going on. I never know what's going on. Giles: Well, you weren't here from midnight until six researching it. Willow: No, I was sleeping. Giles: Uh, o-obviously you're hurting the Master very much. He, he wouldn't send the, the Three for just anyone. We must step up our training with weapons. Xander: Buffy, you should stay at my house until these Samurai guys are history. Buffy: (turns to him) What? Xander: Ah-ah-ah, don't worry about Angel, Willow can run to your house and tell him to get out of town fast. Giles: Angel and Buffy are, are not in any immediate jeopardy. Eventually the Master will send someone else, but in the mean time the Three, having failed, will offer their own lives in penance. Cut to the Master's lair. Vampire: We failed in our duty, and now our lives belong to you. He hands the Master a spear. The Master passes it to Darla. She starts to walk around behind the Three as the Master goes over to Collin. Master: Pay attention, child. You are the Anointed, and there is much you must learn. (crouches beside him) With power comes responsibility. True, they did fail, but also true, we who walk at night share a common bond. The taking of a life -- I'm not talking about humans, of course -- is a serious matter. One of the Three raises his head in hope. Collin: So you would spare them? Master: Hmm. (gets up) I am weary, and their deaths will bring me little joy. The Master begins to walk away, and Collin follows. Darla watches them go and smiles. She lifts the spear and dispatches the first of the Three. The Master stops and turns to Collin. Master: Of course, sometimes a little is enough. He looks over at Darla as she kills the next one, then continues away. Cut to the school. Cut to the library door. Giles sets out a sign that reads 'Library CLOSED for filing. Please come back tomorrow.' Cut inside. Buffy is checking out the weapons cabinet. Buffy: Cool! Crossbow! (lifts it out, sees the bolts) Huh. Check out these babies. (takes out a bolt) Hmm. Goodbye stakes, hello flying fatality. What can I shoot? Giles: Um, nothing. The crossbow comes later. He takes the crossbow from her and goes to put it back. Buffy is disappointed. Giles: You must first become proficient with the basic tools of combat. (Buffy looks bored) And let's begin... (comes back with two poles) ...with the quarterstaff. Which, incidentally, will, uh, require countless hours of vigorous training. (hands her one) I speak from experience. Buffy: Giles, 20th Century? I'm not gonna be fighting Friar Tuck. Giles: You never know with whom or what you'll be fighting. (puts on his head pads) And these traditions have been handed down through the ages. (grabs his staff) Now, you show me good, steady progress with the quarterstaff, and in due course we'll discuss the crossbow. Put on your pads. Buffy: (laughs) I'm not gonna need pads to fight you. Giles: Well, we'll see about that. En garde! He makes several thrusts and she parries them all. She takes the offensive, pushes his staff to the floor and punches him in the face. She comes around with the staff into his back, and again to knock his legs out from under him. He falls onto his back. She stands over him. Giles: (stunned) Good. Let's move on to the crossbow. Cut to the Summers house at night. Cut to Buffy coming into her room. She closes the door and looks around. Buffy: Angel? Angel: Hey. She turns on her desk lamp. Buffy: Brought you some dinner. It's a little plateless, sorry. She hands him a plastic bag full of food that she pilfered from dinner. He accepts it and looks at it. Buffy: So! What'd you do all day? Angel: Uh, I read a little. Buffy looks over to her diary. It's out of place. Angel: And just thought about a lot of things. Buffy, I... Buffy: My diary? You read my diary? (goes to put it in a drawer) That is *not* okay! A diary is like a person's most private place! (comes back to him) I... You don't even know what I was writing about! 'Hunk' can mean a lot of things, bad things. And, and when it says that your eyes are 'penetrating', I meant to write 'bulging'. Angel: Buffy... Buffy: And 'A' doesn't even stand for 'Angel' for that matter, it stands for... 'Achmed', a charming foreign exchange student, so that whole fantasy part has nothing to even do with you at all... Angel: Your mother moved your diary when she came in to straighten up. I watched from the closet. I didn't read it, I swear. She just looks at him. Buffy: Oh! (looks down, realizing what she just said) Oh. Angel: I did a lot of thinking today. I really can't be around you. (Buffy looks up) Because when I am... Buffy: (looks down) Hey, no big. Water... over the bridge, under the bridge... Angel: When I am all I can ever think about is how badly I want to kiss you. Buffy: ...over the dam... (looks up at him) Kiss me? Angel: I'm older than you, and this can't ever... I better go. Buffy: H-how much older? Angel: I should... Buffy: (approaches him) ...go... You said... They kiss. They kiss again. They kiss passionately. She puts her arm around him. The kiss goes on for several moments. Angel suddenly pulls back and looks away. Buffy: What? What is it? What's wrong? He turns to face her and growls. She sees he has his game face on and screams. He takes a last look at her and jumps out of the window. He slides down the roof and off onto the ground. Buffy goes to the window and watches him run away. Her mother comes running into the room. Joyce: Buffy, what happened? She backs away from the window. Her mom takes her by the shoulders. She looks at her mom and shakes her head. Buffy: Uh, nothing. I saw a shadow. They both look out the window. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ The next morning at Sunnydale High. The team is walking up the steps from the street toward the building. Willow: Angel's a vampire? Buffy: I can't believe this is happening. One minute we were kissing, and the next minute... (to Giles) Can a vampire ever be a good person? Couldn't it happen? Giles: A vampire isn't a person at all. (clears his throat) It may have the movements, the, the memories, even the personality of the person that it took over, but i-it's still a demon at the core, there is no halfway. Willow: So that'd be a no, huh? Buffy: Well, then what was he doing? Why was he good to me? Was it all some part of the Master's plan? It doesn't make sense! They've reached a bench where Willow and Buffy sit. Xander: Alright, uh... (sits also) ...you have a problem, and it's not a small one. Let's take a breath and look at this calmly and objectively. Angel's a vampire. You're a Slayer. I think it's obvious what you have to do. (grins) Buffy doesn't react, so Xander looks up to Giles for support. Giles: (crouches down) Uh, it is a Slayer's duty... Xander: I-I know you have feelings for this guy, but it's not like you're in love with him, right? Buffy looks away. Xander: You're in love with a vampire?! What, are you outta your mind?! Cordelia: What?! He looks at Cordelia. She's looking somewhere else, but turns to him. Xander: (to Cordelia) Not vampire... (to Buffy) How could you love an umpire? Everyone hates 'em! Cordelia looks back at another girl wearing the same dress she is. Cordelia: Where did you get that dress? (pursues her) This is a one-of- a-kind Todd Oldham. Do you know how much this dress cost? Is this a knockoff? (checks the label) This is a knockoff, isn't it?! Some cheesy knockoff! This is exactly what happens when you sign these free trade agreements! The two girls disappear into the building. Buffy: You think *we* have problems... Cut to the hall outside Angel's apartment. He comes through the door and goes to his apartment door. He unlocks it and goes in. Cut inside. There are a bunch of old books stacked along the wall. He closes the door and goes over to turn on a lamp. When he straightens back up he senses a presence. Angel: Who's here? Darla: A friend. He quickly faces the voice. Darla comes out of the shadows wearing a Catholic schoolgirl uniform. Darla: Hi. It's been a while. Angel: A lifetime. Darla: Or two, but who's counting? Angel: What's with the Catholic schoolgirl look? Last time I saw you it was kimonos. Darla: And last time I saw you it wasn't high school girls. (flares the skirt) Don't cha like? (approaches Angel) Remember Budapest? Turn of the century? You were such a bad boy during that earthquake. Angel: You did some damage yourself. Darla: Is there anything better than a natural disaster? (walks away) The panic. The people lost in the streets. It's like picking fruit off the vine. (reaches the bed) Nice! You're living above ground, like one of them. You and your new friend are attacking us, like one of them. (walks to the window) But guess what, precious? You're not one of them. She draws the window blinds open, letting in a stream of sunlight. Angel is blinded, and he stumbles backward to get out of the light. Darla: Are you? Angel: No. But I'm not exactly one of you either. Darla: (walks to the fridge) Is that what you tell yourself these days? She opens the refrigerator and sees the bags and bottles of human blood. Darla: You're not exactly living off quiche. (closes the fridge) You and I both know what you hunger for. (goes over to him) What you need. Hey, it's nothing to be ashamed of. It's who we are. It's what makes eternal life worth living. (smiles and touches him) Mm. You can only suppress your real nature for so long. You can feel it brewing inside of you. I hope I'm around when it explodes. Angel: Maybe you don't wanna be. Darla: I'm not afraid of you. I bet she is, though. (starts to leave) Or maybe I'm underestimating her. Talk to her. Tell her about the curse. Maybe she'll come around. And if she still doesn't trust you, you know where I'll be. She exits the apartment, leaving an angry Angel behind. Cut to the library. Buffy is looking through a book. So are Willow and Xander. Giles comes up behind Xander and startles him. Giles: Here's something at last. Xander: Can you please warn us before you do that? Giles: There's nothing about Angel in the texts, but it suddenly occurred to me that it's been ages since I've read the diaries of any of the watchers before me. Willow: (to Buffy) That musta been so embarrassing when you thought he had read your diary, but then it turned out he hadn't, but then he felt the same way... (Xander gives her a look) I'm listening. Giles: There's mention some two hundred years ago in Ireland of, of Angelus, the one with the angelic face. Buffy: They got that right. Xander: (clears his throat) I'm not saying anything, I have nothing to say. Giles: Does this, uh, Angel have, um, a tattoo behind his right shoulder? Buffy: Yeah, it's a, it's a bird or something. Xander: Now I'm sayin' something. You saw him naked? Willow: So, Angel's been around for a while. Giles: Not long for a vampire. Uh, two hundred and forty years or so. Buffy: Huh! Two hundred and forty. Well, he said he was older. Giles: (sits and looks through the diary) Angelus leaves Ireland, uh, wreaks havoc in, in Europe for, uh, several decades, and then, um, about eighty years ago, the most curious thing happens. He, he comes to, uh, to America, um, shuns other vampires, and, and lives alone. There's, there's no, no record of him hunting here. Willow: So he *is* a good vampire! I mean, on a scale of one to ten, ten being someone who's killing and maiming every night, and one being someone who's... not. Giles: I say that there's no record, but, uh, vampires hunt and kill. It's, it's what they do. Xander: Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly. Buffy: He could've fed on me. He didn't. Xander: Question: a hundred years or so before he came to our shores, what was he like then? Giles: Uh, like all of them. Uh, a vicious, violent animal. Cut to the Master's lair. Darla: Don't think I'm not grateful, you letting me kill the Three. Master: How can my children learn if I do everything for them? Darla: But you've gotta let me take care of the Slayer. Master: Oh! You're giving me orders now! Darla: (walks away) Okay, then, we'll just do nothing while she takes us out one by one. Master: Do I sense a plan, Darla? (she turns around) Share... Darla: (walks back) Angel kills her and comes back to the fold. Master: Angel! He was the most vicious creature I ever met. I miss him. Darla: So do I. Master: (considers) Why would he kill her if he feels for her? Darla: To keep her from killing him. Master: Hmm. (to Collin) You see how we all work together for the common good? That's how a family is supposed to function! Cut to the school at night. Willow: Okay, so let's review. Cut to the library. Buffy and Willow are studying. Willow: Reconstruction began when? (looks up) Buffy? Buffy: Huh? (comes back to earth) Oh! Um, reconstruction... Uh, reconstruction began after the... construction, which was... shoddy, so they had to reconstruct. Willow: After the destruction of the Civil War. Buffy: Right. Civil War. During which Angel was already, like, a hundred and change... Willow: Are we gonna talk about boys, or are we gonna help you pass history? Buffy looks up at Willow. She closes the book. Willow: Sometimes I have this fantasy that Xander's just gonna grab me and kiss me right on the lips. (huge smile) Buffy: You want Xander, you've gotta speak up, girl! Willow: No, no, no, no. No speaking up. That way leads to madness and sweaty palms. Darla peeks out from behind the stacks. Willow: Okay, so here's something I gotta know. When Angel kissed you... I mean before he turned into... how was it? Buffy: (smiles) Unbelievable! Darla continues to watch and listen. Willow: Wow! And it is kinda novel how he'll stay young and handsome forever, although you'll still get wrinkly and die, and... Oh, and what about the children? (Buffy looks at her) I'll be quiet now. Buffy: No, it's okay. I need to hear this. I need to get over him so I can... Willow: So that you can... (makes a stabbing gesture) Buffy: Like Xander said, I'm the Slayer, and he's a... vampire. God, I can't! He's never done anything to hurt me... (collects herself) Okay, no, I need to stop thinking about this. Okay, let's give another half an hour and maybe something will sink in. And then I'm going home for some major moping. Darla smiles and backs away. Willow: Okay. The era of the congressional reconstruction, usually called radical... Cut to the Summers house. Cut inside to the kitchen where Joyce is doing her taxes and having coffee. She hears creaking on the porch outside and gets up to investigate. She looks out the door window and sees nothing. She opens the door a bit and still there's nothing. She closes the door and heads to the front. Darla looks in, sporting her game face. Joyce walks slowly through the living room and hears a knocking on the door. She looks out, sees Darla in her human guise and opens the door. Joyce: Hello? Darla: Hi! I'm Darla? A friend of Buffy's? Joyce: Oh! (exhales) Nice to meet you. Darla: (exhales) She didn't mention anything about me coming over for a study date, did she? Joyce: No, I thought she was studying with Willow at the library. Darla: She is. Willow's the Civil War expert, but then I was supposed to help her with the War of Independence. My family kinda goes back to those days. Joyce: Well, I, I know she's supposed to be home soon. Would you like to come in and wait? Darla: (comes in) It's very nice of you to invite me into your home. (smiles) Joyce: You're welcome. I've been wrestling with the IRS all night. Would you like something to eat? (starts to the kitchen) Darla: (follows) Yes, I would! She looks at Joyce's neck. Cut to the kitchen. Joyce: Let's see what we have. Do you feel like something little or something big? Darla: (vamped out) Something big! Cut outside. Angel comes walking up to the house. He almost knocks, but then decides to leave. As he goes he hears Joyce scream. He runs around to the back door and kicks it in. He sees Darla biting Joyce. Angel: Let her go! Darla: I just had a little, there's plenty more. Aren't you hungry for something warm after all this time? Come on, Angel. Just say 'Yes'! She shoves Joyce into Angel's arms so he can see the bite and smell the blood. He struggles with himself and looks away from the bite. Darla watches with a big smile. Angel looks up at her again with his game face on. Darla: Welcome home! She walks around them and leaves the house. Angel continues to struggle with himself. Buffy comes in from the dining room, and Angel looks up. Buffy: Hey! I'm home. She turns toward him and freezes with fear. Angel bares his fangs and growls. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ The Summers house. Cut to the living room window. Angel flies through it and tumbles over the porch, through the bushes and onto the lawn. Buffy comes over to the broken window and looks out at him as he gets up. Buffy: You're not welcome here. You come near us and I'll kill you. Angel just looks at her. She goes back inside. He turns to leave. Cut inside. Buffy grabs the phone, dials 911 and goes over to kneel by her mother. Buffy: Mom! Mom, can you hear me?! (the operator answers) Yes, I need an ambulance, 1630 Revello Drive! My mother cut herself, she lost a lot of blood! Please, please hurry! (drops the phone) Mom! Xander: Hey, Buffy! She looks up to see Xander and Willow come in through the kitchen door. Xander: Oh, my God! Willow: What happened?! Buffy: Angel! Cut to the hospital. Giles rushes down the corridor trying to find Joyce's room. Buffy: Do you remember anything, Mom? Cut inside the room. Joyce: Just, um, your friend came over... I was gonna make a snack... Buffy: (misunderstands) My friend? Giles comes in. Joyce: I guess I slipped and cut my neck on... The doctor said it looked like a barbecue fork. (looks at Buffy) We don't have a barbecue fork. (looks at Giles) Are you another doctor? Buffy: (looks to see) Oh! Um... No, Mom, this is Mr. Giles. Joyce: Oh, the librarian from your school! (confused) What's he doing here? Giles: Uh, I-I just came to pay my respects, wish you a speedy recovery. Joyce: Boy, the teachers really *do* care in this town. Buffy: Get some rest now. She gives her mom a kiss, and they all go outside the room. Cut to the hall. Buffy: She's gonna be okay. They, they gave her some iron... Her, uh, blood count was a, a little... Giles: ...a little low. It presents itself like mild anemia. Uh, you, you were, uh, lucky you got to her as soon as you did. Buffy: Lucky? Stupid. Xander: Buff, it's not your fault. Buffy: No? I invited him into my home. Even after I knew who he was, what he was, and I didn't do anything about it... 'cause I had feelings for him, because I cared about him. Willow: If you care about somebody you care about them. You can't change that by... Buffy: ...killing them? Maybe not. But I think it's a start. (starts to leave) Xander: Uh, we'll keep an eye on your mom. Giles: (chases after her) Buffy! (blocks her way) Buffy: You can't stop me. The Three found me near the Bronze and so did he. He lives nearby. Giles: This is no ordinary vampire. (whispers) If there is such a thing. Now, he knows you, he, he's faced the Three! I think this is gonna take more than a simple stake. Buffy: So do I. Cut to the armory in the library. Buffy loads the crossbow with bolts. Darla: She's out hunting you right now. Cut to Angel's apartment. Darla: She wants to kill you. Angel: Leave me alone. Darla: What did you think? Did you think she would understand? That she would look at your face... your true face... and give you a kiss? Cut to Buffy in the library. She takes a practice shot at an anti- smoking poster and nails the guy in the heart. Darla: For a hundred years you've not (Buffy lowers the bow) had a moment's peace because you will not (cut to the apartment) accept who you are. That's all you have to do. Accept it. Don't let her hunt you down. Don't whimper and mewl like a mangy human. Kill! Feed! Live! She has pushed Angel to the limit. He jumps up and shoves her against the wall with her arms pinned up. Angel: Alright! Darla: What do you want? Angel: I want it finished! Darla: That's good. You're hurting me. (smiles) That's good, too. Cut to outside the Bronze. Buffy has the crossbow held ready. She comes through a hole in a fence and goes toward the entrance. She hears glass breaking above her and turns to the noise. She looks around as she goes to the wall where there's a ladder. She starts to climb. Joyce: She talks about you all the time. Cut to the hospital room. Joyce: It's important to have teachers who make an impression. Giles: She makes quite an impression herself. Joyce: I-I know she's having trouble with history. I-is it too difficult for her or is she not applying herself? Giles: She lives very much in the 'now', um, and, uh, history, of course, is, is very much about the, uh... the 'then'. B-b-but there's no reason... Joyce: She's studying with Willow, she's studying with Darla, I-I mean, she is trying. Giles: Darla? I-I-I don't believe I know, uh... Joyce: Her friend, the one who came over tonight. Giles: Darla came to your house tonight? Sh-she's the friend that you mentioned earlier? Joyce: Poor thing, I must've frightened her half to death when I fainted. Someone should really check and make sure she's alright. Giles: (gets up) Yes, someone should, right away. I'll do it. (grabs his coat and leaves) Joyce: That school is amazing! Cut to the hall. He walks with Willow and Xander. Giles: We have a problem. Cut to the Bronze. Buffy comes down the stairs. When she gets to the bottom she quickly turns to have a look around. Angel backs into the shadows. Buffy hears a noise and pivots toward it. Buffy: I know you're there. And I know what you are. Angel: Do you? She faces his voice. Angel: I'm just an animal, right? Buffy: You're not an animal. Animals I like. She keeps looking around her. He growls and comes out of the shadows to face her. She trains the crossbow on him. Angel: Let's get it done! He growls and begins to run. He jumps onto a pool table. Buffy follows him with her aim and shoots, but misses. Angel jumps up onto the catwalk above. Buffy can't see him in the shadows. He swings down and kicks her in the back, knocking her onto a pool table. She does a standing back kick at him behind her and sends him into the wall. She runs around the table and dives for the crossbow. She rolls onto her back and takes aim at him. He slowly gets up and growls. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ The Bronze. Angel is in his game face and Buffy has her crossbow trained on him. Angel morphs back into his human form. Angel: C'mon! Don't go soft on me now! Buffy launches the bolt. It hits the wall next to him. Angel: Little wide. Buffy: Why? (gets up) Why didn't you just attack me when you had the chance? Was it a joke? To make me feel for you and then... I've killed a lot of vampires. I've never hated one before. Angel: Feels good, doesn't it? Feels simple. Buffy: I invited you into my home and then you attacked my family! Angel: Why not? I killed mine. I killed their friends... and their friend's children... For a hundred years I offered ugly death to everyone I met, and I did it with a song in my heart. Buffy: What changed? Angel: Fed on a girl about your age... beautiful... dumb as a post... but a favorite among her clan. Buffy: Her clan? Angel: Romany. Gypsies. The elders conjured the perfect punishment for me. They restored my soul. Buffy: What, they were all out of boils and blinding torment? Angel: When you become a vampire the demon takes your body, but it doesn't get your soul. That's gone! No conscience, no remorse... It's an easy way to live. You have no idea what it's like to have done the things I've done... and to care. I haven't fed on a living human being since that day. Buffy: So you started with my mom? Angel: I didn't bite her. Buffy: Then why didn't you say something? Angel: But I wanted to. I can walk like a man, but I'm not one. I wanted to kill you tonight. Buffy looks at her bow and back at Angel. She puts the bow down on the floor and approaches him. She offers her neck. Buffy: Go ahead. He just looks at her in silence. Buffy: Not as easy as it looks. Darla: Sure it is! They turn toward the voice and see Darla coming out of the shadows. Cut outside. Giles, Willow and Xander are walking down a street. Willow: We're near the Bronze. What now? Giles: Keep looking for her. Xander: I have a question: what if we find her and she's fighting Angel and some of his friends? What the heck are we gonna do about it? Cut to the Bronze. Darla: Do you know what the saddest thing in the world is? Buffy: Bad hair on top of that outfit? Darla: To love someone who used to love you. Buffy: (looks at Angel) You guys were involved? Darla: For several generations. Buffy: Well, you been around since Columbus, you are bound to pile up a few ex's. You're older than him, right? Just between us girls, you are looking a little worn around the eyes. Darla: (smiles) I made him. There was a time when we shared everything, wasn't there Angelus? You had a chance to come home, to rule with me in the Master's court for a thousand years, but you threw that away because of her. You love someone who hates us. You're sick. And you'll always be sick. And you'll always remember what it was like to watch her die. (smiles) You don't think I came alone, do you? Buffy: I know I didn't. She kicks the bow up into her hands and aims it at Darla. Darla: Hmm, scary. She produces two pistols from behind her back, one in each hand. Darla: Scarier! She shoots Angel. He staggers back onto a post. Darla: Oh, don't worry. Bullets can't kill vampires. Can hurt them like hell, but... (giggles) Buffy retreats. Darla starts shooting at her. Buffy does a diving shoulder roll over a pool table and takes cover behind it. Cut outside. Giles, Willow and Xander hear the shots from inside the Bronze. Xander: Did you just hear... They run to find a way in. Cut inside. Buffy reloads the crossbow. Darla: So many body parts, so few bullets. Let's begin with the kneecaps. No fun dancing without them. She caps off a few more rounds, and the pool table takes a few hits. Buffy pops up with the crossbow and takes a shot at Darla. She doubles over when it hits her in the abdomen. Buffy watches as she straightens back up again. Darla: Close, but no heart. She grabs the bolt, pulls it out and tosses it aside. Cut to Giles, Willow and Xander crawling along the floor. Xander: We need to distract her, fast! Willow: (calls out) Buffy, it wasn't Angel who attacked your mom, it was Darla! Darla turns toward the voice and lets loose a hail of bullets as they hug the floor for cover. Angel pulls the bolt from the wall. Darla turns her attention back on Buffy and hops up onto the pool table. Buffy jumps up, grabs the edge of the table and pulls, knocking Darla onto her back. She pushes the table away and starts to run for cover. Darla fires off a few rounds as she rides the table across the floor. Buffy leaps for cover over a glass case in a dive roll as bullets break it all around her. The pool table has stopped sliding, and Darla gets up to look for Buffy. She hops off of it and advances on the counter while shooting. Giles gets up and messes with the lighting system controls. The strobes come on. Darla looks up at him and stops shooting. Buffy takes the opportunity to change position. Darla sees her move and lets loose another volley. Darla: C'mon, Buffy. Take it like a man! Angel comes up behind her, roars and plunges the bolt into her back. She is surprised and cries out in pain. She turns to look at her attacker. Darla: Angel? She falls to the floor and bursts into ashes. Buffy rises up to see. Angel looks up from Darla's ashes at Buffy. She comes out from behind the counter. He looks at her a moment longer and then turns and leaves. Buffy is speechless and just watches him go. Cut to the Master's lair. He screams as he wields a tall candleholder and smashes it in anger. He flails out with his arms and knocks other things over. Finally he sinks to the ground in grief. Collin comes over to him. Collin: Forget her. Master: (looks up angrily) How dare you? She was my favorite. For four hundred years... Collin: She was weak. You don't need her. I'll bring you the Slayer. Master: (despondently) But to lose her to Angel! He was to have sat at my right hand, come the day. And now... Collin: They're all against you. But soon you shall rise. And when you do... (puts a hand on the Master's shoulder) ...we kill them all. The Master smiles at him and gets up. Collin takes his hand and leads him away. Cut to later at the Bronze. Xander: Ah, the post-fumigation party. Buffy: Okay, so what's the difference between this and the pre- fumigation party? Xander: Much hardier cockroaches. Willow: So, no word from Angel? Buffy: Nah. It's weird, though. In his way I feel like he's still watching me. Willow: Well, in a way he sort of is. In the way of that he's right over there. Buffy looks over where Willow is looking and sees Angel. She briefly looks back at Willow and then heads over to him. Xander: I don't need to watch because I'm not threatened. Just gonna look this way. He and Willow sit at a table with him facing away from Buffy and Angel. Willow watches as Buffy makes her way over to Angel. The crowd is slow dancing to "I'll remember you", by Sophie Zelmani. Lyrics: Did they know what they wanted / The times they kissed me? / And your hands / I held in mine Buffy and Angel reach each other. Angel: I just wanted to see if you were okay. And your mother. Buffy: We're both good. You? Angel: If I can go a little while without getting shot or stabbed I'll be alright. Look, this can't... Buffy: ...ever be anything. I know. For one thing, you're, like, two hundred and twenty-four years older than I am. Angel: I just gotta... I gotta walk away from this. Buffy: (nods) I know. Me, too. (whispers) One of us has to go here. Angel: (whispers) I know. They look at each other a moment longer and then close in to kiss. Their kiss becomes passionate. Buffy reaches her hands up to Angel's neck. Lyrics: Your eyes / That always make me shiver / Now they are closed / They just sometimes twitch a little Cut to Willow and Xander. Xander: What's going on? Willow: Nothin'... Xander: Well, as long as they're not kissing. Willow just watches and says nothing. Cut to Angel and Buffy. Lyrics: And your body / I could hold for an hour / It sent me to Heaven / With its heat and power They separate. Buffy: You okay? Angel: It's just... Buffy: ...painful. I know. See you around? Lyrics: I'll remember you / You will be there in my heart / I'll remember you / And that is all that I can do / But I'll remember Buffy walks away. Angel watches her go. The camera pans down to his chest where her cross has left a deep burn. I, Robot -- You, Jane Written by: Ashley Gable & Thomas A. Swyden Directed by: Stephen Posey Transcribed by: AleXander Thompson Copyright © 1997 Alexander Thompson ~~~~~~~~~~ Prologue ~~~~~~~~~~ In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. A castle in Cortona, Italy, 1418. Cut inside. Carlo is standing by a window looking into the room at his master. Moloch: Carlo, caro mio. Translation: Carlo, my dear one. Carlo comes into the room and over to Moloch. He kneels. Moloch steps over to him and puts his hand on his head. The camera pans up to Moloch's demonic face. Moloch: Mi ami? Ti darò tutto. Tutto quello che desidero è il tuo amore. Translation: Do you love me? I can give you everything. All I want is your love. Carlo: Tu hai il mio amore. Translation: You have my love. Moloch growls and quickly twists Carlo's head, snapping his neck. Cut to a church. Cut inside. The priest Thelonius is talking to a group of monks bearing torches. Thelonius: E fuori. E il diavolo, Molocco. E fuori nel mondo, facendo tante cose male. Abbiamo bisogno di fare il circolo. Translation: He's out. It is the devil, Moloch. He is out in the world, doing such bad things. We need to form the circle. (Transcriber's note: in this part there is a significant difference between the subtitles from the episode and what was actually said, so the subtitles are included below.) Subtitles: It is Moloch. The Corrupter. He walks again. More and more people have fallen under his mesmerizing power. There is still time to bind him. We must form the circle. The monks gather around him as he opens a large book. Cut to a shot from above. The pages of the book are blank. Thelonius: Per potere di questo circolo di Kayless... Translation: By the power of the circle of Kayless... Cut to Moloch. He smiles as he straightens up and lets Carlo's body fall. His expression changes when he realizes something is wrong, and he looks up. Moloch: (surprised) No! Cut back to the church. Thelonius: Per potere di questo circolo di Kayless, ti commando! Vieni! Translation: By the power of the circle of Kayless, I command you! Come! Cut to Moloch. He begins to scream angrily. Cut to the Church. Thelonius: Ti commando! Vieni! Translation: I command you! Come! Cut to Moloch. He screams even more loudly in terror. Cut to the Church. Thelonius: VIENI! Translation: COME! Cut to Moloch. He continues to scream. Suddenly he bursts into millions of tiny particles. Cut to the Church. The particles fall into the book as the camera follows them down. Thelonius: Vieni, demonio! Vieni! Translation: Come, demon! Come! As the particles fall into the book an ancient script appears. When the pages are filled, Thelonius closes the book. He steps over to a table and puts the book into a heavy wooden box. Thelonius: Preghiamo che questo libro è mai letto più... Translation: Pray that this accursed book is never again read... Cut to a shot of the priest from inside the box. Thelonius: Che il demonio Molocco è mai lasciato più fuori nel mondo. Translation: Lest the Demon Moloch be loosed upon the world. He puts the lid on the box. Centuries later the lid is lifted off of the box, and Buffy looks in. Buffy: (sarcastically) Oh, great! A book! Cut to the library. A book-scanning project is going on, and Willow and a few other computer science students are seated at the table, scanning the books into the library's computer system. Buffy pulls the book out of the box and blows some of the dust off of it. Giles: Oh, uh, I, uh... haven't gone through the new arrivals. Uh, put it in, uh, (points with his book) in, in that pile. Dave: Here, I'll get it. He gets up from his computer. Buffy: Oh, thanks, Dave. The Willow pile. Dave takes the book from Buffy and goes over to the pile of books next to Willow. Giles: Uh, when I've examined it, you can, uh, uh, skim it. Ms. Calendar: Scan it, Rupert. That's scan it. Giles: (gives her a sarcastic look) Of course. Ms. Calendar: Oh, I know, our ways are strange to you, but soon you will join us in the 20th century. With three whole years to spare! (grins) Giles: (smugly) Ms. Calendar, I'm sure your computer science class is fascinating, but I happen to believe that one can survive in modern society without being a slave to the, um, idiot box. Ms. Calendar: (annoyed) That's TV. The idiot box is TV. This (indicates a computer) is the *good* box! Giles: I still prefer a good book. Fritz: (self-righteously) The printed page is obsolete. (stands up) Information isn't bound up anymore. It's an entity. The only reality is virtual. If you're not jacked in, you're not alive. (grabs his books and leaves) Ms. Calendar: Thank you, Fritz, for making us all sound like crazy people. (to Giles) Fritz, Fritz comes on a little strong, but he does have a point. You know, for the last two years more e-mail was sent than regular mail. Giles: Oh... Ms. Calendar: More digitized information went across phone lines than conversation. Giles: That is a fact that I regard with genuine horror. Ms. Calendar: (teasingly) I'll bet it is. (to the students) Alright, guys, let's wrap it up for today. Willow: I've just got a few more. I'll hang for a bit. Ms. Calendar: Cool! Thanks. Xander grabs his bag and pulls it onto his shoulder. Willow: Xander, you wanna stay and help me? Xander: (in disbelief) Are you kidding? Willow: (taken aback) Yes, it was a joke I made up. Xander: Willow, I love you, but bye! (leaves) Willow: (calls after him) See you tomorrow! Xander: (ignores her) Buffy, wait up! Giles: I'm, I'm just gonna stay and clean up a little. I'll, uh, I'll be back in the middle ages. (starts up the stairs) Ms. Calendar: Did you ever leave? Giles stops and looks back at her. She's smiles to herself, pleased with his reaction to her comment. He continues up the stairs. Cut to later. Willow is alone in the library scanning the last book. She draws the scanner over the two pages, and they appear on the monitor. As she types to save the scan, the script in the book disappears. Willow closes the book, puts it in the pile with the others and leaves. The computer monitor goes blank and Moloch's words appear. Moloch: Where am I? Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ The hall at Sunnydale High School. Buffy runs to catch up with Willow as she slowly walks along. Buffy: Willow! Willow, hey, wait up! (reaches her) Willow: Oh, Buffy, I didn't even see you. Buffy: Or hear me. What was up last night? I tried your line, like, a million times. Willow: Oh, I was, I was talking. Buffy: Talking to...? (no answer) Okay, that's it, you have a secret, and that's not allowed. Willow: Why not? (opens her locker) Buffy: 'Cause... there's a rule. Willow: Well, I sort of met someone. (smiles) Buffy: (excitedly) I knew it! This is so important! When did you meet? Willow: Last week after we did the scanning project in the library. (closes her locker) Buffy: (curiously) Does he go here? What's his name? Have you kissed him? What's he like? Willow: (amused) No, Malcolm, no, and very nice. Buffy: (annoyed) You are a thing of evil for not telling me this right away! Willow: Well, I wasn't sure there was anything to tell. But last night, oh! We talked all night, it was amazing. He's so smart, Buffy, and, and he's romantic, and we agree about everything! Buffy: (sighs) What's he look like? Willow: I don't know! She continues down the hall with a big smile on her face. Buffy is confused and stares after her a moment, then starts to follow. Cut to the computer lab. Fritz and Dave are there, typing away. Dave: (to the monitor) Yes, I will. I promise. Willow and Buffy enter. Buffy: So, you've been seeing a guy, and you don't know what he looks like? Okay, this is a puzzle. No, wait, I'm good at these. Does it involve a midget and a block of ice? Willow: I met him online. Buffy: On line for what? Willow indicates a computer. Buffy: Oh! Ms. Calendar strides quickly into the room wearing dark glasses and holding a mug of coffee in one hand and her books in the other. Ms. Calendar: Morning, kids! Buffy turns to look at her. Ms. Calendar notices Buffy as she heads to her desk. She puts her mug down. Ms. Calendar: Buffy, are you supposed to be somewhere? (takes off her glasses) Buffy: No, I have a free. Ms. Calendar: Cool! But this is lab time, so let's make it a nice, short visit, okay? Buffy: Sure. PC: You have mail. Willow: It's him! (types to get the message) Message: I'm thinking of you. Willow: He's so sweet! Buffy: (nods) He's a sweetie. (smiles nervously) Willow: What should I write back? Buffy: (cautiously) Uh, Willow, I think it's really great that you have this cool pen pal, but don't you think you're kinda rushing all into this? Y'know what I mean? Willow: (excitedly) 'I'm thinking of you, too!' (crestfallen) No, that's incredibly stupid! Buffy: Will, down girl! Let's focus here, okay? What do you actually know about this guy? Willow: (disappointed) Oh, see, I knew you'd react like this. Buffy: Like what? The camera closes in on the computer's video feed. Buffy: I just wanna make sure you're careful, that's all. Cut to the computer's view. Willow: Buffy... Buffy: He could be different than you think. The computer focuses closely on Buffy. Cut to an office. The computer on the desk suddenly comes on. The student records scroll by. It stops on Buffy's record and expands it. Cut to Fritz's PC in the lab. Buffy's record appears there. The camera pans over to Fritz as he studies her record. The monitor goes blank and a message appears. Moloch: Watch her. Cut to Willow and Buffy. Willow: His name is Malcolm Black, he's eighteen, he lives in Elmwood, which is about eighty miles from here, and he likes me! Buffy: Short, tall, skinny, fat? Willow: Why does everything have to be about looks? Buffy: Not everything, but some stuff is. I mean, what if you guys get really, really intense, and then you find out that he... has... a hairy back? Willow: Well, no! Uh, he doesn't talk like somebody who would have a hairy back. And anyways, that stuff doesn't matter when you really care about each other. Maybe I'm not his ideal either. Buffy: Hey, I'm just trying to make sure that he's good enough for you. I think it's great that you met someone. Cut to Ms. Calendar at her desk. She gets up holding some papers and comes over to Fritz. Ms. Calendar: Hey, Fritz... I'm, uh, lookin' at the logs. You and Dave are clockin' a pretty scary amount of computer time. Fritz: New project. Ms. Calendar: Ooo, will I be excited? Fritz: You'll die. Cut outside to the steps in the quad. A boy is sitting on them reviewing his report on his laptop. Boy: (upset) This isn't my report! 'Nazi Germany was a model of a well ordered society'? I didn't write that! Who's been in my files? Willow comes down the steps next to him. She's off in her own world and doesn't notice Xander coming from her right. He puts his hand over her eyes, and she's forced to stop, nearly losing her balance. Xander: Hup, guess who? Willow: Uh, Xander? Xander: Yeah, but keep guessing anyway. Willow: Xander. Xander: (takes his hand from her eyes) Oh, I can't fool ya, you see right through my petty charade. We goin' to the Bronze tonight? Willow: (smiles) Not me, I think I'm gonna call it an early night. Xander: Oh, Malcolm, right? (Willow smiles and nods) Yeah, I heard. But you're gonna be missin' out. I'm plannin' to be witty. I'm gonna make fun of all the people who won't talk to me. Willow: That's nice. Have a good time! She smiles and quickly leaves. He watches her go. Buffy arrives and watches her go, too. Buffy: She certainly looks perky. Xander: Yeah, color in the cheeks, bounce in the step... I don't like it. It's not healthy. (faces her) So, are you goin' to the Bronze tonight? Oh, probably not, you probably have some vampire slaying or some lame endeavor like that, don't you? Everyone deserts me. They begin to walk. Buffy: Check out the jealous man! Xander: What are you talking about? Buffy: You're jealous. Xander: Of what? Buffy: Willow's got a thang, and Xander's left hanging. Xander: Oh, that's meaningless drivel. I'm not interested in Willow like that. Buffy: Yeah, but you got used to being the Belle of the Ball. Xander: No, it's just... this Malcolm guy? What's his deal? I mean, tell me you're not slightly wigged. Buffy: Okay, slightly. I mean, just not knowing what he's really like. Xander: Or who he really is. I mean, sure he says he's a high school student, but I can say I'm a high school student. Buffy: You are. Xander: Okay, but I can also say that I'm an elderly Dutch woman. Get me? I mean, who's to say I'm not if I'm in the elderly Dutch chat room? Buffy: (making light) I get your point! (gets his point) I get your point. Oh, this guy could be anybody. He could be weird, or crazy, or old, or... He could be a circus freak. (panicked) He's probably a circus freak! Xander: Yeah. I mean, we read about it all the time. Y'know, people meet on the 'Net, they talk, they get together, have dinner, a show, horrible ax murder. Buffy: Willow ax murdered by a circus freak... Okay, okay, what do we do? (realizes her paranoia) What are we doing? Xander, you get me started! We are totally overreacting! Xander: But it's fun, isn't it? Cut to the computer lab. Fritz is staring at stuff scrolling by on the monitor. Fritz: (in a trance) I'm jacked in. I'm jacked in. I'm jacked in. The camera pans down to his arm where he's carving an 'M' into it. Fritz: I'm jacked in. Cut to the girls' locker room the next day. The camera is following two girls out when suddenly Willow comes barging in. Buffy: Whoa! You're the Late Girl. Willow: I overslept. Buffy: Till fifth period? Talkin' to Malcolm last night? Willow: Yeah. (sees Buffy's look) What? Buffy: Nothing. Willow: You're having an expression. Buffy: I'm not. But if I was, it'd be saying, 'This just isn't like you.' Willow: Not like me to have a boyfriend? Buffy: He's boyfriendly? Willow: (confused) I don't understand why you don't want me to have this. I mean, boys don't chase me around all the time. I thought you'd be happy for me. Buffy: (concerned) I just want you to be sure. To meet him face to face. In daylight, in a crowded place with some friends. Y'know, before you become all... obsessive. Willow: Malcolm and I really care about each other. Big deal if I blow off a couple classes. Buffy: I thought you said you overslept. Willow: Malcolm said you wouldn't understand. Buffy: Malcolm was right. Cut to the computer lab. Buffy comes in, sees Dave and goes over to him. Buffy: Dave? (he's oblivious) Hey there, Dave. Anybody home? He jumps in his seat when she puts her hand on his shoulder. Dave: Oh, what do you want? Buffy: I wanted to ask you something if you have a minute. Dave: What is it? Buffy: Well, you're a computer geek... genius, and, uh, I sort of have a technical problem. If I wanted to find out something about someone, i- if someone e-mailed me, could I trace the letter? Dave: Well, you could pull up somebody's profile based on their user name. Buffy: But they write the profile themselves, right? And so they could say anything they wanted. Dave: True. Buffy: Wow! I had knowledge! (Dave smiles) Well, is there a way to find out exactly where a letter, an e-letter came from? I mean, the actual location of the computer? Dave: (considers) That's a challenge. Buffy: 'Cause, you see, Willow's got this boyfriend, Malcolm, and to tell you the truth, I think... Dave: (interrupts, annoyed) Leave Willow alone. Buffy: What do you mean? Dave: (insistently) That's none of your business. Buffy: (jumps to a conclusion) Dave, are you Malcolm? Dave: (turns back to the PC) Of course not. (types) Buffy: Dave, what's going on? Dave: Look, I'll talk to you later, okay? I've got work to do. She gets up and leaves. Buffy: (exhales) So do I. Fritz watches her go as she passes him. Cut to the library. Buffy follows Giles down the stairs to the counter. Buffy: I'm telling you, something is going on. It's not just Willow. Dave, Fritz, they're all wicked jumpy. Giles: Those boys aren't sparklingly normal as it is. Buffy: Giles, trust me. Giles: I-I do! I-I-I really don't know how to advise you. Things involved with a computer fill me with a childlike terror. Now, if it were a nice ogre or some such I'd be more in my element. Well, I-I suppose you could, um, tail Dave, see if he's up to something. Buffy: Follow Dave? What, in dark glasses and a trench coat? Please. I can work this out myself. Cut outside after school. Dave gets into his car, starts it and drives off. The camera pans over to Buffy wearing dark glasses and a dark coat as she watches him go. Cut to a front view of the CRD building. Cut to the loading dock in back. Dave drives up and gets out. Cut to outside the fence, where Buffy is looking in. She sees Dave go up to a technician and start talking to him. After a moment Dave and the technician go inside. The camera pans over to the CRD logo. Cut to a security camera turning towards Buffy. Cut to the view from the camera on Fritz's PC at school. It stops on Buffy and pulls in for a close-up. Fritz: She's too close. What do I do? Moloch: (on the monitor) Kill her. Fritz: Party. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ Sunnydale High. Buffy: Whatever Dave is into, it's large. Cut to the library. Buffy is sitting on the study table. Giles: What was the name of this place? Buffy: It said CRD. But, I couldn't get close enough to see what it was. Xander: Calax Research and Development. It's a computer research lab. Third largest employer in Sunnydale till it closed down last year. (gets stares from the others) What, I can't have information sometimes? Giles: Well, it-it's just somewhat unprecedented. Xander: Well, my uncle used to work there. I-in a floor sweeping capacity. Buffy: But it closed? Xander: Uh-huh. Buffy: Looked pretty functional from where I stood. I don't have a clue what they were doing. Xander: And what do they need Dave for? Buffy: Something about computers, right? I mean, he is off-the-chart smart. Giles: We still don't know an enormous amount. Whatever is going on there may be on the up-and-up. Xander: No, if CRD opened, it would've been on the news. Buffy: Besides, I can just tell something's wrong. My spider sense is tingling. Giles: Your... spider sense? Buffy: Pop culture reference. Sorry. Giles: Yes, well, ahem, I think we're still at a stand still. Uh, uh, short of breaking into the place, I don't see... Buffy: Breaking in! (slides off of the table) Then this is the plan! Xander: I'm free tonight! Buffy: Tonight it is! (goes over to Xander) Giles: (tries to dampen their excitement) A moment, please, of quiet reflection. I do not suggest that you illegally enter the... Ms. Calendar enters the library. Giles: ...data into the file so the book will be listed by title as well as by author. Ms. Calendar: I just came by to check your new data base, make sure your cross reference table isn't glitching. 'Cause I'm guessing you haven't gone anywhere near it. Giles: Uh, I'm still sorting through the chaos you left behind you. Ms. Calendar: Hmm. (to Buffy and Xander) You're here again? Kids really dig the library, don't cha? Buffy: We're literary! Xander: To read makes our speaking English good. Buffy: (embarrassed) We'll be going now. (grabs Xander and turns to leave) Giles: Uh, w-we'll, uh, continue this conversation at another time. Buffy: I think we're done. (they leave) (to Xander) Makes our speaking English is good? Xander: (defensively) I panicked, okay? Cut to the computer lab. Willow is chatting online with Malcolm. Malcolm: I've never felt this way about anyone before, Willow. Willow: I know what you mean. I feel like you know me better than anyone. Malcolm: I do. Willow: Do you think we should... meet? Malcolm: I think we should soon. Willow: I'm nervous. Malcolm: I'm not. Isn't that strange? Willow: That's what Buffy doesn't understand, how comfortable you can make me feel. Malcolm: Buffy just makes trouble. That's why she got kicked out of her old school. She is puzzled and pauses for a moment. Willow: How did you know that? Malcolm: It's on her permanent record. She doesn't respond, still puzzled. Malcolm: You must have mentioned it. Willow: (unsure) I guess. Malcolm: Let's not worry about her anymore. Willow: I have to sign off. I'll talk to you later. Malcolm: Don't. Willow: Bye. She turns off the monitor, gets up and leaves. Cut to the library. Ms. Calendar: (exasperated) You're a snob! Giles: (incredulous) I am no such thing. Ms. Calendar: Oh, you are a *big* snob. You, you think that knowledge should be kept in these carefully guarded repositories where only a handful of white guys can get at it. Giles: Nonsense! I simply don't adhere to a, a knee-jerk assumption that because something is new, it's better. Ms. Calendar: This isn't a fad, Rupert! We are creating a new society here. Giles: A society in which human interaction is all but obsolete? In which people can be completely manipulated by technology, well, well... Thank you, I'll pass. Ms. Calendar: Well, ahem, I think you'll be very happy here with your musty, old books. (opens Moloch's book) Giles: These musty old books have a great deal more to say than in any of your... fabulous web pages. Ms. Calendar: Hmm. (pages through the book) This one doesn't have a whole lot more to say. Giles stares at the empty book. Ms. Calendar: What is it, like a diary? Giles: How odd. I haven't looked through all the volumes yet, I didn't, um... He closes the book and sees the etching of Moloch on the cover. Ms. Calendar: What is it? Giles: (puzzled) Uh, nothing, um, a, a diary, yes. I imagine that's what it is. (pauses to think) Well, it's been so nice talking to you. (heads to his office with the book) Ms. Calendar: We were fighting. Giles: (absently) Must do it again sometime, yes... Bye, now. She watches him disappear into his office. Cut outside. The school nurse is frantic as she quickly walks along with a man. School nurse: I checked the computer, and there's nothing in his file about being allergic to penicillin! Buffy comes walking out of the school. Dave comes up to her. Dave: Buffy! Buffy: Dave! How're you doing? Dave: Okay. Uh, look, I'm sorry about yesterday. I haven't been getting much sleep lately, y'know? Buffy: Don't sweat it. Dave: (awkwardly) Willow was looking for you. Buffy: Good, I need to talk to her. Do you know where she is? Dave: She said she'd be in the, in the girls' locker room. Buffy: Great. Thanks. She looks at him for a moment, and then goes to find Willow. He watches her go. Cut to the girl's locker room. It's deserted. Buffy slowly walks down the aisle and into a row of lockers. Buffy: Will? She walks further. Buffy: Willow? Cut to Fritz in the shower. He turns the water on and leaves. Cut to Buffy. Buffy: Will? You taking a shower? She goes to the shower and sees that it's on, but no one's there. Buffy: I guess not. The camera cuts to a light above and follows an electrical cord from it down to the corner of the floor in the shower. Buffy walks into the shower to turn off the water. Buffy: This is how droughts get started. She turns the water off. The water creeps toward the exposed wires. Dave: Buffy! Get out! She turns to him and notices the wires. They begin to spark. She leaps out of the shower. An arc of electricity follows her for an instant. She lands on a changing bench and rolls off onto the floor. Dave runs from the locker room. She sits up and looks over toward the showers. The camera pulls back to show the soles of her shoes smoking. Cut to the computer lab. It's dark. Dave comes in and turns on a PC. Dave: I can't do it! I'm not gonna do it. Moloch: But you promised. Dave: (desperately) Buffy isn't a threat to you! Stop with it. Moloch: The project is almost complete. You won't have to do it again. Dave: (drops his bag and whimpers) Oh, I can't! Moloch: I've shown you a new world, Dave. Knowledge, power... I can give you everything. All I want is your love. Dave: No. This isn't right. None of it is. The scratch pad comes up on the monitor and Moloch writes a note: I'm sorry. I've been a terrible person. I'm a coward, and I can't go on living like this. Forgive me, Mom and Dad. At least now I'll have some peace. Remember me. Love, Dave. He backs away from the computer. Fritz is waiting behind him by the window. Cut to the library. Buffy sits at the table while Xander paces. Xander: I'm gonna kill Dave! Buffy: He tried to warn me. Xander: Warn you that he set you up? (to Giles) Is she gonna be okay? Giles: She was only grounded for a moment. (sits and hands Buffy a mug) Still, if you'd been anyone but the Slayer... Buffy: Tell me the truth: how's my hair? Xander: It's great! It's your best hair ever! (smiles) Giles: Uh, oh, yes. Buffy: I just... I don't understand what would make Dave do a thing like that. Giles: I think perhaps I do. He goes over to get Moloch's book from the cage. He comes back holding it up. Giles: Does this look familiar to either of you? Buffy: Yeah, sure. Looks like a book. Xander: I knew that one. Giles: (sets it on the table) In the dark ages the souls of demons were sometimes trapped in certain volumes. They remained locked within the book, harmless, unless the pages were read aloud. Unless I'm mistaken, this is Moloch, the Corrupter. A very deadly and seductive demon. He draws people to him with promises of love, power, knowledge. Preys on impressionable minds. Xander: Like Dave's. Giles: Dave, and who knows how many others. Buffy: And Moloch is inside that book? Giles: Not anymore. (opens the book) Xander: You released Moloch? Buffy: Way to go! Giles: I didn't read it! That dreadful Calendar woman found it and, and it was already blank. Buffy: Okay, so a powerful demon with horns is walking around Sunnydale, and nobody's noticed? Xander: I-if he's so big and strong, why bother with Dave? I mean, why didn't he just attack Buffy himself? Giles: I don't know. And I don't know who could've read that book. It wasn't even in English. Buffy: Where was it? Giles: Uh, in a pile with others that were, um, uh, scanned. They look over at the PC. Xander: And that released the demon? Buffy: No, he's not out here. (points to the PC) He's in there. Giles: The scanner read the book. It brought Moloch out as information to be absorbed. Buffy: He's gone binary on us. Xander: Okay, for those of us in our studio audience, who are me? You guys are saying that Moloch is in this computer? Buffy: And every computer connected to it by a modem. Giles: He's everywhere. Xander: What are we gonna do? Giles: Willow scanned him into her file. It may be... a futile gesture, but I suggest we, um, uh, delete it. Buffy: Solid! She gets up and walks over to the PC. Xander: Don't get too close. She sits down in front of it. Buffy: Okay. Okay. (turns on the monitor) So which file do you think it is? Willow? (types) That's probably it, right? I'll just delete the whole thing. She drags the file icon to the trash bin, and inhales in fright when Moloch's demonic face appears on the monitor. Moloch: Stay away from Willow! It is none of your business! The monitor returns to normal. Buffy: So that's what Malcolm looks like. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ The library. Buffy: So much for delete file. Giles: This is very bad. Xander: Are we overreacting? He's in a computer! What can he do? Buffy: You mean besides convince a perfectly nice kid to try and kill me? I don't know. How about mess up all the medical equipment in the world? Giles: Randomize traffic signals. Buffy: Access launch codes for our nuclear missiles. Giles: Destroy the world's economy. Buffy: I think I pretty much capped it with that nuclear missile thing. Giles: Right, yours was best. Xander: Okay, he's a threat, I'm on board with that now. But what can we do about it? Buffy: I think the first thing we do is find Willow. She's probably talking to him right now. God, that creeps me out! Xander: What does he want with Willow? Buffy: Let's never find out. (gets up) Okay, I'm gonna check the computer lab, and you guys call her home. Cut to the computer lab. Buffy comes in and looks around. It's dark. Buffy: Willow? The PC's suddenly all come on, startling her. She backs further into the room while looking around more. She turns around and jumps as she bumps into Dave. He's hanging from the ceiling with the note pinned to his shirt. Cut to the library. Xander is on the phone trying to reach Willow. He gives up. Xander: No answer. Giles: Damn it! Xander: (hangs up) Well, it wasn't busy either, so she's not online. Buffy comes back into the library. Xander: (to Buffy) She's not home. Giles: What did you find? Xander: (worried) Willow isn't... Buffy: Dave. He's dead. Giles: How? Buffy: Well, it looks like suicide. Xander: With a little help from my friends? Buffy: I'd guess Fritz. Or the other zomboids from CRD. Okay, (to Xander) you and I are gonna go to Willow's house. Giles, you need to come up with a way to get Moloch out of the 'Net. Giles: I, I have records of the ceremonies, but, but that's for a creature of the flesh. Th-this could be something completely different. Buffy: Then get Ms. Calendar. Maybe she can help you. Giles: Well, even if she could, how am I gonna convince her that there's a demon on the Internet? Buffy: Okay, fine, then you can stay here and come up with a better plan. (to Xander) C'mon. Cut to Willow's house. She's coming home. She unlocks the door and goes in. Cut inside. Willow: Mom? Dad? She closes the door. Cut to her room. She dumps her book bag on the bed and opens it. PC: You have mail. Willow looks at her PC. The mail icon is active. She goes over to her desk, logs on, clicks on the icon and opens the new message folder. Message: No more waiting. I need you to see me. She turns off her monitor and goes back to her bag. The monitor comes back on by itself again. PC: You have mail. Willow stares at it in disbelief. The doorbell rings, and after another look at her computer she goes to answer it. Cut to the front door. Willow: Dad, did you forget your keys again? She opens the door, but no one's there. She turns to go back in. As she starts to close the door behind her Fritz reaches around her head with a cloth splashed with chloroform. After a brief struggle Willow loses unconsciousness. Fritz: No more waiting. Cut to the library. Giles is researching and listening to the radio. Radio: A spokesman for the archbishop denied the allegations, blaming computer error for the apparent financial discrepancy. Giles: Binding rituals... Radio: In Washington D.C., the FBI today reported that all of its serial killer profiles have been mysteriously downloaded from its central computer. Ms. Calendar knocks on the door. Ms. Calendar: Hi. I got your message. What's so urgent? Giles: (turns off the radio and gets up) Um, thank you for coming. Uh, I need your help. (laughs nervously) But before that, um, I need you to believe something that, um, you may not want to. Uh, there's, uh... something's got into the, um... i-i-inside, um... (takes a breath and lets it out) There's a demon in the Internet. Ms. Calendar: I know. Giles is surprised to hear that. Cut to Willow's house. Buffy and Xander arrive and find the door open. Buffy: Willow?! Cut inside. Xander: This isn't good. Buffy: Willow?! They come in and head for Willow's room. Cut to Willow's room. Buffy: Willow?! They walk into the room and see that Willow isn't there. Xander: Okay, any thoughts? Buffy looks around and sees the message on the computer. Buffy: (reads) 'No more waiting, I need you to see me'? (to Xander) See him how? Where? Xander: What about CRD? Buffy: The research place? Xander: I'm guessing that's Moloch central. Buffy: Guessing that's our best lead. Let's just hope Giles can back us up. They leave. Cut to the library. Giles unfolds his arms and gets up from the table. Giles: You already know? How exactly is that? Ms. Calendar: Come on, there've been portents for days. I mean, power surges, online shutdowns... You should see the bones I've been casting. I *knew* this would happen sooner or later. I mean, it's probably a, a mischief demon, y'know, like Kelkor, or... Giles: It's Moloch. Ms. Calendar: The Corrupter? Oh, boy. (exhales) I shoulda remembered, I just don't... Giles: Uh... You don't seem exactly surprised by... Who are you? Ms. Calendar: I teach computer science at the local high school. Giles: A profession that hardly lends itself to the casting of bones. Ms. Calendar: (exasperated) Wrong and wrong, snobby. You think the realm of the mystical is limited to ancient texts and relics? That bad old science made the magic go away? Mm. The divine exists in cyberspace same as out here. Giles: Are you a witch? Ms. Calendar: Mm. I don't have that kinda power. 'Technopagan' is the term. Giles lets out a chuckle. Ms. Calendar: There are more of us than you think. Giles: Well, uh, you can definitely help me. (gets the book) Um... What's in cyberspace at the moment is less than divine. They go out into the main area. Giles: I have the binding rituals at hand, but I'm completely out of my idiom. Ms. Calendar: Well, I can help! I think... I hope, I mean, well, (sits at the PC) this is my first real... Do you know how he got in? Giles: He was, uh, 'scanned' is the term, I believe. Ms. Calendar: And you want him back in the book? The phone rings. Giles goes to get it. Giles: Buffy! Buffy: (cut to a pay phone outside CRD) Yeah. Giles: Willow? Buffy: Not at home. It looks like she was taken somewhere. Giles: (cut to him) Where are you? Buffy: (cut to her) CRD. Whatever Moloch wants Willow for, it's probably in there. Giles: (cut to him) Ms. Calendar and I are, uh, working to get Moloch offline. Buffy: (cut to her) Here's a tip: hurry! (hangs up) Cut to a lab inside CRD. It's dark. Willow is lying on a table unconscious. She wakes up. After a moment she sits up and looks around. She sees Fritz and a technician standing there, and beyond them a computer monitor. The camera begins to close on the monitor. Moloch: Welcome, my love. Cut to the camera starting to close in on Willow. Cut to the camera closing in on the monitor again. Moloch: I can't tell you how good it is to see you... The camera closes in on Willow's terrified face. Cut to the monitor. A metal hand slaps down on it. The camera pans up to Moloch's face. A robot body has been built for him. Moloch: ...with my own two eyes. Willow is breathing hard and is very afraid. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4~~~~~~~~~~ The lab at CRD. Willow is terrified. Moloch: Willow. Willow: (whispers) Malcolm. Fritz and the technician come to get her and take her by the arms. Moloch slowly comes closer. Moloch: This world is so new, so exciting. I can see all of it. Everything flows through me. I know the secrets of your kings. But nothing compares to having form again. To be able to walk, (puts his hand on Fritz's head) to touch, (breaks Fritz's neck) to kill. Willow watches Fritz's dead body fall. She looks back up at Moloch. Cut outside. Buffy lands on the other side of the fence. Xander yells as he falls after climbing over the top. Buffy helps him up. Xander: Back way? Buffy: Back way. They make for the rear entrance. Xander is limping badly. Cut inside. Buffy kicks the doors open. She walks in determinedly. Cut to the lab. Moloch: Here they come. Cut to the library. Ms. Calendar is lighting candles. Ms. Calendar: The first thing we have to do is form the circle of Kayless. Right? Giles: Form a circle? But there's only two of us. That's really more of a line. Ms. Calendar: You're not getting it, Rupert. We have to form the circle inside. (sits at the PC) I'm putting out a flash. I just hope enough of my group responds. Giles: Won't Moloch just shut you down? Ms. Calendar: Well, I'm betting he won't figure out what we're doing until it's too late. Giles: Hoping and betting, that's what we've got. Ms. Calendar: You wanna throw in praying? Be my guest. Cut to the lab at CRD. Willow: I don't understand. What do you want from me? Moloch: I want to give you the world. Willow: (suspiciously) Why? Moloch: You created me. I brought these humans together to build me a body. But *you* gave me life. Took me out of the book that held me. I want to repay you. Willow: By lying to me? By pretending to be a person? Pretending you loved me? Moloch: I do! Cut to the lobby. Buffy and Xander walk up to the guard. He gets up to stop them, but she punches him out and continues. Xander notices the guard's monitor. Xander: Uh, Buffy! She comes back to look. Buffy: It's her! Xander: Yeah, who's the other guy? Cut to the lab. Moloch: Don't you see? I can give you everything! I can control the world! Right now a man in Beijing is transferring money to a Swiss bank account for a contract on his mother's life. Good for him! Cut to another hall. Buffy and Xander come through the doors. She finds the door to the lab and tries to force it open. Buffy: I can't bust it. It's heavy steel. Xander: Then let's find another way in. He starts toward the next set of doors when an alarm goes off and red lights flash. Xander jumps to the door to try it. It's locked. He comes back. Xander: What's goin' on? Buffy spies a security camera. Buffy: Building's security system is computerized. Xander: Whoops! A gas begins to spray into the hall. Cut to the library. Ms. Calendar: Almost there. Giles: Couldn't you just stop Moloch by, by entering some computer virus? Ms. Calendar: You've seen way too many movies. Okay! We're up. You read, I type. Ready? Giles: Uh, I am. By the power of the divine, by the essence of the word, I command you... Cut to the hall at CRD. Buffy and Xander are pounding on the doors. Xander begins to cough. Cut into the lab. Willow: Let me leave? Moloch: But I love you! Willow: Don't say that! That's a joke! You don't love anything! Moloch: You are mine! Willow: I'm not yours! I'm never gonna be yours! Never! Moloch lowers his head and considers for a moment while Willow just watches and waits. He raises his head again. Moloch: Pity. Cut to the library. Giles: By the power of the circle of Kayless, I command you... (sees her typing) Kayless, with a 'K'. Cut to the hall. Xander slides down the wall to the floor, almost unconscious. Buffy is still weakly hitting the door. Cut to the lab. Moloch has Willow cornered. He reaches up and puts his hand on her head. Moloch: I'll miss you. Willow screams. Cut to the library. Giles: Demon, come! Cut to the lab. Moloch screams and lifts his arms in pain, letting go of Willow. He begins to writhe. Cut to the library. Giles: I command you! Cut to the lab. Buffy comes in though the door with Xander close behind. She leaps into a jumping side kick, making a dull thud when she connects with Moloch's chest, but he only staggers a bit, and she just falls to the floor. Buffy: Ow... Guy's made of metal! The technician grabs Xander from behind and pulls him away. Buffy quickly gets up and looks at Willow while Moloch continues to writhe in pain. Moloch: No! I won't go back! Buffy grabs Willow's hand and they run out of the lab. Cut to the library. Giles: Demon, COME! Cut to the lab. Moloch continues to scream. Cut to the library. The computer sparks several times. Cut to the lab. Xander pushes the technician back into a wall, turns around and punches him out. He quickly follows the girls out. Xander: Hey! I got to hit someone! Moloch falls to his knees. Cut to the library. Wind is blowing inside and the computer monitor is flashing. Cut to the lab. Moloch screams loudly. Cut to the library. Giles and Ms. Calendar watch the monitor flicker. Cut to the lab. Moloch's screams die out. Cut to the library. The computer monitor stops flashing. Smoke comes out of the back of it. Ms. Calendar: He's out of the 'Net. He's bound. Giles goes over to the book, picks it up and opens it to look. Giles: He's not in the book. Ms. Calendar: (gets up and looks at it also) He's not in the book. Well, where is he? Cut to the lab. Moloch slowly raises his head. Cut to the hall. Buffy and Willow open a set of doors and see a guard and two technicians running toward them. They push the doors closed. Xander: Let's go this way! (begins to run the other way) Buffy: Wait! Xander is still limping heavily. Suddenly Moloch crashes through the wall between them. He looks at Xander and backhands him in the face. Xander falls to the floor unconscious. Moloch turns and advances on the girls. He starts to swing at Buffy, and she tries to block the hit, but he doesn't budge and just pushes her aside and into the wall. She slides to the floor, a bit dazed. Moloch: (angrily) I was omnipotent. I was everything! Now I'm trapped in this shell! He reaches out to grab her by the head. Willow: Malcolm! Moloch turns to face her. She has a fire extinguisher. Willow: Remember me, your girlfriend?! She pounds the extinguisher into his chest hard enough to make him bend back. Willow: Well, I think it's time we break up! She hits him again even harder. Willow: Or maybe we can still be friends! She tries again for his face, but this time he grabs the extinguisher from her and throws it down. He grabs her and shoves her down the hall into Xander, who's just getting up again. They both crash to the floor. Buffy has recovered from her daze and gets up to face Moloch. He turns his attention on her. Moloch: This body's all I have left. But it's enough to crush you! Buffy looks around for a way to deal with him. She notices a power junction box on the wall. She faces him again and eases her way in front of the box. Buffy: Take your best shot. Moloch rears back for a punch and swings. Buffy ducks away, and he punches right into the electrical box. It shorts out, and Moloch is enveloped by high voltage electricity. Buffy runs over to Willow and Xander and crouches down to protect them. Moloch's circuitry overloads, and his body explodes. His head lands right in front of them. Cut to the school the next day. Cut to the computer lab. Ms. Calendar is standing at her desk and typing on her PC. Giles comes in, clears his throat and knocks on the open door. She turns to see who's there. Ms. Calendar: (smiles) Well, look who's here! Welcome to my world. (with a bit of an attitude) You scared? Giles: I'm remaining calm, thank you. Uh, I just wanted to, uh, return this. (holds up a small curly earring) I found it among the new books, and naturally I thought of you. Ms. Calendar: Cool. Thanks. (takes it) Giles: Uh, well, I'll, I'll see you anon. (begins to go) Ms. Calendar: Can't get outta here fast enough, can you? Giles: (comes back in) Truthfully, I'm even less anxious to be around computers than I used to be. Ms. Calendar: Well, it was your book that started all the trouble, not a computer. Giles is at a loss. Ms. Calendar: Honestly, what is it about them that bothers you so much? Giles: The smell. Ms. Calendar: Computer's don't smell, Rupert. Giles: I know! Smell is the most powerful trigger to the memory there is. A certain flower or a, a whiff of smoke can bring up experiences... long forgotten. Books smell. Musty and, and, and, and rich. The knowledge gained from a computer, is, uh, it... it has no, no texture, no, no context. It's, it's there and then it's gone. If it's to last, then, then the getting of knowledge should be, uh, tangible, it should be, um... smelly. Ms. Calendar: Well! You really are an old-fashioned boy, aren't you? Giles: Well, I-I don't dangle a corkscrew from my ear. Ms. Calendar: (mischievously) That's not where I dangle it. She walks past him and smiles. Giles follows her with his gaze and looks Puzzled yet intrigued. Cut outside to the fountain. Xander and Buffy are trying to cheer up Willow. Xander: We gonna go to the Bronze tonight? We three? Buffy: It'll be fun! Xander: Yeah, Willow, fun? Remember fun? That thing where you smile? (smiles) Willow: Oh, I'm sorry guys. I'm just thinking about... Buffy: Malcolm? Willow: Malcolm, Moloch... whatever he's called. The one boy that's really liked me, and he's a demon robot. What does that say about me? Buffy: It doesn't say anything about you. Willow: I mean, I thought I was really falling... Buffy: (interrupts) Hey, did you forget? The one boy I've had the hots for since I've moved here turned out to be a vampire. Xander: Right, and the teacher I had a crush on? Giant praying mantis? (goofy smile) Willow: That's true. (smiles) Xander: Yeah, that's life on the Hellmouth. Buffy: Let's face it: none of us are ever gonna have a happy, normal relationship. Xander: We're doomed! Willow: Yeah! They all laugh. Their laughter quickly becomes nervous and stops. Only the fountain can be heard as they each consider their plight.

[an error occurred while processing this directive] The Puppet Show Written by: Dean Batali & Rob Des Hotel Directed by: Ellen Pressman Transcribed by: AleXander Thompson Copyright © 1997 Alexander Thompson ~~~~~~~~~~ Prologue ~~~~~~~~~~ In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. Backstage in the Sunnydale High School auditorium. Emily is doing ballet stretching exercises. The camera shows her from the demon's point of view as he observes her from low to the floor. Demon: (exhales) I will be whole. I will be new. (exhales) The camera moves through the backstage area. A number of students are practicing their acts. Among them are Lisa playing her tuba and Marc rehearsing his magic act. The camera eventually reaches Morgan and his dummy, Sid. Morgan rubs his temples a moment and then looks around. Cut to the stage. Cordelia is singing "The Greatest Love of All" off key. Cordelia: Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all. I decided long ago... Cut to Giles in the seats. He does *not* want to be there. Cordelia: ...never to walk in anyone's shadow. (cut to Cordelia) If I fail, if I succeed, at least... Giles: (interrupts) Thank you, Cordelia. Tha-that's going to be lovely. Cordelia: But I didn't do the part with the sparklers! Giles: Um, w-we'll, um... save that for the dress rehearsal. (anxious to get rid of her) Uh, Lisa! Please! Cordelia: Uhhh! She puts the microphone back on its stand and leaves the stage as Lisa sets up with her tuba. Cut back to Giles as Lisa begins her solo. He rubs his eyes. Buffy, Willow and Xander come down the center aisle. Buffy: (draws a breath) If it isn't the great producer! They go into the seats and sit around Giles. Xander: Had to see this to believe it. Giles: Oh. You three. Buffy: The school talent show. How ever did you finagle such a primo assignment? Giles: Our new Führer, Mr. Snyder. Willow: I think they call 'em 'principals' now. Giles: Mm. He thought it would behoove me to have more contact with the students. I did try to explain that my vocational choice of librarian was a deliberate attempt to (draws a breath) minimize said contact, but, uh, he would have none of it. Buffy: Giles, unto every generation is born one who must run the annual talentless show. You cannot escape your destiny. Giles: If you had any shred of decency, you would have participated, or at least, um, helped. Buffy: Nah! I think I'll take on your traditional role... and watch! Xander: And mock! Willow: And laugh! They all laugh. Buffy: O-kay. I think maybe we better leave our Mr. Giles to this business he calls a show. The three of them get up and start back up the aisle. Principal Snyder is waiting there for them. Buffy: Principal Snyder! Snyder: So. We think school events are stupid, and we think authority figures are to be made fun of. Buffy: No! No, we don't. W-unless you do. Snyder: And we think our afternoon classes are optional. All three of you left campus yesterday. Buffy: Yeah, but we were fighting a demon... Snyder: Fighting? Buffy: Not fighting. Xander: No, we, uh, left to *avoid* fighting. Snyder: Real anti-social types. You need to integrate into this school, people. (crosses his arms) I think I just found three eager new participants for the talent show. Buffy: What? Xander: No! Willow: Please? Snyder: I've been watching you three. Always getting into one scrape or another. Buffy: Well, we're really, really sorry, but about the talent show, pleeease, you can't make us... Snyder: (interrupts) My predecessor, Mr. Flutie, may have gone in for all that touchy-feely relating nonsense, but he was eaten. You're in *my* world now. And Sunnydale has touched and felt for the last time. He starts past them down toward the stage. Xander: Can I just mention, that detention is a time-honored form of punishment? Buffy nods vigorously in agreement. Snyder: I know the three of you will come up with a wonderful act for the school to watch. And mock. And laugh. At. He continues down to the stage. Xander can't believe this. He points up with both index fingers and sits down in a seat. Xander: No! Buffy spaces out and moans. She goes back into Giles' row, sits next to him and looks to him for sympathy. He has none to give, and tries to hide a smirk. The tuba solo is over. Willow just stands there with a big frown on her face. Giles: (to Lisa) Thank you! The next act sets up. It's Morgan with his dummy, Sid. Buffy: Ewww, dummy! Xander: (sees a mime and jumps in his seat) Dyow! Mime! Willow: (sits behind Buffy) I think dummies are cute. You don't? Buffy: Uuuhhh. They give me the wig. Ever since I was little. Willow: What happened? Buffy: I saw a dummy. It gave me the wig. There really wasn't a story there. Morgan: (on stage) Hi. I'm Morgan. (moves the dummy's head) And I'm Sid! He is an awful ventriloquist, and Giles winces. Buffy raises her eyebrows and stares in disbelief. Morgan: (as Sid) Hey Morgan, would you like to tell some jokes? (as himself) Would I! (as Sid) As a matter of fact, it is! It's also a wood nose, and a wood mouth! Willow can't believe his act either. Morgan laughs nervously for Sid. Buffy looks at Giles. He takes off his glasses. Morgan: (as Sid) I didn't sleep at all last night. Sid: Alright, time out. Let's stop this before someone gets hurt. (to Morgan) Kid, you are the worst. Even I can see your lips move. Buffy starts to giggle. Giles looks up again and puts his glasses back on, intrigued now that he sees he may have at least one good act. Morgan: C'mon, Sid. You're spoiling my act. I worked on these jokes for weeks. Sid: You call those jokes? My jockey shorts are made out of better material. A few students have gathered at the edge of the stage to watch Morgan's act and laugh. Sid: And they're edible! More laughs from the students. Buffy, Willow and Xander are into it now, too. Giles: There, you see? I'm sure you three can come up with something... equally exciting. Sid smiles. Cut to the girls' locker room. Emily is changing back into her regular clothes. She puts her ballet outfit and shoes into her locker and closes it. She hears a noise. Emily: Is anybody there? She walks to the end of the row of lockers and peeks around the corner. Emily: Hello? She walks around to the next row of lockers. No one's there. The demon exhales as it watches her from low to the floor. Emily: Hello? She continues down the row toward the showers. The demon comes up behind her. Emily turns and screams. Fade to black. Demon: I will be flesh! Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ The talent show tryouts. Marc: I reach into the hat, and out... comes... He lifts the hat and looks around frantically. Marc: Has anybody seen a rabbit? He begins to search along the floor. The camera follows Elliot as he juggles and walks past Marc toward Lisa, then it follows her for a few steps. The camera pulls back to Xander, Willow and Buffy practicing a dramatic scene. Xander poses with his right arm in the air to begin his line. Xander: I can't do this! Buffy: Xander, come on. Xander: I, I can't! I have my pride! Okay, I don't have a lot of my pride, but I have enough so that I can't do this! He goes over to the steps at the side of the stage to sit. Willow follows him. Willow: A dramatic scene is the easiest way to get through the talent show, because it doesn't require an actual talent. (sits above him) Xander: But we have talent. We can do stuff. Buffy, uh... Buffy: (also sitting now) What am I gonna do? Slay vampires on stage? Willow: Maybe in a funny way! Xander: Willow, you can do stuff. Uh, the piano... Buffy: You play? Willow: A little. Buffy: Well, that's cool. You can accompany us and we can *attempt* to sing. Willow: Oh, i-in front of other people? Then, no, I don't play... Xander: Whatever happened to corporal punishment? Sid whistles at the girls. Xander, Buffy and Willow look at him and Morgan. Sid: Mm, mm, mm. Look at the goodies! Morgan looks embarrassed. Willow gets up and goes over to him. Willow: Morgan, you're really getting good! Where did you come up with that voice? Morgan: It's kind of an imitation of my dad. Buffy: Sounds real! Sid: It is real. I'm the one with the talent here. The kid's dead weight. (to Willow) How about you and I do a little rehearsin' on our own, honey? Xander: Uh, hey! Sid: You know what they say: once you go wood, nothin's as good! Buffy: Okay, Morgan. We get the joke. Horny dummy, ha, ha, it's very funny, but you might wanna consider getting some new schtick. Unless you want your prop ending up as a Duraflame log. Morgan and Sid exchange a look. Cut to a view of the seats from above. Principal Snyder and Giles come in through the doors at the back of the auditorium. The camera slowly pans down to them as they walk down the aisle. Snyder: Kids today need discipline. That's an unpopular word these days, 'discipline'. I know Principal Flutie would have said, 'Kids need understanding. Kids are human beings.' That's the kind of woolly-headed, liberal thinking that leads to being eaten. Giles: I, I think perhaps it was a little more complex than, um... Snyder: This place has quite a reputation. Suicide, missing persons, spontaneous cheerleader combustion... You can't put up with that. You've gotta keep an eye on the bad element. They reach the stage and stop. The camera has closed in on them. Snyder nods up towards the stage. Snyder: Like those three. Cut to Buffy, Willow and Xander practicing their dramatic scene. Cut to Snyder. Snyder: Kids. I don't like them. From now on you're gonna see a very different Sunnydale High. Tight ship, clean, orderly, (faces Giles) and quiet. Cut to the girls' locker room. A girl screams loudly when she discovers Emily's body. Cut to later as the paramedics prepare the body for transport. Giles comes out of the locker room into the hall. He ducks under the yellow police tape and goes over to the team. Giles: (clears his throat) It was Emily. Willow: Emily. Dancer Emily? Xander: Oh, man! I hate this school. Giles: Uh, it must have happened just after, uh, dress rehearsals. There was a cross-country meet at Melville. She, she, she never showed up for it. Buffy: Vampire? Giles: Um, I think not. Buffy: Giles, share! What happened? Giles: (exhales) Her heart was removed. Willow: Yikes! Buffy: Does that mean anything to you? Besides (shudders) ooooooo? Giles: Uh... (exhales) There are various demons which, which feed off human hearts, but... They look back and see the knife being put into an evidence bag. Buffy: But demons have claws. And teeth. Xander: They got no use for a big old knife. Giles: Which more than likely makes our murderer... Buffy: Human. Xander: Did I mention that I *hate* this school? Willow: So Emily was killed by a regular human person. Giles: The evidence certainly points that way. Buffy: No, wait. I-I'm not buying, you guys. Remember the Hellmouth? Mystical activity is totally rife here. This to me says demon. Giles: I'd like to think you're right. A demon is a creature of evil, pure and very simple. A person driven to kill is, is, um, it's more complex. Willow: The creep factor is also heightened. It could be anyone. It could be me! (gets looks from them all) It's not, though. Giles: Uh, demon or no, we have some investigating to do. I suggest we start with your... your talent show compatriots. One of them may have been the last to see her alive. Cut to the band room. Buffy is interviewing Lisa. Lisa: I didn't know her too well. There's that whole dancer/band rivalry, y'know? Buffy: I've heard about that. Lisa: But I did speak to her a little the day that... yesterday. Buffy: How did she seem? Cut to outside, where Giles is interviewing Marc as he shuffles a deck of cards. Marc: She was happy. I guess. She was psyched to be doing the show. She was a really good dancer. Here, pick a card. Giles: Uh, um... (reaches for a card) Marc: No, wai-wai-wai-wait. Not that one. Pick this one. Giles: (takes the card) Do you remember the last time you saw her? Marc: She was talkin' to someone. Giles: Who? Cut to a classroom. Willow and Elliot come in. Elliot: That smart guy. The one with the dummy. What's his name? Willow: Morgan? Elliot: Yeah, that's it. He was actin' kinda strange. Willow: Strange how? Cut outside to cheerleader practice. Xander is talking to Cordelia. Cordelia: It's just such a tragedy for me. Emma was, like, my best friend. Xander: Emily. Cut to the band room. Lisa: Well, Morgan's just strange. He's always rubbing his head a lot and moaning. Especially the other day. Cut outside. Marc: He seemed kinda paranoid... Lookin' around at everyone... Cut to the classroom. Elliot: And I think I saw him arguing... with his dummy. Cut outside. Cordelia: All I can think is, it coulda been me! Xander: We can dream. Cut to the auditorium. Buffy comes in through the front side door. She looks around and walks over to the stage. She sees Sid on a stool, facing the curtain. Sid: (to Morgan offstage) Right now you and me gotta be on the lookout. Figure out who's gonna be next. Morgan: (comes on stage) How are we supposed to... (sees Buffy) Oh, hi. Buffy: Hello. Morgan: I was just working on throwing my voice. (walks upstage) Buffy: Uh, Morgan, did you notice anything weird going on around here yesterday? Morgan: (gathers Sid up) Weird? What d'you mean? (goes down the steps from the stage) Buffy: With Emily. Did she say anything to you, was she arguing with anyone? Morgan: (goes over to Sid's case) No. She was dancing. (opens the case) Sid and I were talking. Buffy: Talking. Morgan: Rehearsing. Buffy: So, you didn't notice anything weird at... He holds his hand to his forehead in pain and sits down. Morgan: Ohhh! Buffy: Morgan, are you okay? Sid: Look, sweetheart! He answered your question. Now leave him alone! Morgan's pain has subsided, and he looks up at Buffy. Buffy: Okay, Morgan, how 'bout talking to me yourself now? Sid: He said all he's gonna say. Morgan looks nervously between Buffy and Sid. He gets up. Morgan: It's okay, Sid. We're done. (puts Sid in his case) Buffy: I'm sorry. Look, I didn't mean to make you mad. Morgan: No! I'm... (quietly) It's him! (indicates Sid) He's... (closes the case) We have to go. (grabs the case and leaves) Buffy: (taken aback) Cute couple. Cut to the library. Willow, Buffy and Xander come in. Xander: Okay, next time we split up someone else is on Cordy detail. Five more minutes with her and we woulda had another organ donor. Willow: I think I had a bit more luck. Everyone I talked to seemed to point their fingers at the same person. They all come into Giles' office. Buffy: Morgan? Willow: Morgan. Xander: We have a winner! Giles: I fear I was led to the same conclusion. Xander: Well, what do we do? We don't slay him, right? We wanna bring him to justice. Willow: We could set up a complex sting operation where we get him to confess! Xander: Uh, I should wear a wire! Buffy: Whoa, hey, you guys, all we know is that Morgan is a grade A large weirdo. That doesn't lead directly to murderer. Xander: Guy talks to his puppet! Willow: And for his puppet. Buffy: Well, yeah, but what about the whole 'it's a demon' theory? Giles: I'm looking into that, but, uh, my investigation is somewhat... hampered by our life in the theater. Buffy: Uh, priority check, Giles? (weighs the two with her hands) Talent show, murder. Xander: Yeah, we can't do the talent show, it's unthinkable. I'm not able to think it! Giles: Principal Snyder is watching us all very closely. Now, if he chooses, he can make all our lives extremely difficult. A Slayer cannot afford that! We will find this murderer, but in the meantime... the show must go on. Buffy: This is so unfair. Giles: Buffy, you, uh, watch Morgan. Check his locker, see if there's anything there. Willow: Like a heart? Giles: Or something. Buffy: Alright. Willow: I'll pull up his locker number. (goes to the PC) Xander: Can I still wear a wire? Cut to the hall after school. Buffy quietly comes through the doors from the stairwell, looking around to see if anyone's there. She passes a door. It opens, but Buffy doesn't see it, only hears the sound. Cut to a shot of her through the door from low to the floor. She twists around to look behind her toward the sound, but doesn't realize it was the door that's now ajar. She goes back to looking for Morgan's locker and finds it. She starts to work the combination. Buffy: Okay... Two to the left, three to the right... She looks in both directions again, and then slams her palm into the lock. When she takes her hand away there's a clean hole. She reaches in with her fingers and undoes the latch. She looks around in the locker, and is about to take Sid's case out when Principal Snyder grabs her hand from behind, startling her. Buffy: Principal Snyder! Snyder: What are you doing? Buffy: Uh, looking for something. Snyder: School hours are over. You, therefore, should be gone. Buffy: And I'm going any minute now. (laughs nervously) Snyder: There are things I will not tolerate: students loitering on campus after school, horrible murders with hearts being removed. And also smoking. Buffy: Well, I don't do any of those things. Not... ever. Snyder: (suspicious) There's something going on with you. I'll figure it out sooner or later. (Buffy smiles) Do you need something here? Buffy: Oh! (looks into the locker) Yeah! Right! Um, a friend wanted me to get something... out of his case! She pulls the case partially out of the locker, opens it and is surprised to find it empty. She quickly closes it and looks at Snyder. Buffy: He must've taken it and just forgotten to tell me. Snyder: Mm-hmm. Morgan and Sid see what's going on from behind the door. Snyder: Get along home now. It's late. He turns and heads down the hall. Buffy watches him go. Cut to the stage. Sid is in the chair. Morgan paces. Morgan: No, I can't do it! Sid: It's the only way. Morgan: I don't want... Sid: She's the one. Morgan: But... Sid: You saw what she did, how strong she is. Morgan: I know, but... Sid: She's the last! Just this one more, and I'll be free. Morgan: I won't. Sid: I will! Cut to Buffy's room at home. Her mom knocks on the door and comes in. Joyce: Hi, hon. How's it, uh, going with the talent show? Buffy: It'll be over soon. Joyce: (lets out a laugh) It can't be that bad! I, for one, am looking forward to seeing your act. Buffy: Seeing? I-in the sense of actually attending? Joyce: Of course! Buffy: Uh-uh! No, Mom, y-y-you can't! And, I mean, if I know you're out there watching, I'll freeze up, stage fright. Joyce: But I wanna support what you're doing! Buffy: Look, Mom, if you really love me, and wanna show your support, you'll stay away. Far away. Joyce: Honey, is there, uh... Is there something bothering you? I-I mean, besides your fabulous debut. Buffy: Nothing. There's just a lot going on right now. Joyce: Well. Get some sleep. You'll feel better in the morning. Buffy: Good plan. Joyce leaves the room and closes the door behind her. Buffy gets into bed. The camera follows her hand as she reaches over to turn off her lamp in front of the window. When it goes out Sid is there looking in. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ Buffy's room. She's sleeping. She wakes to the sound of quick, light footsteps and sits up. More footsteps. She sees something go under her bed and leans over the edge to look underneath. Nothing. She comes back up and sees Sid there, screams, and knocks him off of the bed. Sid runs away. Buffy quickly gets out of bed as her mother rushes into the room and turns on the light. Joyce: Honey, what is it? Buffy: (comes over to her mom, frightened) In the bed, in the covers there's something! Joyce: Where? They go to the bed to investigate. Buffy: There's something there. Joyce grabs the covers and goes through them. Joyce: Well, well, there, there's nothing there now. Are, are you sure you didn't have a nightmare? Buffy: No! There's some... There is... (exhales and puts her hands on her head) Yeah... You're probably right. (exhales and drops her hands) I'm sorry I got you up. Joyce: Don't worry about it. I was dreaming about bills. (kisses Buffy's forehead) Sweetheart, you shouldn't (points) go to sleep with the window open. She touches her daughter's cheek, then leaves the room. Buffy looks at her window. Buffy: (confused) I didn't. Cut to Sunnydale High School. Marc: And my lovely assistant steps into the box... Cut to the stage in the auditorium. Marc's assistant steps into the box. He closes the door and turns it around. Marc: And... behold! He opens the box, but his assistant is still there. Marc: You were supposed to leave! Xander and Willow are in the seats watching and laughing. Marc closes the door to the box and butts his head against it. Giles comes out from backstage with Cordelia close behind. Cordelia: I don't understand why I... why I have to follow Brett and his stupid band. Giles: Because we have to clear their equipment before the finale. I told you. Cordelia: But the mood! It'll be all wrong! (gets in front of him and stops him) My song is about dignity and human feelings and personal... hygiene or something. Anyway, it's sappy, and no one is gonna be feeling sappy after all that Rock and Roll. Giles doesn't want to hear it. He gives Cordelia a look like something's wrong. Cordelia: Uhhh, what? Giles: Oh! I'm sorry. Um, your hair, uh... Cordelia: There's something wrong with my hair? (pulls it behind her ears) Giles remains silent, but continues to stare. Cordelia: Ohmigod! (quickly leaves) Giles: (to himself) Xander was right. It worked like a charm. He sees Buffy come down the aisle and goes over to her. Giles: Hello. You look a bit worse for, uh... Buffy heads into the seats to Willow and Xander. Giles follows. Giles: What exactly are you the worse for? Buffy: Where's Morgan? (sits) Giles: Uh, I, I... haven't seen him. Xander: Did he do something to you? Buffy: No, it was his... Sid, the dummy. She suddenly has Giles' full attention. Buffy: Okay, everyone look at me like I'm in a bunny suit, 'cause that's how stupid I feel saying this... I think Sid was in my room last night. Willow: With Morgan? Buffy: No. He was alone. And alive. Xander: Did you see him? Buffy: Well, I saw something. I-it ran across my floor, under my bed and then it attacked me. Giles: Attacked you? How? Buffy: It was like it pounced on my face. Xander: Like a cat. Buffy: Yeah, exactly! But when I turned the lights on it was already gone. I-I think it went out my window. Xander: Like a cat. Buffy: Yeah! No! It was Sid, the dummy. Giles: Or possibly the nightmare of somebody who had... dummies on her mind. Willow: You did say they creep you out. Buffy: Excuse me? Can I have a *little* support here, please? I'm not just some crazy person, I'm the Slayer. Xander: The dummy Slayer? (gets a look from Buffy) There's nothing funny about that. Willow: Well, on the side of the 'Morgan's just crazy' theory there is, (sees Morgan go by carrying Sid) well, Morgan. Morgan opens Sid's case. Buffy: I'd like to see Morgan without his better half for a few minutes. Bet he could tell me something. Morgan sits down with Sid on his lap. Giles: Oh, uh, i-if it's any consolation, I... I may have found a possible demon culprit. (holds up a book) The-there's a reference in here to a brotherhood of seven demons who take, uh, the form of young humans. Every seven years these demons need human organs, a-a-a brain and a heart, to maintain their humanity. Otherwise they, they, they revert back to their original form, which is, uh, uh, slightly less appealing. He hands Xander the book open to a sketch of one of the demons. Willow: So Morgan could still be the guy, only demon Morgan instead of crazy Morgan. Morgan fusses with Sid's shoes. Giles: It's said that these demons are, are, are preternaturally strong, and, and, and... Morgan is, is... Well, he seems to be getting weaker every day. Morgan puts his hand on his head. Buffy observes him. Cut to history class. Mrs. Jackson lectures as she walks around the room. Mrs. Jackson: It was as a result of this that President Monroe put forth the eponymous, meaning named after one's self, Monroe Doctrine, which in one sense established the U.S. as a local peacekeeper. She walks behind Buffy, who is intently watching Sid. Sid turns his head back to look at her and lowers his brows. Buffy is creeped out and looks down at her desk. A moment later she looks back up at him. Sid just stares back. Cordelia notices and leans over to comment. Cordelia: Looks like someone digs you. That's adorable. You and the dummy could tour in the freak show! She smiles smugly as she leans back into her chair. Buffy says nothing. She just looks back at Sid, then down at her desk again. Mrs. Jackson: Okay, who can tell me how Spain responded to this policy? Sid is whispering to Morgan. Mrs. Jackson notices. Mrs. Jackson: Morgan? Morgan? Morgan: (looks at Sid, then up) What? Sid: Morgan has other things on his mind. The students laugh. Mrs. Jackson approaches Morgan. Mrs. Jackson: Give me your puppet. Morgan: I'll put him away. Mrs. Jackson: (takes Sid) You'll get it back after school. She opens a cupboard, puts Sid in and closes it. Mrs. Jackson: Okay, then. In the first part of the nineteenth century... Sid: (from inside the cupboard) I'm still watchin' you. Buffy looks at the cupboard. Mrs. Jackson: Morgan, that is enough! Xander and Buffy look at Morgan. He looks back at Buffy, then at Mrs. Jackson. Cut to after school. Morgan comes back into the classroom to retrieve Sid. Morgan: Mrs. Jackson. Mrs. Jackson: Morgan. Morgan: You said you'd give me... Mrs. Jackson: Oh, of course. She gets up and goes over to the cupboard. Morgan follows her expectantly. Before she gets Sid out she stops and faces Morgan. Mrs. Jackson: Y'know, I wanted to ask you, is everything okay? At home, here at school? Morgan: Yeah, it's great. Mrs. Jackson: I feel like you've become... a little detached. Morgan: Mm! (rubs his head in pain) Mrs. Jackson: You're one of the brightest kids I've seen in a long time, but lately it seems like you're not all there. Morgan has both his hands on his head now, rubbing. Mrs. Jackson: Try not to let other things get in the way. Morgan: (takes his hands down) Okay! Can I get Sid now? Mrs. Jackson: Sure. She goes over to the cupboard and opens it, but Sid is gone. She turns back to Morgan. Mrs. Jackson: It's gone! Morgan: Gone? Whadaya mean, gone? Where could he have gone? Mrs. Jackson: I put it right here. Morgan: He knew to wait for me. He knew I'd be back. Mrs. Jackson: What do you mean 'he'? Morgan: What did you do with him? Where is he? Cut to the library. Xander has Sid and is playing with him. Buffy, Willow and Giles come in. Willow and Giles have their arms full of costumes. Buffy sees Xander holding Sid. Buffy: Where did you get that? Xander: Oh, I, uh, took it out of Mrs. Jackson's cupboard. I thought you said you wanted to be able to speak to Morgan alone, and uh... well, Morgan's alone, and, uh... Sid's with me. Buffy stares at Sid uncomfortably. Xander: (manipulating Sid) Hi, Buffy! Hi, Willow! Would you like to hear some off-color jokes? Buffy: I really don't think you should be doing that. Xander: What? C'mon... (as Sid) I'm not real! Buffy: (wigged) Xander, quit it! She turns and walks a few steps away. She stops and looks back when she hears Xander pounding Sid's head into the table. Xander: He's... not... real! (picks Sid back up) I think our demonstration proves that, uh, Sid (knocks on Sid's head several times) is wood. Now, why don't you go and find Morgan and prove he's... whatever he is? Giles: I imagine he's looking for his puppet. Buffy: I'll go find Morgan. (starts to leave, but stops and gives Xander a look) You watch the dummy. Xander: (as Sid) Bye-bye, now. I'm completely inanimate. Buffy gives Xander another look and goes out the door. Xander: (as Sid) Redrum! Redruuum! Willow: What do we do with him? Xander: Eh, I'll keep him company. Giles: Willow, we have some hunting of our own to do. Willow: Once again I'm banished to the demon section of the card catalog. Xander looks at Sid and goes over to the table with him. Giles and Willow go up into the stacks. Giles: You concentrate on re-animation theory. I'll peck about in organ harvesting. Unless, of course, you prefer... Willow: That's okay, you can have the organs. Xander puts Sid in the chair at the end of the table. Xander: So, I guess it's just... you and me, huh? (turns Sid's head away and pats him) That looks more comfortable. He leaves Sid there, and the camera closes in on him. Buffy: Morgan? Cut to the auditorium. Buffy walks along the front and then up the stairs to the stage. Buffy: Morgan? Cut backstage. Buffy draws a curtain aside, but no one's there. She takes the steps down to the makeup area and tries a door. It's locked. She hears another door close and turns toward the sound. A gust blows through another curtain. Slowly she walks toward it. She quickly turns her head when she senses something behind her, and sees Principal Snyder at the top of the steps to the stage. Buffy: Principal Snyder! Snyder: Looking for something? Buffy: Have you seen Morgan Shay? Snyder: (comes down the steps) You know, with everything that's been going on recently, I'm not sure how safe it is for a girl like yourself to be here... alone. Buffy: Well, I was just leaving. And I know how to take care of myself. They stare at each other a moment. Snyder: Alright, then. He goes back up the stairs and leaves. Cut to the library. Xander looks over at Sid in his chair, then turns back to his homework. Cut to the stacks. Willow: (to Giles) Look what I found in the section on toys and magic: (reads) 'On rare occasions inanimate objects of human quality, such as dolls and mannequins, already mystically possessed of consciousness, have acted upon their desire to become human by harvesting organs.' Giles: Emily's heart. Willow: Morgan's dummy. Giles: Mm. Cut to Xander. He gets up to get a reference book. When he gets back to the table Sid is gone, but Xander doesn't notice. He slams the book on the table, sits down again and begins to read. After a moment he glances at Sid's chair and jumps up frightened when he sees it empty. Xander: Whoa! He climbs onto the table. Giles and Willow come running out of the stacks. Giles: What is it? Xander: He's gone! (indicates the chair) Sid's gone! Giles: What? Oh! Willow: Uhhh! They're both frightened and look around themselves. Cut backstage. Buffy continues to look around. She hears some creaking. Buffy: Morgan? She backtracks a bit and goes toward the noise. She pushes some clothes on a rack aside, but sees nothing. She continues and eventually stumbles on something. She looks down and sees Morgan's body lying there. Buffy: (whispers) Morgan! (slowly backs away) Demon's got himself a brain. She keeps backing through a bead curtain and hears a snapping noise above. She looks up and sees a wrought iron chandelier falling on her. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ Backstage. Buffy is unconscious under the chandelier. She wakes and moans. Her vision is a bit blurred. She hears quick little footsteps and immediately becomes alert. She sees Sid run across the catwalk above her. She tries to lift the chandelier off of herself, but it's very heavy. Sid has come down now, and Buffy sees him in the shadows. Buffy: Who's ever out there, I'm gonna hurt you! Badly! If you'll just gimme a minute... She tries lifting again, but to no avail. She looks back to where she saw Sid and sees his knife poised above her. She turns her head just in time to avoid being stabbed in the face. Sid lifts the knife and tries again, but misses. Buffy flails out with her left arm and knocks him away. She tries lifting again, and this time she shifts the chandelier enough to get out from underneath it. Sid attacks her from behind as she slides out, but she knocks him away and into a wall. His knife goes sliding across the floor. Buffy gets out and jumps over on top of Sid, pinning him against the wall with her arm. Sid: You win. Now you can take your heart and your brain and move on. Buffy: I'm sure they would have made great trophies for your case. Sid: That woulda been justice. Buffy: Yeah, except for one thing: you lost, and now you'll never be human. Sid: Yeah, well, neither will you. They are both confused. Buffy and Sid: What? Cut to the library. Giles and Xander stare at Sid in wide-eyed and open- mouthed amazement. Willow and Buffy just stare and listen. Sid: This is what I do. I hunt demons. Yeah, you wouldn't know it to look at me. Let's just say there was me, there was a really mean demon, there was a curse, and the next thing I know I'm not me anymore. I'm sitting on some guy's knee, with his hand up my shirt. Willow: And ever since then you've been a living dummy? Sid: The kid here was right all along. I shoulda picked you to team up with. But I didn't because... Buffy: Because you thought *I* was the demon. Sid: Who can blame me for thinking? Look at you! You're strong, athletic, limber... (goes off into his own world) nubile... (shakes his head) I'm back! In any case, now that this demon's got the heart and brain, he gets to keep the human form he's in for another seven years. The tea kettle is whistling. Giles gets up to tend to it. Giles: I must say, it's a welcome change to have someone else explain all these things. Sid: There were seven of these guys. I've killed six. If I can get the last one, the curse will be lifted and I'll be free. I'm sure it's someone in that stupid talent show. Buffy: Yeah, but now that demon has what he wants. He'll be moving on. Sid: So, once we know who's missing from the show... Buffy: We'll know who our demon is! Giles: (remembering) The show! Buffy: What? Giles: It's gonna start! I'm supposed to be there! Buffy: (to Willow) Okay, um, start pulling everyone's addresses in the talent show. I-if they're not there, maybe we can catch them at home. Sid: (to Giles) And you, get 'em all on stage, form the power circle. Then we can see who's a no-show. Giles: Um, uh, the what? Sid: The power circle. You get everyone together, you get 'em, you know, revved up. Giles: Right. (still confused, but goes) Sid: How'd *he* ever get that gig? Cut backstage. Giles: Fifteen minutes to curtain, everyone! Uh, fifteen minutes! He turns to go back out. Cordelia chases him down. Cordelia: I, I can't go out there. All those people staring at me and judging me like I'm some kind of... Buffy! What if I mess up? Giles: Cordelia, there, uh, there-there's, uh, uh, an adage, uh, that, uh, if you're feeling nervous then, uh, you should imagine the entire audience are in their underwear. Cordelia: Eww! Even Mrs. Franklin? Uhhh! Giles: Perhaps not. Cordelia: Yeah. Giles: (to everyone) Um, alright, um, we'll assemble on the stage in five minutes for the, um, uh, power thing. Cut to the catwalk. Sid and Buffy are sitting and waiting to see who's missing from the circle. Sid: So, what's your deal, kid? I don't figure you for a demon hunter. Buffy: I'm a Vampire Slayer. Sid: (surprised) You?! You're the Slayer? (Buffy nods) Damn! I knew a Slayer in the 30's. Korean chick. Very hot. We're talking *muscle* tone. Man, we had some times. (gets a look from Buffy) Hey, that was pre- dummy, alright? Now, I was a guy! Buffy: So, you kill the demon and the curse is lifted, right? Sid: That's the drill. Buffy: You don't actually turn into a prince, do you? I-I mean, your body... Sid: Is dust and bones. When I say free... Buffy: You mean dead. Sid: Don't get sniffly on me, sis. I've lived a lot longer than most demon hunters. Or Slayers, for that matter. Buffy looks down, depressed about her lot in life. Sid: (puts his hand on her knee) Of course, if you want to snuggle up and comfort me... Buffy: (takes his hand off of her knee) So, that horny dummy thing really *isn't* an act, is it? Sid: Nope! Buffy: Yuk! Sid and Buffy look down onto the stage. Giles: I-is everybody here? The talent gathers on the stage. Sid: Okay, here comes our line-up. Giles: Quickly, everyone! Uh... um, power circle. The students arrange themselves in a circle and hold hands. Sid and Buffy scan the group for any missing members. Giles looks around as well. The camera follows his gaze. Giles: Well, that's that, then. Um, everybody, uh, get ready! Some of the students don't get it, but the circle breaks up quickly as they scramble to get ready. Giles scratches his head, confused. Buffy bends down and slips underneath the catwalk railing. Buffy: (to Sid) Hold on. She drops to the stage below. Sid watches her fall. She lands squarely on her feet and goes over to Giles. Giles: No one's missing. Buffy: So the demon isn't in the show. Giles: It seems not. Uh, tell the others. Look, it's nearly curtain. I must get the show rolling. Buffy: Right. Giles: Right. She looks for Sid up on the catwalk, but he's gone. Buffy: Sid? Cut to Principal Snyder nosing around backstage. Giles sees him, and Snyder faces him. Giles isn't sure why he's there. Snyder puts his fist into his palm and walks away. Giles follows him. Cut to Buffy, still looking for Sid. Buffy: Sid? She stops next to a workbench. Something drips onto her arm from above. She shakes it off and looks up. She reaches up to a shelf to see what's dripping, and Morgan's brain falls down and into her hands. She lets out a startled yelp and drops the brain. It jiggles when it hits the floor. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ The library. Willow is at the PC. Buffy walks up to her staring at her hands. Buffy: I'm never gonna stop washing my hands. Xander: So, the dummy tells us that he's a demon hunter. And we're, like, fine, la la la la. He takes off, and now there's a brain. Does anybody else feel like they've been Keyser Soze'd? Buffy: Sid's on the level, I'm sure of it. But why would the demon have rejected the brain? I-I mean, I thought Morgan was the smartest kid in school. Willow: He was, look at his grades: all A's. He was even taking college classes. Wait a second. Buffy: What? Willow: All these sick days. Xander: He was off for, like, half the year! Buffy: Check the school nurse's file. Willow: (types) Look at this! 'In case of emergency, contact Dr. Dale Leggett, California Institute of Neurosurgery, Cancer Ward.' Xander: Brain cancer? Willow: That's why he had all the headaches. Buffy: This means that whatever's out there still needs a healthy, intelligent brain. Xander: In other words, I'm safe! (smiles) Buffy: And it's gonna be looking for the smartest person around. She and Xander look at Willow. She looks back and forth between them. Willow: What? Cut backstage. Giles is helping Marc set up, and has a pair of weights in his hands. Giles: Yes, if you, you calibrated the units of weight then you could calculate the, uh, specific maximum velocity achieved before the point of impact. Marc: Gee, Mr. Giles, you're really... smart! Could you do me a favor? Cut to the library. Willow: What could a demon possibly want from me? Xander: What's the square root of 841? Willow: 29. Oh, yeah. Buffy: Don't worry, Willow. As long as you're with us there's absolutely no way that demon is gonna get what he wants. Cut backstage. Marc tests his guillotine on a honeydew melon. Giles picks up a half melon. Giles: Oh, my! Marc: Pretty cool, huh? Giles: Are you sure there's no one else who could help you out? Marc: My assistant got sick. You won't have to say anything. I'll, I'll show you. Lie down. Giles: (inspects the guillotine) Uh, uh, how, how exactly does it work? Marc pulls the blade back up by its rope and ties it down. Marc: A good magician never tells his secrets. He sees his hand and arm begin to revert to demon form, and shakes his sleeve to get it to cover up better. Marc: C'mon. We haven't got much time. Cut to the library. Buffy is pacing nervously. Buffy: This is ridiculous. We can't just sit here and wait for him to come to us. We have to figure out who we're dealing with. Xander: I still vote dummy. Buffy: No. Okay, so we ruled out all the people in the talent show... Willow: That's because they were all there. But that's before we found the brain. Buffy: Right. So it probably *is* one of them. And, and Giles doesn't know! He's with them all right now! Xander: Uch! Giles can handle himself. I mean, he *is* really... (clicks in his mind) smart! Cut to the hall outside the library. Buffy slams the door open and runs out and down the hall. Buffy: GILES! Xander and Willow are hot on her trail. Cut backstage. Giles is strapped down to the guillotine bench. Giles: Sh-sh-shouldn't it be aimed at my neck? Marc: No. No, this way your scalp gets sliced off and your brains just... come pouring out. He slides the head restraint down onto Giles' forehead. He reaches over and locks it down with a padlock. Giles: What exactly is the trick? Marc: Trick? (pulls the chest restraint tighter) Giles: Marc? Marc goes over to the block where the rope holding the guillotine blade is tied down. He grabs his hatchet and takes a swing at the rope. Giles is terrified. Marc takes another swing. The rope is half cut now. Giles: M-Marc? A third swing, and the rope is almost cut through. The blade slips a bit. Giles looks up at it in terror. Another swing, and the rope hangs by a thread. Marc raises the hatchet for the final cut. Buffy lunges at him and tackles him to the floor. She leg sweeps Marc, kicking his legs out from under him as he tries to get up. She stands up and adopts a fighting stance. As Marc tries to get up again, she throws an inverted crescent kick to his face, and he goes down again. Marc growls as he starts to get up, and Buffy sees that the skin on his face is beginning to turn back into its demon state. Buffy: Ewww! Marc takes advantage of her distraction and jumps up and punches her, then follows up with a backhand fist to her face. She spins around and falls to the floor. The rope stretches and snaps, and the blade begins to fall. Giles yells out and clamps his eyes shut. At the last instant Xander grabs the rope from midair and stops the blade. Giles hears it stop and opens his eyes. He sees it go back up as Xander pulls on the rope. Buffy gets up, but is punched by the demon and falls again. Willow goes to Giles and begins to undo the restraints. Willow: Where are the keys? Giles: Marc's got it! Xander: Willow! He kicks the hatchet over to her. She picks it up and begins to hack at the lock. Giles: Hurry! Buffy gets up again and runs over to Marc. She grabs him and falls backward, pulling him down with her and flipping him over onto his back. She flips up to her feet and turns to face him in a front stance. When he gets up she punches him in the face and kicks him in the stomach with a hopping front snap kick. He staggers backward and stumbles into his disappearing-act box, and the door closes on him. Willow keeps hacking at the lock on the guillotine. Buffy: How do you lock this thing? That wouldn't have made any difference because Marc just punches through the box and reaches for her. She quickly backs away as he kicks and shoves his way out of the box. He has completely reverted to his demon form now. He comes at her, grabs her by the neck, and lifts her from the floor. Giles: (yells) What's happening? Willow keeps hacking. The demon slams Buffy up against a wall with his hand around her throat. He pulls her away and slams her into the wall again. Xander can only watch as he holds on to the rope. Willow gets the lock to break and quickly pulls it off. She and Giles push the head restraint up, and he gets out as fast as he can. He reaches down to undo the restraint at his feet. Sid finally shows up, jumps onto the demon's back and begins stabbing with his knife. Sid: I found you! The demon ignores Sid and continues slamming Buffy into the wall. Giles gets himself loose. Sid has forced the demon to let go of Buffy and has jumped off. She hits the demon in the face with an open hand punch followed by a backhand punch. Giles gets off of the bench as Buffy does a full spinning side kick to the demon's gut, making him stagger back onto the bench and land with his neck in the guillotine. Buffy: (to Xander) Let go! Xander lets go, and the blade falls, chopping off the demon's head. Its body slumps lifeless on the bench. Willow cringes at the sight. They all stare at what's left of the demon. Giles: Uh... I must say, all of you... Your t-timing is impeccable. Sid: And now for the big finish. He has positioned himself over the demon's chest with his knife. Buffy: What are you doing? Sid: It's not enough. He'll come back. You have to get the heart. Then all of this'll be over. She holds out her hand for the knife. Buffy: Let me. Sid: I got it. Thanks. He wields back with the knife and plunges it into the demon's heart. He pulls back to do it again, but his aim was true the first time, and he just slumps over onto the demon with the knife still in his hands, now a lifeless puppet. Buffy looks at Sid sadly and lets out a deep breath. Giles takes off his glasses. Buffy gently lifts Sid from the demon and holds him in her arms. She starts to walk off stage. Buffy: (to Sid) It's over. She stops as the curtain is drawn and looks out at the audience. Giles puts his glasses back on and stares out as well. Willow is still holding the hatchet as she stands there looking out at the audience with a nervous look on her face. Buffy and Xander look out, too. Principal Snyder doesn't understand what he is seeing. Snyder: I don't get it. What is it? Avant-garde? ~~~~~~~~~~ Epilogue ~~~~~~~~~~ The stage. Xander, Willow and Buffy are doing their act. Willow: (stiff with fear) Oh, ruler of my country, Oedipus, you see our company around the Altar, and I, the priest of Zeus! Xander: (nervous) Ha, ha! They prophesize that I should kill my father. But he is dead. (kneels down and gestures like he's grabbing a handful of dirt) And hidden deep in the soil. But surely I must fear my mother's bed. Buffy: (bored) (walks around Willow to Xander) Oh, Oedipus, Oedipus, unhappy Oedipus, (briefly puts her hand on his head) that is all I can call you, (goes back to her place) and all that I ever shall call you. (faces away from the audience) Xander: (gets back up) Darkness! And horror of darkness. Unfolding, restless, visitant, sped by an ill wind in haste. Willow is frozen in fright. Buffy has turned back around and rolls her eyes at Xander's fumbling of his lines. Xander: Madness, and... Madness a-and stabbing pain, and, a-and, uh... oh... oh... memory of, uh, i-ill deeds I have done. Buffy nudges Willow to cue her. She is too terrified to say her next line and runs from the stage. Xander and Buffy step together to fill the gap left between them. Nightmares Story by: Joss Whedon Teleplay by: David Greenwalt Directed by: Bruce Seth Green Transcribed by: AleXander Thompson Copyright © 1997 Alexander Thompson ~~~~~~~~~~ Prologue ~~~~~~~~~~ In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. The Master's lair. The camera pans through the chamber and over to the entrance, where Buffy is quietly making her way in, stake in hand. She stops and takes a look around. Slowly she makes her way down to the floor below. She raises the stake to be ready. The camera moves behind a pillar where the Master is hiding. Buffy continues into the lair. She spins around and raises the stake when she senses the Master behind her. He hisses loudly. Buffy freezes with fear and drops the stake. She slowly retreats as the Master advances on her. When she can't retreat any further she watches as the Master reaches out with his hand and clasps it around her neck. She looks up at him as he closes in for the bite. Buffy: NO! NO! Cut to her room. She's having a nightmare. Her mother is sitting on the edge of her bed trying to shake her awake. Buffy: No... Joyce: Yes. Buffy wakes suddenly with her eyes open wide. Joyce: It's time to get up for school. Buffy: Mom? Joyce: Are you alright? Buffy: No. Uh, yeah! Yeah! I'm, I'm fine! Oh... (sits up) School! Great. (gets out of bed) Joyce: You wanna go to school? (stands up) Buffy: Sure! Why not? Joyce: Okay. (opens the blinds) Good day to buy that lottery ticket. I spoke with your father. Buffy: He's coming, right? Joyce: You're on for this weekend. Buffy: Good. Cut to Sunnydale High. Willow: So, do you see your dad a lot? Buffy: Not a whole lot. Cut to the halls. Willow and Buffy walk as they talk. Buffy: He's still in L.A. He, like, comes down for weekends sometimes. Willow: When did they get divorced? Buffy: Well, it wasn't finalized till last year, but they were separated before that. Willow: Musta been harsh. They reach Buffy's locker. Buffy: Yeah, that's the word you're looking for. (works the combination) I-I mean, they were really good about it around me, anyway, but still... Willow: My parents don't even bicker. Sometimes they glare. Do you know why your folks split up? Buffy: (opens her locker) I didn't ask. They just stopped getting along. I'm sure I was a really big help, though, with all the slaying and everything. I was in so much trouble. I was a big mess. Willow: Well, I'm sure that didn't have anything to do with him leaving. Buffy: No. (closes her locker) Willow: And he still comes down on weekends. Buffy: Sometimes. Cut to class. Cordelia is checking her makeup in her mirror. Wendell comes over and stops to look at his paper in the light. Cordelia: Hello? Doofus! (Wendell looks at her) You're in my light. Xander: Wendell, what is wrong with you? Don't you know that she is the center of the universe, and the rest of us merely revolve around her? Cordelia: Why don't you revolve yourselves out of my light? The bell rings. Wendell and Xander go to their seats. Willow and Buffy come in. Xander: (to the girls) Uh, Wendell was in Cordelia's light. Wendell: I'm so ashamed. Willow: Why is she so Evita-like? Buffy: I think it's the hair. Willow: (smiles) It weighs heavy on the cerebral cortex. Xander: Hey, guys, was there any homework? Willow: We're doing active listening today. Xander: Cool! What's active listening? Willow: That would be the homework. (they sit) Buffy: Chapter five? Active listening? (shows her book) Where you put on your big ears and really focus on the other person? Wendell: Ms. Tishler demonstrated it yesterday. Willow: With you! Buffy: She was wearing that tight sweater? Xander: Oh, the midnight blue angora! See, I was listening. Willow gives him a look. Ms. Tishler: Alright, take your seats. In a moment we will choose partners and practice what we read about in chapter five. Xander cups his ears with his hands while smiling and shaking his head around. Ms. Tishler: Good, Xander, that's the spirit! Willow and Buffy give each other amused looks. Ms. Tishler: Before we do, let's review. Isaacson's research led him to conclude that one of our most fundamental needs after food and shelter is to be heard. Buffy drops her pencil and bends down to pick it up. Ms. Tishler: Wendell, would you read the first two paragraphs on page seventy-eight... As Buffy sits back up she sees Billy, a young boy, standing at the door looking in at her. Ms. Tishler: ...where Isaacson describes the rapid improvement active listening brought to some special needs clients. Wendell opens his book. He screams and drops it on his desk when there are suddenly a bunch of tarantulas crawling out of it. Ms. Tishler and the students closest to him scream and quickly get out of their chairs and away from him. The tarantulas crawl all over Wendell. Wendell: Please! Get 'em off of me! Help! Help! Get 'em off of me! Help me! Oh, please help me! Please! Billy: Sorry about that. Wendell: Please help me! Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ The Master's lair. Collin is sitting, listening to the Master. Master: Fear is a wonderful thing. It is *the* most powerful force in the human world. (crouches to face Collin) Not love, not hate... Fear! When you were a mortal boy, what did you fear? Collin: Monsters. Master: Ooo. (gets up) We are *defined* by the things we fear. (goes to the large cross) This symbol, these two planks of wood, it confounds me. Suffuses me with mortal dread. But fear is in the mind. (puts his hand on the cross and holds on while it burns) Like pain. It can be controlled. (lets go) If I can face my fear, it cannot master me. (looks up) Something is happening above. Something new, powerful, psychic force. Do you feel it? Collin: I feel change. Master: Change. Yes. For the worse. The camera pans up above the cross and through the ground to the school. Joyce arrives to drop Buffy off. Joyce: You're awfully quiet this morning. Buffy: I didn't sleep well. Joyce: I'll say. I came in to check on you twice. You were yelling in your sleep. Do you know what you were dreaming? Buffy: (shakes her head) Not really. Oh, no, my bag! I-I packed it for the weekend and I forgot it! Joyce: You and your dad can swing by the house and get your bag. It's not an international crisis. Buffy: Okay. Yeah, I just, uh, had meant to bring it. H-he's picking me up here, right? A-at 3:30? Joyce: Honey, a-are you worried your father isn't gonna show? Buffy: No! N-not really. Should I be? Joyce: Well, of course, not! I-I-I just, I-I know it's a hard situation. You just have to remember that your father adores you. No more than I do, by the way. Buffy: (smiles) Goodbye. Joyce: Have a great day. Buffy: Thanks. (gets out) Cut to the halls. Buffy comes around the corner and is met by Willow and Xander. Willow: Oh, Buffy, we've been looking for you. Xander: We have? Willow: Oh, about the spiders, did you talk to Giles about... Xander: Oh, the spiders! Willow's been kind of, um, what's the word I'm looking for? Insane about what happened yesterday. Willow: I don't like spiders, okay? Their furry bodies, and their sticky webs, and what do they need all those legs for anyway? I'll tell you: for crawling across your face in the middle of the night. Ewww! How do they not ruffle you? Xander: I'm sorry! I'm unruffled by spiders. Now, if a bunch of Nazis crawled all over my face... Buffy: Mm, it was pretty intense. Willow: Thank you. Xander: Well, the Hellmouth, the center of mystical convergence, supernatural monsters: been there. Buffy: Little blase' there, aren't you? Xander: I'm not worried. If there's something bad out there we'll find, you'll slay, we'll party! Buffy: Thanks for having confidence in me. They enter the library. Cut inside. Xander: You da man, Buff! Willow: Okay, but we're still caring about the spiders here. Let's not forget the spiders. Buffy: Well, Giles said he was gonna look it up. Giles? Willow: Maybe he's in the faculty room. Giles comes out of the stacks and looks around bewildered. Buffy: Hey, Giles! Wakey, wakey! Giles: I was, uh, in the stacks. I got lost. Xander: Did you find any theories on spiders coming out of books? He reaches around Willow's shoulder with his arm while wiggling his fingers. Xander: Big, hairy, crawly... Willow is startled. She twists around and hits Xander. Xander: (to Willow) It's funny if you're me. Giles: (mildly confused) I couldn't find anything, uh... particularly illuminating. Um, I think perhaps you'd best have a chat with Wendell himself. Buffy: Okay. If he can still talk. She gives Giles an odd look. They start out of the library. Giles looks back into the stacks, still confused. Cut outside. Wendell is sitting on a bench. The team approaches him. Buffy: Hey, Wendell. How are you? Wendell: (looks up) Huh? Buffy: You okay? Xander: Good talking to ya, man. He pats Wendell on the back and starts to leave, but Buffy pulls him back. Wendell: Do you guys want something? Buffy: We just thought you might wanna talk about what happened. Willow: You know, yesterday? With the spiders? Wendell: I don't know what to say about that. Xander: There's nothing *to* say. You saw two hundred insects, you Gonzoed, anybody would have. Wendell: They're not insects. They're arachnids. Xander: They're from the Middle East? Wendell: Spiders are arachnids. They have eight legs. Insects only have six. Why does everyone make that mistake? Buffy: Don't know. Has anything like this ever happened before? Wendell nods his head 'yes'. Buffy: When? Wendell: Lots of times. Willow: Ew! You must hate spiders more than I do. Wendell: (smiles and laughs) I don't hate spiders. I love 'em. They hate me. Cordelia walks by behind Wendell and turns to Buffy. Cordelia: I hope you studied for the history test. Buffy: What history test? Cordelia: The one we're having in fourth period right now. Buffy: There's a history test? Nobody told me there was a history test! I haven't... I... Okay, I will catch up with you guys later. (runs off) Willow: (sits) What do you mean, you love spiders? Xander: It is platonic, right? (chuckles) Wendell: I had the best collection in the tri-county area. Browns and tarantulas and black widows... Then my folks shipped me off to wilderness camp. All my brother had to do was maintain their habitats. Instead he left their heat lamp on for a week. When I came home they were all dead. That's when the nightmares started. Willow: The nightmares? Wendell: It's always the same. I'm sitting in the classroom, teacher asks me to read something, I open up my book and then there they are. They're comin' after me. God, can you blame them after what I did? Xander: And that's how it happens? Every time? Wendell: Yesterday in class I thought I'd just nodded off again. But then everyone else started screaming, too. Cut to the hall. Buffy is looking for her history class. Cordelia is waiting by the door, holding it open. Cordelia: You don't know where class is, do you? Buffy: Uh... Cordelia: Hardly a shocker. You've cut history just about every time we've had it. Buffy: Well, I was there the first day. I think. Cordelia: It's in here. Buffy: I haven't been to class, I haven't read any of the assignments, how am I gonna pass this test? Cordelia: Blind luck? Cut into the classroom. Buffy is sitting and looking around at the other students. The teacher walks by. She looks over at Cordelia, who apparently isn't having any problems with the test. Cordelia turns the page, looks back at Buffy and goes back to taking the test. The teacher comes by again and stops to glance at Buffy's work. He continues, apparently satisfied. Buffy flips through the short answer test. All the pages are still blank. She glances up at the clock. 11:20. She looks at the space for her name. Buffy: Well, at least I know my name. She starts to write, but her pencil breaks. She lets out an exasperated breath. She grabs her sharpener and sharpens her pencil. She looks back up at the clock, and it's now 12:10 already. She stares at it in disbelief. She looks around at everyone. The teacher is watching her intently and tapping his pencil. She looks back down at her test and the bell rings. All around her the students get up and begin turning their tests in as she just sits and watches. Billy appears at the door and looks in. Buffy sees him there with a sad look on his face. He walks off down the hall. The classroom is empty now, and Buffy is sitting at her desk alone. Cut to the hall. Billy is walking along and comes upon two girls talking as they come down the stairs. Laura: Well, they both got detention, which is completely unfair since Sean started it. Anyway, it means we can't do the movie. The other girl looks disappointed as they stop in front of the basement door. Laura: I'm gonna take a (makes a smoking gesture) break. Her friend leaves. She looks around to see if anyone's watching, opens the door and goes in. Billy: (to himself) You shouldn't go in there. (shakes his head) Cut inside the basement to a shot of the stairs. Laura comes in and closes the door behind her. The basement area is dark. She comes down the steps and looks around. Satisfied that no one's there she puts down her books and gets out her pack of smokes. Cut to a shot of her from behind a rack. She has her pack and pulls out a cigarette. The Ugly Man behind the rack watches her as she lights up. He comes into the weak light. His face is badly scarred. Ugly Man: Lucky nineteen! He attacks Laura. She screams. He begins to whale on her with his huge deformed club arm as she screams and tries to roll out of the way of his blows. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ The hospital. Cut to a hall. Buffy and Giles look for Laura's room. Buffy: I think they said room 3016. Giles: Do you know the girl? Buffy: To say hi to. Laura's nice enough. Nobody saw who attacked her? Giles: Well, I was rather hoping that Laura did. Cut inside Laura's room. She has cuts and bruises all over. Buffy and Giles come in. She sees them and looks up at Buffy. Buffy: Hey, Laura. Laura: Hi. Giles: I hope we're not intruding, um... He holds out a small potted flower arrangement. Buffy takes it from him and sets it next to the bed. Laura: That's okay. I don't wanna be left alone. Giles: You understand we're anxious to make sure this, this doesn't happen again. Buffy: (sits) Can you tell us what happened? Laura: I was in the basement. I went down for a smoke. There was... someone there. Buffy: Someone you knew? Laura: I've never... seen anything like it. Buffy: (exchanges a look with Giles) It? Giles: Can you describe it? Laura is having trouble talking about it and can't answer. Buffy: Hey, that's okay. Don't worry about it. Giles: Yes, you, you, you just rest now. Buffy: You know, but... Nurse: (comes in) Hi, Laura. Buffy: ...i-if you remember anything? You can tell us. Even if it may seem weird. Nurse: She needs her rest now. Giles and Buffy start to go. Laura: 'Lucky nineteen.' Buffy and Giles stop and turn around. Giles: I'm sorry? Laura: It's what he said, right before... He said 'lucky nineteen'. That's weird, right? Giles: Yes. Yes, it is. Buffy: Feel better. (smiles) Giles: Take care. They leave the room. Cut to the hall. Giles sees her doctor there. Giles: Doctor, is she gonna be alright? Doctor: You family? Buffy: Friends. Doctor: She'll recover. She's got a couple of shattered bones, a little internal bleeding... she got off pretty easy. Buffy: Easy? Giles: Have you looked up the word lately? Doctor: Well, the first one's still in a coma. (stops at another room) Buffy: First what? Doctor: First victim. (looks into the room) They found him a week ago. Exact same M.O. as the girl, only he's in worse shape. If he doesn't wake up soon... Somebody's gotta stop this guy. Buffy: Somebody will. Cut to the school. Punk: Listen, I'm not afraid of him. Cut to the hall. Punk: Hey, if he wants to fight, then I'm takin' him down. I'm not backin' off on this. This is about honor. I'll break his neck! Cut to Willow and Xander coming down the hall to her locker. Willow: I'm just saying, Wendell had a dream and then that exact thing happened. Xander: Which is a fair wiggins, I admit, but do you think that ties in with Laura? Willow: I dunno. Maybe she dreamed about getting beat up. We should ask Buffy when she gets back from the hospital. The punk's mother suddenly appears in the hall. Xander sees the encounter and grins. Mother: Oh, there's my little baby! Punk: Mom, what are you doing here? Mom... Mother: (laughs and kisses) How's my little pookie? Punk: Mom, mom, please don't kiss me in front of the guys! It's embarrassing, mom! Please! Mother: (laughs) You cute little rascal, you! Punk: Mom... Thanks, but mom, please, my friends are right here... Willow closes her locker. They head to their next class. Xander: It could be a coincidence. Y'know, Wendell finds a spider's nest, and we all wig because he dreamt about spiders. So it may not be connected. They enter the classroom. The students see Xander come in and start to laugh. Xander: If there is a connection it doesn't sound like anything... What? Willow is confused, and looks behind her at Xander. His clothes are gone, and he's standing there in his underwear. Willow: Xander! What happened to your...?! Xander: I-I-I dunno! I was, uh, dressed a minute ago! It's a dream. It's gotta be a dream. (pinches himself) Ow! Wake up. (pinches himself again) Ow! Gotta wake up. He realizes he's not dreaming and runs from the room screaming. Willow chases after him. Cut to the library. Giles is going over a number of newspapers. Giles: This can't be happening. This can't be... Buffy comes into the library. Buffy: What's the word? Giles: Oh, uh, I've got back issues of the, uh, papers, um, to try to do some research. Buffy: Did you find anything? Giles: I don't know. Buffy: You don't know if you didn't find anything. Giles: I'm having a problem. Buffy: What is it? Giles: I-I can't read! Buffy: What do you mean? You can read, like, three languages. Giles: Five, actually, on a normal day. Th-the words here don't make any s-sense. I-it's gibberish! (steps away in frustration) Buffy: (looks at the paper) That's him. Giles: Who? Buffy: The kid I've been seeing around school. (reads) 'Twelve-year-old Billy Palmer was found beaten and unconscious after his kiddie league game Saturday. Doctors describe his condition as critical.' When was this published? (looks at the date) Last week. It says he's in a coma in intensive care. This is the boy from the hospital! Giles: The first victim? Uh... You, you've seen him around the school? Buffy: Yeah, first when the spiders got Wendell, and, and then when I didn't know a thing on the history test. I thought it was weird seeing this kid around, but I forgot about it. Giles: Uh, the boy's been in a coma for a week. How can this be possible? Buffy: What, am I knowledge girl now? Explanations are your terrain. Giles: Uh, well, um, there's astral projection, uh, the theory that while one sleeps one has another body, a-an astral body, which can travel through time and space. Buffy: Billy's in a coma. That's like sleep, right? Giles: In a manner of speaking, a-a-although one doesn't always awake from a coma. Buffy: Could I be seeing Billy's asteroid body? Giles: Astral body, and I-I don't know. As usual, one doesn't have an inordinate amount of information to work with. Buffy: Lucky nineteen. Her father, Hank Summers, enters the library. Hank: There you are! I've been looking everywhere. Why aren't you in class? Buffy: Dad, what are you doing here? Y-you're not supposed to pick me up till after school. Is something wrong? Hank: Well, I, I need to talk to you. Buffy: Something *is* wrong. Is it mom? Hank: No, no, it's not your mother, she's fine. (quieter) Could I speak with you for a moment? Privately? Buffy: Um, sure! Yeah. (looks at Giles) Uh, oh! I'm sorry. Dad, this is Mr. Giles, the librarian. Uh, this is my dad, Hank Summers. Giles: My pleasure. (shakes his hand) Hank: Likewise. Buffy: I'll be back. She and her father leave the library. Giles tries reading the papers again. Cut outside. Buffy and her dad walk as they talk. Hank: I came early because there's something I've needed to tell you. About your mother and me. Why we split up. Buffy: Well, you always told me it was because... Hank: Uh, I know we always said it was because we'd just grown too far apart. Buffy: Yeah, isn't that true? Hank: Well, c'mon, honey, let's, let's sit down. (they sit) (exhales) You're old enough now to know the truth. Buffy: Is there someone else? Hank: No. No, it was nothing like that. Buffy: Then what was it? Hank: It was you. Buffy: Me? Hank: Having you. Raising you. Seeing you everyday. I mean, do you have any idea what that's like? Buffy: What? Hank: Gosh, you don't even see what's right in front of your face, do you? Well, big surprise there, all you ever think about is yourself. You get in trouble. You embarrass us with all the crazy stunts you pull, and do I have to go on? Buffy: No. Please don't. Hank: You're sullen and... rude and... you're not nearly as bright as I thought you were going to be... Hey, Buffy, let's be honest. Could you stand to live in the same house with a daughter like that? Buffy: Why are you saying all these things? (a tear rolls down her cheek) Hank: Because they're true. I think that's the least we owe one another. She begins to sniff and cry. Hank: You know, I don't think it's very mature, getting blubbery when I'm just trying to be honest. Speaking of which, I don't really get anything out of these weekends with you. So, what do you say we just don't do them anymore? She stares at him in shock. He pats her on the leg. Hank: I sure thought you'd turn out differently. He gets up and leaves. Buffy can't do anything but watch him go for a moment, and then look down. He walks past the building, and Billy is there looking at Buffy. She looks up again and sees him. Billy turns and leaves. Buffy fights back the tears. Cut to the library. Willow and Xander come in. Xander is pulling on his gym shirt. Xander: Red alert! Where's Buffy? Giles: Uh, she, she just stepped out. Her, her father came by early. He, he needed to talk to her. W... where are your other clothes? Xander: Oh, don't I wish I had the answer to *that* question. Willow: Xander kinda found himself in front of our class not wearing much of anything. Xander: Except my underwear. Willow: (laughs) Yeah! It was really... (looks at Xander) ...bad. It was a bad thing. Xander: 'Bad thing'? I was naked. 'Bad thing' doesn't cover it. Willow: Everyone staring? I would hate to have everyone paying attention to me like that. Xander: With nudity! It's a total nightmare. Willow: (realizes) Well, yeah Xander! I-it's your nightmare! Xander: Except the part with me waking up goin' 'it's all a dream'. It happened. Willow: Like it happened to Wendell. That thing with the spiders? Wendell had a recurring dream about that. Giles: I-I dreamt that I got lost in the stacks and I... I couldn't read... Of course! Xander: Uh, our dreams are coming true? Giles: Dreams? That would be a musical comedy version of this. Nightmares, our, our nightmares are coming true. Willow: So, why is this happening? Giles: Billy. Xander: Well, that explanation was shorter than usual. (to Willow) It's Billy! (to Giles) Who's Billy? Giles: He's a boy in the local hospital. He was beaten. He's in a coma. Somehow I think he's crossed over from the nightmare world he's trapped in. Xander: And he brought the nightmare world with him. Thanks a bunch, Billy. Willow: How could he do that? Giles: Things like that are easy when you live on a Hellmouth. Xander: Well, um, we have to stop it. Giles: And soon. Or else everyone in Sunnydale is gonna be facing their own worst nightmares. Cut to the halls. Cordelia opens her locker and looks at her mirror. Her hair has become totally frizzy, and she freaks out. She tries to force a comb through it to no avail. Cordelia: I don't understand! This can't be happening! I was just at the salon! She puts her hands on her head in terror. Cordelia: Oh, my God! She tries the hair on the other side of her head, but it's just as bad. Cut outside. Buffy is walking along sadly with her arms crossed. She notices Billy going down some stairs to the gym entrance. When the students have all come out he goes in. Buffy follows him in and finds him sitting on the stands. Buffy: Billy? He looks at her a moment. She comes closer. Buffy: Are you Billy Palmer? Billy: I'm Billy. Buffy: Why are you here? (sits down next to him) Did something bad happen to you after your game? Billy: Something bad? (pulls his hands through his hair) I, I don't remember. Buffy: Do you remember playing baseball? Billy: Uh huh. Yeah. I play second base. Buffy: Are you 'lucky nineteen'? Billy: (looks at her) That's what he calls me. Buffy: Who? Billy: The Ugly Man. He wants to kill me. A-and he hurt that girl. Buffy: Why does he want to kill you, Billy? Billy: He's... Buffy: Billy, it's okay! What? Just tell me. Billy: He's here! The Ugly Man clubs Buffy with his deformed arm and knocks her down. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ The gym. The Ugly Man hits Buffy in the face, knocking her off of the stands and onto the floor. She quickly gets up as he tries another swing and misses. She ducks a third swing, kicks him in the jaw with a high side kick and follows up with a spinning out-to-in crescent kick to his face. He isn't fazed. He swings again with his club arm and hits her squarely in the back, knocking her into the stands. He swings again as she gets up and knocks her legs out from under her, making her fall backward and onto the floor again. She rolls out of the way as he swings again, gets up and quickly follows Billy, who's already gone out the door. She's limping. Cut to the library. Giles, Willow and Xander walk out to find Buffy. Giles: Buffy doesn't know this is happening. And given the sort of thing that she tends to dream about, it's imperative that we find her. They come through the doors into the hall. Xander: Probably faster if we split up to look for her. Giles: Good idea. He and Xander go off in opposite directions. Willow: Oh, uh, faster, but... not really safer. Cut to outside the gym doors. Buffy slides a hockey stick through the door handles to slow the Ugly Man down. He pounds on the door as she leans against it. She looks around, sees Billy and goes over to him. Buffy: Billy! Billy: I'm sorry, I can't help it. Buffy: Who is he? Billy: He's the Ugly Man. Buffy: He's too strong! I can't fight him! We have to find my friends. They can help us. Billy: We have to hide. Buffy: No! He'll find us! Billy: Yes, but we have to hide. That's how it happens. We hide, and then he comes. They go to find the others. Cut to the hall. Willow comes down the stairs and sees a commotion down the hall. Cordelia is being dragged by some nerds into the chess club. Cordelia: No! What are you doing! Hey, no! You don't understand! I don't wanna go! I'm not even on the chess team! I swear, I'm not! They drag her into the room. Willow smiles at the sight. She hears her name being called from the door to the basement. Voice: Willow! Cordelia: Nohoho! Willow turns toward the voice, goes to the basement door, opens it and looks inside. Voice: Willow! Cut into the basement looking up the stairs at Willow. Willow: Buffy? She starts down the stairs, leaving the door open. Willow: Hello? Buffy? She reaches the bottom of the steps and looks around. Willow: I'm not afraid. You'd think I'd be afraid, but I'm not. She continues into the room and looks around. A hand grabs her on the shoulder and pulls her away as she screams. Cut to the hall. Xander comes through a door and finds the hall has been vandalized, with swastikas spray-painted everywhere. A light hanging from the ceiling is flickering. He spies a chocolate bar on the floor. Xander: Alright! (picks up the bar and tears it open) Someone else's loss is my chocolatey goodness. He takes a huge bite. He looks around some more and sees a Hershey bar. He walks over to it, picks it up and tears it open. Xander: This is my lucky day! He takes a huge bite out of the Hershey bar and looks around again. Cut outside. Buffy and Billy come out of a door. Buffy: (confused) Wha... I was sure this led to the library. Billy looks at a couple students playing on the other side of the fence. Buffy goes over to him. Buffy: They're just playing. What is it? What's bothering you? Billy: Baseball. When you lose, it's bad. Buffy: Did you lose your game last week? Billy: (nods) It was my fault. Buffy: Why was it your fault? Billy: I missed a ball and I should have caught it. Buffy: You missed one ball and the whole game was your fault? What, you were the only one playing? There wasn't eight other people on your team? Billy: He said it was my fault. Buffy: Who said? Billy, did he hurt you after the game? Billy: Can we go another way to find your friends? Buffy: Sure. Okay. We can go around the cafeteria. The Ugly Man comes in their direction and punches a student out. Buffy: Bad idea! (looks around) Uh, this way! C'mon! She pushes Billy ahead of her through some bushes. When they get through to the other side they are in the cemetery, and it's night. Buffy: What just happened? Billy: Is this where your friends are? Buffy: No, it's not. Cut to the basement. The show director is pulling Willow through a door to a dressing room. She is dressed in a green kimono for the part of Cio-Cio-San, the title character of Puccini's opera Madame Butterfly. Director: Man, I thought you weren't gonna show! Aldo is beside himself. He makes some adjustments to her kimono. Willow can hear the Emcee make his announcement on the stage. Emcee: Ladies and Gentlemen, we are proud to present two of the world's greatest singers! The audience begins to applaud. The director guides Willow onto the auditorium stage behind the curtain. Director: I hope you're warmed up. It's an ugly crowd out there tonight. All the reviewers showed up. Emcee: All the way from Firenze, Italy, the one and only Aldo Gianfranco! And all the way from Sunnydale, California, the world's finest soprano, Willow Rosenberg! Willow sees Aldo on stage through the curtain, dressed in a tuxedo and holding out his hand to greet her. She backs away into the director. Willow: But I... I didn't learn the words! The director gives her a shove onto the stage, and she stumbles through the curtains and bumps into Aldo. He shoots her a look. She's terrified. The applause dies down. The spotlight is on Aldo, and he begins to sing the famous love duet from Act I. Aldo: Bimba dagli occhi pieni di malia, ora sei tutta mia. Translation: Child, from whose eyes the witchery is shining, now you are all my own. The spotlight moves to Willow when it's her turn. She is stiff with fear and remains silent as she looks between Aldo and the crowd. Realizing she's not going to sing, Aldo begins again, and the spotlight shifts back to him. Aldo: Sei tutta vestita di giglio. Mi piace la treccia tua bruna fra i candidi veli. Translation: You're dressed all in white like a lily. Your ebony tresses are shining on ivory shoulders. When he finishes his bar he gives her an annoyed look and stomps his foot. She's still frightened. Willow: (meekly) My turn? Aldo: (annoyed) Mm-hmm! She turns to the crowd and lets out a high-pitched squeak. Numerous murmurs come from the audience. Aldo is disgusted and turns away. Cut to the halls. There are sheets of plastic hanging from the ceiling. Xander pushes though a pair and stops. His hands are full of various chocolate bars. Xander: I love these bars! He spots another one on the floor. Xander: A Chocolate Hurricane! These are the best! I haven't had one of these since my... He hears incessant giggling coming toward him. Xander: ...sixth... (looks around) ...birthday. He sees a shadow come up behind another sheet of plastic, and a clown suddenly bursts through. Xander screams in terror as the clown holds up a knife. Xander falls as he tries to get away and somersaults backward into the next hall. He starts to crawl away fast. Cut to the cemetery. Buffy walks and looks around. Buffy: I don't see the Ugly Man. I also don't know where the sun and the rest of the world went. Billy: Look at this. She looks down where Billy is looking and sees a freshly dug grave with an open pine coffin inside. Billy: I guess we're gonna bury someone. I wonder who died. Master: Nobody died. Buffy and Billy look up at him in surprise. Master: What's the fun of burying someone if they're already dead? She stares at him in disbelief. Buffy: You! Master: So! This is the Slayer! You're prettier than the last one. Buffy: This isn't real. Y-you can't be free! Master: You still don't understand, do you? I am free because you fear it. Because you fear it, the world is crumbling. Your nightmares are made flesh. You have little Billy to thank for that. She looks behind her, but Billy is gone. She turns back to the Master. Buffy: This is a dream. Master: A dream is a wish your heart makes. (grabs Buffy by the neck.) This is real life. (pulls her around so her back is to the open grave) Come on, Slayer! What are you afraid of? He growls and bares his teeth, but doesn't bite. He throws her into the coffin at the bottom of the grave, and the lid slams shut. Buffy: No! Help me! Master: How 'bout being buried alive? The Master laughs maniacally as he starts to shovel dirt into the grave. Buffy: Somebody help me! Please! No! No! Please! No! No! No! Somebody help me! Please! No! The first shovelful of dirt hits the coffin, and some falls in through the cracks of the poorly constructed coffin. Buffy: Please! No! Help me! No! The next shovelful of dirt covers the crack between the boards. Buffy: Help! ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ The halls. Willow comes through a door while being pelted with tomatoes. Xander runs up to her. Xander: Did you find Buffy? Willow: I had to sing! Very bad to sing! Xander: Willow, c'mon. Let's find the others. Willow: What happened to you? Xander: Remember my sixth birthday party? Willow: (laughs) Oh, yeah! When the clown chased you and you got so scared that you had... (stops smiling) Oh! The clown slices through a sheet of plastic. Willow screams and they start to run, right into Giles. Giles: No sign of Buffy? They grab hold of him and pull him with them. He sees the clown and starts to run, too. When they reach the end of the hall Xander stops, tired of the whole thing. He goes up to the clown, and as the clown raises his knife to attack, Xander punches him dead in the face and knocks him out. Xander: You are a lousy clown! Your balloon animals are pathetic! Everyone can make a giraffe! They leave the clown lying there. Cut outside. They come running out of the building and stop. Xander: I feel good! I feel liberated! People are running past them. Giles: You seem to be the only one. Things are getting worse. In a few hours reality will fold completely into the realm of nightmares. Willow: Well, what do we do? Giles: The only thing I can think is to try and wake Billy. Xander: Uh, no, we can't leave without Buffy. Giles: Agreed, but who knows where she might have gone? Willow sees a dimensional rift to the graveyard across the street. Willow: Excuse me, when did they put a cemetery in across the street? Xander: And when did they make it night over there? They walk through the rift into the cemetery. Xander: Whose nightmare is this? Giles looks at a gravestone that reads: Buffy Summers 1981 - 1997. Giles: It's mine. They all gather around the grave. Giles kneels next to it. Giles: I've failed... in my duty to protect you. I should have been more c... cautious. Taken more time to train you. But you were so gifted. And the evil was so great. I'm sorry... He lays his hand on the fresh soil. As he starts to get up a hand reaches up through the dirt and grabs his. Willow screams. Giles tears himself away as Buffy comes up through the dirt out of the grave. She brushes herself off. Giles: Buffy? She looks up. She has turned into a vampire. Buffy: I thought I was dead! Willow: Buffy, your face! Buffy feels her face and realizes what's happened. Buffy: Oh, God! She keeps her hands up to hide her face. Xander takes a couple of steps toward her. Xander: Buffy... Buffy: (turns away) Don't look at me! Giles: You never told me you dreamt of becoming a vampire. Buffy: This isn't a dream. Giles: No. No, it's not. But there's a chance that we can make it go away. This all comes from Billy. Now, if, if we can only wake him up, I believe that the nightmares will stop and reality will shift back into place, but we must do it now! I need you to hold together long enough to help us. Can you do that? She looks up at Giles. Buffy: (nods) Yeah. I think I can. Giles: Thank you. They face the others. Buffy: Well, we better hurry... 'cause I'm getting hungry. (starts away) Xander: (following) That is a... joke, right? Willow: Are you sure everything will go back once he's awake? Giles: Oh, uh, positive. Willow: Well, how do we wake Billy up? What if we can't? Giles: Willow, do shut up. Cut to the hospital. Pandemonium reigns. They come running down the hall to Billy's room. The doctor is there looking into Billy's room. Giles: Doctor! Is the boy Billy still here? Doctor: My hands! The doctor's hands are severely crippled. He goes away. They run into Billy's room. Xander: What now? Giles: Um... (bends down to Billy) Billy! Billy? Billy: That won't work. His astral body is standing by the curtains. Giles looks up at him. Giles: Billy! Uh, Billy, you have to wake up. Billy: No. I told her. I have to hide. Giles: Why? From what? Buffy: From him! She's still in the hall and sees the Ugly Man coming toward her. Giles goes over to the window to look. Xander: Aw, man, what do we do? Buffy: I think I know. She takes off her jacket. Willow hears buzzing outside and peeks through the blinds to see giant black wasps flying over the town. Willow: Whatever it is, it better be soon! Cut to the hall. The Ugly Man is making his way toward Buffy. Buffy: Glad you showed up! You see, I'm having a really bad day. Ugly Man: Lucky nineteen! Buffy: Scary! I'll tell you something, though. There are a lot scarier things than you. (takes two steps forward) And I'm one of them. The Ugly Man stops in his tracks and looks at her. She roars and runs to attack. She jumps on him, knocks him down and punches him twice in the face. She tries for a third punch, but he blocks her and gets his foot under her stomach. He pushes hard, and Buffy falls backwards. She gets up quickly and roundhouse kicks him in the gut, making him double over, but he pushes her into the window of Billy's room and then throws her into the opposite wall. He tries to punch her with his club arm, but she ducks, and his arm slams into a wall. She comes up behind him and side kicks him in the back. He slams into her, knocking her through the door into Billy's room and against his bed. She gets up to face him as he comes in after her. He swings again with his club arm, but she grabs it and roughly brings it down, breaking it over her knee. He wails in pain, and she body checks him into the wall, where he hits his head and slumps to the floor unconscious. Everyone just stares at him. Billy: I-is he dead? Buffy: Come here, Billy. Billy: I, I don't... Buffy: You have to do the rest. Billy slowly comes around the bed and over to the Ugly Man. Willow: What are they doing? Giles gestures for her to be quiet. Xander: I get it. Buffy takes Billy's hand. He looks up at her. Buffy: No more hiding. Billy looks down at the Ugly Man. Buffy lets go of his hand, and he reaches for the Ugly Man's neck. He peels back his face and a bright light streams out. In the next instant everything is back to normal. The Ugly Man is gone, Buffy is herself again, Xander and Willow are in their regular clothes and the hospital is functioning. Buffy smiles and feels her face. Willow breathes a sigh of relief. Billy wakes up. Xander: Hey, he's waking up! They all gather around. Billy: I had the strangest dream. And you were in it, and you... Who are you people? They all smile. Giles: Let's get a doctor. Billy's coach comes in as Giles and Xander are about to go get a doctor. Coach: Oh! Huh. Billy's got company. (takes off his cap) I-I-I'm his kiddie league coach. I come by here every day, just hoping against hope that he's gonna wake up soon. He's, uh, my lucky nineteen. Giles and Buffy exchange a look. Coach: So, um, how is he? Buffy steps aside to show him that Billy's awake. Buffy: He's awake. Coach: What? Buffy: You blamed him for losing the game. So you caught up with him afterwards, didn't you? Coach: (acting innocent) What are you talking about? Billy: (sits up) You said that it was my fault that we lost. The coach realizes he's been found out and tries to get away. Xander grabs him by the jacket and stops him. Billy: It wasn't my fault. There's eight other players on the team. You know that. (lies down) Buffy: (to Billy) Nice going! (smiles) Billy smiles back. Cut to the school. Willow, Buffy and Xander are walking. Buffy: I just can't believe a kiddie league coach would do something like that. Xander: Well, you obviously haven't played kiddie league. I'm surprised it wasn't one of the parents. Willow: I'm just glad he's behind bars where he belongs. Buffy: But that was kinda heroic, Xander, grabbing him and all. Xander: Well, I just did what anyone else would've. I mean, if you wanna label it heroic... Hank drives up, honks and gets out of the car and waves. Hank: Hi! Buffy: Have a killer weekend, guys! Xander bows his head to her. Buffy goes to her dad. Hank comes up the steps and hugs his daughter. Hank: Hi, sweetheart! Oh, it's so good to see you! (releases the hug) How was your day? Buffy: Fine. You know, usual. Willow: (to Xander) Personal question? Xander: Yeah, shoot! Willow: When Buffy was a vampire, you weren't still, like, attracted to her, were you? Xander: Willow, how can you... I mean, that's really bent! She was... grotesque! Willow: Still dug her, huh? Xander: I'm sick, I need help. Willow: Don't I know it.

[an error occurred while processing this directive] Out of Mind, Out of Sight Story by: Joss Whedon Teleplay by: Ashley Gable & Thomas A. Swyden Directed by: Reza Badiyi Transcribed by: AleXander Thompson Copyright © 1997 Alexander Thompson ~~~~~~~~~~ Prologue ~~~~~~~~~~ In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. Sunnydale High School. Cordelia: I just love springtime. Cut to the halls. Cordelia has her arms around her current boyfriend Mitch, and they and Harmony are walking down the hall. Cordelia: Me and bright spring fashions! Mitch: Spring training. Cordelia: Me at the end of school dance. Harmony: The end of school. Cordelia: Definitely. My favorite time of year. (giggles) I am, of course, having my dress specially made. Off the rack gives me hives. Mitch: Lemme guess: blue, like your eyes! (laughs) Cordelia: (laughs) My eyes are hazel, Helen Keller. Harmony: You two will look so fine together in the May Queen photo. Cordelia: Well, I haven't been elected May Queen yet. They've reached the library doors, and Buffy comes barging out. She bumps into Mitch and drops her bag, spilling out its contents: a couple of stakes, a couple of crosses, a mace and other stuff. Cordelia: Uhhh! Behold, the weirdness! Buffy: (looks up) You're probably wondering what I'm doing with this stuff, huh? Cordelia: Wow, I'm not! Buffy: Uh, for history class. Mr. Giles has this, like, hobby of collecting stuff... which he lent me... for show and tell. D-did I mention it's for history class? Harmony: She is always hanging with that creepy librarian in that creepy library. Cordelia and company continue down the hall. Cordelia: (to Mitch) Hey, did I ever tell you about the time that she attacked me? At the Bronze? I don't know why this school admits mentals like her. They laugh. Buffy watches them go with a depressed look on her face. Cut to English class. They are discussing 'The Merchant of Venice'. Ms. Miller: 'If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?' (looks at the class) Okay. So talk to me, people. How does what Shylock says here about being a Jew relate to our discussion about the anger of the outcast in society? Cordelia: Well, how about color me totally self-involved? Ms. Miller: Care to elaborate? Cordelia: Yeah. With Shylock it's whine, whine, whine, like the whole world is about him. He acts like it's justice, him getting a pound of Antonio's flesh. It's not justice, it's yicky. Ms. Miller: But has Shylock suffered? What's his place in Venice society? Willow: Well, everyone looked down on him. Cordelia: That is such a twinkie defense. Shylock should get over himself. People who think their problems are so huge craze me. Like this time I sort of ran over this girl on her bike. It was the most traumatizing event of *my* life, and she's trying to make it about *her* leg! Like *my* pain meant nothing. Ms. Miller: Well, Cordelia's raised an interesting point here. (the bell rings) Which we'll pursue at a later time. The students get up to leave. Cordelia comes up to Ms. Miller's desk. Cordelia: Ms. Miller? Ms. Miller: Good observations today, Cordelia. It's always exciting to know someone's actually done the reading. Willow rolls her eyes behind Cordelia and leaves. Cordelia: Thanks. Um, I wanna talk to you about my final paper. I'm real unfocused. I have all these thoughts, and I'm pretty sure they all contradict each other. Ms. Miller: Well, I have your outline here, but why don't you stop by tomorrow after school? We'll go over it then. Cordelia: That'd be great! Thanks a lot. (starts to leave) Ms. Miller: You're welcome. I'll see you then. Cordelia: Okay! Bye! (goes into the hall) Harmony! Harmony: Hi! Cordelia: They called and said the dress is ready. It's so great! Mitch is gonna die! Cut to the boys' locker room. Mitch comes out of the showers, drying himself off. He wraps his towel around his waist and goes over to his locker. He dries his hair a bit with another towel, and then reaches into his locker for his clothes. Another boy closes his locker and comes over to him as he pulls on his pants. Bud: Hey, Mitch! You goin' to the Bronze? Mitch: Later. I'm pickin' up my tux first. Bud: Uh huh. Mitch: Gotta look sharp for the big dig. Another boy comes over and joins them. Bud: Oh, that's right! You gotta look good to be on Cordelia's arm! Mitch: Oh, it's not her arm I'm lookin' to be on. (laughs) The boys laugh and then go. Cut to a shot of Mitch approaching from the other side. Footsteps can be heard, and then a girl's giggling. Mitch hears it and looks around. Mitch: Who's there? He doesn't see anyone, so he continues getting dressed. He hears the giggling again, and looks behind him where he thinks it's coming from. Mitch: Okay, fun time's over, come out. He reaches for a bat on top of the lockers, but it floats up by itself. The bat swings and hits him, and he falls down. The bat swings again but misses and hits the locker doors. It hits him on his upper left arm twice. Another swing of the bat hits him in the face, and he's knocked unconscious. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ In the halls at school. Cordelia hands out chocolates while campaigning for May Queen. Cordelia: Now, remember who to vote for for May Queen! As in me! Boy: Thanks. She sees Harmony and walks over to her. Cordelia: Hi! Isn't this the bomb? I'm such the campaign strategist. Harmony takes one and sees the 'C' on the wrapper. Harmony: 'C'. For Cordelia? Cordelia: No, 'C' for Wilma, little brain! Of course, 'C' for Cordelia! This way people will associate me with something sweet! She absently continues to the next student. Cordelia: Here's a chocolate... (sees it's Buffy and pulls her hand back) Oh. I don't think I need the loony-fringe vote. (leaves) Buffy: Well, I-I don't even *like* chocolates. (to herself) Okay, that was the lamest comeback of our times. Xander and Willow arrive. Xander: So, what's Cordelia up to? Buffy: Bribery. She's desperate to be May Queen. Xander: Cordelia, man, she does love titles! Willow: (reminded by that, laughing hysterically) Oh, God! Remember in sixth grade with the field trip? Xander: Right! Right! The guy with the antlers on his belt! Willow: Be my Deputy! Xander: And remember the, the hat? Willow: Oh God! The hat! Buffy: Gee, it's fun that we're speaking in tongues. Willow: I'm sorry. (calms down) Xander: It's just that we had this, uh... You had to be there. Willow: It's not even funny. Xander: Really. Willow: Uh, Cordelia just has a history of trying too hard. Xander: Yeah, what kind of moron would wanna be May Queen anyway? Buffy: (turns to her locker) I was. Xander: You what? Buffy: At my old school. Xander: Oh! So the, uh, *good* kind of moron would do that. The, uh, non-moron, I mean. Buffy: (closes her locker and turns back) Well, we didn't call it 'May Queen', but we had the coronation, and the dance, and all that stuff. It was nice. Xander: Well, you know, you don't need that anymore. You got us! Willow: (cracks up again) Be my Deputy! Oh, God... Buffy feels very left out. Suddenly Bud comes running down the hall with news about Mitch. Bud: Guys! C'mon! (Buffy looks up) Mitch got whaled on! I think he's... Cut to the door to the gym. Principal Snyder is talking to the students. Snyder: Dead? Of course not. What are you, ghouls? They all turn to look when the paramedics open the doors to the gym and wheel Mitch out. Snyder: There are no dead students here. This week. Clear back, make room, all of you. Buffy grabs the gurney and stops it. Buffy: Mitch, what happened? Mitch: I don't know. I, I heard something. I tried to grab a, a bat... (guffaws, unable to believe what he's saying) that hit me. Buffy: What hit you? Mitch: The bat! By itself, the thing was floating, it knocked me out. The paramedics wheel him away. Buffy: (to Xander) I'd better check out the scene. (starts toward the locker room) Snyder: Where do you think you're going? Buffy: (stops and faces him) Um, Mitch wanted me to get his comb. He, he likes his comb. Snyder: I don't think Mitch needs his comb right now. I think Mitch needs medical attention. Willow and Xander exchange a look. Snyder: And you need to stay away from the crime scene. Always sticking your nose in. Willow: (loudly) Sue? What did you say? Mitch was gonna sue the school? Snyder: (diverted by Willow) Sue? Who? Buffy mouths a 'thank you' to Willow and Xander and quickly goes onto the locker room. Xander: Well, his dad is the most powerful lawyer in Sunnydale. Snyder: Hold on. What have you two heard? Xander: His dad, the lawyer. You haven't heard of him? Willow: Other lawyers call him 'The Beast'. Cut to the locker room. It's deserted. Buffy walks quietly and looks around. She sees the bat on the floor and goes over to it. She nudges it with her foot and it just rolls away. She goes into the nearest row of lockers where four of the locker doors are damaged and wide open. She looks into one of the lockers and notices a large letter on the door next to it. She closes all the lockers and sees the word 'look' painted in red. Cut to later in the cafeteria during lunch. Willow: 'Look'? That's all it said? Xander: Look at what? Look at Mitch? Buffy: Maybe. All I know is it's a message. Xander: And... Giles: (finds them) Ah, here you are. Buffy: And monsters don't usually send messages. It's pretty much crush, kill, destroy. This was different. Giles: I'd have to say you're right. Buffy: I love it when he says that! Any theories? Giles: (takes a seat) Uh, I'm, uh, it's a bit of a puzzle, really. Um, I've never actually heard of anyone attacked by a lone baseball bat before. Xander: Maybe it's a vampire bat. (no response from the others) I'm alone with that one, huh? Giles: Well, assuming the bat itself is not possessed, uh, there are a few possibilities that bear investigating. Uh, someone with telekinesis, uh, the power to move objects at will, uh, uh, an invisible creature, um, or possibly a poltergeist. Willow: A ghost? Giles: Yes, and a very angry one. Buffy: Yeah, I'd say. The locker room was a real scene. Willow: If it's a ghost, then we're talking about a dead kid. Buffy: I guess so. You know, why don't you compile a list of dead or missing kids? It's probably a good place to start. Giles: And, uh, I'll research all the possibilities, ghosts included. But, uh, Xander, if you're not doing anything, would you like to help me? Xander: What, so there's homework now? When did that happen? Buffy: It's all part of the glamorous world of vampire slayage. Xander: Well, what part do you have? Buffy: Gonna find out what I can about Mitch. This attack wasn't random. Xander: Well, I want that part. Buffy: Fine. You can do it. Ask around, talk to his friends. Talk to Cordelia! Xander: Talk to Cordelia? (to Giles) So, research, huh? Cut to the balcony. Harmony finds Cordelia at the drinking fountain. Harmony: Hi! Cordelia: Oh, hi. Harmony: Cordelia, you weren't in fifth period. Cordelia: I went to the hospital. Harmony: Oh, Mitch. How is he? Will he be okay? Cordelia: Well, the doctor says he'll be fine. They're gonna send him home tomorrow. But... you should've seen him lying there. All black and blue? How's he gonna look in our Prom pictures? How am I ever gonna be able to show them to anyone? Harmony: Well, they can do wonderful things with airbrushes these days. Cordelia: You think? Marcie has a flashback. Harmony finds Cordelia at the drinking fountain. Harmony: Hi! Cordelia: Hi! Did you see Mitch? He just broke up with Wendy eight seconds ago, and he's already nosing around. Harmony: It's shameless! Cordelia: In the spring, if he makes varsity baseball, maybe I'll take him on a test drive. Marcie: Hi, guys! Cordelia: What do *you* want? The flashback is over. Cordelia and Harmony walk along the balcony toward the stairs. Cordelia: I just hope they can prop him up long enough to take the picture. Buffy: (from the door) Cordelia, can I talk to you? Cordelia: Oh, great. Harmony: Why is she always try... Uff! She jerks backward and tumbles down the stairs. Buffy, Cordelia and others come running down after her. Principal Snyder saw it happen, too. Cordelia: Harmony! Snyder: Oh, for heaven sakes! Clear back, everyone! Give her some air! (to a student) You! School nurse, now! The student nods and scrambles to get the nurse. Harmony: Ow! Oh, my ankle! I think it's broken. Buffy: What happened? Snyder: (to Buffy) Hey! Who's the principal here? (to Harmony) What happened? Cordelia: She fell! She, she, we were standing at the top of the stairs and she just fell! All by herself! Harmony: No! I was pushed! Buffy gets up when she hears laughter and footsteps going up the stairs. She follows the sounds up the stairs. Snyder bends down and touches Harmony's ankle. Harmony: Ow! Snyder: Don't sue. Buffy reaches the top of the stairs and still hears the laughter. She sees a door close and follows whoever it was in. Cut inside. Buffy: Is anybody here? She feels something bump her and hears footsteps going into the band room. She looks around, confused. Buffy: Hey! Who's here? She goes into the band room and hears activity somewhere. The ceiling access hatch in the corner rises up, but Buffy doesn't notice it. Buffy: Okay, I know someone's here. Look, I'm not gonna hurt you. I just wanna talk to you. The ceiling hatch lowers back into place. Buffy looks around and finally leaves. The camera pans from Buffy up to the ceiling hatch in a corner above a cabinet. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ The main entrance to Sunnydale High after school. Students are leaving for the day. The camera pans over to two men dressed in black suits watching the student's activity. Buffy: Giles, have you ever touched a ghost? Giles: Uh, no. From what I've heard, uh, having a, a ghost pass through you is a singular experience. It's a, it's a rather, uh, cold amorphous feeling. It makes your hair stand on end. Buffy: You see, that's my problem. I touched the thing, but it didn't go through me. It bumped into me. And it wasn't cold. Xander: So, we're talking about what, an invisible person? Buffy: A girl. She laughed. Giles: A girl on campus with the ability to become invisible. Xander: That is so cool! Willow: Cool? Xander: Well, yeah, I would give anything to be able to turn invisible. Well, I wouldn't use my powers to beat people up, but I'd use my powers to protect the girls' locker room. Giles: It must be a fairly heady experience... having that ability. Willow: How'd she get it? Is she a witch? 'Cause we can fight a witch. Xander: Hmm. Greek myths speak of cloaks of invisibility, but they're usually for the gods. (gets looks from everyone) Research Boy comes through with the knowledge! Buffy: This girl's sorta petty for a god. Willow: She's got a grudge. But why Harmony? Xander: Harmony and Mitch. The common denominator is... Buffy: Cordelia! Willow: So what now? Buffy: First thing tomorrow, why don't you pull up that missing kids list? Willow: Got it. I'll see ya then. Buffy: Bye. Xander: See ya. (leaves with Willow) Oh, hey, do you wanna come to our place tonight for dinner? Mom's making her famous phone call to the Chinese place. Willow: Xander, do you guys even have a stove? Giles: (to Buffy) So, I'll look into ways that you can de-cloak an invisible someone. What about you? Buffy: I think Cordelia's gonna be workin' on her May Queen dress tonight. Maybe there'll be some action. Guess I'm gonna start the hunt. Giles: How exactly do you propose to hunt someone you can't see? Buffy gives Giles an inquisitive look. Cut to the halls that night. The shadow on the floor shows the doors opening. Giles: You may have to work on listening to people. Buffy: Very funny. Giles: I thought so. Buffy comes into the hall and hears activity to her left. She finds the room where Cordelia and her friends are getting her dress ready. They fuss over the dress. Buffy hears the conversation and laughter coming from the room. Cordelia: Should I wear my hair up? Do you think I should wear it up? Buffy peeks through the door to watch. Cordelia: How does the, um, hem go? Is it, is it long enough, or... Buffy smiles. Cordelia: Isn't it beautiful? Buffy looks down and remembers her own experience as Prom Queen. As she turns to go she hears a flute playing. She begins to follow the sound. Cut to the library. Giles comes up the stairs and stops when he hears the music, too. The music stops, and he continues into the stacks. He hears a squeaking and stops again. Giles: Who's there? After a moment he takes a few steps to a glass-enclosed bookcase and sees his reflection. He turns away and is startled by Angel standing there. He looks back at his reflection but doesn't see one for Angel. Giles: (exhales) A vampire casts no reflection. Angel: Don't worry. I'm not here to eat. Giles: Buffy told me you don't feed from humans anymore. Angel: Not for a long while. Giles: Is that why you're here? To see her? Angel: I can't. It's, uh... It's too hard for me to be around her. Giles: A vampire in love with a Slayer! It's rather poetic! In a maudlin sort of way. What can I, uh... What can I do for you? Angel: I know you've been researching the Master. Giles: Yes, the vampire king. I've tried to learn as much as I can about him for the day that Buffy must face him. Angel: Something's already in motion, something big, but I don't know what. You've read all the Slayer lore there is, right? Giles: I-I've studied all the extant volumes, of course. But the, uh, most salient books of Slayer prophecy have been lost. The Tiberius Manifesto, the Pergamum Codex... Angel: The Codex? Giles: It's reputed to have contained the most complete prophecies about the Slayer's role in the end years. Unfortunately, the book was lost in the 15th century. Angel: Not lost. Misplaced. I can get it. Giles: (exhales, astounded) That would be most helpful! Uh, m-my own volumes have... been rather useless of late. Angel: (looks at Giles' book) Legends of Vishnu? Giles: (a bit embarrassed) There's an... invisible girl terrorizing the school. Angel: That's not really my area of expertise. Giles: Nor mine, I'm afraid. Uh, it's fascinating, though. By all accounts it's a, a... a wonderful power to possess. Angel: Oh, I don't know. Looking in the mirror everyday and seeing nothing there. (cut to Giles' reflection) It's an overrated pleasure. Cut to a girls' restroom. Marcie is having another flashback. She looks at herself in the mirror. Cordelia and her friends come in. Cordelia: God! I am never sitting through another one of those alumni lectures again. Two hours of 'My Trek Through Nepal'. Hello! There is nobody caring. Marcie: And did you guys see his toupee? I mean, it looks like a cabbage. Cordelia: And those slides! 'That's a mountain. That's a mountain, too. Now look at some mountains.' Harmony: I swear, he had three slides and just used them over and over. Marcie: I know, but did you guys see his toupee? I mean, it was, like, the worst! Harmony: (to Marcie) We're talking, okay? Cordelia: Oh! And did you guys check out that extreme toupee? Yeah, that's realistic. It looked like a cabbage. They all laugh. Cordelia and her friends leave the restroom. Marcie stays behind and feels very left out. Snyder: The winner is Cordelia Chase! Cut to the quad where a stage has been set up. Snyder: Let's bring up our new May Queen. The students in the quad all applaud. Xander and Willow walk out of the crowd. Cordelia: Thank you for making the right choice, and for showing me how much you all love me. (applause) Being this popular is not just my right, but my responsibility, and I want you to know I take it very seriously. Cut to Buffy leaning on a nearby pillar. Willow and Xander come up to her. Cordelia: It all began when... Xander: So, Giles said you'd be here. Why are you being here? Buffy: Last night was a bust. But I still think Cordy's the key. Willow: This is the dead and missing list. I pulled up their classes, activities, medical records... Buffy: Good work. Willow notices the two men in black suits loitering by some stairs. Willow: Has Cordelia hired a bodyguard or something? Xander sees them too, and he and Willow exchange a look. Buffy: Hey, you guys, check out this one. It's the most recent one, Marcie Ross, disappeared, like, six months ago. Xander: I don't know her. Willow: Me neither. Buffy: Her only activity was band. She played the flute. Willow: So? Buffy: Well, last night when I was hunting, I heard this flute, but I couldn't figure out where it was coming from. And it was in the band room that I lost Miss Invisible yesterday. You know what, this all tracks. I'm gonna check it out. See you guys later? Xander: Okay, we'll see you after geometry. Cordelia: (still giving her acceptance speech) Ask not what your school can do for you, ask: Hey! What am I wearing to the Spring Fling? Cut to the band room. Buffy looks around and almost runs into a chair. She notices a boot print on it, guesses it was used as a step to climb and looks up. She notices in the corner of the ceiling that there's an access hatch. She climbs up onto the cabinet and crawls over to the hatch. She lifts it up and puts it aside as she pokes her head in and has a look around. She climbs up onto the ceiling and begins to crawl through the space. Near a skylight she finds Marcie's things. Her flute is there, and Buffy picks it up to look at it. The camera shows Marcie's view as she watches Buffy go through her stuff. Buffy picks up her teddy bear, looks at it and puts it back. She looks under some sheet music, finds Marcie's yearbook, pulls it out and opens it. Buffy: Marcie Ross. So it is you. As Buffy sits there and reflects, a knife floats in midair behind her left shoulder. Buffy closes the yearbook and takes it with her as she starts back to the hatch. In the band room she closes the hatch and climbs back down from the cabinet. Cut to Ms. Miller's classroom. She's waiting for Cordelia to show up. Marcie walks in and closes the door. Ms. Miller: Cordelia, could you possibly be on time? She looks up from her desk and sees no one's there. She goes back to her work as Marcie walks around behind her and giggles. Ms. Miller: Who's there? Marcie slips a plastic bag over Ms. Miller's head and ties it off. Cut to the hall. Cordelia arrives at the door and knocks. Cut inside. Ms. Miller is slumped over on her desk. Cordelia comes in. Cordelia: Ms. Miller? (sees her) Oh, my God! Ms. Miller! (lifts her up) Oh, my God! (pulls the bag off) Are you okay? Ms. Miller draws a sudden deep breath and begins coughing. Cordelia: Ms. Miller, what happened? Behind her at the chalkboard a piece of chalk floats up and begins to write. Ms. Miller: Attacked. Didn't see. The piece of chalk makes noise on the board, and Cordelia and Ms. Miller turn to see it finish writing the word 'listen'. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ The library. Giles is sitting at the table. Giles: A nest? Buffy: It looked like she'd been there for months. It's where I found this. She opens the yearbook and puts it on the table for Willow and Xander to see. Willow: Oh, my God! (reads) 'Have a nice summer. Have a nice summer.' This girl had no friends at all. Giles: Uh, once again I teeter at the precipice of the generation gap. Buffy: 'Have a nice summer' is what you write when you have nothing to say. Xander: It's the kiss of death. Buffy: You guys didn't know Marcie Ross? Xander: Never met her. Why? Buffy: 'Cause you both wrote it, too. (points to Xander's signature) Xander: 'Have a nice...' Yeesh! Willow: Where am I? (Buffy points) Oh. 'Have a *great* summer.' See, I cared! Buffy: You guys don't remember her? Xander: No, I probably didn't see her except to sign the book. I mean, this is a big school. Willow: (looks at her printouts) Xander, we each had four classes with her last year. Buffy: So, no one noticed her, and now she's invisible. Xander: What, she turned invisible because no one noticed her? Giles: (hits the table) Of course! (gets up) I've been investigating the mystical causes of invisibility when I, I should have looked at the quantum mechanical! (gets looks from them all) Physics. Buffy: I think I speak for everyone here when I say, huh? Giles: (gets a book) It's a rudimentary concept that, that reality is shaped, even, even... created by our perception. Buffy: And with the Hellmouth below us sending out mystical energy... Giles: People perceived Marcie as, as, as invisible, and, and, and, and she became so. Cut to Ms. Miller's class, where Marcie has another flashback. Ms. Miller: So, who knows the answer to this one? Think about it. Several students, including Marcie, raise their hands. Ms. Miller: Cordelia? Cordelia: Well, just because the story's about him, doesn't necessarily mean he's the hero, right? Ms. Miller: Exactly. So, what do we call him? Willow? Willow: Well, the protagonist. Ms. Miller: Xander? Xander: Why can't he be both? I mean, he did do some things that are pretty heroic. Ms. Miller: Absolutely. Who doesn't agree with that? Several students including Marcie raise their hands. Ms. Miller points to one. Ms. Miller: Okay. Marcie raises her hand again. Ms. Miller points to someone else. Ms. Miller: And how about you? Marcie becomes weary of constantly being passed over and sighs. She looks at her hand and watches as it becomes translucent and then transparent. Her flashback is over. Cut to the library. Buffy: This isn't this great power that she can control. It's something that was done to her. That *we* did to her. Willow: No wonder she's miffed. Xander: What does she want? Buffy: Just what we thought. Cordelia. She turns the yearbook to Willow and Xander to show them the marked up picture of Cordelia. Cordelia comes into the library and overhears her name. Cordelia: What? I knew you'd be here. Buffy, I, uh, I, I know we've had our differences, with you being so weird and all, and hanging out with these total losers... Willow and Xander can't believe that she just said that in front of them. Cordelia: Ooo! (exhales) Well, anyway, despite all of that, I know that you share this feeling that we have for each other, deep down... Willow: Nausea? Cordelia: Somebody is after me! They just tried to kill Ms. Miller? Uh, she was helping me with my homework. And Mitch! And Harmony?! This is all about me! Me, me, me! Xander: Wow! For once she's right! Buffy: So you've come to *me* for help. Cordelia: (nods) Because you're always around when all this weird stuff is happening. And I know you're very strong, and you've got all those weapons... I was kind of hoping you were in a gang. Buffy can't believe what she's hearing. Cordelia: Please! I don't have anyone else to turn to! Giles gets up and offers her a chair. Giles: Please. Sit down. Cordelia: Okay. Thanks. Giles: You know, I... I don't recall ever seeing you here before. Cordelia: Oh, no, I have a life. Buffy: Okay. (exhales) Cordelia, your attacker is an invisible girl. Xander: Who is really, really angry at you, which I... can't imagine personally, but it... takes all kinds, y'know? Cordelia: Well, I don't care what it is, just get rid of it! Buffy: Well, it's not that simple, it's a person, it's... (shows her the yearbook) It's this person. Now, do you have any idea why she'd be so... Cordelia: Oh, God! Is she really wearing Laura Ashley? Xander: So homicidal? Cordelia: (exhales) I have no idea! I've never seen this girl before in my life! Cut to the crawl space in the ceiling. Marcie: (maniacally) I won 'cause you didn't see me coming. Cordelia, you don't remember me. I remember you, all your idiot slut friends, I hate them. They take your life and they suck it out of you! But then they didn't see me coming. They gotta learn. They gotta learn. Cut to the library. Giles: According to what you told us about the attack on Ms. Miller, we now have two messages from Marcie: 'look' and 'listen'. Willow: Messages we don't understand. Buffy: I don't think we're supposed to... yet. Marcie's not quite ready. But from what she did to Cordelia's picture, I would say that she's wigged on the whole May Queen thing. Maybe she's gonna do something about it. Willow: Stop the coronation tonight, maybe. Keep you guys away from the Bronze? Cordelia: Nothing is keeping me from the Bronze tonight! Xander: Uh, can we just revel in your fabulous lack of priorities? Cordelia: If I'm not crowned tonight then, then Marcie's won! And that would be bad. She's evil, okay? Way eviler than me. Buffy: Cordelia has a point. Cordelia: Buffy's with me on this. Buffy: Anyway, continuing the normal May Queen activities may be the best way to draw Marcie out. We can use Cordelia as bait. Cordelia: Great! Bait? Giles: Willow, Xander, you'll help me begin our research anew. Unless we find a way to cure Marcie's invisibility, then Buffy will be... Marcie is there now looking down from the stacks. Buffy: A sitting duck. They all get up to do their tasks. Buffy: (to Cordelia) C'mon. Cordelia: Well, I have to try on my dress. And am I really bait? Cut to the halls. Buffy and Cordelia are walking. Cordelia: So, how much the creepy is it that this Marcie's been at this for months? Spying on us? Learning our most guarded secrets? So, are you saying she's invisible because she's so unpopular? Buffy: That about sums it up. Cordelia: (exhales) Bummer for her. It's awful to feel that lonely. Buffy: Hmm. So you've read something about the feeling? Cordelia: (stops Buffy) Hey! You think I'm never lonely because I'm so cute and popular? I can be surrounded by people and be completely alone. It's not like any of them really know me. I don't even know if they like me half the time. People just want to be in a popular zone. Sometimes when I talk, everyone's so busy agreeing with me, they don't hear a word I say. Buffy: Well, if you feel so alone, then why do you work so hard at being popular? Cordelia: Well, it beats being alone all by yourself. She continues down the hall. After considering that for a moment Buffy quickly follows. Cut to the library. Willow hears a flute play. Willow: Shhh! Listen! They all listen for a moment and look in the direction of the music. Giles: Come on. Cut to the hall. They come out of the library. Giles: We could... talk to her. Perhaps reason with her. Or possibly grab her. Willow: There are three of us. Xander: Let's go! They start down the hall. Cut to a mop closet. Buffy opens the door and turns on the light. Cordelia: If you ever tell to anyone that I changed in a mop closet... Buffy: Your secret dies with me. (looks around) Looks okay. But hurry. Cordelia: Okay. She leaves the closet and closes the door behind her. Cut to the basement. Giles, Willow and Xander come down the stairs and look around. They all listen for the next direction to take. Xander hears the flute through a pair of heavy metal doors. Xander: Over here. He opens the door and they all follow him into the boiler room. Giles: Marcie? We know what happened to you. Please, can we talk to you? Willow: We're sorry we ignored you. Xander follows the sound of the flute over to a shelf where there's a tape recorder playing. Xander: Can you say 'gulp'? Marcie can be heard running from the room and slamming the door behind her. The main gas valve has been opened and is hissing. Giles: What's that sound? Cut to the hall. Buffy is talking to Cordelia through the door. Buffy: You know what you were saying before? I understand. Somehow it doesn't seem to matter how popular you are when... Cordelia: You were popular? In what alternate universe? Buffy: In L.A. Th-the point is, I did sort of feel like something was missing. Cordelia: Is that when you became weird and got kicked out? Buffy: Okay. Can we have the heartfelt talk with a little less talk from you? (no response) Cordelia? She hears noises inside the closet and some muffled screaming. Buffy: Cordelia! She tries the door, but it's locked. Buffy: Cordelia! She punches through the door and reaches in to unlock it. As she comes in she sees Cordelia being pulled through the ceiling. Cordelia: Buffy! Buffy tries to jump and grab her legs, but she's pulled through too quickly. Buffy steps back, takes a running jump up to grab a pipe and swings herself up and through the opening. Cut to the basement. Giles: It's gas. (checks the furnace) She's snuffed out the pilot light! The gas is on full! (looks around) I can't find the shutoff valve. Xander finds the valve handle on the floor. Xander: Is this it? Willow: Okay, that's bad. How 'bout the door? She and Xander slam themselves into it, but it doesn't budge. Xander spots a bar, grabs it and starts to swing it at the door like a ram. Giles: NO! One spark and you'll take the whole building with us! Cut to the ceiling crawl space. Buffy looks around and finds Cordelia lying there. Buffy: Cordelia! (kneels next to her) Cordelia! (takes her pulse) Oh, my God! She's looking around for what to do when Marcie kicks her. She rolls away and falls through a ceiling panel and onto a desk below, smashing it and getting knocked out. Marcie drops a medical bag next to her and opens it. Buffy wakes and lifts her head to look around. Marcie gets a syringe out of the bag and goes over to Buffy. She sees the needle at the last moment as Marcie injects her in the neck. Buffy's vision blurs, and in just a few seconds she falls back to the floor unconscious. ~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ Outside the Bronze. Cut inside. Cordelia and Buffy are tied to the May King and Queen thrones. Buffy wakes up. Cordelia: Buffy? You're awake? Buffy: (a bit disoriented) Yeah. Cordelia: I can't feel my face! Buffy: What do you mean? Cordelia: My face. My face is numb. What is she doing? Buffy: I don't know. Cordelia looks at the curtain. 'Learn' is written on it in glitter. Cordelia: What does that mean? Buffy: I don't know. Cut to the basement. Giles tries to turn the gas valve off with his bare hands with some success. Giles: That should give us a few minutes, but we b... If we don't get out of this room soon... Willow: Why is Marcie doing this? Giles: The loneliness, the constant exile, she's... (coughs) she has gone mad! Xander: Ya think? (coughs) Cut to the Bronze. A tray wheels itself over to Buffy and Cordelia. Marcie: Uh, I'm disappointed. I'd really hoped you guys had figured it out by now. Buffy: Well, why don't you explain it? C'mon, Marcie, what are we supposed to learn? Cordelia: Yeah, what do you wanna teach us! Marcie: You don't get it. You're not the student. You're the lesson. Cordelia: What did you do to my face? Marcie: Your face. That's what this is all about, isn't it? Your beautiful face. That's what makes you shine just a little bit brighter than the rest of us. We all want what you have. To be noticed, remembered. To be seen. Cordelia: What are you doing? Marcie: Well, I'm fulfilling your fondest wish. She pulls off the cloth covering the tray, revealing several surgical instruments. Cordelia gasps when she sees them. Marcie: I'm gonna give you a face no one will ever forget. Cut to the basement. Willow is slouched on the floor, weakened by the lack of oxygen. Giles takes off his jacket and wraps it around the pole Xander found to prevent sparks. Giles: One, two, three! The two of them ram the door with the pole, and it makes a deep, loud boom, but it doesn't budge. Giles: Again! The door still won't budge. Cut to the Bronze. Buffy: Marcie, you can't do this. Marcie: What are you gonna do? Slay me? Buffy: Marcie, you know this is wrong. Marcie: (punches Buffy) You shoulda stayed outta my way. Y'know, I, I thought, I thought you would understand my vision, but you're just like them. She takes a scalpel from the tray and swings it at Cordelia's face. Cordelia: (gasps) Please don't do this! (watches the blade float in front of her) Nooohohoho! Marcie: You should be grateful. I mean, people who pass you in the street are gonna remember you for the rest of their lives. Buffy struggles to reach for the tray while Marcie concentrates on Cordelia. Marcie: Children are gonna dream about you. And every one of your, your friends who comes to the coronation tonight will take the sight of the May Queen to their graves. Cordelia: Wait! Marcie: No, we really have to get started. The local anesthetic's gonna wear off soon, and I don't want you to faint. It's less fun if you're not awake. Cut to the basement. Willow is unconscious. Xander and Giles are on the floor now, too. Xander: You guys are... I'm blacking out on you. He collapses onto Willow. Cut to the Bronze. Marcie: Let me see. I think we should start with your smile. I think it should be wider. Cordelia: Marcie, I know you think I don't understand, but I do! Marcie: Yeah, I'll *bet* you know how I feel. I'm sure you can just be with all your friends and feel so alone 'cause they don't really know you. You're just a typical, self-involved, spoiled little brat, and you think you can charm your way out of this, don't you?! ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU THINK?! She swings the scalpel and cuts Cordelia's cheek. Buffy looks at her in shock. Marcie: I see right through you. Buffy has freed her legs and kicks the instrument tray into Marcie. She stumbles back into the curtain. Buffy quickly pulls the rest of the ropes off and gets out of her chair. Cordelia: Oh, my God! Get me out of here, please! Buffy: (starts working on Cordelia's ropes) Hold still! Marcie can be heard getting back up, and she kicks Buffy away from Cordelia. Cordelia screams. Cordelia: (crying) Uh, huh, huh, oh, my God! Cut to the basement. Giles is weakly slapping against the door. It suddenly opens, and Giles falls through it. Angel stands in the doorway and looks around and down. He quickly grabs Giles and helps him up. Angel: Come on! He helps Giles out of the room. He pulls Xander up, and he wakes and gets out by himself. Angel picks Willow up in his arms and carries her out. Giles slams the door closed. They all cough and try to breathe. Xander: What happened? Angel: You tell me. Willow: (waking up) I'm up, mom. Xander: (notices Angel) Hi! What do you want? Angel: I brought you the Codex. (hands the book to Giles) I came in through the basement. I smelled the gas. Giles: Yes, w-w-well shut it off, otherwise, uh, the whole building will go up! Angel: I'll get it. It's not like I need the oxygen. Giles: Come on, let's get out of here. He leads Willow and Xander up the stairs as Angel watches them go. When they're gone Angel goes into the room to shut off the gas. Cut to the Bronze. Buffy gets up. Buffy: Y'know, I really felt sorry for you. You've suffered. There's one thing I really didn't factor into all this. You're a thundering loony! Cordelia: Buffy, are you okay? Buffy tries to get up, but Marcie kicks her back down. Cordelia: Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Buffy tries to get up again, but Marcie punches her and knocks her onto the chair. Cordelia: (screams) Buffy! Buffy falls off of the chair and tips it over onto herself in the process. Cordelia: (screams) Buffy! Oh, my God! Buffy gets up again and takes a blind swing. Marcie: Hey, moron! I'm invisible! (knocks Buffy down) How are you gonna fight someone you can't see? Cordelia: Oh, my God! She is in hysterics, and it's distracting Buffy. Buffy: Cordelia, shut up. Cordelia: (meekly) Okay. Buffy closes her eyes and tries to sense where Marcie is. Marcie slowly walks around her. The floor creaks under her foot and Buffy spins around and lands a punch right on target. Marcie staggers back into a red banner, and it wraps around her and gets pulled down with her. She gets up with the banner draped over her head. Buffy: I see you. She punches Marcie again, knocking her down once more. The side door opens, and several FBI men come in. Agent: Everybody stay where you are. Two agents run over to Buffy and Marcie. Doyle: (gun drawn) FBI! Nobody move! Manetti: (holds out his hand to keep Buffy back) Okay, we'll take it from here now, ma'am. (helps Marcie up) Buffy: Take what from where? Doyle: I'm agent Doyle, this is Agent Manetti. We're here for the girl. Buffy: Well, where were you ten minutes ago when she was playing surgeon? Doyle: I'm sorry, we came as fast as we could. Marcie: (to herself) Oh, my God! Doyle: (hands Marcie off to another agent) We'll take it from here on. Agent: C'mon. Buffy: You can cure her? Doyle: We can rehabilitate her. Manetti: In time she'll learn to be a useful member of society again. Marcie is led out of the Bronze by the other agents. Marcie: Where are we going? Doyle: Very useful. Buffy: (realizes) This isn't the first time this has happened, is it? It's happened at other schools. Manetti: We're not at liberty to discuss that. Doyle: It would be best for you to forget this whole incident. Buffy: Do you know that you guys are very creepy? Doyle: Thank you for your help. Manetti: Oh, and, uh... have a nice day. Buffy watches them go. Cordelia: Can I get untied now? Buffy turns to Cordelia and kneels down to untie her. She smiles up at Cordelia. Cut to the school halls the next day. The team is walking to the library. Buffy: I just can't believe how twisted Marcie got. By the way, how did you guys get out of the boiler room? Xander: Oh, well, when the gas was coming down, we... Giles: Janitor, um, found us. Shut the valve off. Willow: We were lucky. Buffy: I'll say. Cordelia comes down the hall toward them at a fast walk. Cordelia: Hi. Buffy: Hey! Cordelia: Look, um, I didn't get a chance to say anything yesterday with the coronation and everything... but, um, I guess I just wanted to say thank you, all of you. Xander: That's funny, 'cause she *looks* like Cordelia. Buffy elbows him in the chest. Cordelia: You really helped me out yesterday, and you didn't have to. So, thank you. Buffy: It's okay. Willow: Listen, we were gonna grab lunch in a minute if you wanted to... Mitch: (comes up behind Cordelia) Whoa, whoa. You're not hangin' with these losers, are you? Cordelia: Uhhh! Are you kidding? Heh! (takes his arm and leaves) I was just being charitable. Helping them with their fashion problems. Heh. You think I really felt like joining *that* social leper colony? Puh- leeease! Xander: Boy, where's an invisible girl when you really need one? They head into the library. Cut to an FBI building. Doyle and Manetti escort Marcie to a classroom. Doyle: I think you'll be happy here. Manetti: You should fit right in. Marcie doesn't answer, but just goes into the classroom. The only person visible in it is the teacher. Teacher: Welcome, Marcie. Marcie: Hey. Teacher: Class, this is Marcie. Class: Hi, Marcie. Teacher: Sit down. Marcie takes the chair on the end of the second row. Teacher: Okay, class, let's get started. Everybody turn to page fifty- four of your texts. Marcie opens her book and flips through to page fifty-four. The title of chapter eleven reads 'Assassination and Infiltration'. Marcie: Cool!

[an error occurred while processing this directive] Prophecy Girl Written by: Joss Whedon Directed by: Joss Whedon Transcribed by: AleXander Thompson Copyright © 1997 Alexander Thompson ~~~~~~~~~~ Prologue ~~~~~~~~~~ In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. The Bronze at night. Cut inside to Xander and Willow sitting at a table. Xander: You know how I feel about you. It's, uh, pretty obvious, isn't it? There's never been anyone else for me... but you. And we're good friends, and it's time to take the next step. Willow is listening to him dreamily. Xander: Would you, um... date me? Oh that's good! Date me! It's terrible, right? Willow: (comes back to earth) Huh? Oh, no! Oh, yes, 'date me' is silly... Xander: See, what I should do is I should just start with talking about the dance. (clears his throat) Y'know, Buffy, Spring Fling just isn't any dance. It's a time for students to choose, um... a mate and then we can... observe their... mating rituals and tag them before they migrate. Just kill me! Willow: You're doing fine! Xander: Why's it so hard? I should just walk up to her and say, 'Hey, I like you. Let's go to the dance together.' Willow: Direct and to the point. Xander: I'm ready. I wanna do it now. I *gotta* do it now. Willow: Oh, Buffy's not here. You can practice on me some more. Xander: No, no, I can't wait until tomorrow, I-I'll be thinking about it too much. Why didn't Buffy show up tonight? What's she doing? Willow: Oh, you know, the usual. Cut to the park. A car is parked in the distance with its windows all fogged up. Buffy comes falling into the field of view in slow motion and hits the ground hard on her back and exhales. Cut inside the car. Cordelia breaks off her kiss with Kevin. Cordelia: What was that? Kevin: What was what? Cut outside. Buffy props herself up. A vampire approaches her and growls. Cut inside the car. Cordelia: Someone's out there. Kevin: That's silly! Who would be out there? Cut outside. Buffy rolls in a reverse somersault and comes up standing, ready to fight. The vampire growls at her. She pulls a stake out from under her jacket behind her back and holds it pointing out from her hips so the vampire can see. He frowns at the sight of it as Buffy puts on an evil smile. This infuriates the vampire and he launches himself at her. She hits him with an out-to-in crescent kick, and then follows up with a high front snap kick, stunning him. She immediately plunges the stake home, and he falls over backward and bursts into ashes when he hits the ground. Buffy: Three in one night. Giles would be so proud. Cut to the roof of the library. The camera pans over to the skylight and looks in. Giles is at the table researching. He gets up and goes into his office to make some tea. Cut to Giles' office. He sits down at his desk with his cup of tea and reads the text of the Codex. Giles: Ho korias phanaytie toutay... tay nuktee. 'The Master shall rise...' Yes, yes, this is it! 'The Master shall rise, and the Slayer...' (looks up in disbelief) My God! He considers what he's just read for a moment and then reaches for his tea. The cup begins to jiggle, and he looks at it curiously. A few seconds later the whole building begins to shake, and he realizes he's experiencing his first earthquake. He gets up and looks around at everything shaking. His teacup vibrates off of the desk and smashes to pieces on the floor. Cut to the Bronze. The people panic. Xander grabs Willow and guides her away. Xander: Under the stairs! Under the stairs! They get under the stairs, and Willow grabs onto a step from underneath to steady herself. Someone rushing down the stairs nearly steps on her fingers, and she yelps as she pulls her hand back. Cut to Cordelia's car. She and Kevin hold on as they ride out the quake. Cut outside. Buffy looks around her at the shaking trees. Car alarms are going off everywhere. Cut to the library. Giles comes out of his office and sees several bookshelves fall over as the walls and the floor sustain severe damage. Cut to the Master's lair. He stands with his arms stretched out above him. Master: Yes! YES! Shake, Earth! This is a sign! We are in the final days! My time has come! Glory! GLORY! The quake is over as quickly as it started. The Master looks over at Collin. Master: Whadaya think? 5.1? Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ The library. Giles comes out of his office and walks over to the cage. Buffy comes in. Buffy: Morning! She looks around at all the damage. Giles looks at her like he's just seen a ghost. Buffy: Wow. The damage looks fairly structural. Are we safe in here? Giles: Buffy! Buffy: What? Do I have something on my face? (pats her face) Giles: No! Uh, and, and yes, we're, we're safe. (indicates the stacks) Uh, but probably best not to go up there. Buffy: How're you doin' there, Giles? Get much sleep last night? Giles: Um... I-I-I've been working. Buffy: Me, too. I went hunting last night, and it is awfully sweet of you to ask. It's getting hairy out there, Giles. I killed three vampires last night, and one of them was practically on school grounds. Giles: Their numbers are increasing. Buffy: And they're getting cockier. Look, I'm not loving it. Last night was a pretty close call. Giles: (distracted) Yes. Buffy: Giles, care? I'm putting my life on the line battling the undead. Look, I broke a nail, okay? I'm wearing a press-on. The least you could do is exhibit some casual interest. You could go, 'hmm'. Giles: (still distracted) Hmm? Oh, sorry. Um, yes, I'm very glad that you're alright. Uh, I-I need to verify, um... I just can't really talk right now. Buffy: Fine. That's okay. I can't put it off any longer. I have to meet my terrible fate. Giles: (turns around quickly) What?! Buffy: Biology. The bell rings as Buffy leaves the library to go to class. Giles watches her go. Cut outside after class. Buffy, Xander and Willow come out of the doors onto the balcony and head down the stairs. Buffy: (exhales) Wow. That was boring. Xander: I don't feel that boring covers it. Buffy: No, boring falls short. Willow: Even I was bored. And I'm a science nerd. Buffy: Don't say that. Willow: I'm not ashamed. It's the computer age. Nerds are in. They're still in, right? Xander: Willow, don't you have a thing? Willow: A thing? (remembers) The thing! That I have! Which is... a thing that I have to go to. They reach the bottom of the stairs. Willow: See ya later. (waves and departs) Buffy: What on earth is her deal? Xander: Uh, she's Willow. (laughs) So, uh, Buffy, I wanted to, um... There was this thing I wanted to ask you, to talk to you about. Buffy: Okay, what's up? Xander: Uh, let's go over here and sit. He leads her over to a bench. Buffy: Okay, now you're making me nervous. Xander: Oh, no, no, there's nothing to be nervous about. Really, it's silly. Ha, ha! (laughs nervously) They reach the bench, but a boy is sitting there. Xander: (to the boy) Hey. (the boy looks up) Leave. (the boy leaves) Thanks. (they sit) Buffy: Well? Xander: Um... You know, Buffy, uh, Spring Fling is a... time for students to gather and... Oh, God! (takes a breath) Buffy, I want you to go to the dance with me. You and me, on a date. Buffy: (speechless) I-I don't know what to say. Xander: Well, you're not laughing. So that's a good start. Buffy, I like you. A lot. And I know we're friends, and we've had experiences... We've fought some blood-sucking fiends, and that's all been a good time. But I want more. I wanna dance with you. Buffy: Xander, you're one of my best friends. You and Willow... Xander: Well, Willow's not looking to date you. Or if she is, she's playing it pretty close to the chest. (laughs nervously) Buffy: I don't want to spoil the friendship that we have. Xander: Well, I don't want to spoil it either. But that's not the point, is it? You either feel a thing or you don't. Buffy: (looks down a moment, then back up) I don't. Xander, I'm, I'm sorry. I-I just don't think of you that way. Xander: Well, try. I'll wait. (smiles weakly) Buffy: Xander... Xander: Nah. Forget it. (gets up) I'm not him. I mean, I guess a guy's gotta be undead to make time with you. Buffy: That's really harsh. Xander: Look, I'm sorry. I don't handle rejection well. Funny! Considering all the practice I've had, huh? Buffy: Xander, I'm sorry, I don't know... Xander: You know what? Let's just not. He goes into the building with his head hung low. Buffy exhales, bummed. She turns and watches him leave. Cut to the library. Giles is on the phone. Giles: Hello. Uh, this is Giles. Uh... Uh, Rupert Giles. Ms. Calendar walks in and stands by his office door. Giles: (into the phone) I-I need to see you. No, I-I realize that. Uh... Come after sundown. Good. I'll see you then. (hangs up) Ms. Calendar: You know, that outfit looks just like the one you wore yesterday. Only wrinklier. Were you here all night? Giles: Sorry, uh... I'm not really up to, uh, socializing just now. Ms. Calendar: Something's going on, Rupert, and I'm guessing you already know what it is. Giles: (turns around and gets up) What do you know? Ms. Calendar: Well, I have been surfing the 'Net, looking for unexplained incidents. You know, people are always sending stuff my way. They know the occult's my turf. Now, here is the latest. A cat last week gave birth to a litter of snakes. A family was swimming in Whisper Lake when the lake suddenly began to boil. And Mercy Hospital last night, a boy was born with his eyes facing inward. I'm not stupid. This is apocalypse stuff. And throw in last night's earthquake, and I'd say we've got a problem. I would say the end is pretty seriously nigh. Giles: I don't know if I can trust you. Ms. Calendar: I helped you cast that demon out of the Internet. I think that merits some trust. Look, I'm scared, okay? Oh, plus, I've got this, this crazy monk e-mailing me from Cortona about some Anointed One? Giles: The Anointed One? He's dead! Ms. Calendar: Someone's dead? Giles: Uh, who is this monk? Ms. Calendar: Uh, a brother Luca something? Keeps sending out global mailings about a prophecy. Giles: I need you to talk to him, find out everything he knows. Ms. Calendar: Look, Rupert, you haven't told me jack, so what's with the order? Giles: Just do it! I'll e-explain later. Ms. Calendar: You better. Cut to the halls. Kevin: I'll get everything tonight after practice. The guys'll help me. Cordelia: Well, it's all in the A-V room. The sound system, and the decorations... And, oh, Aura needs help, um, moving the coolers. Kevin: Don't sweat it! Cordelia: Well, bring everything to the Bronze, and I'll meet you there in the morning! Kevin: Done! Cordelia: (giggles) You're so sweet! Why're you so sweet? Kevin: I dunno! 'Cause I'm usually mean as a snake! She smiles at him. She spots Willow. Cordelia: Willow! (to Kevin) I'll see you in the morning. Kevin: Okay. (leaves) Cordelia: Willow! I really like your outfit! Willow: No, you don't. Cordelia: No, I really don't, but I need a favor. Willow: What kind? Cordelia: Well, the Bronze won't let us use their sound system, and I need someone who knows how to hook one up. If you could just show up tomorrow morning... Willow sees Xander throwing a ball against the wall in a classroom. Cordelia: ...I'd be really, really grateful! I mean, I'd talk to you at the dance and everything. Willow: Sure. (looks back at Xander) Cordelia: Great! Tomorrow at ten? Willow: Sure. She goes over to Xander in the room. Willow: Hey! Xander: Hey! (throws the ball) Willow: How'd it go? Xander: (throws the ball) On a scale of one to ten? It sucked. (throws the ball) Willow: Oh. Xander: Well, I guess it could be worse. (throws the ball) I could have gangrene on my face. (throws the ball) Willow: Well, what'd she say? Xander: Apart from 'no', does it really matter? She's still jonesin' for Angel, and could care less about me. Willow: At least now you know. Xander: Yeah, you're right. The deal's done. The polls are in, and it's time for my concession speech. (has an idea and brightens) Hey, I know what we'll do! We can go! Be my date! We'll, we'll have a great time! We'll dance, we'll go wild... Whadaya say? Willow: No. Xander: Good! What? Willow: There's no way. Xander: (exhales) Willow, come on! Willow: You think I wanna go to the dance with you and watch you wish you were at the dance with her? You think that's my idea of hijinks? You should know better. Xander: (exhales) I didn't think. Willow: I'm sorry it didn't work out for you. I'll see you on Monday. (leaves) Xander: That's okay. I don't wanna go. I'm just gonna go home, lie down and listen to country music. The music of pain. He throws the ball again and lets it bounce wild. Cut outside the school at night. Cut to the girls' locker room. Buffy shuts her gym locker. Two girls walk by chatting. Buffy plays with a stake as she heads to the sinks and puts it down on one. She looks at herself in the mirror and absently turns on the water. After looking in the mirror another moment she looks down and sees that blood is pouring from the faucet. Cut to the library. Buffy comes in. Buffy: (to herself) Giles, you are not gonna believe this. She stops when she hears Giles talking and looks into his office. Giles: It's clear. It's what's gonna happen. Uh, it's happening now! Angel moves into the light to read the Codex, and Buffy sees him. Buffy: Angel? She heads toward the office. Angel: It can't be. You've gotta be wrong. Giles: I've checked it against all my other volumes. It's very real. Buffy stops at the door. Angel: Well, there's gotta be some way around it. Giles: Listen. Some prophecies are, are a bit dodgy. They're, they're mutable. Buffy herself has, has thwarted them time and time again, but this is the Codex. There is nothing in it that does not come to pass. Angel: Then you're reading it wrong. Giles: I wish to God I were! But it's very plain! Tomorrow night Buffy will face the Master, and she will die. Buffy is stunned. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ Giles' office. Angel: Well, have you verified the text? Buffy begins to laugh. Angel and Giles see her and exchange a look. She slowly starts to walk away from the office door. Angel comes out of the office after her. She stops by the table and faces them. Giles stands in his office doorway. Buffy: So that's it, huh? I remember the drill. One Slayer dies, next one's called! Wonder who she is. (to Giles) Will you train her? Or will they send someone else? Giles: Buffy, I... Buffy: They say how he's gonna kill me? Do you think it'll hurt? Tears are flowing freely from her eyes. Angel tries to hug her, but she puts up her hands and quickly steps away. Buffy: Don't touch me! (to Giles) Were you even gonna tell me? Giles: I was hoping that I wouldn't have to. That there was... some way around it. I... Buffy: I've got a way around it. I quit! Angel: It's not that simple. Buffy: I'm making it that simple! I quit! I resign, I-I'm fired, you can find someone else to stop the Master from taking over! Giles: I'm not sure that anyone else can. All the... the signs indicate... Buffy: The signs? (throws a book at him) READ ME THE SIGNS! (throws another one) TELL ME MY FORTUNE! YOU'RE SO USEFUL SITTING HERE WITH ALL YOUR BOOKS! YOU'RE REALLY A LOTTA HELP! Giles: No, I don't suppose I am. Angel: I know this is hard. Buffy: What do you know about this? You're never gonna die! Angel: You think I want anything to happen to you? Do you think I could stand it? We just gotta figure out a way... Buffy: I already did. I quit, remember? Pay attention! Giles: Buffy, if the Master rises... Buffy: (yanks the cross from her neck) I don't care! (calms down) I don't care. Giles, I'm sixteen years old. I don't wanna die. Giles is at a loss. Buffy throws her cross down. Angel doesn't know what to say either. She walks out of the library without looking back. Cut to Willow's room. She's at her desk studying. She looks up at a picture of her and Xander and sighs. She picks up the phone and dials his number. Cut to Xander's room. "I Fall to Pieces", by Patsy Cline, is playing on the radio. Lyrics: I fall to pieces The phone rings. Xander lifts it off the hook, lets it drop back on the hook and then takes it off the hook completely. Lyrics: Each time I see you again Cut to Buffy's room. She's looking through a photo album. Jonatha Brooke's "Inconsolable" is playing on the radio. Her mother comes in. Lyrics: I never knew what enough was Joyce: Hi, honey. You alright? Lyrics: Until I'd had more than my share Buffy: Sure. Joyce: Probably just full from that bite of dinner you nearly had. Lyrics: I let the darkness in Joyce: Feel like telling me what's on your mind? Lyrics: And it was then I lost the dare Buffy: (turns to her mom) Mom, let's go away! (smiles) Joyce: What? Buffy: Anywhere, just for a while, all weekend! Joyce: Honey, I... Buffy: No, it'll be great! You and me, a mother-daughter thing... We can talk about all the embarrassing things you love to bring up. Joyce: You know the gallery's open on weekends. Buffy: Mom, please! Joyce: Isn't the Prom tomorrow night? Or Spring Fling, whatever they're calling it? Buffy: I-I guess. Joyce: Nobody asked you? Buffy: Oh, someone... Joyce: But not the right someone. See, sometimes I actually do know what you're thinking. (goes over to Buffy's closet) Well, then, uh, this probably isn't the best time for this, but, uh... She opens the closet to reveal a beautiful white sleeveless gown. Joyce: I saw you eyeing it at the store. I figured... Buffy: (gets up) Mom, we can't afford this. Joyce: The way you've been eating, we can afford it. Buffy: (comes over to look at it) It's beautiful. Joyce: I think you should wear it. To the dance. Buffy: No, I-I can't go to the dance. Joyce: Says who? Is it written somewhere? You should do what you want. Homecoming, my freshman year of college. I didn't have a date, so I got dressed up and I went anyway. Buffy: Was it awful? Joyce: It was awful. For about an hour. Buffy: Then what happened? Joyce: (smiles) I met your father. Buffy: He didn't have a date either? Joyce: He did. And that's a much funnier story that you will *not* get to hear. Oh, but it was a beautiful night! (exhales) Buffy: And you had your whole life ahead of you. Joyce: Yeah. Buffy: Must be nice. Cut to the school the next day. Cut inside to the halls. Cordelia and Willow are coming down the stairs. Cordelia: Oh, Kevin said that he'd bring everything to the Bronze last night. He promised! We'll never get everything ready in time. Willow: He probably forgot. It's not *that* big a deal. Cordelia: Uh, you don't understand. I'm not mad! He totally flaked on me. On me! And I don't even care. God help me, I think it's cute! Oh... Willow smiles. They reach the Audio-Visual room. They see Kevin and his friends through the windows. Cordelia: There they are! They're watching cartoons. That's so cu... That's not cute. That's annoying. I'm annoyed. Willow: Right. I'm furious. Cordelia: Men. I don't know why we put up with them. Willow: I hear ya. Cut to a view of the door from inside the room. Kevin is sitting on the floor leaning against it. The room is trashed and the boys are all dead. Cordelia: Obviously, Kevin has underestimated the power of my icy stare. She opens the door, and Kevin's body falls out into the hall. He has a vampire bite on his neck. Cordelia: (screams) Oh, my God! Kevin! (kneels by him) No! Willow looks up and slowly goes into the room. She sees the death and devastation. Cordelia: Kevin! There's a bloody handprint on the TV screen. Cut to Buffy's room. She's wearing her new white prom gown, and is looking at herself in the mirror. Her mom comes rushing in. Joyce: Buffy?! There's something on the news. Willow. Cut to a view of the sunset. Willow: I've seen so much. Cut to her room. She's on the bed hugging her knees. She's been crying. Willow: I thought I could take anything. But, Buffy, this... this was different. Buffy: It'll be alright. Willow: I'm trying to think how to say it... to explain it so you understand. Buffy: It doesn't matter as long as you're okay. Willow: I'm not okay. I knew those guys. I go to that room every day. And when I walked in there, it... it wasn't our world anymore. They made it theirs. And they had fun. (a tear rolls down her cheek) What are we gonna do? Buffy: What we have to. (gets up and exhales) Promise me you'll stay in tonight, okay? Willow nods. Buffy starts to go. Willow: Buffy? Buffy stops and turns back. Willow: (smiles through her tears) I like your dress. Buffy looks down at it and smiles weakly, then looks back up. Buffy: Take care. (leaves) Willow looks down sadly and stays on her bed. Cut to the Master's lair. He tests his confines as Collin watches. Master: Soon. He sends Collin on his way to get Buffy. Collin climbs up to the exit. Master: Soon! Cut to the library. Giles is getting weapons out of the cage and prepares them. Ms. Calendar: Okay, so this Master guy tried to open the Hellmouth. But he got stuck in it, and now all the signs are reading that he's gonna get out, which opens the Hellmouth, which brings the demons, which ends the world. Giles: Yes. That about sums it up, yes. Ms. Calendar: The part that gets me, though, is where Buffy is the Vampire Slayer. She's so little. Giles: You know how to get in touch with this, uh, brother Luca chap? Ms. Calendar: Hmm. As far as I can tell, no one can. He's disappeared. Did send out one last global though. A short one. Giles: What did it say? Ms. Calendar: Isaiah 11:6, which I dutifully looked up. Giles: 'The wolf shall live with the lamb, the leopard shall lie down with the kid, the calf, the lion and the fatling together, and the little child to lead them.' Ms. Calendar: That's kinda warm and fuzzy for a message of doom. Giles: Well, that depends where he's leading them to. Aurelius wrote of the Anointed One, 'The Slayer will not know him, and he will lead her into Hell.' Ms. Calendar: So Luca thinks the Anointed is a kid. Giles: If the vampire that Buffy killed was in fact not the Anointed, then it may well be. Ms. Calendar: Well, then we need to warn her. Giles: I don't intend involving her at all. Ms. Calendar: What do you mean? Giles: Buffy's not gonna face the Master. I am. Buffy: No, you're not. Giles and Ms. Calendar look over and see her approaching. Buffy: So, I'm looking for a kid, huh? And he'll lead me to the Master? Giles: Buffy, I'm not gonna send you out there to die. Now, you were right. I-I've waded around in these old books for so long, I've forgotten what the real world is like. I-it's time I found out. Buffy: You're still not going up against the Master. Giles: I've made up my mind. Buffy: So have I. Giles: I made up my mine first! I'm older and wiser than you, and just... just do what you're told for once! Alright? Buffy: That's not how it goes. I'm the Slayer. Giles: I don't care what the books say. I defy prophecy, and I am going. There's nothing you can say will change my mind. Buffy: I know. She pretends to turn to go, but then throws a hard punch to his face, knocking him out. He falls backward to the floor. Ms. Calendar scrambles to his aid. Buffy sees her cross on the table and puts it back on. Ms. Calendar lifts Giles' head in her hands and gets under it with her knees. She looks up at Buffy. Buffy: When he wakes up tell him... I don't know. Think of something cool, tell him I said it. Ms. Calendar: You fight the Master, and you'll die. Buffy: Maybe. (picks up the crossbow) Maybe I'll take him with me. She leaves the library. Ms. Calendar turns her attention to Giles. Cut outside the school. Buffy walks a short distance, looking all around, when she comes upon Collin. Collin: Help me... She lowers the crossbow and walks over to him. Buffy: It's okay. I know who you are. Collin holds out his hand. She takes it, and he starts to lead her away to the Master. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ The library. Willow and Xander are there, and have found out that Buffy has gone to fight the Master. Xander: She what? Willow: I told you there was something going on with her. Xander: And she knew about this prophecy of yours? (Giles nods) Aw, man, what do we do? Giles: We stay calm, first thing. Xander: Calm? Willow: I think he's right. Xander: I'm sorry, calm may work for Locutus of the Borg here, (indicates Giles) but I'm freaked out, and I intend to stay that way. Willow: Xander... Xander: How could you let her go? Giles: As the soon-to-be-purple area of my jaw will attest, I did *not* *let* her go! Willow: Well, how can we help her? Ms. Calendar: Uh, I'm sorry to bring this up, but we also have an apocalypse to worry about? Xander: Do you mind? Willow: How come she's in the club? Ms. Calendar: Hey! Once the Master gets free, the Hellmouth opens, the demons come to party, and everybody dies. Xander: Uh, uh, I don't care. I'm sorry, I don't. Right now I gotta help Buffy. Giles: We don't even know where she's gone. Xander: No. But I can find out. Cut to the tunnels. Collin guides Buffy in. She has the crossbow up and ready. He leads her down some stairs and into a round side tunnel. Cut to Angel's apartment. There's knocking at the door and Angel comes to answer, wondering who it could be. Angel: Oh. Look who's here. Xander: Mind if I come in? (comes in) Angel: (closes the door) Make yourself at home. Xander: She's gone. Angel: Whadaya mean? Xander: Buffy, she's gone to fight the Master. Angel: He'll kill her. Xander: Rumor has it. Only we're not gonna let it happen. Angel: Well, what do you propose we do about it? Xander: Look, I know you can find this Master guy. He's underground, right? Take me to him. Angel: You're way outta your league, kid. The Master'll kill you before you can even breathe. If you're lucky. Xander: How can I say this clearly? He holds up a cross. Angel growls. Xander advances toward him, and he backs off until he falls onto the couch. Xander: I don't like you. At the end of the day, I pretty much think you're a vampire. (lowers the cross) But Buffy's got this big old yen for you. She thinks you're a real person. And right now I need you to prove her right. Angel: You're in love with her. Xander: Aren't you? Cut to the library. Giles comes out of the stacks with an armful of books. Giles: The Master is as old as any vampire on record. There's no telling how powerful he'll be if he reaches the surface. Ms. Calendar: Okay, here's my question: the Hellmouth opens. Giles: Yes. Ms. Calendar: Where? If he's underground, and it's right where he is, where's it gonna open? Giles: Good point. Uh, well, look, you have a look through the Black Chronicles... (hands her one of the books) Ms. Calendar: Okay. Giles: Uh, Willow? Willow? Willow: Huh? Giles: (sits down at the table) Could you look through the local histories, please. Check for any common denominators, uh, locations of incidences and such. Willow: Right, okay. Cut to the entrance of the Master's lair. Collin stops, and Buffy looks at him. He points down below, inviting her to enter, and leaves the way they came. Buffy watches him go. Then she turns and makes her way down to the floor below. She looks around. There are hundreds of candles burning everywhere. Master: Welcome. The Master's voice seems to be coming from all directions. Buffy: Thanks for having me. The Master steps into the light to look at her. Buffy: Y'know, you really oughtta talk to your contractor. Looks like you got some water damage. Master: Oh, good. The feeble banter portion of the fight. Why don't we just cut to the... Buffy spins around and launches a bolt in the direction of his voice. With his lightning reflexes the Master catches it in mid-flight right in front of him at chest level. Buffy quickly reloads the bow. Master: Nice shot. Cut to the tunnels. Xander and Angel reach an intersection and stop. Angel looks in both directions, trying to remember the way. He remembers and walks past Xander. Angel: (quietly) This way. (looks at Xander) What? Xander: You were looking at my neck. Angel: What? Xander: You were checking out my neck! I saw that! (starts following) Angel: No, I wasn't! Xander: Just keep your distance, pal. Angel: I wasn't looking at your neck! Xander: I told you to eat before we left. Cut to the Master's lair. Master: You're not going to kill me with that thing. Buffy: Don't be so sure. Master: You still don't understand your part in all this, do you? You are not the hunter. You are the lamb. Cut to the library. Giles and Ms. Calendar are at the table studying their volumes. Giles: Well, let's think about this, then. The vampires have been gathering, they know he's coming, they will be his army. Ms. Calendar: Do you think they'll gather at the Hellmouth? Willow: Well, the last time the Master tried to rise was the Harvest. He sent a bunch of vampires to get him fresh blood. Ms. Calendar: Well, where did that go down? Giles: The Bronze. Willow: The Prom! Giles: We have to warn them. Ms. Calendar: (stops Giles) No! We'll go. You have to concentrate on demon killing. My car's in the lot. Willow and Ms. Calendar start out of the library. Giles: Stay close together, and for goodness' sake, be careful! Willow: We will. Cut to the Master's lair. Buffy is slowly walking around, searching for the Master. She comes upon a dead and rotted body. She continues her search. Buffy: You know, for someone who's all powerful, you sure do like to hide. Master: I'm waiting for you. I want this moment to last. Buffy: Well, I don't. She searches for a few moments longer, then the Master suddenly comes to stand right behind her. Master: I understand. She turns around and the Master knocks the crossbow out of her hands. He grabs her by the neck. Cut to the school parking lot. Ms. Calendar digs in her bag for her keys as she and Willow head for her car. Willow: What if they get to the Bronze before we do? (looks behind them) Ms. Calendar: (looks up and stops) Don't need to worry about that! Willow: (catches up) Why not? Ms. Calendar: 'Cause they're not goin' to the Bronze. They look out onto the field and see a hoard of vampires approaching. They look across the parking lot and see more of them. They turn to go back and see even more of them blocking their way. They're surrounded. Cut to the Master's lair. He has his hand around Buffy's throat. She swings up with her arm, knocks his hand away and starts to run. He holds his hand out toward her and she freezes, caught by his hypnotic powers. She looks back at him and can't move. He approaches her, making slow twisting motions with his hand. He comes up behind her, gently takes off her leather jacket and lets it fall to the ground. Buffy is panting hard with fear. Master: You tried. It was noble of you. You heard the prophecy that I was about to break free and you came to stop me. But prophecies are tricky creatures. They don't tell you everything. (whispers) You're the one that sets me free! (gloats) If you hadn't come, I couldn't go. (whispers) Think about that! Buffy is frozen with fear. The Master waits a moment longer and then bends down and bites her at the base of her neck. He drinks a few sips and lets her go. Master: Oh, God! The power! Buffy falls to her knees. Master: And by the way... She falls face down into the pool of water. Master: I like your dress. He steps over to the edge of his confines and pushes against the field. He forces his hand through, and his confines break down in a burst of light and energy. He starts up and out of his lair. Cut to the tunnels. Angel and Xander see the light coming out of an adjoining tunnel. Xander: What was that? Angel: It's too late. He's gone up. They break into a run for the Master's lair. Angel gets there first, looks around and spots Buffy. He scrambles down to the floor and rushes to her as Xander reaches the lair's entrance. Xander stops and stares at Buffy in the pool. Angel reaches her and quickly pulls her out of the water. He holds her and tries to listen for breathing. Nothing. He looks up at Xander. Angel: She's dead! Xander looks down at them and swallows hard. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ The Master's lair. Xander comes down to Angel and Buffy. Xander: No. She's not dead. Angel: She's not breathing. Xander: But if she drowned, uh, there's a shot! CPR! Angel: You have to do it. I have no breath. Xander takes off his jacket and lays it over her. He kneels down by her face and looks at her a moment, then puts his mouth on hers and blows into her lungs. He lets go and begins to pump her chest. Xander: C'mon. C'mon! Cut to the school parking lot. The vampires are advancing on Willow and Ms. Calendar. Ms. Calendar: Why are they coming here? Willow: Not caring! They hear a car screech to a stop behind them. Cordelia: Get in! Cut to the Master's lair. Xander breathes into her lungs again and continues to pump her chest. Xander: C'mon! Breathe! Breathe! Angel looks down in sorrow, then looks back up. Xander keeps pumping. Xander: C'mon! After another moment Xander stops pumping. Angel believes her lost. A second later Buffy opens her eyes wide and draws a breath. She lies still for a moment as she looks around with her eyes. Xander: Buffy! She turns her head to the side and coughs out a bunch of water. Xander and Angel look at each other and smile. Xander puts his hand on Buffy's forehead and strokes it gently. She looks up at him, surprised to see him. Xander: Buffy. Buffy: Xander? Xander: Welcome back. Cut to the school parking lot. Ms. Calendar and Willow run into the car. Cordelia: I was sitting where Kevin and I used to park, and all of a sudden these things are coming at me! They all scream as a vampire jumps on top of the car. Ms. Calendar: What do we do now? Willow: We've gotta get to the library! Cordelia: Library! Great! She burns rubber and makes a fast U-turn, throwing the vampire off of the roof of her car, and heads toward the school building. The car's engine races as Cordelia guns it toward the doors. Willow: Of course, we generally walk there. They crash through the doors and into the hall. Cut to the library. Giles hears the noise. Giles: What the... Cut to the halls. The car comes crashing through another set of doors and skids to a stop in front of the library. Cut inside. Giles gets up from the table. Cut to the hall. Vampires are running into the hall as the girls get out of the car, screaming as they run into the library. They push the doors closed just as the vampires get there. Cut inside. They lean against the door. Giles: What's happening? Ms. Calendar: Guess! A vampire punches through the small round window in one of the doors and grabs at them. Giles grabs a bookcase and carries it over to the door. Willow grabs a sign and starts hitting the vampire's arm with it. Giles gets the bookcase in place. He grabs the copier and pulls it over, too. Giles: Why are they coming here?! Cut to a shot of them from the back of the library. A green tentacle is worming its way up through the cracks in the floor. Cut to the roof of the library. The Master opens the roof access door and walks out. He looks at the view around him of the town at night and smiles. He exhales, walks to the edge of the roof and holds his arms out as he surveys the scene. Master: My world! Oh, my beautiful world! Cut to the Master's lair. Xander and Angel help Buffy up. Xander: Easy. Easy. Buffy: (standing now) The Master? Angel: He's gone up. Buffy starts to go. Xander: No. You're still weak. Buffy: (stops) No. No, I feel strong. I feel different. (looks back at them) Let's go! Cut to the library. They pile more things in front of the door. Giles looks at the back of the library and sees vampires trying to get in. Giles: (points) They're coming in through the stacks! Ms. Calendar: (to Willow) C'mon! She and Willow run to the back of the library. Ms. Calendar: The bookshelves! They lift a bookcase against the French doors that lead to the stacks and lean against it. Giles: My office... He goes to secure his office, leaving Cordelia alone at the main doors. The tentacle inches toward Willow's leg. Another vampire punches through the other library door window and grabs Cordelia's arm. She screams. Cordelia: Somebody help! Cut outside. Buffy marches determinedly toward the school with Xander and Angel close behind. Xander: So, how do you know where the Master's going? Buffy: I know. A vampire tries to block their way into the school. Buffy: Oh, look, a bad guy. She punches him on her way by, and he falls flat on his back. Cut inside to the stairs leading to the roof. Buffy comes around the corner in the hall. Buffy: Okay, you two wait here, keep the rest of the vampires off me. Xander: Right. Buffy: Angel, better put on your game face. Angel: (vamped out) I'm ready. Buffy: One way or another, this won't take long. She looks at them both once more and then heads up to the roof. Cut to the library. Cordelia hits the vampire's hand and then bites it. The vampire screams and lets go. Cordelia: See how *you* like it! Cut to the back. Willow: This won't keep 'em out for long! She looks down and sees the tentacle wrap itself around her ankle and screams loudly. Ms. Calendar grabs hold of her. Ms. Calendar: GILES! GILES! Giles comes running out of his office in time to see a huge, green, multi-headed and tentacled demon burst through the floor. Giles: The Hellmouth! Cordelia can't believe what she's seeing. The creature has three heads and reaches all the way to the ceiling. Cut to the roof. The Master looks in through the skylight and claps his hands idly. Master: Yes. Come forth, my child. Come into my world. Buffy: I don't think it's yours just yet. The Master turns his head and stares at her in surprise. Master: You're dead! Buffy: I may be dead, but I'm still pretty. Which is more than I can say for you. Master: You were destined to die! It was written! Buffy: What can I say? I flunked the written. The Master growls and reaches his arm out to try his hypnosis on her again. Master: Come here! Cut inside the library. Willow screams as the Hellmouth creature tries to drag her away from Ms. Calendar. Ms. Calendar: GIIILES! Giles grabs an ax from the table and rushes up the stairs to their aid. Ms. Calendar: GILES! He swings it into one of the heads, and the creature roars in agony as the women continue to scream. Cut to the roof. Buffy slowly approaches the Master, apparently hypnotized. He grabs her by the throat again. Master: Did you really think you could best me here when you couldn't below? (lets go of her neck) Buffy: (looks at him curiously) You have fruit punch mouth. Master: What? She swings a wide hard punch to his mouth, and he falls down. Buffy: Save the hypnosis crap for the tourists. As he gets up she does a swinging roundhouse kick that connects squarely with his face. He swipes at her and she jerks back, but he manages to slice her with his fingernails across her upper right chest, drawing blood. She punches him in the kidney. He punches her in the jaw. She tries to punch him again, but he blocks her and punches her in the face, sending her flying backward into the wall behind her. Cut inside. Giles swings again with the ax and hits the creature. He tries again, but this time it knocks him off of the mezzanine and onto the large table below. It breaks when Giles hits it, and one side falls over onto its end, leaving a huge spike pointing upward. Cut to the bottom of the stairs. Two vampires attack Angel and Xander. Angel starts to fight the one while the other jumps on Xander's back. He holds his cross up to her and she jumps off. Angel stakes the one he's fighting and Xander punches out the other. Cut to the library. One of the creature's heads hovers above Giles. Another one faces Willow and laughs. Cut to the roof. The Master is ready to continue fighting. Buffy launches herself into a front tuck over his head and lands between him and the skylight. She kicks him in the side with a side snap kick, but he quickly turns around and grabs her by the neck again. Master: Where are your jibes now? She looks behind her and sees the upended table through the skylight. Master: You laugh when my Hell is on Earth? Buffy: You're that amped about Hell... (grabs him by the neck) Go there! She lifts him up and flips him over herself and through the skylight. He falls down and is impaled on the table. He slowly turns to ash until only his skeleton is left. Buffy watches from above. Giles gets up. The Hellmouth creature quickly disappears back into the floor. The vampires are all gone. Cut to the main library doors. Cordelia pushes the last of the junk away from them and pulls the door open for Buffy, Angel and Xander. They all walk over to the Master. Giles: The vampires? Cordelia: Gone. Angel: The Master? Giles: Dead. The Hellmouth is closed. Buffy... Buffy? Buffy: Oh, sorry. It's just been a really weird day. (smiles) Xander: Yeah! Buffy died, and everything! Willow: Wow! Harsh. Giles: I should have known that wouldn't stop you. Buffy smiles up at him again. Ms. Calendar: Well, what do we do now? Giles: I don't know about the rest of you, but I'd like to get out of this place. I don't like the library very much anymore. Xander: Hey! I hear there's a dance at the Bronze tonight. Could be fun. Cordelia: Yeah! Willow: Buffy? Buffy: Sure! We saved the world. I say we party! (looks down at her dress) I mean, I got all pretty. Ms. Calendar: And what about him? (indicates the Master) Buffy: (looks at the Master) He's not going anywhere. Loser. They all start to go and chatter. Buffy trails the group. Giles: (to Ms. Calendar) I'm not dancing, though. Ms. Calendar: We'll see. Willow: (to Angel) You can come with us, Angel. Buffy: I'm hungry. Xander: So what's the story with the car? Cordelia: Oh, that was me, saving the day! Willow: (to Angel) Get something to drink. Buffy: Is anybody else hungry? Willow: (to Angel) Well, no, don't do that. Just hang. Buffy: I'm really, really hungry. Angel hangs back with Buffy. Angel: By the way, I really like your dress. Buffy: Yeah, yeah. Big hit with everyone. The camera pans back and up for a shot of the Master's skeleton from above. When She Was Bad Written by: Joss Whedon Directed by: Joss Whedon Transcribed by: AleXander Thompson Copyright © 1997 Alexander Thompson ~~~~~~~~~~ Prologue ~~~~~~~~~~ In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. The cemetery. The camera pans across it and over to the sidewalk along the border. Willow and Xander are on their way home. Xander has an ice cream cone and takes an occasional lick. Willow: Okay, um... Xander: It's your turn. Willow: I, alright, okay, uh... 'In the few hours that we had together, we loved a lifetime's worth.' Xander: Terminator. Willow: Good! Great. Xander: Um, oh, okay, I got one. (imitating Charlton Heston) 'It's a madhouse! A mad...' Willow: (interrupts) Planet of the Apes. Xander: Can I finish, please? Willow: Oh! Sorry, go ahead. Xander: '...house!' (indicates she may answer) Willow: Planet of the Apes. Okay, good. Me. Uh... Xander: Well? Willow: I'm thinking. 'Use the Force, Luke.' Xander: Do I even have to dignify that with a guess? Willow: I couldn't think of anything. It's a dumb game anyway. Xander: Well, what else do you wanna do? We already played rock, paper, scissors. My hands cramped up. Willow: Well, yes, if you're always scissors of course your tendons are gonna strain... Xander: (interrupts) Y'know, I just gotta say that this has been the most boring summer ever. Willow: Yeah, but on the plus side no monsters or stuff. She steps over to the wall and hops up to sit on it. Xander: I'm just so restless! I'm actually looking forward to school startin' up again. Willow: Yeah, and that wouldn't have anything to do with a certain girl we both know who is a Vampire Slayer? Xander: Please, I'm so over her. Did she, uh, mention when she might be gettin' back? About which I do not care. Willow: I haven't heard from her. I got a couple postcards when she went to L.A., but then, like, nothing. Xander: Well, she's probably with her dad having a good time. Willow: And you don't care? Xander: Well, okay, there might be some interest. I'm a man. I have certain desires, certain needs... Willow: Uhhh! I don't wanna know. Xander: I got a movie for ya! (taps her nose with his ice cream) Willow: (surprised) Xander! Xander: You're Amish! You can't fight back... 'cause you're Amish! I mock you with my ice cream cone, Amish guy! Willow: Witness. (pouty) My nose is cold. Xander: Let me get that for ya. (leans in to lick off her nose) Willow: Xander! (stops him) Xander: I'm sorry, I can't help myself. Your nose looks so tasty. He reaches up with his napkin and gently wipes off her nose. He takes much longer than he needs to and looks into her eyes. He brushes his hand against her cheek. After another moment he starts to move in for a kiss. She responds in kind and tilts her head. They stop just short of making contact and linger there a moment. Xander finally begins to pull back, and when he does he sees a vampire standing on the other side of the wall. Willow notices his glance and looks, too. She screams and jumps off of the wall as Xander pulls her away from the vampire. Xander: Willow, go! He puts himself between her and the vampire. She doesn't go, but watches as he punches the vampire in the face. The vampire isn't fazed. He grabs Xander and tries to bite. Xander struggles with him to keep from being bitten. After a few moments of wrestling a hand grabs the vampire by the shoulder and pulls him off of Xander. It's a girl, and she punches the vampire in the face, knees him in the crotch and flips him over onto his back. She turns to Willow and Xander. Buffy: Hi, guys! The vampire gets up. Buffy turns her attention back to him and kicks him in the chest, sending him flying into a tree, where he gets impaled on a dead branch and bursts into ashes. She turns back to Willow and Xander. Buffy: Miss me? Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ On the sidewalk. Willow: Buffy! Xander: Hey! (hugs her) Buffy: Hey. Hey, Will! (hugs her) Xander: (hugs Buffy again) Man, your timing really doesn't suck. (laughs) Willow: When'd you get back? Buffy: Uh, just now. Dad drove me down. And I figured you two losers would be getting into some kind of trouble. Willow: I think we had the upper hand. I-in a subtle way. Buffy: Does either of you even have a cross? Very sloppy. Xander: Well, it's been a slow summer. I mean, that's the first vampire we've seen since you killed the Master. Buffy: It's like they knew I was coming back. They start to walk. Xander: So, what about you? How was your summer? Did you slay anything? Buffy: No. Uh, just hung out, partied some, shopping was also a major theme. Xander: Well, you haven't lost your touch. That vampire... Buffy: I did kinda whale on him, didn't I? Xander: (notices) I like your hair. Buffy: (giggles) So, how did you guys fare? Did you have any fun without me? Xander: No. Willow: Yes! Xander: Uh, our summer was kinda yawnworthy. Our biggest excitement was burying the Master. They stop walking. Willow: That's right, you missed it. (points) Right out by that tree. (Buffy looks) Giles buried the bones and we poured holy water and we got to wear robes. Xander: Very intense. You shoulda been. Willow: Have you seen Giles? Buffy: Why would I do that? I'll see him at school. Xander: Man, I'm really glad you're back. Buffy: (looks at the tree again) Me, too. Cut to Buffy's room. Her dad is helping her mom unpack her things. Joyce opens a suitcase and looks through it. Hank: Okay, then. This is the last of it. (puts another suitcase on the bed) Joyce: More clothes? Hank: Oh, do shoes count as clothes? Joyce: How much shopping did you let her do? Hank: Oh, I just thought I was saving you from the big back-to-school clothing nightmare. (unzips the suitcase) Joyce: My nightmares of Buffy in school have nothing to do with clothes. Did she manage to stay out of trouble in L.A.? Hank: She did, yeah. She was, um... you know, great. Joyce: But? Hank: She was just, I don't know, um... distant. Not brooding or sulking, just... there was no connection. The more time we spent together, the more I felt like she was nowhere to be seen. Joyce: Hence the shoes? Hank: (hands her the shoes) I may have overcompensated a little bit. Joyce: Hmm. Hank: It's so strange. You know, at least when she was burning stuff down I knew what to say. Joyce: Well, welcome to my world. I haven't been able to get through to her for so long. I'll just be happy if she makes it through the school year. Cut to Sunnydale High. Cordelia: It was a nightmare, a total nightmare. Cut to her and two friends coming down some stairs and walking across the quad. Cordelia: I mean, they promised me they'd take me to St. Croix, and then they just decide to go to Tuscany. (exhales) Art and buildings? I was totally beachless for a month and a half. No one has suffered like I have. Of course I think that that kind of adversity builds character. Well, then I thought, I already have a lot of character. Is it possible to have too much character? Snyder: The first day back. It always gets me. Giles: Yes. Cut to the two of them walking along the colonnade. Snyder: I mean, it's incredible. One day the campus is completely bare. Empty. The next, there are children everywhere. Like locusts. Crawling around, mindlessly bent on feeding and mating. Destroying everything in sight in their relentless, pointless desire to exist. They stop. Snyder looks around, observing the students. Giles: I do enjoy these pep talks. Have you ever considered, given your abhorrence of children, school's principal was not, perhaps, your true vocation? Snyder: Somebody's got to keep an eye on them. They're just a bunch of hormonal time bombs. (takes two steps away from Giles) Every time a pretty girl walks by every boy turns into a gibbering fool. Giles spots Jenny coming towards them. Giles: Ms. Calendar! Jenny: Mr. Giles! Giles: Well, I, uh, um... Hello! Snyder: You see the way these kids gaze at each other... all moony. Jenny: It's good to see you. Giles: Yes. Snyder: You think they're thinking about learning? Giles: Uh, were you headed to the, uh, faculty room? Jenny: Sounds like fun! They head off to the faculty room leaving Snyder behind. Snyder: I try and tell 'em about the important things in life. Discipline, responsibility, punctuality. Might as well be talking to myself. Cut inside to the halls. They walk through the student lounge. Giles: How was your summer? Jenny: Extreme. I did Burning Man in Black Rock, ohhh, such a great festival, you should've been there. They had drum rituals, mobile sculptures, raves, naked mud dances, you would've just... hated it with a fiery passion! Giles: I can't imagine finding any redeeming, uh... (stops at the base of the stairs) Naked? Jenny: Hmm. And you probably spent all summer with your nose in a book. Giles: Yes. I suppose you'd consider that frightfully dull. Jenny: Depends on the book. (smiles) Willow and Xander come down the stairs. Buffy is not far behind them. Willow: Giles! Xander: Yo! G-man! What's up? Giles: Nice to see you. And don't ever call me that. Jenny: Hi, kids. Willow: Hi! Buffy arrives now, too. Giles: (to Buffy) How are you? Buffy: Live and kicking. Willow: Buffy killed a vampire last night. They all look around to see if anyone overheard. Buffy: Uh, I think you can get a little more volume if you speak from the diaphragm. Willow: Sorry. Jenny: (quietly) We've got vampires? I thought the Hellmouth was closed. Giles: Well, it's, it's closed, but not gone. The mystical energy that emanates from it is still concentrated in this area. Xander: Which means we're still the undead's favorite party town. Giles: I wonder if they're here for any purpose, particularly. Buffy: You're the Watcher. I just work here. Giles: Yes, I-I must consult my books. Xander: Oh, eight minutes and thirty-three seconds, pay up. (Willow hands him a dollar) I called ten minutes before you'd consult your books about something. (to Willow) Thanks. The bell rings. Willow: We better get to class. They all start making their way to their classes. Giles: Oh, uh, Buffy! (she looks back) Uh, I realize you've only just returned, but when you're ready I-I think we should start your training again. Buffy: I'm ready. I'll see you after school. (starts to go again) Giles: Well, I-I-I understand if, if you want a few days to... Buffy: I'm ready. (leaves) Cut to the library after school. Buffy does tumbling and kicking exercises that take her all around the library. Then they continue training with the quarterstaff. Buffy swings it at Giles' hand pads. He retreats as she hits. He ducks a swing but she continues around with the quarterstaff and knocks him back into the chairs by the table. Next she practices her punches on the wooden punching dummy. She has a flash of the Master and begins to go crazy on it, throwing continuous rapid punches. Giles: Buffy, that's enough. She keeps whaling on the dummy. Giles: Buffy! She kicks it, and it breaks. Giles: Uh, safe to say you've stayed in shape. Buffy: (breathing hard) I'm ready. Whatever they've got coming next, I'm ready. (bunches her hair above her head) Yeah. Cut to an old brick warehouse. Cut inside. Absalom: We have been put down, kinsmen. We have lost our way. We have lost the night. But despair is for the living. Where they are weak, we will be strong. Where they weep, we rejoice. Where they bleed, (laughs) we drink! Within three days a New Hope will arise. We will put our faith in him. (looks over at Collin) He will show us the way. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ The student lounge. Buffy is upstairs on a couch, off in her own world. Willow and Xander come up the stairs to her. Xander: Buffy! (no response) Buffy! Buffy: (back on earth) Fine! I'm fine. Xander: Good! It's good that you're fine. Willow sits on the couch opposite Buffy. Xander steps past Buffy and sits on the couch next to her. Willow: What were you thinking about? (gets out an apple) Buffy: Nothing. Xander: Oh, c'mon, you can tell us. We're your bosom friends! The friends of your bosom! He gets a power bar out of his bag. Willow: Xander. Xander winces at his power bar. Willow frowns at her apple. They toss them to each other over the table. Buffy: I wasn't thinking anything, really. Willow: What'd you do last night? Buffy: Mm. Slept. I had weird dreams. Xander: Dreams are meaningful. Willow: Tsh! Tell me about it. The other night I dreamt that Xander... Uh, I-it wasn't Xander. I-in fact it wasn't me. It was a friend's dream, and she doesn't remember it. Buffy: I bet she doesn't. Giles: (finds them) Buffy! Buffy: Giles! (gets up) What is it? You look worried. Giles: This vampire activity, I think I know what they're up to. Buffy: Well, we'll deal with it. Giles: I hope it's that simple. Buffy: It is not to worry. Trust me. Giles: Oh, I don't know. I mean, (chuckles) I've killed you once, it shouldn't be too difficult to do it again. Buffy: What? Giles takes a hard backhand swing at her face, knocking her down onto the table between the two couches. He gets on top of her and begins to choke her. Xander and Willow just sit on the couches and chew away at their food. Willow smiles at Xander. Buffy reaches up to Giles' face and tries to push him off. She claws at him, and suddenly pulls off a mask, revealing the Master underneath. Buffy stares up at him in wide-eyed terror. Cut to Buffy's bedroom. She wakes from her nightmare with a start. She looks around and over at her open window. She sits up and rubs her face. When she looks back at her window again Angel is there, leaning against the sill. Buffy: Hello. Angel: Mind if I come in? Buffy: Be my guest. Angel: How are you? Buffy: Peachy. So, is this a social call? It is kinda late. Or, well, it is for me, anyway. What is it for you, lunch hour? Angel: It's not a social call. Buffy: Ah. So, lemme guess. That means grave danger. Gosh, it's good to be home. Angel: I'm sorry. I wish I had better news. Buffy: So, some of your cousins are in town for a family barbecue, and we're all on the menu! Angel: The Anointed One. He's been gathering forces somewhere in town. I'm not sure why. Buffy: Guess I'll find out soon enough, huh? Angel: You don't sound too concerned. Buffy: I can handle myself. Besides, I could use a little action anyway. Angel: Don't underestimate the Anointed One just because he looks like a child. He has power over the rest of them. They'll do anything for him. Buffy: Is that it? Is that everything? Y'know, 'cause you woke me up from a really good dream. She turns away from him and lies back down. Angel: Sorry. I'll go. (turns around to go, but pauses) I missed you. Buffy: (turns to the window) I missed you? Angel is already gone. "It Doesn't Matter", by Alison Krauss, plays in the background. Lyrics: It doesn't matter what I want / It doesn't matter what I need Cut to Joyce's Jeep the next morning on the way to school. Lyrics: It doesn't matter if I cry Joyce: How are your new classes? Buffy: Good. Lyrics: Don't matter if I bleed Joyce: Good. Is there the slightest chance that if I asked you what was wrong you would tell me? Lyrics: You've been on a road Buffy looks over at her mother. Joyce: Course not. It would take all the fun out of guessing. Lyrics: Don't know where it goes or where it leads Cut to the halls at Buffy's locker. Willow: Angel stopped by? Wow. Was there... Well, I mean, was it having to do with kissing? Buffy: Willow, grow up. Not everything is about kissing. Xander: (to Willow) Yeah. Some stuff's about groping. (to Buffy) It wasn't about groping? Buffy: Okay, hormones on parade here? It was pure shoptalk. Remember vampires, pointy teeth, they walk by night, am I ringing a bell? Willow: What did he say? Buffy: Oh, something's up. (closes her locker) Nothing I can't handle. They begin to walk down the hall to class. Xander: Oh, hey, did you guys hear that Cibo Matto's gonna be at the Bronze tonight? Willow: Cibo Matto? They're playing? Xander: No, Willow, they're gonna be clog dancing. Willow: Cibo Matto can clog dance? (gets a look from Xander) Oh, sarcasm, right. Xander: We should attend, no? Cordelia comes out of class and engages them in the hall. Cordelia: Oh, look, it's the Three Musketeers. They look at each other, not sure what to make of that. Buffy: (to Xander) Was that an insult? Xander: Kinda lacked punch. Willow: The Three Musketeers were cool. Cordelia: I see your point. Xander: I woulda gone with Stooges. Cordelia: Well, I just meant that you guys always hang out together. So, did you guys fight any demons this summer? Willow: Uh, yes! Our own personal demons. Xander: Uh, such as, as, as lust and, uh, thrift! Buffy: I would have to go with Stooges also. Cordelia: What are you guys talking about? I'm talking about big squiggly demons that came from the ground? Remember? Prom night? With all the vampires. Buffy: Cordelia, your mouth is open and sound is coming from it. This is never good. Xander: No. (takes Cordelia aside) It's, see, we can't mention that stuff in front of other people, Buffy being the Slayer and all. Willow: You haven't been talking about our little adventure all summer, have you? Cordelia: Are you nuts? Do you think I would tell people that I spent the whole evening with you? Besides, it was all so creepy. That Master guy? And all the screaming? I don't even like to think about it. (to Buffy) So your secret's safe with me. Buffy: Well, that works out great. You won't tell anyone that I'm the Slayer, and I won't tell anyone you're a moron. (leaves) Xander: Now, that was a good insult. Willow: A little too good. Cordelia: What's up with her? Cut to the Bronze that night. People are gathering and going in. Cut inside. Cibo Matto is on stage playing "Spoon". Lyrics: Don't, don't want the boys Cut to Willow and Xander sitting at a table. She has a cup of ice cream. Willow: I just think something's up is all. Lyrics: Don't, don't note the heat Xander: Willow, you're paranoid. Willow: Buffy's never acted like this before. Ever since she got back she's... different. Lyrics: Can't find a spoon... Xander: Buffy's always been different. Willow: She's never been mean. Lyrics: ...that we have had Xander: (exhales) Any sign of her? She said she was coming. Lyrics: The sugar cubes... Willow: No. The band's cool, though. Xander: Yeah, cool. Lyrics: ...can melt our mouth / We belong, yes, to-to-together Willow dips her nose into her ice cream and smiles, trying to get Xander's attention. Lyrics: We belong, yes, to-to-together / We belong, yes, to-to-together Xander: (looks at her) You got somethin' on your nose. Lyrics: We belong, yes, to-to-together / We belong, yes, to-to-together The smile disappears from Willow's face, and she wipes the ice cream off with her napkin. Lyrics: We belong, yes, to-to-together Cut to the cemetery. Dissolve to the tree where the Master is buried. Four crosses mark his grave. A shovel stabs into the dirt and starts to dig. Another one joins in. The camera pans around to Absalom, Collin and two others watching the first two vampires dig. Absalom: (to the other two) Don't just stand there. Dig! We have to hurry. The other two get on their knees and begin to dig. The ground burns their hands. Vampire: The ground is consecrated! It burns! Collin: Dig. The two vampires continue digging by hand. The grave is shallow, and they soon unearth the Master's skull. Cut to the Bronze. The band starts their next number, "Sugar Water". Lyrics: The velocity of time... turns her voice into... sugar water Buffy walks into the Bronze. Angel sees her come in and goes over to her. Buffy: Hi. Angel: Hi. Buffy: So, is there danger at the Bronze? Should I beware? Angel: I can't help thinking I've done something to make you angry. And that bothers me more than I'd like. Buffy: I'm not angry. I don't know where that comes from. Angel: What are you afraid of? Me? Us? Buffy: Could you contemplate getting over yourself for a second? There's no 'us'. Look, Angel, I'm sorry if I was supposed to spend the summer mooning over you, but I didn't. I moved on. To the living. She heads over to Willow and Xander's table. Cordelia watches her go by, and wonders about her attitude. Lyrics: I'm on a concrete way / The wind is blowing... Buffy: Hey! Willow: Hi. Xander: Hey. Lyrics: ...to the north-northwest Willow: What's wrong with Angel? Buffy: Beats me. Lyrics: It smells like sands of the southern island Buffy: (to Xander) Let's dance. (pulls at his shirt) Xander: Ooo-kay. (is pulled by his shirt to the dance floor) Lyrics: When a black cat crosses my path Buffy and Xander begin to slow dance. Her movements are very sensual. Lyrics: A woman in the moon is singing to the earth / A woman in the moon is singing to the earth / La la la, la la la la la la / La la la, la la la la la la Buffy turns around and spoons in against Xander, pulling his arms around her waist. She grinds her hips and shoulders against him. Lyrics: La la la, la la la la la la / La la la, la la la la la la She reaches up with her hand and strokes his face. Angel looks on jealously. Willow watches in disbelief. Buffy continues her grinding. Lyrics: I'm riding on a camel that has big eyes / The buildings are changing into coconut trees / Little by little Buffy turns to Xander and tilts her head up to his, close enough to kiss. Buffy: Xander? Did I ever thank you... for saving my life? Lyrics: When a black cat... Xander: No. Lyrics: ...crosses my path Buffy slowly slithers around him, making sure not to lose contact with his body. Lyrics: A woman in the moon is singing to the earth Buffy: Don't you wish I would? She breaks off, leaving him standing there. Xander isn't sure what to make of it all, but he knows he doesn't like it. Lyrics: A woman in the moon is singing to the earth Buffy goes back to their table and retrieves her jacket. Lyrics: La la la, la la la la la la She walks past Cordelia as she makes her way out of the Bronze. Angel follows her with his stare. Lyrics: La la la, la la la la la la Xander is still standing on the dance floor, upset and unsure how to react. Cut outside. Buffy exits the Bronze and walks down the alley at a quick pace. Cordelia follows her out. Cordelia: Buffy. (Buffy stops) You're really campaigning for bitch-of- the-year, aren't you? Buffy: (turns to face her) As defending champion, you nervous? Cordelia: I can hold my own. You know, we've never really been close, which is nice, 'cause I don't really like you that much, but... you have on occasion saved the world and stuff, so I'm gonna... do you a favor. Buffy: And this great favor is... Cordelia: I'm gonna give you some advice. Get over it. Buffy: Excuse me? Cordelia: Whatever is causing the Joan Collins 'tude, deal with it. Embrace the pain, spank your inner moppet, whatever, but get over it. 'Cause pretty soon you're not even gonna have the loser friends you've got now. Buffy: I think it's about time you start minding your own business. Cordelia: It's long past. Buffy: (turns and goes) Nighty-night. (flips up her hood) Cordelia: I'll just see if Angel feels like dancing. She is suddenly grabbed by two vampires coming out of the shadows and dragged into an adjacent building. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ A basement. The two vampires force Cordelia down the stairs. At the bottom they shove her into the room. She's frightened and looks around. She takes a step sideways and bumps into a hand. She looks down and sees that it's Jenny. She crouches down to see if she's okay, but Jenny is unconscious. Cordelia: Ms., Ms. Calendar? Oh, God, Ms. Calendar? Cut to the cemetery. Buffy is going to check out the Master's grave. When she gets there she finds it dug open and his bones exhumed. She steps back slowly, and thinks she sees the Master out of the corner of her eye. She quickly turns to look, but no one's there. Willow: She's possessed! Cut to the student lounge. Giles is getting a soda from the vending machine. Giles: Possessed? Willow: That's the only explanation that makes any sense. I mean, you should've seen her last night. That wasn't Buffy. Xander: Are we overlooking the idea that she may be very attracted to me? (gets looks from the others and concedes) She's possessed. Giles: Possessed by what? Willow: Aaaaa possessing thing! Giles: (sarcastically) Well, that narrows it down. He takes a sip of his soda and winces at its sweetness. Xander: Well, you're the expert. Hey, maybe when the Master killed her some... mystical bad guy transference thing happened. Willow: That's what it was! I mean, why else would she be acting like such a b-i-t-c-h? Giles: Willow, I think we're all a little too old to be spelling things out. Xander: A bitca? Giles: (not surprised by Xander's misunderstanding) Yes. I suggest that, uh, the explanation for her behavior may be something more, more mundane. The bell rings and the students around them begin to leave for class. Giles: (sits) She may simply have what you Americans refer to as issues. Uh, her experience with the Master must have been extremely traumatic. Well, she was, for at least a few minutes, technically dead. (Buffy appears in the door) I-I don't think she's dealt with that on a conscious level. (Xander notices Buffy) She's convinced herself that she's invulnerable... for the very reason that she feels... Xander: (interrupts) That's a very interesting point about trout, you just brought up now. Buffy walks up to them. Giles: Trout? (notices Buffy) Trout! Yes, trout, i-is a fish. Good morning. Did you sleep well? Buffy: Like a rock. Master's gone. Giles: I'm sorry? Buffy: The Master. I went by his grave last night, and they have a vacancy. Giles: Good God! Willow: What would somebody want with Master bones? Xander: A trophy, a horrible conversation piece? Buffy: They're gonna bring him back. They're gonna bring the Master back to life, and I seem to recall you telling me he was history. Giles: Buffy, I-I-I've never heard of a-a revivification ritual being successful. Buffy: But you've heard of them? Thanks for the warning. Willow: Well, Buffy, Giles did bury him and... Buffy: Look, this is Slayer stuff, okay? Could we have just a little less from the civilians, please? Xander: Okay, that's just about enough! Buffy shoots Xander a look. Snyder: (interrupts) I believe some of us have class? And some of us have jobs. Giles: Y-yes, well, I'll, uh, I'll see you all, uh, in the library later. We'll, we'll continue this discussion. Willow: About trout. The kids leave. Snyder watches them go. Snyder: There're some things I can just smell. It's like a sixth sense. Giles: No, actually that would be one of the five. Snyder: That Summers girl. I smell trouble. I smell expulsion, and just the faintest aroma of jail. Giles: Well, before you throw away the key, you might consider giving her the benefit of the doubt. She may surprise you. Snyder: You really have faith in those kids, don't you? Giles: Yes, I do. Snyder: Weird. Cut to the library after school. Giles: Alright, alright, I-I-I've got something. It's Latin, so bear with me. Uh, to revive the vampire they need his bones, uh... w-which they have, and, um, the blood... this is very unclear, of the closest person... uh, someone connected to the vampire. Buffy: That'd be me. Giles: Perhaps. Buffy: We were close. We killed each other. It really promotes togetherness. Xander: Well, is there anything on when the ceremony might take... A rock comes crashing through a window. Xander: Whoa! Buffy catches the rock in her hands. It has a note wrapped around it and kept in place with a bracelet. Buffy: This is Cordelia's. (takes off the note) 'Come to the Bronze before it opens, or we make her a meal.' Xander: They're gonna cook her dinner? (gets looks from everyone) I'll pretend I didn't say that. Willow: What do we do? Buffy: (exhales) I go to the Bronze and save the day. (starts to go) Xander: I don't like this. Giles: Nor I! Buffy: (turns back) Yeah? Well, you guys aren't going. Willow: What do you mean? Buffy: I can't do it anymore. I can't look after the three of you guys while I'm fighting. Willow: Well, what about the rest of the note? Buffy: What rest of the note? Willow: The part that says, 'P.S. This is a trap'? Giles: You'll be playing straight into their hands. (takes off his glasses) Buffy: I can handle this. Willow: Stop saying that! God, what's wrong with you? Xander: Cordelia may be dead. Buffy: This is my fight. She leaves and grabs her coat and bag on the way out. Willow just watches her go. Xander shakes his head. Giles puts his glasses back on. Cut to the alley outside the Bronze. Buffy senses Angel as she nears the entrance. Buffy: Y'know, being stalked isn't really a big turn-on for girls. Angel: (behind her) You need help. Someone to watch your back. Buffy: Sure you don't mean my neck? Angel: (comes around her) Why are you ridin' me? Buffy: Because I don't trust you. You're a vampire. (gets a look) Oh, I'm sorry, was that an offensive term? Should I say 'undead American'? Angel: You have to trust someone. You can't do this alone. Buffy: I trust me. Angel: You're not as strong as you think. Buffy: (gives him a challenging look) You think you can take me? Angel: What? Buffy: Oh, c'mon! I mean, you must've thought about it. What would happen if it ever came down to a fight, you vampire, me the Slayer, I mean, you must've wondered! Well, why don't we find out? Angel: I'm not gonna fight you. Buffy: Come on! Kick my ass! Angel: Don't you have somewhere to be? Buffy: I do. Angel: Well, you're wasting time. Buffy: Just stay out of my way. (walks around him to the entrance) Angel: Happy to oblige. Cut inside. Buffy comes in and looks around as she slowly walks through an empty Bronze. She comes upon a girl crying in a corner. She stops. Angel appears behind her. Buffy: That's not Cordelia. The vampire laughs and turns around. Vampire: Cordelia couldn't make it. Buffy: Where is she? Vampire: I'm not supposed to tell. Angel: I don't like this. Buffy: Don't like what? Angel: There's the bait. Where's the hook? The vampire attacks, and Buffy flips her over onto her back on the floor and pins her down with her foot. Buffy: You're right. Why would they send just one? Cut to the library. Giles is continuing his research. Willow: I still think we should've gone with her. Xander: Buffy's about to lose it. I think we should be trying to reach minimum safe distance. Willow: Xander, you know it's a trap! Giles: Ah! Ah, ah, ah! Uh, uh, the Latin is, is translated from the Sumerian, a-a-and rather badly. Closest to the Master actually translates as 'nearest'. Physically. The, the, the person or persons who were with him... when he... (looks up) It is a trap. Several vampires appear on the mezzanine level above. Giles: It just isn't for her. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ The Bronze. Buffy binds the vampire's wrists Buffy: Watch her. Don't kill her unless you have to. (shoves her over to Angel) Angel: Buffy! What's goin' on? Buffy: I'll be back. Cut to the library. Buffy comes rushing in, and stops short when she sees that the place is a shambles. The camera pans through the room to the center table, which has been tipped over onto its side. Behind it Xander regains consciousness and gets up, using the table for support. Buffy: Xander! She rushes over to him to help, but he shakes her off. Buffy: What happened? Xander: (out of breath) Vampires. The ones you could handle yourself. Buffy: Where are the others? Xander: I don't know. (angry) I don't know what your problem is, what your issues are. But as of now, I officially don't care. If you'd worked with us for five seconds, you coulda stopped this. Buffy: (turns away) We, we just have to think. Where would they have taken them? Xander: (vehemently) If they hurt Willow, I'll kill you. She turns back to him and looks at him seriously. Buffy: Why did they take them and not you? Xander: Giles said the ritual was, um... They needed people who were close to the Master. Physically close. When he, uh... Buffy: The ones who were with the Master when he died. Xander: Giles, Willow, Cordelia... Buffy: Ms. Calendar. Xander: Odds are they've got a complete set by now. Buffy: We need to find out where. Xander: How? Cut to the Bronze. Buffy is interrogating the female vampire. She throws her down onto the floor. Buffy: One more time: where are they? Vampire: You're too late. Your friends are dead. Buffy: (lifts her back up) Tell me where they are! Vampire: (laughs) What are you gonna do? Kill me? Buffy: As a matter of fact... She throws the vampire onto a pool table. Buffy: ...yes. (yanks off her necklace) But since I'm not gonna kill you any time soon, the question becomes... She drops the cross into the vampire's mouth and covers it with her hands. Buffy: ...how are we gonna pass the time till then? The cross burns in the vampire's mouth, and she shakes her head. After several seconds Buffy pulls the cross back out. Buffy: So. One more time. Cut to the warehouse. Cut inside. Collin carries a black case past the Master's skeleton, which has been laid out on a table. Absalom takes it from him. Absalom: Begin. Another vampire starts pulling on a chain, and Willow, Giles, Cordelia and Jenny are moved along an overhead conveyor to hang upside down and unconscious above the Master's bones. Absalom: Behold, these four mortals. Buffy comes into the warehouse through a side door. Angel and Xander follow her in. Absalom: Witnesses to our Master's wretched demise. They will breathe their last this night. The blood that pours from their throats will bring NEW LIFE to the old one. We gather for his resurrection. For the dawn of this new hell. Buffy looks up at the four of them hanging upside down. Xander: (in a low voice) Buffy! Buffy! (she faces him) We gotta do something now! Buffy: You two get the others out of here. Angel: We need you to distract the vampires. Buffy: Right. Xander: What are you gonna do? Buffy: I'm gonna kill them all. (turns to her task) That oughta distract them. Cut to Absalom, holding a Kuhkri, a long, curved knife. Absalom: For the old one. For his pain. For the dark. Vampires: For the dark! Absalom kisses the blade. Cut to one of the vampires. A stake is suddenly thrust through him from behind, and he instantly turns into ashes. Buffy stands there now in a fighting stance. Absalom looks at her in disbelief and then roars. Three vampires begin fighting her. She easily keeps them at bay. Angel and Xander seize the opportunity to climb the ladder to the platform above to get the others off of the conveyor. Buffy continues to fight the vampires below. Absalom takes Collin and ushers him out of the warehouse. He comes back in and sees Angel and Xander pulling on the chain, bringing the others back over to the platform. Absalom: The sacrifices! Stop them! A vampire responds to Absalom's command and runs to the ladder to the platform. Buffy continues to fight below as Angel and Xander keep pulling on the chain. Absalom looks around and then rushes out of the warehouse. Buffy keeps fighting. She does a flip over some wooden boxes, grabs one on the way and smashes it onto a vampire's head. She kicks the vampire in the face, knocking him down and breaking a few pieces of wood off of the box. She gets tackled by another vampire. On the platform above Giles, Jenny and Cordelia are already off of the conveyor. Angel and Xander lift Willow off as well. Giles rolls on the floor in semi- consciousness. They lay Willow down and tend to them all. A vampire finally makes it up to the platform and growls. Angel looks at him with his game face on and growls back. The vampire attacks, and Angel rushes to meet him. They fight. Below one of them is on top of Buffy. She reaches up with a broken piece of wood and jams it into the vampire's back, and gets ash all over herself. The vampire she knocked down before with the box gets up and rushes to attack her. Above, Angel and his opponent fall through a poorly covered hole in the platform. Jenny is awake now and crawls over to Giles, who is also awake now and trying to sit up. Giles: Are you alright? Jenny: Yeah, I'm okay. Giles: Where's Buffy? Xander is at the edge of the platform holding a still unconscious Willow with his arm and watching the fight below. Xander: Uh, she's working out her issues. Buffy is still fighting a vampire below. Underneath the platform Angel's attacker tries to jam a piece of wood into his chest, but Angel stops him and jams it into his instead. Buffy kicks the vampire she's fighting into a storage rack, and he goes down with it. Absalom shows up again in the doorway with a large sledgehammer. Absalom: ENOUGH! Buffy turns to look at him. The other vampire gets back up. Absalom: Your day is done, girl. I'll grind you into a *sticky* paste, and hear you beg before I smash in your face. Buffy: So, are you gonna kill me or are we just making small talk? Absalom raises the sledgehammer in indignation and yells as he begins his attack. The other vampire rushes at her from the other side. Buffy calmly looks at the tall wooden torch post in front of her, breaks it off and turns it a few times in her hands. The vampire impales himself on the broken end and crumbles into ash. Absalom runs into the burning end and is set ablaze. He backs up and screams as the flames spread over him. He makes a last desperate attempt to get Buffy and raises the sledgehammer over his head, but is too late as the flames engulf him and instantly burn him up. The sledgehammer falls to the floor with a loud clang. Buffy drops the post and looks over at the Master's skeleton. Cut to the platform above. Willow is awake now. Willow: It's over. Xander: No, it's not. Cut below. Buffy bends down and picks up the sledgehammer. She slowly walks over to the Master's skeleton and looks at it a moment. Then she swings the hammer back behind her and arcs it directly into the Master's skull, shattering it to pieces. She keeps whaling on the Master's skeleton as Willow, Xander and Giles look down from above. Angel comes up behind her and watches her continue until there's nothing left on the table. She stops and bursts into tears, dropping the sledgehammer to the floor. Angel: It's okay. It's okay. Buffy turns around and leans into him, crying into his shoulder. Angel gently holds on to her as she cries. Xander, Willow and Giles continue to watch from above. Willow briefly looks up at Xander. Cut to the school the next day. Jenny and Cordelia walk across the quad. Cordelia: What an ordeal. And you know what the worst part is? Jenny: What? Cordelia: It stays with you forever. No matter what they tell you, none of that rust and blood and grime comes out. I mean, you can dry clean till judgment day, you are living with those stains. Jenny: Yeah that's the worst part of being hung upside down by a vampire who wants to slit your throat: the stains. Cordelia: I hear ya! Giles and Buffy come walking the other way on the other side of the quad. Buffy: I don't think I can face them. Giles: Hmm? Of course, you can. Buffy: I can't! What am I supposed say? 'Sorry I almost got your throat slit. What's the homework?' Giles: Punishing yourself like this is pointless. Buffy: It's entirely pointy. I was a moron. I put my best friends in mortal danger on the second day of school. Giles: What are you gonna do? Crawl inside a cave for the rest of your life? Buffy: Would it have cable? Giles: Buffy, you acted wrongly, I admit that. But believe me, that was hardly the, the worst mistake you'll ever make. Uh, that wasn't quite as comforting as it was meant to be. Buffy: Well, points for effort. (the bell rings) See ya. Cut to class. Buffy comes in, sees Willow and Xander and stops. Willow sees her come in. Xander, facing Willow, notices her look up and looks over, too, but goes back to what he's doing on Willow's desk. Buffy walks over to an empty desk next to Willow. Willow: Hey, Buffy. Buffy: Hey. Willow: We saved you a seat. Buffy looks at them both and sits down. Xander: There's a rumor going around that, uh, Mr. Cox is the most boring teacher in the entire world. Like, I think he won a belt or something. Buffy: Like, yes. Willow: Well, I hear he nods off a lot. So that's a plus. Xander: So, we Bronzin' it tonight? Willow: Wednesday, it's kinda beat. Xander: Well, we could grind our enemies into talcum powder with a sledgehammer, but, gosh, we did that last night. The two of them give Buffy big smiles. She smiles back. Xander: Hey, I got a plan: how 'bout miniature golf. Willow: There's no course here. Xander: Okay, uh, miniature tennis! A very tiny form of tennis that we could invent... They make small talk until class begins. The camera slowly pans around them. Cut to the warehouse. Collin surveys the damage Buffy has wrought. He looks all around him at the pieces of bone strewn all over the place. Collin: I hate that girl.